Some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that nations are able to make a self-production in all food which being consumped by citizens and make a restriction for import food. While I suppose that it is advanatage for nations, I beleive that it is not a best way.
On the one hand, there are some reason why to prove that self-production food bring benefit for residents. When residents consume more local foods which produced by fishermen and farmer than foreign’s food, the argicultural sector will be improved and the dropping in unemployment rates could be witnessed. Furthermore, self-sufficient in food is also the way controlling the quality of food to make it into safety products, restrict the dependent on imported goods. Not only so, this is a useful way which support government to decrease the expenditure in money for its and build up the long-term policy for against the any risks about food crisis.
On the other hand, I side with those who beleive that the increasing imported foods bring advantages for cooperation and citizens’s demand. In fact, the apperance of foreign foods rise the experiences of them in foods, and they are able to choose a wide range of foods, tastle it – foods which no produce in their country. To illustrates, selling sushi is applied in some public supermarket in VN, to aims at our market as well as citizens, meet the market because of the distintion in climatic and geographical condition. Another point to consider is that, expansion in moving foreign products into one nations is the way contributing trading copperation between government. In the absence of limit imported foods, the multi-national relationship would be dropped, infuence to resident in commerce products. This is an obviously situation for importing foods between VN and China. The export output reach the million of billion dollar in recent year, and in the context of banning outside product, this value can be falled down, and the trader will be impacted firstly, make a some seriously result, even in the glance of other sectors. So, the limit in imported foods do not beneficial.
In conclusions, imported foods are essential factor, as a sector which contribute to commerce of most of nations. I beleive that mixing self-production and imported source of others will useful solution, balance benefit between local people and economy development.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"nations are able to make a self-production in all food which being consumped by citizens and make a restriction for import food" -> "nations are capable of producing all food consumed domestically and imposing restrictions on imported food"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and grammatically incorrect. The suggested revision clarifies the meaning and adheres to formal academic language standards.
"I suppose that it is advanatage" -> "I believe that it is advantageous"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error ("advantage" to "advantageous") and replaces "suppose" with "believe" for a more assertive and formal tone.
"I beleive" -> "I believe"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error ("beleive" to "believe").
"not a best way" -> "not the best approach"
Explanation: "Not a best way" is grammatically incorrect. "Not the best approach" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"there are some reason why to prove" -> "there are several reasons why"
Explanation: Simplifies and corrects the awkward phrasing for clarity and formality.
"argicultural sector" -> "agricultural sector"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error ("argicultural" to "agricultural").
"the dropping in unemployment rates could be witnessed" -> "a reduction in unemployment rates could be observed"
Explanation: "The dropping" is not a standard phrase; "a reduction" is more precise and formal.
"self-sufficient in food is also the way controlling" -> "self-sufficiency in food also enables control"
Explanation: "Self-sufficient in food is also the way controlling" is awkward and unclear. The revision clarifies the meaning and improves formality.
"make it into safety products" -> "ensure food safety"
Explanation: "Make it into safety products" is unclear and informal. "Ensure food safety" is a standard phrase in formal writing.
"its and build up the long-term policy" -> "it and build a long-term policy"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error ("its" to "it") and simplifies the phrase for clarity and formality.
"the increasing imported foods" -> "the increased importation of foods"
Explanation: "The increasing imported foods" is grammatically incorrect. "The increased importation of foods" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"tastle it – foods which no produce in their country" -> "taste it – foods not produced in their country"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error ("tastle" to "taste") and clarifies the meaning.
"selling sushi is applied in some public supermarket" -> "sushi is sold in some public supermarkets"
Explanation: "Selling sushi is applied in some public supermarket" is awkward and incorrect. "Sushi is sold in some public supermarkets" is grammatically correct and clearer.
"to aims at our market as well as citizens" -> "to target our market and citizens"
Explanation: "To aims at" is grammatically incorrect. "To target" is the correct verb form for this context.
"distinction in climatic and geographical condition" -> "differences in climatic and geographical conditions"
Explanation: "Distinction" is not the correct term here; "differences" is more appropriate. Also, "condition" should be plural to match the context.
"infuence to resident in commerce products" -> "influence on residents in commercial products"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error ("infuence" to "influence") and clarifies the meaning by specifying "residents" and "commercial products."
"the limit in imported foods do not beneficial" -> "the limitation on imported foods is not beneficial"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical structure and clarifies the meaning by specifying "limitation" and "is not beneficial."
"I beleive" -> "I believe"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error ("beleive" to "believe").
"mixing self-production and imported source of others" -> "combining self-production with imports from other sources"
Explanation: "Mixing self-production and imported source of others" is awkward and unclear. The suggested revision clarifies and formalizes the expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages of self-production of food and the benefits of importing food. The author presents a balanced view, acknowledging that while self-sufficiency has its merits, reliance on imports also plays a crucial role in a nation’s economy. However, the response could be more explicit in stating the extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement. Phrases like "I suppose that it is an advantage for nations" and "I believe that it is not the best way" indicate a lack of clarity regarding the author’s position.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should clearly state their position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. A more definitive statement, such as "I partially agree with the notion that countries should strive for self-sufficiency," would clarify the stance. Additionally, the author could explicitly address the extent of agreement or disagreement in each paragraph to strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that acknowledges both sides of the argument but lacks consistency in expressing this position. The initial statement suggests a belief in the benefits of self-production, yet the subsequent arguments for imports can create confusion about the author’s true stance. For instance, the phrase "I side with those who believe that the increasing imported foods bring advantages" suggests a shift in position that could confuse readers.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the author should use transitional phrases that reinforce their stance throughout the essay. For example, they could use phrases like "While I recognize the benefits of self-production, I firmly believe that…" to signal their perspective clearly. Consistently linking back to their main argument would help maintain clarity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the benefits of local food production and the advantages of importing food, but these ideas are not always well-supported. For example, the argument about local food improving the agricultural sector is valid, but it lacks specific examples or data to strengthen the claim. Similarly, the discussion about the benefits of imported foods could be expanded with more concrete examples or statistics.
- How to improve: To improve the development and support of ideas, the author should include specific examples, data, or case studies that illustrate their points. For instance, when discussing the benefits of imports, citing specific foreign products that have positively impacted the local market would provide stronger support. Additionally, expanding on each point with more detailed explanations would enhance the overall argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt about food production and imports. However, there are moments where the focus drifts, particularly in the latter half of the essay, where the discussion becomes somewhat convoluted. For example, the mention of "multi-national relationships" and "trading cooperation" could be more directly tied back to the main argument about food production versus imports.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the central argument of the essay. They could achieve this by summarizing how each point contributes to the overall discussion of self-sufficiency versus imports. Additionally, creating a clear outline before writing could help keep the essay structured and on topic.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, it can be improved by clarifying the author’s position, providing more detailed support for ideas, and ensuring that all points remain tightly focused on the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The first paragraph discusses the benefits of self-production, while the second highlights the advantages of imported food. This logical organization allows the reader to follow the writer’s argument. However, some points within paragraphs could be better sequenced. For instance, the mention of unemployment rates in the first paragraph could be more effectively linked to the subsequent discussion about quality control and government expenditure.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, ensure that each supporting point logically follows from the previous one. For example, after discussing the benefits of local food consumption, explicitly connect how this leads to improved agricultural sectors before introducing the point about government expenditure.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. However, the transitions between ideas within paragraphs can be abrupt, which may confuse the reader. For instance, the transition from discussing local food benefits to the issue of unemployment could be smoother.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting sentences are cohesively linked to this idea. Use transition phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Conversely" to guide the reader through the argument. This will help maintain clarity and coherence throughout the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which help to delineate contrasting viewpoints. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited and at times repetitive. For example, the phrase "self-production food" is used multiple times without variation, which can detract from the overall fluency of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "self-production food," alternate with terms like "locally produced food" or "domestic agriculture." Additionally, use more complex cohesive devices, such as "This not only… but also…" or "In contrast to…" to enhance the sophistication of your writing.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, there is room for improvement in the organization of ideas, the clarity of paragraph transitions, and the variety of cohesive devices used. By addressing these areas, the essay could achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use varied expressions. Words like "self-production," "agricultural sector," and "self-sufficient" indicate an effort to employ topic-specific language. However, the vocabulary is often repetitive and lacks sophistication. For instance, the phrase "imported foods" is used multiple times without variation, which can detract from the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "imported foods," alternatives like "foreign produce," "imported goods," or "international food products" could be utilized. Additionally, exploring more advanced vocabulary related to economics and agriculture would enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that hinder clarity. For example, the phrase "self-production in all food which being consumed" is awkward and unclear. The term "advanatage" is a misspelling of "advantage," and phrases like "the way controlling the quality of food to make it into safety products" are convoluted and imprecise.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. For instance, instead of "self-production in all food," a clearer expression would be "self-sufficiency in food production." Additionally, proofreading for spelling errors and ensuring that phrases are grammatically correct will improve precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains multiple spelling errors, such as "advanatage," "beleive," "apperance," "tastle," "distintion," "copperation," "infuence," "falled," and "beneficial." These errors can distract the reader and undermine the writer’s credibility.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should adopt a systematic approach to proofreading. This could involve reading the essay aloud to catch errors, using spell-check tools, or maintaining a list of commonly misspelled words for reference. Regular practice with vocabulary exercises can also help reinforce correct spelling.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and makes relevant points, improving vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will significantly enhance the overall quality of the writing. Focusing on these areas will help the writer achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple and compound sentences. For instance, phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" indicate an attempt to structure arguments clearly. However, there is a noticeable lack of complex sentences, which are essential for a higher band score. Many sentences are either overly simplistic or awkwardly constructed, such as "self-production in all food which being consumped by citizens." This limits the overall effectiveness and sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "self-production food bring benefit for residents," the writer could say, "Self-produced food can bring significant benefits to residents, particularly when it comes to supporting local economies." Practicing the use of relative clauses, conditional sentences, and varied sentence openings can also help diversify sentence structures.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For example, phrases like "which being consumped" should be corrected to "that is consumed." There are also misspellings such as "advanatge," "beleive," and "tastle," which indicate a lack of attention to detail. Additionally, punctuation errors, such as missing commas in complex sentences, hinder readability. For instance, "the argicultural sector will be improved and the dropping in unemployment rates could be witnessed" could benefit from a comma before "and" to separate the two independent clauses.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading their work for common errors, particularly with verb forms and spelling. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can also be beneficial. Furthermore, practicing punctuation rules, especially for complex sentences, will enhance clarity. For example, breaking down long sentences into shorter, clearer ones can help avoid confusion.

Overall, while the essay presents a relevant argument, significant improvements in grammatical range and accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on sentence variety and meticulous proofreading will greatly enhance the quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some people argue that nations should strive to produce all the food consumed by their citizens and impose restrictions on imported food. While I believe that there are advantages to this approach, I think it is not the best way forward.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why self-production of food can benefit residents. When citizens consume more local foods produced by farmers and fishermen rather than relying on foreign imports, the agricultural sector can improve, and a reduction in unemployment rates could be observed. Furthermore, self-sufficiency in food also enables control over the quality of food, ensuring food safety and reducing dependence on imported goods. Additionally, this strategy can help the government decrease expenditures related to food imports and build a long-term policy to mitigate risks associated with potential food crises.

On the other hand, I side with those who believe that the increased importation of foods brings advantages for both businesses and citizens. In fact, the availability of foreign foods enhances residents’ culinary experiences, allowing them to choose from a wider range of options and taste foods not produced in their country. For instance, sushi is sold in some public supermarkets in Vietnam, targeting our market and catering to citizens’ preferences due to differences in climatic and geographical conditions. Another point to consider is that expanding the importation of foreign products contributes to trade cooperation between nations. Without limits on imported foods, international relationships could suffer, negatively influencing residents’ access to diverse commercial products. A clear example of this is the trade between Vietnam and China, where export output has reached billions of dollars in recent years. If restrictions were placed on outside products, this value could significantly decline, impacting traders first and leading to serious consequences for other sectors as well. Therefore, the limitation on imported foods is not beneficial.

In conclusion, imported foods are an essential factor in the commerce of most nations. I believe that combining self-production with imports from other sources will be a useful solution, balancing the benefits for local people and economic development.