Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. While others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with lots of packaging. Discuss these views and give opinions, give reasons.

The recently increasing awareness of utilizing environmentally friendly products to serve environmental protection purposes has questioned the packaging process, whether producers should take charge of packaging reduction or buyers should also get involved. I concur that this issue could be mitigated by both sides’ actions, and this essay will provide specific explanations in both user's and companies’ dimensions.
Initially, from the providers’ and creators’ aspect, as they are primary contributors to the common appearance of good packaging in the market, it is advisable for them to decrease the amount of those harmful products. Unless they take advantage of using plastic bags, cans, or boxes to wrap up their goods, those types of detrimental packages will not become ubiquitous currently, as evidenced by the omnipresence of pre-prepared food contained in stiff cans, which can be found on numerous shelves in almost every shop, ranging from shopping malls to privately-owned retailers. Furthermore, another justification for their contribution is that they have potential financial resources and market-oriented influences. To be specific, when they commit to achieving the target of packaging reduction, they can cooperate with each other to innovate their production techniques, in which the restriction of plastic packaging might be promoted during good manufacturing practices. This could lead to a desirable outcome that buyers may get access to adverse types of packages limitedly.
On the other hand, I suggest that ordinary people should also take this issue into consideration., concerning their shopping behaviors, each customer possibly affects others in several ways, especially by motivating others to buy more than their needs. For instance, if a product wrapped in plastic packaging becomes well-known by mouth, it may pose a threat to human living habitat as it enables the public to follow the trend to satisfy their curiosity. Its key implication is that a gigantic number of plastic packages will be released to landfills, causing air pollution in regions. By contrast, if they encourage each other to use less packaging goods, a green trend might be sparked throughout the world, therefore recycled packaging will be more widespread.
In short, I assume that both shoppers and producers are attributed to an increasing amount of packaging goods, and they should take timely actions to deal with this issue.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The recently increasing awareness" -> "The increasing awareness recently"
Explanation: Reordering the words improves the sentence structure, making it more natural and formal.
"utilizing environmentally friendly products" -> "using environmentally friendly products"
Explanation: "Utilizing" is slightly more formal than "using," but "using" is more commonly used in academic contexts to describe the application of products.
"serve environmental protection purposes" -> "serve environmental protection goals"
Explanation: "Goals" is more specific and formal than "purposes," aligning better with academic language.
"questioned the packaging process" -> "raised questions about the packaging process"
Explanation: "Raised questions about" is a more precise and formal way to express inquiry or debate.
"buyers should also get involved" -> "consumers should also participate"
Explanation: "Consumers" is a more formal term than "buyers," and "participate" is more specific than "get involved" in this context.
"this issue could be mitigated" -> "this issue can be addressed"
Explanation: "Addressed" is a more precise term in formal writing, indicating a direct approach to resolving the issue.
"from the providers’ and creators’ aspect" -> "from the perspective of providers and creators"
Explanation: "Perspective" is more appropriate than "aspect" in this context, and removing the apostrophe from "providers" corrects a grammatical error.
"decrease the amount of those harmful products" -> "reduce the use of such harmful packaging"
Explanation: "Reduce the use of" is more specific and formal than "decrease the amount of," and "such" is more appropriate than "those" in this context.
"unless they take advantage of using" -> "unless they opt to use"
Explanation: "Opt to use" is more formal and precise than "take advantage of using," which sounds informal and vague.
"those types of detrimental packages" -> "such types of detrimental packaging"
Explanation: "Packaging" is the correct noun form to use here, and "such" is more appropriate than "those" in this context.
"can be found on numerous shelves" -> "are available on numerous shelves"
Explanation: "Are available" is a more formal and precise way to describe the presence of products in stores.
"market-oriented influences" -> "market influence"
Explanation: "Market influence" is a more concise and formal term than "market-oriented influences."
"commit to achieving the target" -> "commit to meeting the target"
Explanation: "Meeting" is a more precise verb in this context, indicating the fulfillment of a goal.
"adverse types of packages limitedly" -> "reduced types of packaging"
Explanation: "Reduced types of packaging" is clearer and more formal than "adverse types of packages limitedly," which is awkward and unclear.
"ordinary people should also take this issue into consideration" -> "consumers should also consider this issue"
Explanation: "Consumers" is a more formal term than "ordinary people," and "consider" is more appropriate than "take into consideration."
"motivating others to buy more than their needs" -> "encouraging others to purchase more than they need"
Explanation: "Encouraging" is more formal than "motivating," and "purchase" is more precise than "buy."
"a gigantic number of plastic packages" -> "a large quantity of plastic packaging"
Explanation: "Large quantity" is more formal and precise than "gigantic number," and "packaging" is the correct noun form.
"a green trend might be sparked" -> "a green trend could emerge"
Explanation: "Could emerge" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "might be sparked."
"therefore recycled packaging will be more widespread" -> "therefore, recycled packaging will become more prevalent"
Explanation: "Become more prevalent" is a more formal and precise expression than "will be more widespread."
"I assume that both shoppers and producers are attributed to an increasing amount of packaging goods" -> "I believe that both consumers and producers contribute to the increasing amount of packaging"
Explanation: "Contribute to" is more accurate and formal than "are attributed to," and "consumers" is preferred over "shoppers" in formal writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both sides of the argument regarding the responsibility of manufacturers and consumers in reducing packaging. The first body paragraph discusses the role of manufacturers and producers, highlighting their influence and potential for reducing harmful packaging. The second body paragraph shifts focus to consumers, emphasizing their impact on shopping behaviors and the potential for change through collective action. However, while both perspectives are presented, the essay could benefit from a more explicit discussion of the implications of each viewpoint, particularly in terms of the effectiveness of consumer action versus manufacturer responsibility.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each viewpoint is not only presented but also critically analyzed. This could involve discussing the potential effectiveness of consumer actions compared to manufacturer initiatives, and providing examples or evidence to support these claims. Additionally, a clearer conclusion summarizing the implications of both sides would strengthen the overall argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer states a clear position in the introduction, indicating agreement that both manufacturers and consumers share responsibility. However, the position could be more consistently reinforced throughout the essay. For instance, while the introduction and conclusion articulate a balanced view, the body paragraphs sometimes lean more heavily towards one side without adequately reinforcing the dual responsibility.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should consistently refer back to their stance in each paragraph. This can be achieved by explicitly linking back to the thesis statement after discussing each viewpoint, ensuring that the reader is reminded of the balanced perspective throughout the essay. Additionally, using transitional phrases that reflect the dual responsibility can help maintain this clarity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to both manufacturers and consumers, with some supporting details provided. For example, the discussion of manufacturers includes references to financial resources and market influence, while the consumer section touches on social influence and trends. However, the ideas could be more fully developed, as some points are introduced but not elaborated upon, leading to a lack of depth in the argumentation.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations for each point made. For instance, when discussing how manufacturers can innovate production techniques, specific examples of successful initiatives or case studies could be included. Similarly, when addressing consumer behavior, the writer could elaborate on how social media influences purchasing decisions, providing a more comprehensive view of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt’s requirement to discuss both views and provide opinions. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, particularly in the second body paragraph where the discussion of consumer influence becomes somewhat vague and less directly related to the main argument about packaging reduction.
- How to improve: To maintain a stronger focus on the topic, the writer should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the central question of responsibility for packaging reduction. This can be achieved by explicitly linking examples and arguments to the prompt, ensuring that every sentence contributes to the overall discussion. Additionally, avoiding overly broad statements and keeping the discussion tightly aligned with the specific issue of packaging will enhance coherence.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view, there is room for improvement in the depth of analysis, clarity of position, and focus on the topic. By addressing these areas, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs are organized into two main sections: one discussing the responsibilities of manufacturers and the other focusing on consumers. However, the logical flow within paragraphs could be improved. For instance, the transition between discussing manufacturers’ responsibilities and consumers’ roles could be smoother to enhance the overall coherence of the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the main idea. Additionally, ensure that each point within a paragraph builds upon the previous one, using transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument. For example, after discussing manufacturers, a phrase like "Conversely, it is equally important to consider the role of consumers" could help transition to the next point more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the argument, making it easier for the reader to follow. However, the second paragraph is quite lengthy and could benefit from being split into two separate paragraphs to enhance readability and focus.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, aim for a more balanced length across paragraphs. Each paragraph should ideally contain a single main idea supported by examples or explanations. For instance, the second paragraph could be divided into one focusing on manufacturers’ responsibilities and another detailing consumers’ roles, allowing for a more in-depth exploration of each point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "initially," "furthermore," and "on the other hand," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some transitions feel forced or unclear. For example, the phrase "as evidenced by the omnipresence of pre-prepared food" could be better integrated into the flow of the argument.
- How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "in addition," "consequently," and "for instance." This will help create a more fluid reading experience. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is contextually appropriate and enhances the clarity of the argument. For example, instead of saying "its key implication is," consider rephrasing to "this implies that," which may sound more natural and cohesive in context.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, focusing on improving the logical flow, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score further.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, particularly with terms related to environmental issues and packaging. Phrases such as "environmentally friendly products," "harmful products," and "financial resources" showcase an ability to use topic-specific vocabulary effectively. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "packaging" and "goods" could be substituted with synonyms to avoid redundancy and enhance the lexical variety.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "packaging," alternatives like "wrapping," "container," or "enclosure" could be employed. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives or adverbs could enrich the text, such as "excessive packaging" instead of just "packaging."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances of imprecise usage that can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "take charge of packaging reduction" could be interpreted as manufacturers having sole responsibility, which may not accurately reflect the shared responsibility discussed in the essay. Additionally, the term "adverse types of packages" is somewhat vague and unclear in its meaning.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should aim for clarity in word choice. Instead of "take charge of packaging reduction," a more precise phrase could be "take the initiative to reduce packaging." Furthermore, clarifying what is meant by "adverse types of packages" would strengthen the argument. The writer could specify "environmentally harmful packaging materials" to convey the intended meaning more clearly.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is generally accurate, with no significant errors that detract from understanding. However, there are a couple of minor issues, such as "users’" which should be "users’" to indicate possession correctly. Additionally, the phrase "good manufacturing practices" should be "good manufacturing practices" to maintain consistency in terminology.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully to catch any minor errors. Utilizing spelling and grammar checking tools can also be beneficial. Additionally, practicing writing with a focus on commonly misspelled words in the context of the topic can help reinforce correct spelling.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, there is room for improvement in terms of variety, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and conditional clauses. For example, phrases like "I concur that this issue could be mitigated by both sides’ actions" and "unless they take advantage of using plastic bags" show an ability to construct complex ideas. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and unclear structures, such as "the common appearance of good packaging in the market," which could confuse readers. The use of passive voice is also noted, such as "potential financial resources and market-oriented influences," which can sometimes detract from clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should experiment with more varied sentence beginnings and lengths. Incorporating more transitional phrases could also improve the flow of ideas. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "I suggest that," varying the structure to include phrases like "It is important to note that" or "Another perspective is that" could provide more dynamism. Additionally, ensuring clarity in complex sentences is crucial; simplifying overly convoluted structures will help maintain reader engagement.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally good command of grammar, with few major errors. However, there are notable issues with punctuation, such as the misplaced comma in "I suggest that ordinary people should also take this issue into consideration.," which should not have a period after "consideration." Additionally, the phrase "as evidenced by the omnipresence of pre-prepared food contained in stiff cans" is overly complex and could benefit from clearer punctuation to separate ideas. The use of "therefore" in "therefore recycled packaging will be more widespread" lacks a preceding comma, which would clarify the relationship between the clauses.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in complex sentences. Regular practice with grammar exercises focused on common pitfalls, such as comma splices and run-on sentences, could be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors before submission can help catch mistakes that may detract from the overall quality of the essay. Engaging in peer reviews or using grammar-checking tools could also provide insights into areas needing improvement.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on clarity, punctuation, and further diversifying sentence structures will enhance the overall effectiveness of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The increasing awareness recently of utilizing environmentally friendly products to serve environmental protection goals has raised questions about the packaging process, specifically whether producers should take charge of packaging reduction or buyers should also get involved. I concur that this issue can be addressed by actions from both sides, and this essay will provide specific explanations from the perspectives of users and companies.

Initially, from the perspective of providers and creators, as they are primary contributors to the common appearance of excessive packaging in the market, it is advisable for them to reduce the use of such harmful packaging. Unless they opt to use plastic bags, cans, or boxes to wrap up their goods, such types of detrimental packaging will not become ubiquitous currently. This is evidenced by the omnipresence of pre-prepared food contained in stiff cans, which are available on numerous shelves in almost every shop, ranging from shopping malls to privately-owned retailers. Furthermore, another justification for their contribution is that they have potential financial resources and market influence. To be specific, when they commit to meeting the target of packaging reduction, they can cooperate with each other to innovate their production techniques, in which the restriction of plastic packaging might be promoted during good manufacturing practices. This could lead to a desirable outcome where buyers may have limited access to adverse types of packaging.

On the other hand, I suggest that ordinary people should also consider this issue concerning their shopping behaviors. Each customer can possibly affect others in several ways, especially by encouraging others to purchase more than they need. For instance, if a product wrapped in plastic packaging becomes well-known by word of mouth, it may pose a threat to the human living habitat as it enables the public to follow the trend to satisfy their curiosity. Its key implication is that a large quantity of plastic packaging will be released to landfills, causing air pollution in certain regions. By contrast, if they encourage each other to use goods with reduced types of packaging, a green trend could emerge throughout the world; therefore, recycled packaging will become more prevalent.

In short, I believe that both consumers and producers contribute to the increasing amount of packaging, and they should take timely actions to address this issue.