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Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding
change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In a society where human’s life has become more convenient in all aspects, people have started finding the direction for their life to make it worth living. Some people prefer to be stagnant while others believe that flexibility and adaptability is beneficial in life. I agree with the second perspective because being open to new experiences brings humans a wide range of knowledge and value besides little loss.
Granted, people might argue that when staying in their safe zone, everything can happen in the way they planned and risks can be reduced. Familiarity brings them peace in mind since things which happen in a predictable way will be easier to solve, otherwise, big risks will come and make negative changes to their life. For example, people choose to stay in an abusive, toxic relationship due to the fear of losing something claimed to be good for them. However, I do not think living within the status quo can completely avoid risks because the world changes every second, so while maintaining the status quo may seem safe in the short term, it can ultimately lead to greater risks in the long term.
On the other hand, others believe that a shift in direction is the best way to sustainable success. The road to success is always packed with obstacles and challenges and their failure on this road gives us maturity and bravery to continue pursuing our passion. Furthermore, the value and knowledge that they gain during their hard journey can be a sustainable foundation for them to achieve bigger goals or protect themselves from sudden difficulties in life. All things considered, I strongly agree with this line of thinking since by undergoing ups and downs, life can be interesting and memorable. Also, possessing this lifestyle gives people the best preparation for dramatic changes in the world.
Briefly, although there are convincing reasons for everyone to choose between stability and flexibility, new things are irresistible and humans have to learn how to adapt with changes. However, each choice has to be rational and selective in order to lead our life to the right direction.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "human’s life" -> "human life"
    Explanation: Using "human life" instead of "human’s life" is more grammatically correct and eliminates the unnecessary possessive apostrophe, adhering to formal writing conventions.

  2. "make it worth living" -> "find meaning or purpose"
    Explanation: "Make it worth living" is slightly informal. "Find meaning or purpose" maintains the intended sense while sounding more formal and academic.

  3. "Some people prefer to be stagnant" -> "Some individuals prefer stability"
    Explanation: "Stagnant" is somewhat informal and may carry a negative connotation. "Stability" is a more neutral and formal term suitable for academic writing.

  4. "people have started finding the direction for their life" -> "individuals have begun seeking direction in their lives"
    Explanation: Replacing "finding the direction for their life" with "seeking direction in their lives" enhances clarity and formality while maintaining the intended meaning.

  5. "open to new experiences brings humans a wide range of knowledge and value besides little loss" -> "being receptive to new experiences provides humans with extensive knowledge and value with minimal drawbacks"
    Explanation: The original phrase lacks precision and clarity. By restructuring and elaborating the sentence, it becomes more academically precise and clearer in meaning.

  6. "Granted, people might argue that" -> "Admittedly, some may argue that"
    Explanation: "Granted" is slightly informal for academic writing. "Admittedly" serves as a more formal transition to introduce a counterargument.

  7. "everything can happen in the way they planned" -> "everything may unfold according to their plans"
    Explanation: "Can happen in the way they planned" is less formal. "May unfold according to their plans" maintains formality while conveying the same idea.

  8. "big risks will come and make negative changes to their life" -> "significant risks may arise, leading to adverse changes in their lives"
    Explanation: "Big risks will come" is informal. "Significant risks may arise" is a more formal and precise alternative.

  9. "people choose to stay in an abusive, toxic relationship due to the fear of losing something claimed to be good for them" -> "individuals opt to remain in an abusive, toxic relationship out of fear of losing something perceived as beneficial"
    Explanation: "Choose" and "due to" are slightly informal. "Opt" and "out of fear of losing something perceived as beneficial" are more formal and precise.

  10. "living within the status quo" -> "adhering to the status quo"
    Explanation: "Living within" is slightly informal. "Adhering to" is a more formal and appropriate alternative.

  11. "a shift in direction" -> "a change in direction"
    Explanation: "Shift" is more casual compared to "change," which is a more formal and suitable term for academic writing.

  12. "The road to success is always packed with obstacles and challenges and their failure on this road gives us maturity and bravery" -> "The path to success is invariably strewn with obstacles and challenges, and setbacks encountered along this journey contribute to our maturity and fortitude"
    Explanation: The original sentence lacks precision and uses informal language. By rephrasing and elaborating, the statement becomes more formal, precise, and suitable for academic writing.

  13. "Furthermore, the value and knowledge that they gain during their hard journey can be a sustainable foundation" -> "Moreover, the value and knowledge acquired during their arduous journey can serve as a sustainable foundation"
    Explanation: "Furthermore" is slightly informal. "Moreover" is a more formal transition. Restructuring the sentence improves clarity and formality.

  14. "All things considered" -> "Taking all factors into account"
    Explanation: "All things considered" is an informal phrase. "Taking all factors into account" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.

  15. "life can be interesting and memorable" -> "life can be enriched and memorable"
    Explanation: "Interesting" is somewhat informal. "Enriched" adds a more sophisticated tone while maintaining the intended meaning.

  16. "possessing this lifestyle gives people the best preparation" -> "adopting this lifestyle provides individuals with optimal preparation"
    Explanation: "Possessing" is somewhat informal. "Adopting" is more formal and precise.

  17. "each choice has to be rational and selective" -> "each decision must be rational and deliberate"
    Explanation: "Choice" is slightly informal. "Decision" is more formal and precise in academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both perspectives outlined in the prompt. It discusses the preference for stability as well as the benefits of embracing change, while also offering the author’s opinion.
    • How to improve: While the essay covers both viewpoints, a more nuanced exploration could enhance the depth of analysis. Providing additional examples or counterarguments could strengthen the essay’s comprehensiveness.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position favoring the belief that change is beneficial. This stance is consistently maintained throughout the essay, with the author expressing agreement with the perspective advocating for flexibility and adaptability.
    • How to improve: To further reinforce clarity, ensuring that each paragraph consistently supports the chosen position with evidence and reasoning would be beneficial. Additionally, explicitly stating the author’s opinion in the introduction and conclusion can enhance coherence.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents and develops ideas regarding the advantages and disadvantages of stability versus change. Examples such as staying in an abusive relationship and the journey to success are provided to support the arguments.
    • How to improve: To enhance the essay’s development, expanding on each example with further explanation or incorporating additional examples could provide deeper insight into the topic. Additionally, linking ideas more explicitly between paragraphs can improve coherence and flow.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the two contrasting views on change and stability as presented in the prompt.
    • How to improve: While the essay maintains relevance to the topic, ensuring that each paragraph directly relates to the discussion of change versus stability can further strengthen coherence. Avoiding tangential points or unnecessary elaboration would contribute to maintaining focus.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong grasp of the prompt and effectively addresses the criteria for Task Response. To improve further, the author can enhance the depth of analysis, reinforce clarity of position, develop ideas more expansively, and maintain strict adherence to the topic throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of ideas. It begins with an introduction that outlines the two contrasting perspectives on change, followed by body paragraphs that each discuss one viewpoint in detail before concluding with the author’s opinion. Each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the argument, allowing for clear progression of ideas.
    • How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider providing clearer transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader through the essay’s argument more smoothly. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on its respective viewpoint without veering into unrelated tangents.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs to structure the discussion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, with clear topic sentences and supporting details. The paragraphs are of appropriate length, neither overly short nor excessively long.
    • How to improve: While the essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, there could be a stronger emphasis on topic sentences to clearly introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, consider varying sentence structure within paragraphs to maintain reader engagement and avoid monotony.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay incorporates a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas and maintain coherence. These include cohesive devices such as transition words (e.g., "Granted," "However," "Furthermore," "Also"), pronouns for referencing (e.g., "their," "this"), and repetition of key phrases (e.g., "new experiences," "status quo").
    • How to improve: While cohesive devices are used effectively overall, there could be a greater diversity in the types of cohesive devices employed. Introducing a wider range of transition words and phrases can further enhance the coherence of the essay. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay to reinforce connections between ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, with varied expressions used throughout. For instance, the essay employs terms such as "flexibility," "adaptability," "predictable," "sustainable," "ups and downs," and "irresistible," showcasing the writer’s ability to express ideas with diverse vocabulary.
    • How to improve: While the essay already utilizes a wide array of vocabulary, incorporating more nuanced or sophisticated terminology could enhance the lexical richness further. Introducing specialized vocabulary related to the topic, such as terms specific to psychology, sociology, or economics, could elevate the depth of expression.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:
    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with precision, conveying ideas effectively. For example, phrases like "living within the status quo," "shift in direction," and "hard journey" are employed accurately to articulate specific concepts.
    • How to improve: To further enhance precision, consider replacing some general terms with more specific ones where applicable. For instance, instead of using "obstacles and challenges," the writer could employ more precise terms like "adversities" or "hurdles," providing a sharper depiction of the challenges faced.
  • Use Correct Spelling:
    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no notable errors detracting from comprehension. Spelling accuracy is crucial for maintaining clarity and professionalism in written communication, and this essay demonstrates a commendable standard in this aspect.
    • How to improve: Sustaining the current level of spelling accuracy is essential. Engaging in regular reading and writing practices, as well as utilizing spell-check tools, can further solidify spelling proficiency over time.

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong lexical resource, featuring a wide range of vocabulary used with precision and correct spelling. To enhance lexical richness further, the writer could incorporate more specialized vocabulary pertinent to the topic. Additionally, maintaining the current standard of precision and spelling accuracy will contribute to the overall effectiveness of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. The author employs simple, compound, and complex sentences effectively throughout the essay. For instance, there is a mix of simple declarative sentences ("Some people prefer to be stagnant while others believe that flexibility and adaptability is beneficial in life") alongside compound sentences ("The road to success is always packed with obstacles and challenges and their failure on this road gives us maturity and bravery to continue pursuing our passion") and complex sentences ("However, each choice has to be rational and selective in order to lead our life to the right direction"). This diversity enhances the readability and coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: While the essay already utilizes a variety of sentence structures, further enhancing complexity by incorporating more compound-complex sentences or employing rhetorical devices like parallelism and inversion could add depth and sophistication to the writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates strong grammatical accuracy with minimal errors. However, there are a few instances where articles or prepositions are missing or misused, such as "a wide range of knowledge and value besides little loss" (suggesting "besides a little loss" or "with little loss" for clarity) and "failure on this road gives us maturity and bravery to continue pursuing our passion" (where "failure on this road gives us maturity and bravery" could be rephrased for smoother flow). Additionally, there are minor punctuation errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences ("The road to success is always packed with obstacles and challenges and their failure on this road gives us maturity and bravery to continue pursuing our passion").
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it’s essential to review articles, prepositions, and conjunctions for proper usage. Proofreading for punctuation errors, particularly in compound and complex sentences, can further refine the clarity and coherence of the essay. Additionally, paying attention to subject-verb agreement and tense consistency can help maintain grammatical precision throughout the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In our increasingly convenient society, many individuals are seeking meaning and purpose in their lives. While some gravitate towards stability, others advocate for embracing change. Personally, I side with the latter view, as I believe that being receptive to new experiences provides humans with extensive knowledge and value with minimal drawbacks.

Admittedly, some may argue that adhering to the status quo ensures that everything unfolds according to their plans, thereby reducing risks. They find solace in the predictability of familiar routines, believing it makes solving problems easier. However, this mindset may overlook the fact that significant risks can emerge unexpectedly, leading to adverse changes in their lives. For instance, individuals may choose to remain in an abusive, toxic relationship out of fear of losing something perceived as beneficial. Nevertheless, I contend that maintaining the status quo cannot entirely eliminate risks, as the world is in a constant state of flux. While it may seem safe in the short term, sticking to the familiar path can ultimately lead to greater risks in the long term.

Conversely, others argue that a change in direction is essential for sustainable success. The path to success is invariably strewn with obstacles and challenges, and setbacks encountered along this journey contribute to our maturity and fortitude. Moreover, the value and knowledge acquired during these arduous journeys can serve as a sustainable foundation for achieving greater goals or navigating unforeseen difficulties in life. Taking all factors into account, I firmly align with this perspective, as I believe that life can be enriched and memorable through embracing change.

In conclusion, while there are compelling arguments for both stability and flexibility, the allure of new experiences is undeniable. However, it is crucial that each decision is rational and deliberate in order to steer our lives in the right direction. Embracing change, with careful consideration, offers individuals optimal preparation for the dynamic challenges of the world.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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