Some people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why is this? Do you think the government should spend more money on the local film industry?

It is true that national movies are less preferred than movies from other countries by some individuals. This phenomenon can be attributed to several reasons and I believe that governments should invest more in the local film industry.
There are two main reasons associated with this phenomenon. Firstly, movies from other countries tend to reflect their unique culture and storytelling styles, providing viewers with a diverse cinematic experience that may not be prevalent in local film productions. Therefore, viewers can widen their horizons and gain different perspectives from different parts of the world. The second reason is that international movies might feature well-known actors, actresses, and producers who are not commonly seen in local movies. This is particularly noticeable with James Wan – a renowned filmmaker who has produced an enormous number of horror-genre movies such as Insidious, The Conjuring, and Saw that give the audience a terrifying yet exhilarating feeling. His excellent production in giving appealing storyline, jump-scare effects and plot twists, has attracted a large number of people to pay money for tickets to see his products.
There are several reasons why the government should allocate more money to the national film industry. The first reason for my view relates to the producers’ motivation. To be specific, providing financial support can help local film producers make high-quality, culturally relevant, and creative content that resonates with audiences in the country. In addition, investing in the local film industry can create more job opportunities such as lighting technicians, sound designers, and camera operators. Not only does this help some people pursue their passion for cinematography, but it also boosts the economic growth of the nation.
In conclusion, there are various reasons why some people have a preference for international movies, including their unique cultures and famous people in the industry. I contend that the government should pay more attention to the domestic film industry because of better quality products and job creation.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"less preferred" -> "less favored"
Explanation: "Less favored" is a more formal and precise term compared to "less preferred," aligning better with academic tone and style.
"I believe that" -> "I contend that"
Explanation: "I contend that" carries a stronger assertion and is more appropriate for formal writing, enhancing the author’s stance with confidence.
"unique culture" -> "distinct culture"
Explanation: "Distinct culture" maintains the meaning while sounding more sophisticated and appropriate for academic discourse.
"cinematic experience" -> "filmic experience"
Explanation: "Filmic experience" is a more precise and formal term for discussing experiences related to films, fitting better within academic writing conventions.
"terrifying yet exhilarating feeling" -> "chilling yet exhilarating sensation"
Explanation: "Chilling yet exhilarating sensation" conveys a similar meaning with a more formal and nuanced vocabulary choice.
"products" -> "works"
Explanation: "Works" is a more refined term for referring to artistic creations such as movies, enhancing the formal tone of the sentence.
"The first reason for my view relates to" -> "Primarily, my perspective is grounded in"
Explanation: "Primarily, my perspective is grounded in" is a more structured and formal way to introduce the main point of the argument, enhancing clarity and academic style.
"To be specific" -> "Specifically"
Explanation: "Specifically" is a more concise and appropriate transition for introducing specific details within formal writing.
"help some people" -> "assist individuals"
Explanation: "Assist individuals" is a more formal and precise phrase compared to "help some people," enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"In conclusion" -> "To conclude"
Explanation: "To conclude" is a standard and concise transition phrase used in formal writing, maintaining the academic style of the essay.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question. It discusses why some individuals prefer foreign films over local ones and presents arguments for increased government investment in the local film industry.
- How to improve: While the essay does address all parts of the question, providing more specific examples and elaborating on the benefits of government investment could strengthen the response. For instance, specifying particular cultural elements or citing successful local film productions would enhance the analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position advocating for increased government spending on the local film industry. This stance is evident from the introduction to the conclusion.
- How to improve: To further enhance clarity, ensure that each paragraph explicitly reinforces the central argument for supporting the local film industry. Additionally, anticipate potential counterarguments and address them to bolster the persuasive impact of the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas logically, with clear examples to support arguments. It discusses the cultural significance of foreign films, the appeal of renowned filmmakers, and the potential benefits of government investment in the local film industry.
- How to improve: To extend ideas, consider providing additional insights into the economic impact of supporting the local film industry, such as revenue generation through film exports or the role of film festivals in promoting domestic productions. Moreover, ensure that each idea is thoroughly developed with sufficient elaboration and analysis.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout and does not deviate from discussing preferences for foreign films and government support for the local film industry.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, avoid tangential discussions or excessive elaboration on minor points. Keep the analysis directly relevant to the main themes of the prompt, emphasizing the reasons behind preferences for foreign films and the importance of government intervention in supporting domestic filmmaking.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a coherent argument, there is room for improvement in providing more specific examples, reinforcing clarity, extending ideas, and maintaining focus. By enhancing these aspects, the essay could achieve an even higher band score for task response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It begins with an introduction that outlines the reasons why some people prefer foreign films and concludes with a summary of the arguments supporting investment in the local film industry. Each paragraph discusses a separate reason, providing a clear structure to the essay.
- How to improve: While the essay maintains coherence overall, enhancing the transitions between paragraphs could further improve the logical flow. Consider using transitional phrases or sentences to better connect ideas and ensure a smoother transition from one point to the next.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to organize ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, such as reasons for preferring foreign films or arguments for investing in the local film industry. This segmentation enhances readability and clarity.
- How to improve: To strengthen paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. Additionally, strive for a balanced distribution of evidence and analysis within each paragraph to maintain coherence and cohesion.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and enhance coherence. Examples include transitional phrases like "firstly" and "in conclusion," as well as pronouns and conjunctions to link sentences within paragraphs.
- How to improve: While the essay uses cohesive devices effectively, consider incorporating a wider range of connectors and transition words to further strengthen coherence. Additionally, pay attention to the consistency of pronoun usage to avoid ambiguity and ensure clarity throughout the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles. By refining transitions between paragraphs, reinforcing paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay could achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of vocabulary suitable for the task. Terms like "cinematic experience," "diverse," "phenomenon," and "cultural relevance" show an effort to use topic-related language that extends beyond the most common phrases. However, the range is somewhat limited and occasionally repetitive, especially in discussions surrounding the benefits of international movies and the role of the government in supporting the local film industry.
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical range, the writer could employ synonyms and less common phrases. For instance, instead of repeating "movies" frequently, alternatives like "films," "cinematic works," or "screenings" could be used. Additionally, describing government support could include varied terms like "funding," "backing," or "investment."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a mix of precise and somewhat imprecise vocabulary use. For example, the word "terrifying" appropriately describes the nature of James Wan’s movies. However, phrases like "enormous number of horror-genre movies" could be more precisely expressed as "a wide array of horror films." Some adjectives and adverbs are used correctly but can sometimes feel misplaced due to the surrounding context, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument.
- How to improve: Focusing on word choice that directly conveys the intended meaning can enhance precision. For example, replacing "enormous number" with "extensive portfolio" or "broad range" could refine the expression. The writer should also consider the connotations of words to ensure they align with the intended message, such as using "stimulating" instead of "exhilarating" to describe the emotional impact of a movie.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a high level of spelling accuracy, which is consistent with a band 6 performance. There are no significant spelling errors that detract from understanding. This demonstrates good control over basic conventions of written English.
- How to improve: To continue improving spelling, the writer should regularly practice proofreading their work and focus on common pitfalls in English spelling, especially with irregular verbs and words with silent letters. Utilizing tools such as spell checkers in word processors or engaging with interactive spelling apps could also reinforce correct spelling habits.

Overall, while the essay achieves a band 6 for Lexical Resource, focusing on diversifying vocabulary and enhancing precision can lead to improvements in lexical skill and overall score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a commendable variety of sentence structures, incorporating simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, it effectively employs compound sentences, such as "There are two main reasons associated with this phenomenon" and "His excellent production in giving appealing storyline, jump-scare effects and plot twists, has attracted a large number of people to pay money for tickets to see his products." Additionally, complex structures are evident, as seen in the sentence, "To be specific, providing financial support can help local film producers make high-quality, culturally relevant, and creative content that resonates with audiences in the country."
- How to improve: While the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of various sentence structures, further diversification could enhance the overall fluency and sophistication of the writing. Encouraging the use of more advanced structures, such as inversion or conditional sentences, could elevate the complexity of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are a few instances where minor grammatical errors occur. For example, in the sentence, "This is particularly noticeable with James Wan – a renowned filmmaker who has produced an enormous number of horror-genre movies such as Insidious, The Conjuring, and Saw that give the audience a terrifying yet exhilarating feeling," the placement of the relative pronoun "that" is slightly awkward. Additionally, there are some punctuation errors, like missing commas in lists and between clauses.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is advisable to review the usage of relative pronouns and ensure they are appropriately placed within sentences. Moreover, a thorough proofreading to correct punctuation errors, particularly in complex sentences and lists, would refine the clarity and coherence of the essay. Taking time to revise these aspects can contribute to a smoother reading experience for the reader.

Bài sửa mẫu

It’s undeniable that certain individuals lean towards foreign films over locally made ones. This inclination can be attributed to several factors, and I firmly believe that governments should increase their investment in the local film industry.

There are two primary reasons behind this preference. Firstly, foreign films often showcase distinct cultures and storytelling techniques, offering audiences a broader cinematic experience not commonly found in domestic productions. Consequently, viewers can broaden their perspectives by exposing themselves to different cultural narratives. Secondly, international films frequently feature renowned actors, actresses, and filmmakers who may not be as prevalent in local cinema. This is particularly evident in the works of James Wan, a celebrated filmmaker known for his contributions to the horror genre with films like Insidious, The Conjuring, and Saw. Wan’s ability to deliver compelling storylines, jump scares, and plot twists has attracted a significant following, demonstrating the appeal of international cinema.

There are several compelling reasons why governments should allocate more resources to support the local film industry. Primarily, increased financial assistance can empower local filmmakers to produce high-quality, culturally relevant content that resonates with domestic audiences. Moreover, investing in the local film sector can generate employment opportunities for individuals in various roles such as lighting technicians, sound designers, and camera operators. Not only does this enable individuals to pursue their passion for filmmaking, but it also contributes to the economic development of the nation.

In conclusion, while some individuals may gravitate towards international films due to their unique cultural offerings and notable industry figures, I maintain that governments should prioritize support for the domestic film industry. This is because investing in local productions not only leads to higher-quality content but also fosters job creation and economic growth within the country.