some people say that what people do to protect the environment can not make a difference . others say thay individuals can help to protect the environment discuss both views and give your own opinion

some people say that what people do to protect the environment can not make a difference . others say thay individuals can help to protect the environment
discuss both views and give your own opinion

It is often argued that citizens do not impact significantly on protect the environment whilst others disagree and think that individuals might play a crucial role. This essay will look into both sides and of the argument and provide my support to the latter view.

On the one hand, I understand why some people think that environmental quality could not transform by inhabitants regarding global issues, oil spill at the se a, for instance. Since these global issues are beyond the control and ability of the citizens. Instead, the government and should find out the causes and solution to tackle those difficulties due to the requires a huge amount of money and the consent of experts or the president. If those problems are solved by a group of people who have no experience, it would lead to long-term consequences.

However, many disagree and feel that it is possible to transform the nature by protect it gradually. If the global problems which are complex and cannot be addressed, the inhabitants can protect the environment through daily living habits. The good example for this case is that Sai Gon Xanh, a volunteer group with a large number of the youngers engaging in with the purpose of collecting and cleaning up litters in rivers and canals. Futhermore, they have to bathe in polluted water for a long time. They have inspired many other young generations and many such volunteer groups have been established to creat a green environment.

In conclusion, although it cannot be denied that indiviuals cannot address global issuse, I am of the opinion that they can reduce the evironment pollution and enhance the quality by their habits in daily life such as planting trees or using plublic transport.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is often argued that citizens do not impact significantly on protect the environment" -> "It is often argued that citizens do not significantly impact environmental protection"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revised version corrects the grammatical structure and uses a more formal and precise term "environmental protection."
"whilst others disagree and think that individuals might play a crucial role" -> "while others contend that individuals may play a crucial role"
Explanation: Replacing "whilst" with "while" corrects the spelling error, and "contend" is more formal than "disagree," aligning better with academic style.
"This essay will look into both sides and of the argument" -> "This essay will examine both sides of the argument"
Explanation: "Look into" is too informal and vague; "examine" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing.
"could not transform by inhabitants" -> "cannot be transformed by inhabitants"
Explanation: "Could not transform" is grammatically incorrect; "cannot be transformed" is grammatically correct and clearer.
"the government and should find out the causes and solution" -> "the government should identify the causes and solutions"
Explanation: "Find out" is too informal and vague; "identify" is more precise and formal, and "solutions" should be plural to match the context.
"due to the requires a huge amount of money" -> "due to the need for a significant amount of money"
Explanation: "Requires" is incorrectly used as a noun; "need" is the correct verb form, and "significant" is more precise than "huge."
"the inhabitants can protect the environment through daily living habits" -> "inhabitants can protect the environment through daily habits"
Explanation: "Living habits" is redundant; "daily habits" is sufficient and more concise.
"The good example for this case is that Sai Gon Xanh" -> "A notable example is Sai Gon Xanh"
Explanation: "The good example for this case" is awkward and informal; "A notable example" is more concise and formal.
"engaging in with the purpose of collecting and cleaning up litters" -> "engaging in the purpose of collecting and cleaning up litter"
Explanation: "With" is incorrectly used; "in" is the correct preposition, and "litters" should be singular "litter" as it refers to a general activity.
"Futhermore" -> "Furthermore"
Explanation: "Futhermore" is a typographical error; "Furthermore" is the correct spelling.
"have to bathe in polluted water for a long time" -> "must bathe in polluted water for extended periods"
Explanation: "Have to" is informal; "must" is more formal, and "extended periods" is more precise than "a long time."
"They have inspired many other young generations" -> "They have inspired many other young generations"
Explanation: "Young generations" is redundant; "young" is sufficient to describe the generations.
"many such volunteer groups have been established to creat a green environment" -> "many such volunteer groups have been established to create a green environment"
Explanation: "Creat" is a typographical error; "create" is the correct spelling.
"indiviuals cannot address global issuse" -> "individuals cannot address global issues"
Explanation: "Indiviuals" is a typographical error; "individuals" is the correct spelling, and "issuse" should be "issues."
"reduce the evironment pollution" -> "reduce environmental pollution"
Explanation: "Evironment" is a typographical error; "environmental" is the correct term, and "pollution" should be a compound noun.
"enhance the quality by their habits in daily life such as planting trees or using plublic transport" -> "enhance the environment’s quality through daily habits such as planting trees or using public transport"
Explanation: "Enhance the quality" is vague; "enhance the environment’s quality" specifies the subject, and "plublic" is a typographical error; "public" is the correct spelling.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the role of individuals in environmental protection. The first paragraph presents the argument that individual actions are insignificant in the face of global issues, while the second paragraph counters this by discussing how individuals can contribute positively through daily habits. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit discussion of the opposing view, as the argument against individual impact is somewhat underdeveloped. The mention of global issues like oil spills is relevant, but it lacks depth in explaining why individuals might feel powerless.
- How to improve: To enhance the response to all parts of the question, the writer should provide more detailed examples and explanations for both perspectives. For instance, elaborating on why some believe individual actions are ineffective, perhaps by discussing the scale of environmental issues, would create a more balanced view. Additionally, integrating more specific examples of individual actions that have led to positive environmental changes would strengthen the argument for the latter view.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position in favor of individual contributions to environmental protection, particularly in the conclusion. However, the transition between discussing both views and the author’s opinion could be smoother. The phrase "I am of the opinion that…" is a good way to signal the author’s stance, but the overall flow could be improved to reinforce this position throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should consistently link back to their viewpoint after discussing each perspective. Using phrases like "While some argue that…" followed by "I believe that…" can help reinforce the author’s stance. Additionally, summarizing the key points of each argument before stating the author’s opinion can create a more cohesive narrative.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to both views, but the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while the mention of the Sai Gon Xanh volunteer group is a strong point, it lacks further elaboration on its impact or success. The essay also introduces the idea of individuals changing their daily habits but does not provide specific examples or data to support this claim.
- How to improve: To better present and support ideas, the writer should include more detailed examples and evidence. This could involve statistics on the impact of individual actions on the environment or more case studies of successful initiatives. Additionally, expanding on how individual actions can lead to larger societal changes would provide a more robust argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the role of individuals in environmental protection. However, there are moments where the discussion becomes slightly vague or strays from the central argument, particularly in the first paragraph where the focus shifts to government responsibility without clearly linking it back to individual actions.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the prompt. This can be achieved by regularly referencing the question and ensuring that each paragraph contributes to answering it. Additionally, avoiding overly broad statements about government roles can help keep the discussion centered on individual contributions.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, it would benefit from deeper analysis, more specific examples, and improved coherence in presenting the author’s position.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument structure, with an introduction that outlines the two opposing views and a conclusion that summarizes the writer’s stance. However, within the body paragraphs, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the limitations of individual actions to the potential positive impacts of collective efforts is somewhat abrupt. The first body paragraph focuses on the limitations of individual actions without clearly linking to the second paragraph, which discusses the positive contributions individuals can make.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect the ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the limitations in the first paragraph, a sentence like "Despite these challenges, individuals can still contribute positively in other ways" could serve as a bridge to the next point. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strong point. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the argument. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer internal organization. The example of the volunteer group is relevant but is introduced in a somewhat convoluted manner, making it harder for the reader to follow the main point.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. For example, in the second body paragraph, begin with a sentence that states how individual actions can lead to environmental improvements. Follow this with supporting details and examples, ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however" and "furthermore," which help in linking ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing that disrupt the flow. For example, phrases like "the good example for this case is that" could be more fluidly expressed.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "in addition," "on the contrary," or "consequently" to create smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, pay attention to sentence structure to avoid awkward phrasing; for example, instead of "the good example for this case is that," consider "a notable example of this is." This will enhance clarity and coherence throughout the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view. By focusing on improving logical organization, refining paragraph structure, and expanding the use of cohesive devices, the essay can achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "environmental quality," "global issues," and "volunteer group." However, there are instances where vocabulary is repetitive or lacks variation, such as the repeated use of "protect" and "individuals." Additionally, phrases like "transform the nature" are somewhat vague and could benefit from more specific terminology.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly using "protect," alternatives like "conserve," "preserve," or "safeguard" could be employed. Additionally, using more precise phrases like "improve environmental conditions" instead of "transform the nature" would strengthen the argument.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "the government and should find out the causes and solution," which lacks clarity and grammatical correctness. The phrase "the youngers engaging in with the purpose" is also awkward and incorrect, as "youngers" is not a standard term in English.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. For example, "the government should identify the causes and solutions" would be more precise. Additionally, replacing "the youngers" with "young people" or "youth" would enhance clarity and correctness.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "thay" instead of "that," "indiviuals" instead of "individuals," "litters" instead of "litter," and "creat" instead of "create." These errors detract from the overall quality of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should implement proofreading strategies, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools before submission. Additionally, practicing commonly misspelled words and maintaining a list of frequently used vocabulary can help reinforce correct spelling in future essays.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of the topic and attempts to engage with the prompt, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will be essential for achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as the use of complex sentences ("It is often argued that citizens do not impact significantly on protect the environment whilst others disagree and think that individuals might play a crucial role.") and conditional phrases ("If the global problems which are complex and cannot be addressed, the inhabitants can protect the environment through daily living habits."). However, the overall range is limited, and many sentences are either overly simplistic or awkwardly constructed. For instance, phrases like "the government and should find out the causes and solution" lack clarity and fluency.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice using different types of sentences, such as compound and complex sentences, more effectively. Incorporating more varied conjunctions and transitional phrases can help create smoother connections between ideas. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "However," the writer could use phrases like "On the contrary" or "Conversely" to introduce contrasting ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For example, "protect the environment" should be "protecting the environment," and "the government and should find out" is a fragment that lacks coherence. Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as "the good example for this case is that Sai Gon Xanh" which should be "a good example of this case is Sai Gon Xanh." Punctuation errors, such as missing commas, also hinder readability.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on reviewing basic grammar rules, particularly concerning verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on sentence construction can also be beneficial. Furthermore, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors before submission can help catch mistakes that may have been overlooked during writing.

In summary, while the essay presents a relevant discussion on the topic, enhancing the range of grammatical structures and improving accuracy in grammar and punctuation will significantly elevate the overall quality of the writing. Regular practice and attention to detail are key strategies for improvement.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is often argued that citizens do not significantly impact environmental protection, while others disagree and think that individuals might play a crucial role. This essay will look into both sides of the argument and provide my support for the latter view.

On the one hand, I understand why some people think that environmental quality cannot be transformed by inhabitants regarding global issues, such as oil spills at sea, for instance. These global issues are beyond the control and ability of citizens. Instead, the government should identify the causes and solutions to tackle those difficulties due to the need for a significant amount of money and the consent of experts or the president. If those problems are solved by a group of people who have no experience, it could lead to long-term consequences.

However, many disagree and feel that it is possible to transform nature by protecting it gradually. While global problems are complex and cannot be fully addressed, inhabitants can protect the environment through daily habits. A notable example of this is Sai Gon Xanh, a volunteer group with a large number of young people engaging in the purpose of collecting and cleaning up litter in rivers and canals. Furthermore, they must bathe in polluted water for extended periods. They have inspired many other young generations, and many such volunteer groups have been established to create a green environment.

In conclusion, although it cannot be denied that individuals cannot address global issues, I am of the opinion that they can reduce environmental pollution and enhance the environment’s quality through their daily habits, such as planting trees or using public transport.