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Some people think governments should spend money in looking for life on other planets, while others think that there are many unsolved problems on earth. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think governments should spend money in looking for life on other planets, while others think that there are many unsolved problems on earth. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people consider government should invest money on exploring space life, while others argue that there are some urgent issues on earth, which it should be first priority to address with. However from my standpoint, this is unnecessary to defunding space exploration in order to deal with unsolved problems. This essay will discuss both these point and argue in favor latter.

On the one hand, serious issues, for instance, global warming, climate change and global food crisis are happening in our planet. It is vital to governments from over the world should work together and take an action to address these issues.

On the other hand, investing on space exploration may indirectly give an impact to problems on earth. As we developing new technology the researchers may make an unexpected discoveries that can help the whole world. In addition, there is great chance to discover other substance which may be new energy source while exploring space and looking for life on other planet.

In my opinion, allocate reasonable amount of budget on looking for life is not a waste. It has potential to help solving the problems on Earth. Moreover, it demands many others industries to involve in, such as fuels technology and space ship development. Therefore, it creates a tremendous business opportunities which gives the economic positive impact as well.

In conclusion, there is no denying that there are many crucial issues need to be fixed. However, giving up space exploration for dealing with those problems is unworthy. Don't put our eggs in one basket. I believe we can do more than one important thing at a time and invest on searching life on other planets is one of solution for addressing the issues on Earth.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "Some people consider government should invest money on exploring space life" -> "Some people argue that governments should invest money in space exploration"
    Explanation: The original phrase lacks clarity and uses incorrect grammar. "Exploring space life" is not a standard term, and "government should" should be followed by a verb (such as "invest").

  2. "which it should be first priority to address with" -> "which should be the first priority to address"
    Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed. Simplifying it and removing unnecessary words improves clarity and formality.

  3. "However from my standpoint" -> "However, from my perspective"
    Explanation: "Standpoint" is less formal compared to "perspective," and the comma after "however" is needed to introduce a contrasting viewpoint.

  4. "this is unnecessary to defunding space exploration" -> "it is unnecessary to defund space exploration"
    Explanation: "This is unnecessary to defunding" is grammatically incorrect. Replacing "this" with "it" and restructuring the sentence improves clarity and correctness.

  5. "this essay will discuss both these point and argue in favor latter" -> "this essay will discuss both viewpoints and argue in favor of the latter"
    Explanation: "Point" should be plural to match "both," and "latter" should be preceded by "the" to clarify which viewpoint is being favored.

  6. "On the one hand, serious issues, for instance, global warming" -> "On one hand, serious issues such as global warming"
    Explanation: The phrase "for instance" is unnecessary and breaks the flow of the sentence. Removing it maintains clarity and formality.

  7. "It is vital to governments from over the world should work together" -> "It is vital for governments worldwide to work together"
    Explanation: "From over the world" is awkward and informal. Using "worldwide" simplifies the expression and maintains formality.

  8. "As we developing new technology" -> "As we develop new technology"
    Explanation: "Developing" should be in the present tense to match the verb "as" and improve grammatical correctness.

  9. "the researchers may make an unexpected discoveries" -> "researchers may make unexpected discoveries"
    Explanation: "An" should be removed before "unexpected discoveries" for correct grammar, and "the" should be removed before "researchers" to make the sentence more general.

  10. "which may be new energy source while exploring space and looking for life on other planet" -> "which may serve as new energy sources while exploring space and searching for life on other planets"
    Explanation: "New energy source" should be pluralized to match "may be," and "other planet" should be pluralized to match "looking for life on." Additionally, "while" can be replaced with "while also" for clarity.

  11. "allocate reasonable amount of budget" -> "allocate a reasonable budget"
    Explanation: "Amount of" is redundant when used with "budget." Simplifying the phrase improves conciseness and readability.

  12. "It has potential to help solving the problems on Earth" -> "It has the potential to help solve the problems on Earth"
    Explanation: "Help solving" should be changed to "help solve" for correct grammar, and "the" should be added before "problems" for specificity.

  13. "Moreover, it demands many others industries to involve in" -> "Moreover, it requires involvement from many other industries"
    Explanation: "Demands many others industries to involve in" is awkward and ungrammatical. Restructuring the sentence improves clarity and formality.

  14. "Therefore, it creates a tremendous business opportunities" -> "Therefore, it creates tremendous business opportunities"
    Explanation: "A" should be removed before "tremendous" to make the phrase grammatically correct.

  15. "Don’t put our eggs in one basket" -> "It is unwise to put all our eggs in one basket"
    Explanation: The original phrase is informal and idiomatic. Replacing it with a more formal expression maintains the essay’s academic tone.

  16. "I believe we can do more than one important thing at a time" -> "I believe it is possible to address multiple important matters concurrently"
    Explanation: The original phrase is somewhat colloquial. Using a more formal expression improves the academic tone of the sentence.

  17. "searching life on other planets is one of solution" -> "searching for life on other planets is one solution"
    Explanation: "One of solution" is grammatically incorrect. "One solution" is more precise and grammatically correct.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both sides of the argument, discussing the importance of addressing urgent problems on Earth while also acknowledging the potential benefits of investing in space exploration. It provides a clear opinion, arguing against defunding space exploration to address Earth’s issues.
    • How to improve: While the essay covers both viewpoints, some areas could be further elaborated. For example, it could delve deeper into the specific "unsolved problems" on Earth mentioned in the prompt and how they compare to the potential benefits of space exploration.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout, asserting that space exploration should not be sacrificed to address Earth’s issues. This position is consistently reinforced in the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
    • How to improve: To enhance clarity, ensure that each paragraph reinforces the central argument and avoids any ambiguity regarding the stance on the issue.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas effectively, discussing the urgency of addressing Earth’s problems and the potential benefits of space exploration. However, some points lack sufficient elaboration and examples to fully support the argument.
    • How to improve: Provide more specific examples and evidence to bolster each point, such as data on the potential technological advancements resulting from space exploration or specific instances where space exploration has contributed to addressing Earth’s challenges.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic, discussing both viewpoints and maintaining relevance to the prompt. However, there are a few instances where the connection between space exploration and addressing Earth’s issues could be further clarified.
    • How to improve: Ensure that each point made directly relates to either the importance of addressing Earth’s problems or the potential benefits of space exploration, avoiding tangents or vague statements that detract from the coherence of the argument.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt, presents a clear position, and provides reasonable support for its argument. To improve, it could strengthen its analysis of the specific problems on Earth and further develop its supporting examples. Additionally, maintaining focus on the central argument throughout the essay will enhance coherence and clarity.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally follows a logical organization, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, there are some areas where the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between discussing problems on Earth and the benefits of space exploration could be smoother to enhance coherence.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider providing a clearer roadmap of the essay’s structure in the introduction. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next by using transitional phrases or sentences.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into paragraphs, but there are instances where the structure and coherence within paragraphs could be strengthened. For example, the paragraph discussing problems on Earth could be more focused, with each sentence contributing directly to the main point.
    • How to improve: Aim for topic sentences that clearly introduce the main idea of each paragraph, followed by supporting details that relate directly to that main idea. Additionally, ensure that paragraphs are cohesive, with smooth transitions between sentences.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as transition words like "however" and "moreover," to connect ideas. However, there is room for improvement in the variety and effectiveness of cohesive devices used throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: Increase the use of cohesive devices such as pronouns (e.g., "this," "these"), conjunctions (e.g., "although," "while"), and parallel structure to create stronger connections between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, consider using cohesive devices more strategically to guide the reader through the essay’s argument.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic level of coherence and cohesion, there are areas where improvements could be made to enhance the logical organization, paragraph structure, and use of cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested strategies, the essay could achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately improving its effectiveness in conveying ideas to the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary with some variety in word choice. For instance, terms like "global warming," "climate change," "urgent issues," "allocate," "industries," and "crucial issues" are used appropriately to discuss the topic. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more diverse and precise, lacking depth in exploration of the topic.
    • How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more specific and varied vocabulary related to space exploration and earthly problems. For example, instead of repeatedly using the phrase "problems on Earth," you could employ more precise terms such as "environmental degradation," "resource depletion," or "socioeconomic challenges." Additionally, integrating domain-specific terminology related to space exploration, such as "extraterrestrial research," "cosmic exploration," or "interplanetary missions," would enrich the vocabulary and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: While the essay generally communicates the ideas effectively, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For example, the phrase "defunding space exploration" could be more accurately expressed as "reallocating funds from space exploration." Additionally, there is a lack of precision in expressions like "many crucial issues need to be fixed," which could be replaced with more specific terms like "pressing challenges require resolution."
    • How to improve: To improve precision in vocabulary usage, strive to select words and phrases that precisely convey the intended meaning. Consider utilizing synonyms or more specific terms to avoid repetition and enhance clarity. Furthermore, engage in thorough proofreading to identify and replace vague or ambiguous language with precise alternatives, thereby refining the overall expression of ideas.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates adequate spelling accuracy, with minor errors such as "standpoint" (stand point), "governments from over the world" (governments from all over the world), and "latter" (latter should be "latter point"). While these errors do not significantly detract from the overall coherence of the essay, enhancing spelling accuracy can contribute to a more polished presentation.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spelling and grammar checkers during the writing process to identify and correct errors. Additionally, allocate sufficient time for proofreading to meticulously review the essay for spelling mistakes, paying attention to commonly misspelled words and ensuring consistency in spelling throughout the text. Engaging in regular reading and vocabulary expansion activities can also reinforce spelling proficiency over time.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. It predominantly employs simple and compound sentences with occasional complex structures. For instance, simple sentences such as "Some people consider government should invest money on exploring space life" and compound sentences like "As we developing new technology the researchers may make an unexpected discoveries that can help the whole world" are prevalent. There is room for improvement in incorporating more varied structures such as complex sentences with dependent clauses and varied sentence beginnings to enhance coherence and sophistication.
    • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and complexity of the essay, consider integrating a broader variety of sentence structures. Incorporate complex sentences with dependent clauses to convey nuanced ideas and improve coherence. Vary sentence beginnings to create stylistic diversity and maintain reader engagement. For example, instead of starting each paragraph with a similar structure, experiment with introductory phrases or subordinate clauses.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally accurate use of grammar and punctuation, with minor errors present. For instance, there are instances of subject-verb agreement issues, such as "the researchers may make an unexpected discoveries" (should be "the researchers may make unexpected discoveries"). Additionally, there are punctuation errors, like missing commas after introductory phrases ("For instance, global warming, climate change and global food crisis are happening in our planet."). However, these errors do not significantly impede understanding and can be easily corrected with attention to detail.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure consistency throughout the essay. Proofread carefully for punctuation errors, particularly after introductory phrases and within complex sentences. Consider using grammar checkers or seeking feedback from peers to identify and correct errors effectively. Additionally, practice writing complex sentences to strengthen grammatical skills and enhance overall clarity.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some people argue that governments should invest money in space exploration, while others believe that addressing urgent issues on Earth should take precedence. However, from my perspective, it is unnecessary to defund space exploration in order to address unsolved problems. This essay will discuss both viewpoints and argue in favor of the latter.

On one hand, serious issues such as global warming, climate change, and the global food crisis are occurring on our planet. It is vital for governments worldwide to work together and take action to address these issues.

On the other hand, investing in space exploration may indirectly impact problems on Earth. As we develop new technology, researchers may make unexpected discoveries that can benefit the entire world. Additionally, there is a great chance to discover other substances that may serve as new energy sources while exploring space and searching for life on other planets.

In my opinion, allocating a reasonable budget to looking for life is not a waste. It has the potential to help solve the problems on Earth. Moreover, it requires involvement from many other industries, such as fuel technology and spaceship development. Therefore, it creates tremendous business opportunities, which have a positive economic impact as well.

In conclusion, there is no denying that there are many crucial issues that need to be addressed. However, giving up space exploration to deal with those problems is unwise. I believe it is possible to address multiple important matters concurrently. Searching for life on other planets is one solution for addressing the issues on Earth without neglecting the exploration of the cosmos.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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