Some people say the government should give health care the first priorities , some others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayers' money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The prime preference of the authorities is to allocate money for the health services,however,speding for those who pay taxes is thought to be more crucial.From my own perspective,i quite agree with the former
On the one hand, taxpayers should be received a essential care from the government.The chief among these is that people paying taxes have significantly contributed to the municipal well-being,the amount of money that comes from them can be use for variety of purposes education or health systems for instance.However when taxpayers is the most significant arrangement,they may tend to be utilize it to maximize their profit without complying any policy or restrictions.For example, ACB bank which has contributed nearly 5% total taxes has became one of the most terrible corruption in Vietnam due to the excessive care of gorvernment
On the other hand, the distribution of money should be given for health systems.Because if the health of residents is ensured,they will work without having concern about their fitness so that the productivity will increase .However many people may think that other aspects are also important,why they is not the priorities of the authorities.Health is the foundation of all,if inhabitants have illness, they will tend to prior their well-being in stead of anything else,which means that they hard to be productive and contribute to society.Thus health needs to have the most prorities of the government
In conclusion,the distribution of money should be ultilize to not only profit residents who pay taxes but also enhance the healh care systems which need giving the most essential care

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"prime preference" -> "primary priority"
Explanation: "Prime preference" is an awkward collocation. "Primary priority" is a more natural and precise phrase for emphasizing the main focus of the authorities.
"speding" -> "spending"
Explanation: "Speding" is a misspelling of "spending." Correcting this error maintains the formal integrity of the text.
"for those who pay taxes is thought to be more crucial" -> "for taxpayers is considered more crucial"
Explanation: The original phrase lacks clarity and is grammatically incorrect. "For taxpayers is considered more crucial" provides a clearer and grammatically correct expression of the idea.
"From my own perspective, i quite agree with the former" -> "From my perspective, I strongly agree with the former"
Explanation: "Quite" is too informal in this context. Replacing it with "strongly" maintains the author’s emphasis while aligning with a more formal tone.
"On the one hand, taxpayers should be received a essential care from the government." -> "On one hand, taxpayers should receive essential care from the government."
Explanation: The original sentence lacks proper grammar. "Received" should be replaced with "receive" for grammatical accuracy.
"the amount of money that comes from them can be use for variety of purposes" -> "the funds contributed by taxpayers can be used for a variety of purposes"
Explanation: "The amount of money that comes from them" is awkward and lacks precision. "Funds contributed by taxpayers" is clearer and more direct.
"when taxpayers is the most significant arrangement" -> "when taxpayers are the primary stakeholders"
Explanation: "Taxpayers is" is grammatically incorrect; it should be "taxpayers are." "Arrangement" is vague and not the most appropriate term here. "Primary stakeholders" conveys the idea more precisely.
"they may tend to be utilize it" -> "they may tend to utilize it"
Explanation: "Utilize" is unnecessarily formal; "use" is simpler and more commonly used in this context.
"without complying any policy or restrictions" -> "without adhering to any policies or regulations"
Explanation: "Complying any policy" is grammatically incorrect. "Adhering to any policies or regulations" is a more precise and formal expression.
"the excessive care of gorvernment" -> "excessive government intervention"
Explanation: "Excessive care of government" is unclear and awkward. "Excessive government intervention" better conveys the idea of unwanted involvement.
"the distribution of money should be given for health systems" -> "priority should be given to funding healthcare systems"
Explanation: "Distribution of money should be given for health systems" is awkward and lacks clarity. "Priority should be given to funding healthcare systems" is clearer and more concise.
"Because if the health of residents is ensured,they will work without having concern about their fitness so that the productivity will increase." -> "Ensuring residents’ health allows them to work without concern for their well-being, thereby increasing productivity."
Explanation: The original sentence is convoluted. Simplifying and restructuring it improves readability while maintaining the intended meaning.
"However many people may think that other aspects are also important,why they is not the priorities of the authorities." -> "However, many people may argue that other aspects are equally important, yet they are not prioritized by the authorities."
Explanation: The original sentence is unclear and contains grammatical errors. The suggested alternative clarifies the argument and corrects the grammar.
"if inhabitants have illness, they will tend to prior their well-being in stead of anything else" -> "If inhabitants are ill, they prioritize their well-being over everything else."
Explanation: The original sentence is awkwardly phrased. Simplifying it enhances clarity and readability.
"which means that they hard to be productive and contribute to society" -> "resulting in decreased productivity and contribution to society"
Explanation: "They hard to be productive" is grammatically incorrect. Replacing it with "resulting in decreased productivity" clarifies the meaning and improves accuracy.
"Thus health needs to have the most prorities of the government" -> "Therefore, health should be the government’s foremost priority."
Explanation: "The most prorities" is grammatically incorrect. "Foremost priority" is a more precise and idiomatic phrase.
"the distribution of money should be ultilize" -> "the allocation of funds should be utilized"
Explanation: "Utilize" is a bit formal and awkward. "Allocation of funds" and "utilized" provide a clearer and more concise expression of the idea.
"not only profit residents who pay taxes" -> "benefit not only taxpayers"
Explanation: "Profit residents" is not the appropriate phrase here. "Benefit not only taxpayers" conveys the intended meaning more accurately.
"enhance the healh care systems" -> "enhance the healthcare systems"
Explanation: "Healh" is misspelled. Correcting it to "healthcare" ensures accuracy in the text.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both perspectives outlined in the prompt. It discusses the idea that some argue for prioritizing healthcare while others believe there are alternative priorities for taxpayer money. However, the discussion lacks depth and clarity. While it acknowledges both views, it does not thoroughly analyze them or provide sufficient evidence to support the arguments.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the essay should provide more detailed analysis and examples for both perspectives. It could delve into the reasons why some prioritize healthcare and why others might argue for alternative priorities. Additionally, providing specific evidence or examples to illustrate each viewpoint would strengthen the argumentation.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent position in favor of allocating money for healthcare. This stance is clearly expressed throughout the essay, with the writer stating their agreement with prioritizing health services.
- How to improve: While clarity is commendable, a more nuanced approach could further strengthen the argument. Acknowledging potential counterarguments or addressing the complexities of balancing healthcare with other priorities would demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks in-depth development and support. It discusses the importance of taxpayer-funded healthcare and the impact on productivity but lacks elaboration and supporting evidence. Additionally, some ideas are introduced without sufficient explanation, such as the example of ACB bank.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should extend its ideas with more detailed explanations, examples, and evidence. Providing statistics, studies, or real-world examples to support arguments would enhance the credibility and persuasiveness of the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the allocation of government funds for healthcare versus other priorities. However, there are moments of ambiguity and lack of focus, such as the brief mention of ACB bank without clear relevance to the main argument.
- How to improve: To stay more focused, the essay should ensure that all points directly contribute to the central argument and avoid tangential or irrelevant examples. Clear transitions between ideas can also help maintain coherence and relevance throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position, there is room for improvement in providing more thorough analysis, extending ideas with supporting evidence, and staying focused on the topic. By refining these aspects, the essay could achieve a higher band score for task response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to organize information logically but falls short in coherence. There are instances where ideas are presented without clear transitions or connections to the main argument. For example, the shift from discussing taxpayers’ contributions to corruption in the ACB bank lacks a smooth transition, making the progression of ideas somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph follows a clear structure with a topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence. Additionally, use transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly and guide the reader through the essay’s argumentation.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs to some extent, but the structure and effectiveness could be improved. Paragraphs should ideally focus on a single main idea or aspect of the argument, but some paragraphs in this essay cover multiple ideas, leading to confusion and lack of coherence.
- How to improve: Aim for clearer paragraph organization by focusing each paragraph on one specific aspect of the argument. For instance, one paragraph could discuss the importance of taxpayers’ contributions, while another paragraph could focus on the significance of investing in healthcare systems. This approach would help maintain coherence and make the essay easier to follow.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, to connect ideas. However, the variety and effectiveness of these cohesive devices are limited. There is a reliance on basic transitional phrases like "on the one hand" and "on the other hand," which, while helpful, are overused and could be supplemented with a broader range of cohesive devices.
- How to improve: Expand the range of cohesive devices used throughout the essay to include a variety of transitional words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "conversely," "in addition," and "therefore." This will not only improve coherence but also add depth to the argumentation and make the essay more engaging for the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, incorporating terms such as "allocate," "crucial," "complying," "priorities," "distribution," "foundation," and "enhance." However, there are instances of repetition and limited variety in vocabulary usage, such as the repetitive use of "taxpayers" and "priorities." Additionally, some phrases lack precision and clarity, impacting the overall lexical resource.
- How to improve: To improve the lexical resource, strive for more diverse vocabulary to express ideas effectively. Use synonyms and varied expressions to avoid repetition. Consider incorporating specific terminology related to government policies, healthcare systems, and taxation to enrich the vocabulary and demonstrate a higher level of lexical resource.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays imprecise vocabulary usage in several instances. For example, the phrase "speding for those who pay taxes" contains a spelling error ("speding") and lacks precision ("spending for taxpayers" would be more precise). Additionally, phrases like "the distribution of money should be given for health systems" could be refined for clarity and precision ("allocated to healthcare systems" would be more precise).
- How to improve: Enhance precision by choosing words that accurately convey intended meanings. Proofread carefully to correct spelling errors and ensure clarity. Use terminology specific to the context, avoiding ambiguous or vague expressions. Consider the connotations of words to select the most suitable vocabulary for conveying ideas effectively.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "speding" instead of "spending," "gorvernment" instead of "government," "ultilize" instead of "utilize," and "healh" instead of "health." These errors detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: Improve spelling accuracy by proofreading carefully and utilizing spell-checking tools. Pay attention to common spelling patterns and irregularities in English words. Practice spelling words frequently encountered in academic writing, particularly those related to the essay topic. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or instructors to identify and correct spelling errors effectively.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. There is a mix of simple and complex sentences, though complex structures could be more varied and sophisticated. For instance, it includes basic conditional sentences ("if…then"), simple compound sentences ("On the one hand…However"), and some attempt at complex structures ("Because if…they will…so that…"). While these structures are adequate, they lack consistent variety and sophistication, which limits the range demonstrated.
- How to improve: To improve, incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures such as relative clauses, passive voice constructions, and more nuanced conditional sentences. For example, instead of basic conditionals like "if…then," try using more intricate conditional forms like third conditionals ("had…would have") or mixed conditionals ("if…would have…"). This will enhance clarity and coherence while demonstrating greater grammatical range and complexity.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ("taxpayers should be received"), article usage ("a essential care"), verb tense consistency ("they hard to be productive"), and punctuation errors such as missing commas and incorrect sentence structures. For instance, the sentence "when taxpayers is the most significant arrangement,they may tend to be utilize it" lacks subject-verb agreement and has a punctuation issue.
- How to improve: Focus on mastering basic grammatical structures such as correct subject-verb agreement, appropriate use of articles, and consistent verb tense usage. Review and practice punctuation rules, particularly commas for clarity and sentence structure correctness. Use proofreading techniques to identify and correct these errors before submitting the final draft. Additionally, seek feedback on specific grammar points to target areas of improvement effectively.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an attempt to address the prompt with some clarity of argument, improvements in both grammatical range and accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score. Continued practice with varied sentence structures and diligent attention to grammar and punctuation rules will enhance the overall quality and coherence of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The primary priority for the government is often seen as allocating funds for healthcare services. However, for taxpayers, their spending is considered more crucial. From my perspective, I strongly agree with the former.

On one hand, taxpayers should receive essential care from the government. The main reason is that people who pay taxes significantly contribute to the well-being of the community. The funds contributed by taxpayers can be used for a variety of purposes, such as education or healthcare systems. However, when taxpayers are the primary stakeholders, they may tend to utilize it for personal gain without adhering to any policies or regulations. For instance, ACB bank, which has contributed nearly 5% of the total taxes, has become one of the most terrible corruption cases in Vietnam due to excessive government intervention.

On the other hand, priority should be given to funding healthcare systems. Ensuring residents’ health allows them to work without concern for their well-being, thereby increasing productivity. However, many people may argue that other aspects are equally important, yet they are not prioritized by the authorities. If inhabitants are ill, they prioritize their well-being over everything else, resulting in decreased productivity and contribution to society. Therefore, health should be the government’s foremost priority.

In conclusion, the allocation of funds should be utilized to benefit not only taxpayers but also enhance healthcare systems, which require the most essential care.

Some people say the government should give health care the first priorities , some others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayers’ money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.