Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person’s culture and character from their choice of clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there is a growing consensus that individual’s choice of clothing could reveal a lot about not only their character but also background. I mostly agree with this statement as I believe that there is such a significant connection between clothing and personal characteristics.
On the one hand, there are also some limits on determining exactly an individual’s background by overlooking their appearance. An example to illustrate this point is that “ never judge a book from its cover” which is a famous belief, given that if a man was wearing casual clothes on his holiday, we could consider that he is on low eco-social background. However, it is possible that he could be an entrepreneur who seeks to appreciate the comfort.
On the other hand, clothing choices can indeed demonstrate insights of personality and cultural identity of a person. Firstly, an individual’s taste in fashion profoundly reflects their personality. For instance, an extrovert is always attracted by attention-grabbing outfits as well as colorful lifestyle. Secondly, it is widely acknowledged that the presentation obviously delineates working culture. For example, most experienced bosses tend to evaluate the working attitude of employees by checking their outfits. As a matter of fact, famous entrepreneurs believe that an excellent worker will never wear casual clothes at the office. Moreover, it is easy to discover someone’s interests by overlooking their appearance. An example to illustrate this point is that a person who is keen on cartoon will definitely go for colorful garments with cartoon characters are decorated as sophisticated patterns.
To recapitulate, although clothing choice also consist of limits on discovering individual’s features, it still reveals a lot about insight of both personality and character of other people such as interests and working culture.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "Nowadays."
"individual’s choice of clothing" -> "individual’s clothing choices"
Explanation: Using "choices" instead of "choice" pluralizes the noun to reflect the variety of clothing options, aligning with the plural context of the sentence.
"could reveal a lot about not only their character but also background" -> "can reveal significant information about not only their character but also their background"
Explanation: "Can" is more formal than "could," and "significant information" is more precise than "a lot about," enhancing the academic tone.
"I mostly agree with this statement" -> "I largely concur with this assertion"
Explanation: "Concur" is a more formal synonym for "agree," and "assertion" is a more academic term than "statement."
"there is such a significant connection" -> "there exists a significant connection"
Explanation: "There exists" is a more formal and precise way to introduce the existence of a connection in academic writing.
"determining exactly an individual’s background" -> "accurately determining an individual’s background"
Explanation: "Accurately" is more specific and formal than "exactly," and "individual’s" should be hyphenated to adhere to grammatical rules.
"never judge a book from its cover" -> "never judge a book by its cover"
Explanation: The correct idiom is "judge a book by its cover," which is commonly used in English.
"on low eco-social background" -> "from a lower socioeconomic background"
Explanation: "Socioeconomic" is the correct term for describing social and economic status, and "lower" is more precise than "low."
"could be an entrepreneur" -> "might be an entrepreneur"
Explanation: "Might" is more appropriate in speculative contexts, aligning with the uncertainty of the statement.
"insights of personality and cultural identity" -> "insights into personality and cultural identity"
Explanation: "Into" is the correct preposition for indicating the direction of investigation or exploration, making the phrase grammatically correct and more formal.
"an individual’s taste in fashion profoundly reflects their personality" -> "an individual’s taste in fashion profoundly reflects their personality"
Explanation: "Individual’s" should be hyphenated to maintain grammatical correctness.
"an extrovert is always attracted by attention-grabbing outfits" -> "extroverts are often drawn to attention-grabbing outfits"
Explanation: "Extroverts" should be plural to match the generalization, and "drawn to" is a more formal expression than "attracted by."
"working culture" -> "work culture"
Explanation: "Work culture" is a more commonly used and accepted term in academic and professional contexts.
"most experienced bosses tend to evaluate the working attitude of employees" -> "experienced managers often assess the work ethic of employees"
Explanation: "Managers" is more specific than "bosses," and "assess" is more formal than "evaluate," and "work ethic" is a more precise term than "working attitude."
"famous entrepreneurs believe that an excellent worker will never wear casual clothes at the office" -> "renowned entrepreneurs assert that a diligent worker should never wear casual attire in the office"
Explanation: "Renowned" is more formal than "famous," and "assert" is more academic than "believe." "Diligent" is a more precise term than "excellent," and "attire" is more formal than "clothes."
"a person who is keen on cartoon" -> "an individual who is fond of cartoons"
Explanation: "Fond of" is more formal than "keen on," and "individual" is more appropriate than "person" in formal writing. "Cartoons" should be plural to match the generalization.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding whether clothing can reveal aspects of a person’s culture and character. The author agrees with the statement but also acknowledges the limitations of judging based solely on appearance. The introduction clearly states the position, and the body paragraphs provide examples to support both sides. However, the examples could be more directly linked to the argument, as the connection between clothing and character could be elaborated further.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should ensure that each example directly ties back to the main argument. For instance, when discussing the limits of judging character based on clothing, the author could provide a more detailed contrast with examples that strongly support the idea that clothing can reveal character traits. Additionally, explicitly addressing the cultural aspect of the prompt could strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position, stating agreement with the idea that clothing reflects character and culture. However, the transition between acknowledging limitations and supporting the main argument could be smoother. The phrase "I mostly agree" introduces some ambiguity, which might confuse readers about the author’s stance.
- How to improve: The author should strive for more definitive language. Instead of "I mostly agree," a stronger statement like "I firmly believe" would clarify the position. Additionally, reinforcing the main argument in the conclusion with a succinct summary of key points would help solidify the stance throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the link between clothing and personality, and the perception of professionalism based on attire. However, some ideas are not fully developed. For example, the discussion about extroverts and their clothing choices could benefit from more specific examples or elaboration on how these choices manifest in different cultural contexts.
- How to improve: To improve, the author should aim to extend each idea with more detailed explanations and examples. For instance, when discussing how clothing reflects personality, the author could provide specific scenarios or cultural references that illustrate this connection more vividly. Additionally, using more varied vocabulary and sentence structures could enhance the overall quality of the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the relationship between clothing and personal characteristics. However, there are moments where the discussion veers slightly off course, such as the mention of "working culture" without a clear link back to the main argument about character and culture. The phrase "overlooking their appearance" is also somewhat unclear and could be misinterpreted.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central thesis. Clarifying ambiguous phrases and ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next will help keep the essay cohesive. Additionally, a brief outline before writing could assist in organizing thoughts and ensuring relevance to the prompt throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument structure, with an introduction that outlines the writer’s stance, followed by two main body paragraphs that explore opposing views. The first paragraph discusses the limitations of judging character based on clothing, while the second paragraph supports the idea that clothing can reveal personality and cultural identity. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing limitations to supporting arguments lacks a clear linking sentence that would help the reader follow the argument more seamlessly.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases at the beginning of paragraphs and between ideas. For example, phrases like "Conversely" or "On the contrary" can help signal shifts in perspective. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea of that paragraph.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph contains a central idea, supported by examples. However, the paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more cohesive development of ideas. For instance, the second body paragraph introduces multiple points but lacks a clear structure, making it somewhat difficult to follow the progression of thoughts.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by starting each one with a clear topic sentence that states the main point. Follow this with supporting sentences that elaborate on the topic. Consider using a more systematic approach to developing each point, perhaps by dedicating one sentence to each supporting example and ensuring that they relate back to the main idea of the paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," to delineate contrasting views. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some sentences feel disjointed. For instance, the use of "Moreover" and "For example" is effective, but the essay could benefit from additional linking words that clarify relationships between ideas, such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Consequently."
- How to improve: Diversify the use of cohesive devices by incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help clarify the relationships between ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, consider using pronouns and synonyms to avoid repetition and create smoother transitions between sentences.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, enhancing the logical flow, paragraph structure, and use of cohesive devices will elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "individual’s choice of clothing," "cultural identity," and "attention-grabbing outfits." However, there are instances of repetition and a lack of variety in word choice. For example, the phrase "individual’s background" is used multiple times, which could be replaced with synonyms or paraphrased for greater variety.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related phrases. Instead of repeating "individual’s background," you might use "personal history" or "cultural background." Additionally, incorporating more advanced vocabulary related to fashion or psychology could elevate the essay’s lexical sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay contains some precise vocabulary, there are also instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "overlooking their appearance" is misleading; it suggests ignoring someone’s appearance rather than assessing it. Similarly, "eco-social background" is an awkward phrase that may confuse readers. The term "insights of personality" is also somewhat vague and could be expressed more clearly.
- How to improve: Aim for clarity and precision in vocabulary. Replace "overlooking their appearance" with "judging based on their appearance," and consider rephrasing "eco-social background" to "socioeconomic status." Strive for clearer expressions of ideas, such as "aspects of personality" instead of "insights of personality."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, but there are a few errors that detract from the overall quality. For instance, "individual’s" is correctly spelled, but "eco-social" may be better expressed as "socioeconomic," and "delineates" is used correctly, though it may not be the best choice in context.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider proofreading the essay for common spelling errors or using spell-check tools. Additionally, familiarize yourself with commonly misspelled words or phrases in academic writing. Practicing writing and reviewing vocabulary lists can also help reinforce correct spelling.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion. Focus on expanding vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and maintaining spelling accuracy to enhance overall clarity and effectiveness.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" effectively introduces contrasting ideas. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the sentence "An example to illustrate this point is that ‘never judge a book from its cover’" could be rephrased to enhance complexity, such as "A pertinent example of this belief is the saying, ‘never judge a book by its cover,’ which suggests that appearances can be misleading."
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that use subordinate clauses or varying the placement of phrases. Additionally, using a mix of active and passive voice can add variety. For example, instead of saying "an individual’s taste in fashion profoundly reflects their personality," you could say, "the personality of an individual is often profoundly reflected in their taste in fashion."
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a reasonable level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity. For instance, the phrase "individual’s choice of clothing could reveal a lot about not only their character but also background" lacks an article before "background," making it grammatically incorrect. Additionally, punctuation issues arise, such as the missing commas in complex sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences or confusion for the reader. For example, "as well as colorful lifestyle" should be "as well as a colorful lifestyle."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, focus on subject-verb agreement and the use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises can help solidify these concepts. For punctuation, reviewing rules for comma usage in complex sentences and ensuring that clauses are properly separated will improve clarity. Reading more complex texts can also help you internalize correct punctuation usage.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical and punctuation skills will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

**Improved Essay:**

Nowadays, there is a growing consensus that an individual’s clothing choices can reveal significant information about not only their character but also their background. I largely concur with this assertion, as I believe that there exists a significant connection between clothing and personal characteristics.

On the one hand, there are limitations to accurately determining an individual’s background by solely focusing on their appearance. A well-known saying, “never judge a book by its cover,” illustrates this point. For instance, if a man is wearing casual clothes while on holiday, one might assume that he comes from a lower socioeconomic background. However, it is entirely possible that he could be an entrepreneur who values comfort over formal attire.

On the other hand, clothing choices can indeed provide insights into a person’s personality and cultural identity. Firstly, an individual’s taste in fashion profoundly reflects their personality. For example, extroverts are often drawn to attention-grabbing outfits and vibrant lifestyles. Secondly, it is widely acknowledged that presentation delineates work culture. Many experienced managers tend to assess the work ethic of employees by observing their outfits. In fact, renowned entrepreneurs assert that a diligent worker should never wear casual attire in the office. Moreover, it is easy to discover someone’s interests by examining their appearance. For instance, an individual who is fond of cartoons will likely choose colorful garments adorned with cartoon characters or sophisticated patterns.

To recapitulate, although clothing choices do have limitations when it comes to discovering an individual’s features, they still reveal a great deal about insights into both personality and character, including interests and work culture.