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Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods, while others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods, while others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, the issue of excess packaging has become a pressing concern, as it directly contributes to environmental degradation. While some people argue that manufacturers and supermarkets should take the lead in reducing packaging, others believe that customers should bear the onus of this challenge. In this essay, I will elaborate both perspectives before coming to a personal viewpoint.

On the one hand, proponents of the thinking that manufacturers and supermarkets should take responsibility argue that they have significant influence over production and distribution of goods; hence these parties have power to make significant changes in the market. As the primary creators and distributors of packaged products, they are in a unique position to develop recycled packaging and promote innovative solutions. For example, if eco-friendly packaging such as biodegradation bags were opted to replace plastic bags, a reduction in plastic waste is much a result of this initiative. In addition to this, they could actively promote a sustainable campaign to encourage people to follow the suit, leading to substantial decrease of wastes from ungradable packed-products.

On the other hand, advocates of the idea that reducing the amount of packaging of goods lies with customers argue that individuals play a crucial role in driving market behaviors. They contend that by making the conscious decisions to purchase minimalist-designed and environmentally-friendly packaging somewhat creates a ripple effect, meaning that the majority of citizens tends to do the same by collecting sustainable products, further prompting manufacturers to change their packaging strategies in response to consumer preferences. It is common to see that manufacturers and supermarkets often place importance on profits, so they are likely to unveil sustainable alternatives to meet demands in the long term.

From my perspective, a combination of both approaches is necessary in a comprehensive way. While manufacturers and supermarkets should be encouraged to minimize packaging size and adopt sustainable activities, individuals should support environmentally-friendly products, creating a demand to prioritize sustainable practices.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "pressing concern" -> "pressing issue"
    Explanation: Replacing "pressing concern" with "pressing issue" maintains a formal tone and avoids the use of a slightly informal word, "concern."

  2. "onus" -> "responsibility"
    Explanation: Replacing "onus" with "responsibility" is more academically appropriate and clearer in conveying the idea that customers should take responsibility for the challenge.

  3. "elaborate both perspectives" -> "examine both perspectives in detail"
    Explanation: "Elaborate" is slightly informal in this context. Replacing it with "examine in detail" enhances the academic tone of the sentence.

  4. "proponents of the thinking that" -> "advocates of the belief that"
    Explanation: "Proponents of the thinking that" can be made more concise and formal by using "advocates of the belief that."

  5. "initiative" -> "endeavor"
    Explanation: Replacing "initiative" with "endeavor" adds a more formal and sophisticated touch to the sentence.

  6. "wastes from ungradable packed-products" -> "waste from non-biodegradable packaged products"
    Explanation: "Ungradable" is not a standard term in this context. Using "non-biodegradable" and "packaged products" makes the sentence clearer and more formal.

  7. "advocates of the idea that" -> "supporters of the notion that"
    Explanation: Replacing "advocates of the idea that" with "supporters of the notion that" maintains a formal tone and adds variety to the language.

  8. "minimalist-designed" -> "minimally designed"
    Explanation: "Minimalist-designed" can be simplified to "minimally designed" while retaining the intended meaning.

  9. "unveil sustainable alternatives" -> "introduce sustainable alternatives"
    Explanation: "Unveil" is slightly informal in this context. "Introduce" is a more appropriate choice for academic writing.

  10. "in the long term" -> "over the long term"
    Explanation: Adding "over" before "the long term" makes the expression more idiomatic and natural without sacrificing formality.

  11. "From my perspective" -> "In my view"
    Explanation: "From my perspective" can be replaced with "In my view" to maintain formality and conciseness.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question. It discusses both views (manufacturers/supermarkets and customers) and provides a clear personal opinion.
    • How to improve: No improvement needed in this aspect. The essay has comprehensively covered all aspects of the prompt.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout. It consistently argues that a combination of efforts from both manufacturers/supermarkets and customers is necessary.
    • How to improve: No specific improvement needed in this regard. The essay has successfully presented a clear and consistent stance.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas. It provides examples and arguments for both perspectives (manufacturers/supermarkets and customers), demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
    • How to improve: The essay could further improve by providing additional specific examples or statistics to strengthen the arguments. Adding more depth to the analysis would enhance the overall quality.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay stays on topic throughout and does not deviate from the main subject of excess packaging and the roles of manufacturers/supermarkets and customers.
    • How to improve: No improvement needed in this aspect. The essay maintains focus on the topic effectively.

Overall, this essay demonstrates strong task response skills. It thoroughly addresses the prompt, maintains a clear and consistent position, presents and supports ideas effectively, and stays on topic. To further enhance the essay, the author can consider providing more detailed examples and evidence to strengthen their arguments.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. It follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs presenting both perspectives, and a conclusion. Each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence, and ideas are generally presented in a coherent order.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the essay could benefit from a more explicit roadmap in the introduction, outlining the main points to be discussed. Additionally, the transition between the third body paragraph and the conclusion could be smoother, summarizing the main points more explicitly.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas and arguments. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, which aids readability and comprehension.
    • How to improve: There are no major issues with paragraphing. However, consider providing more detailed examples within the body paragraphs to support the arguments presented.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a reasonable range of cohesive devices to connect ideas. Examples of cohesive devices include transition words (e.g., "On the one hand," "On the other hand," "From my perspective"), pronouns (e.g., "they," "these parties"), and repetition of key concepts (e.g., "sustainable," "packaging"). These devices help link sentences and paragraphs together.
    • How to improve: While the use of cohesive devices is generally adequate, consider incorporating more varied and precise transition words and phrases to improve the overall flow. Additionally, ensure that pronoun references are always clear and unambiguous to avoid potential confusion for the reader.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a solid level of coherence and cohesion. To enhance the score further, focus on providing a clear roadmap in the introduction, refining transitions between paragraphs, and diversifying cohesive devices for improved clarity and flow.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fairly wide range of vocabulary. It incorporates terms such as "excess packaging," "environmental degradation," "eco-friendly packaging," "biodegradation bags," "sustainable campaign," "minimalist-designed," "environmentally-friendly packaging," "sustainable alternatives," and "sustainable practices." These terms effectively convey the concepts related to the topic of excess packaging and environmental responsibility.

    • How to improve: To further enhance vocabulary, consider incorporating more precise and varied synonyms or related terms within the same context. For instance, instead of repeating phrases like "sustainable practices," you can use alternatives like "environmentally-conscious methods" or "ecologically responsible approaches." This will add depth to your lexical resource.

  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with a reasonable degree of precision. It effectively conveys the intended meanings of the terms used. For example, the essay precisely uses terms like "biodegradation bags" to refer to a specific type of eco-friendly packaging, and "minimalist-designed" to describe packaging with minimal design elements.

    • How to improve: While the precision of vocabulary usage is generally good, there are some areas where improvement can be made. For instance, in the sentence "a reduction in plastic waste is much a result of this initiative," the word "much" seems out of place and imprecise. Instead, you could say, "a reduction in plastic waste is a direct result of this initiative," which is more precise.

  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy. There are no glaring spelling errors that significantly impact the overall readability. However, there are a few minor issues such as "ungradable," which should be "non-recyclable," and "somewhat creates," which should be "somewhat creates," and "unveil sustainable alternatives" should be "unveil sustainable alternatives."

    • How to improve: To further improve spelling accuracy, consider proofreading your work carefully. Additionally, utilizing spelling and grammar checking tools can help identify and correct minor errors. Developing a habit of revising and editing your essays can significantly enhance spelling accuracy.

Overall, this essay displays a competent level of vocabulary usage and spelling accuracy. To further improve, pay attention to precision in vocabulary and make minor corrections to spelling errors for even greater lexical resource excellence.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, complex, and compound-complex sentences. There is evidence of varied sentence beginnings and lengths. For instance, the essay employs complex sentences such as, "While some people argue that manufacturers and supermarkets should take responsibility, others believe that customers should bear the onus of this challenge." This variety contributes to the overall readability and effectiveness of the essay.
    • How to improve: To further enhance the diversity of sentence structures, consider incorporating more rhetorical devices (e.g., parallelism, inversion) and transitional phrases to create smooth connections between ideas. This will add richness to your writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates strong grammatical accuracy with only minor errors. For example, the phrase "much a result of this initiative" could be improved by removing "much" to make it grammatically correct as "a result of this initiative." Punctuation is generally used correctly throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: To further improve grammatical accuracy, proofread carefully for minor errors, especially in complex sentence structures. Additionally, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and tense consistency to maintain precision.

Overall, the essay showcases a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy. Continue to practice and refine your writing skills to consistently achieve a high level of proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, the issue of excess packaging has become a pressing concern, as it directly contributes to environmental degradation. While some people argue that manufacturers and supermarkets should take the lead in reducing packaging, others believe that customers should bear the onus of this challenge. In this essay, I will elaborate on both perspectives before sharing my personal viewpoint.

On one hand, advocates of the belief that manufacturers and supermarkets should take responsibility argue that they possess significant influence over the production and distribution of goods, giving them the power to make significant changes in the market. As the primary creators and distributors of packaged products, they are in a unique position to develop recycled packaging and promote innovative solutions. For example, if eco-friendly packaging such as biodegradable bags were adopted to replace plastic bags, a reduction in plastic waste would result from this initiative. Additionally, they could actively promote a sustainable campaign to encourage people to follow suit, leading to a substantial decrease in waste from non-biodegradable packaged products.

On the other hand, supporters of the notion that reducing the amount of packaging of goods lies with customers argue that individuals play a crucial role in shaping market behaviors. They contend that by making conscious decisions to purchase minimally designed and environmentally-friendly packaging, individuals can create a ripple effect, inspiring the majority of citizens to do the same and seek sustainable products. This, in turn, prompts manufacturers to change their packaging strategies in response to consumer preferences. It is common to see that manufacturers and supermarkets often prioritize profits, so they are likely to introduce sustainable alternatives over the long term to meet consumer demands.

In my view, a combination of both approaches is necessary in a comprehensive way. While manufacturers and supermarkets should be encouraged to minimize packaging size and introduce sustainable alternatives, individuals should support environmentally-friendly products, creating a demand that prioritizes sustainable practices. This collaborative effort can lead to a more significant reduction in excessive packaging and its harmful environmental impact.

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