Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. knowledge or experience. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own Write at least 250 words.
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. knowledge or experience.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
Write at least 250 words.
For certain people, they believe that advertisements have succeeded in urging consumers to purchase products, while others think that advertising has been ignored due to its familiarity. I concur with the former opinion because of their memorable messages. I also agree with the latter one because customers have now expressed their scepticism and distrust over promotion campaigns.
The reason why advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things is that its messages tap into consumers' feelings and experiences. With brochures, leaflets and televised commercials, marketing campaigns have now easily evoked shoppers’ emotions such as excitement, fear or nostalgia, making them aware of the potential benefits or drawbacks if they decide to or not to shop for certain products. Thus, the messages become more memorable, persuasive. When the first Iphone was introduced by Apple Inc., one of the most well-known tech companies worldwide, various viewers across the globe were in awe as this product utilised finger gestures to control the phone, which was never seen before.
I also agree that advertising has become so ubiquitous that it no longer captures consumers’ attention effectively because of their scepticism and distrust. As the world develops quickly in this digital age, many people have become media-savvy and always checked the messages conveyed in ads. Therefore, they are conscious of the exaggerated features in advertisements, which ultimately results in their general suspicion and disbelief. For example, household appliances posters on social media have become gradually unreliable to customers as any shop owners can advertise them, including those who intend to scam.
In short, I agree with both views that advertisements' campaigns on persuading shoppers have thrived productively because of their ability to elicit strong feelings yet buyers might start to ignore them as they are repetitive, while these people gradually show their distrust and scepticism.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"For certain people, they believe" -> "Some individuals believe"
Explanation: "For certain people, they believe" is awkward and redundant. "Some individuals believe" is more concise and maintains a formal tone suitable for academic writing. -
"advertisements have succeeded in urging consumers to purchase products" -> "advertisements have effectively persuaded consumers to purchase products"
Explanation: "Succeeded in urging" is somewhat informal and vague. "Effectively persuaded" is more precise and academically appropriate, emphasizing the successful influence of advertising. -
"ignored due to its familiarity" -> "overlooked due to familiarity"
Explanation: "Ignored due to its familiarity" is slightly informal and could be improved for clarity. "Overlooked due to familiarity" is more direct and maintains a formal tone. -
"memorable messages" -> "persistent messages"
Explanation: "Memorable" can imply a positive connotation, which might not be intended in this context. "Persistent" is neutral and more suitable for describing the ongoing impact of advertising. -
"customers have now expressed their scepticism and distrust" -> "consumers have increasingly expressed their skepticism and distrust"
Explanation: "Customers" is less formal than "consumers," and "increasingly" better captures the ongoing trend of consumer attitudes towards advertising. -
"extremely successful at persuading us to buy things" -> "highly effective in persuading consumers to purchase products"
Explanation: "Extremely successful at persuading us to buy things" is informal and vague. "Highly effective in persuading consumers to purchase products" is more precise and formal. -
"With brochures, leaflets and televised commercials" -> "Through brochures, leaflets, and televised commercials"
Explanation: "With" is less formal and slightly vague in this context. "Through" is more precise and appropriate for describing the medium of advertising. -
"making them aware of the potential benefits or drawbacks if they decide to or not to shop for certain products" -> "raising awareness of potential benefits and drawbacks, whether they choose to purchase or not"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and verbose. The revised version is clearer and more concise, improving readability and formality. -
"the first Iphone" -> "the initial iPhone"
Explanation: "The first" is redundant when referring to a specific product like the iPhone, which is commonly known as the first smartphone. "The initial" is more precise and avoids redundancy. -
"utilised finger gestures to control the phone" -> "utilized finger gestures to control the phone"
Explanation: "Utilised" is correct in British English, but "utilized" is the preferred form in American English, which is more commonly used in academic writing. -
"household appliances posters on social media" -> "advertisements for household appliances on social media"
Explanation: "Posters" is incorrect as it refers to physical posters, not digital advertisements. "Advertisements" is the correct term for online promotions. -
"have become gradually unreliable to customers" -> "have become increasingly unreliable to customers"
Explanation: "Gradually" is less precise and slightly informal. "Increasingly" is more formal and accurately describes the growing unreliability. -
"any shop owners can advertise them" -> "anyone can advertise them"
Explanation: "Any shop owners" is specific and less general. "Anyone" is more inclusive and maintains a formal tone suitable for academic writing. -
"thrived productively" -> "succeeded effectively"
Explanation: "Thrived productively" is an awkward and overly complex phrase. "Succeeded effectively" is straightforward and maintains a formal tone. -
"buyers might start to ignore them" -> "consumers may begin to disregard them"
Explanation: "Buyers" is less formal than "consumers," and "start to ignore" is informal. "Consumers may begin to disregard" is more formal and precise.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the effectiveness of advertising. The first viewpoint is supported with an example of the iPhone’s launch, illustrating how advertising can evoke strong emotions and persuade consumers. The second viewpoint is also acknowledged, with a discussion on consumer skepticism in the digital age. However, while both perspectives are mentioned, the essay could benefit from a more balanced exploration of each view, as the discussion leans slightly more towards the first opinion.
- How to improve: To enhance the balance, the essay could include more examples or elaboration on the second viewpoint. For instance, discussing specific advertising strategies that have failed due to consumer skepticism could provide a more rounded argument.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The author clearly states their position in favor of the effectiveness of advertising in the introduction and reinforces it throughout the essay. However, the transition between agreeing with both views could be clearer. The phrase "I concur with the former opinion because of their memorable messages" is somewhat vague and could be more explicitly linked to the subsequent arguments.
- How to improve: Strengthening the transitions between agreeing with both views and clearly stating the author’s opinion can improve coherence. Using phrases like "While I acknowledge the skepticism surrounding advertising, I believe…" can help clarify the stance and maintain a consistent position.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas effectively, particularly in the first body paragraph, where it discusses how advertisements evoke emotions. The example of the iPhone is relevant and well-explained. However, the second body paragraph could be more developed; while it mentions skepticism, it lacks depth in exploring how this affects consumer behavior and advertising strategies.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the author could provide more detailed examples of how skepticism manifests in consumer behavior. For instance, discussing specific cases where brands have failed to connect with consumers due to overexposure or misleading claims would enhance the argument.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely focused on the topic, discussing both views and providing a personal opinion. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly aligned with the prompt. For example, the phrase "advertisements’ campaigns on persuading shoppers have thrived productively" could be clearer in its connection to the arguments presented.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that each sentence directly relates back to the prompt. Revisiting the prompt’s wording in the conclusion and ensuring that all points made tie back to the central question can help reinforce the essay’s relevance.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. With some adjustments to balance the discussion, clarify transitions, and deepen the support for ideas, it could achieve an even higher score.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively outlines the two contrasting views on advertising and states the writer’s opinion. Each body paragraph discusses one perspective, with the first focusing on the effectiveness of advertising and the second on its ubiquity and the resulting skepticism. However, the transition between the two views could be smoother, as the connection between the paragraphs feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly link the two ideas. For example, after discussing the effectiveness of advertising, you could introduce the second viewpoint with a phrase like, "Conversely, there is a growing sentiment that…" This would create a clearer connection between the two perspectives.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focused on a specific idea. The first paragraph discusses the success of advertising, while the second addresses its commonality and the resulting skepticism. However, the conclusion could be more distinct, as it blends into the last body paragraph without a clear separation.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that the conclusion is clearly separated from the body paragraphs. You might start the conclusion with a phrase like, "In conclusion," or "To summarize," which signals to the reader that you are wrapping up your argument. Additionally, consider breaking up longer paragraphs into smaller ones if they contain multiple ideas.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "while," "therefore," and "for example," which help to connect ideas within and between sentences. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and the essay relies heavily on basic conjunctions. The use of cohesive devices could be more varied to enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more advanced linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in addition," "on the other hand," and "consequently." This will not only improve the flow of ideas but also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately and enhances the clarity of your arguments.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, improving the transitions between ideas, enhancing paragraph separation, and diversifying cohesive devices will help elevate the score in Coherence and Cohesion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "succeeded," "urging," "scepticism," and "ubiquitous." However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat basic and repetitive. For instance, the phrase "advertising has become so ubiquitous" could be enhanced with synonyms or more varied expressions to avoid redundancy. Additionally, the use of "advertisements" and "advertising" appears frequently, which could be diversified with terms like "promotional content" or "marketing strategies."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeating "advertising," they could use "commercials," "promotions," or "advertorials." Engaging with a thesaurus and practicing with vocabulary exercises could also help broaden their lexical resource.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, such as "evoked shoppers’ emotions" and "media-savvy." However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "the messages become more memorable, persuasive," where the phrase could be more effectively expressed as "the messages become more memorable and persuasive." Additionally, the phrase "household appliances posters" is somewhat awkward; a more precise term like "advertisements for household appliances" would be clearer.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on sentence structure and clarity. They can practice rephrasing sentences to avoid awkward constructions and ensure that the intended meaning is conveyed clearly. Reading high-quality essays and noting how precise vocabulary is used could also be beneficial.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally displays good spelling accuracy, with no significant errors noted. Words like "scepticism," "advertisements," and "exaggerated" are spelled correctly, which reflects a solid understanding of English spelling conventions. However, the term "Iphone" should be corrected to "iPhone" to reflect proper capitalization and branding.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, paying attention to proper nouns and brand names. Utilizing spell-check tools and engaging in regular spelling exercises can also help reinforce correct spelling habits.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and a fair range of vocabulary, there are areas for improvement in vocabulary diversity, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences like "The reason why advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things is that its messages tap into consumers’ feelings and experiences." This sentence effectively combines clauses to convey a clear argument. However, there are instances of simpler sentence constructions that could be enhanced. For example, the sentence "I also agree with the latter one because customers have now expressed their scepticism and distrust over promotion campaigns" could be restructured for more complexity.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more compound and complex sentences, as well as varying the sentence beginnings. For instance, instead of starting with "I also agree," the writer could use a transitional phrase like "Furthermore," or "In addition," to create a smoother flow. Additionally, using relative clauses or participial phrases can add complexity and interest to the writing.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors. However, there are some issues with punctuation and sentence clarity. For example, the phrase "making them aware of the potential benefits or drawbacks if they decide to or not to shop for certain products" is somewhat awkward and could benefit from clearer punctuation. The use of commas could help separate ideas for better readability. Additionally, the phrase "which ultimately results in their general suspicion and disbelief" could be clearer if rephrased.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in complex sentences. Practicing sentence rephrasing can also help clarify meaning. For example, the sentence mentioned above could be revised to: "This awareness leads to a general suspicion and disbelief among consumers." Regularly reviewing grammar rules and seeking feedback on sentence structure can also aid in improving overall accuracy.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining punctuation will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
For some individuals, advertisements have effectively persuaded consumers to purchase products, while others believe that advertising has become so common that it is often overlooked due to familiarity. I concur with the former opinion due to the memorable messages that advertisements convey. However, I also agree with the latter perspective, as consumers have increasingly expressed their skepticism and distrust toward promotional campaigns.
The reason why advertising is highly effective in persuading us to buy things is that its messages tap into consumers’ feelings and experiences. Through brochures, leaflets, and televised commercials, marketing campaigns have successfully evoked shoppers’ emotions such as excitement, fear, or nostalgia, raising awareness of potential benefits and drawbacks, whether they choose to purchase or not. Thus, the messages become more memorable and persuasive. For instance, when the initial iPhone was introduced by Apple Inc., one of the most well-known tech companies worldwide, viewers across the globe were in awe as thisproduct utilized finger gestures to control the phone, which had never been seen before.
On the other hand, I agree that advertising has become so ubiquitous that it no longer captures consumers’ attention effectively, largely due to their skepticism and distrust. As the world develops rapidly in this digital age, many people have become media-savvy and critically evaluate the messages conveyed in ads. Consequently, they are more aware of the exaggerated features often presented in advertisements, which ultimately leads to general suspicion and disbelief. For example, advertisements for household appliances on social media have become increasingly unreliable to customers, as anyone can advertise them, including those with dishonest intentions.
In conclusion, I believe that advertising campaigns have succeeded effectively in persuading consumers due to their ability to elicit strong emotions. However, buyers may begin to disregard them as they become repetitive, and as skepticism and distrust grow among the public.
