Some people think hosting major international sporting events brings a lot of disadvantages to a country, while others believe there are more disadvantages to a country, while others believe there are more disadvantages.

In recent years, global sporting events have provoked contentious opinions on the merits they bring to the hosting countries. While some people laud this phenomenon, others hold a diverse perspective. Both viewpoints offer valid arguments, which will be discussed before presenting my own opinion.

Admittedly, opponents of these events disapprove of the economic strain they place on hosting nations. To organize an event on an international level requires meticulous preparation. Hence, the government must take into account the cost of large venues, luxurious accommodations as well as high-quality equipment. Such exorbitant expenditures are necessary as these countries have a reputation to uphold and the responsibility to eliminate mishaps. In fact, the funding for international sport games could be better utilized in combating dire issues such as poverty, climate change or traffic congestion. Thus, the organization of worldwide tournaments puts hosting countries at a financial disadvantage.

However, the aforementioned arguments neglected the potential benefits of global sport competitions. Firstly, the parties involved in the arrangement could expect a boost in economic activities, especially in the tourism sector. Hosting countries possess the privilege of media exposure. This not only presents them as appealing attractions to foreigners to visit, it also enhances their image in the global landscape. This is demonstrated by the 2024 Olympics Game which has made Paris viral for being “The city of love” after a series of romantic stories from participants. Furthermore, the host nations have the prerogative of deciding the sports. This put them at a significant advantage since the organizers could aptly choose events that play to the strength of their athletes. Consequently, this ultimately translates to better performance and achievements for these hosts.

In conclusion, there are valid concerns regarding the financial state of coordinating countries. Nonetheless, these events help to boost their reputation, generate revenue from tourism, and benefit their national teams. Therefore, I contend that international sporting competitions are favorable for hosting nations as the benefits overshadow the drawbacks.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In recent years" -> "In the recent years"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "years" corrects the grammatical error and aligns with formal academic style by specifying the time period more precisely.
"provoked contentious opinions" -> "elicited diverse opinions"
Explanation: "Elicited" is a more precise and formal term than "provoked," which can imply a negative connotation. "Diverse" is also more neutral and academically appropriate than "contentious."
"laud" -> "praise"
Explanation: "Praise" is a more straightforward and commonly accepted term in academic writing compared to "laud," which can be less familiar to some readers.
"diverse perspective" -> "varied perspectives"
Explanation: "Varied perspectives" is a more precise and formal way to describe different viewpoints, enhancing the academic tone.
"Admittedly" -> "It is acknowledged"
Explanation: "It is acknowledged" is a more formal and less conversational phrase than "Admittedly," which can sound informal in academic writing.
"meticulous preparation" -> "thorough preparation"
Explanation: "Thorough" is a more commonly used adjective in formal writing to describe preparation, making it more suitable for an academic context.
"luxurious accommodations" -> "high-quality accommodations"
Explanation: "High-quality" is a more neutral and formal term than "luxurious," which can imply excessive or unnecessary opulence.
"Such exorbitant expenditures" -> "Such significant expenditures"
Explanation: "Significant" is a more neutral term than "exorbitant," which can carry a negative connotation.
"the funding for international sport games" -> "funding for international sporting events"
Explanation: "Sporting events" is a more formal and precise term than "sport games," which is less formal and slightly colloquial.
"dire issues" -> "serious issues"
Explanation: "Serious" is a more neutral and academically appropriate term than "dire," which can be overly dramatic.
"the parties involved in the arrangement" -> "the stakeholders involved in the organization"
Explanation: "Stakeholders" is a more precise term in formal writing, indicating those with a direct interest or influence in the event.
"possess the privilege of media exposure" -> "benefit from media exposure"
Explanation: "Benefit from" is a more direct and formal way to express the advantage gained from media exposure.
"This not only presents them as appealing attractions" -> "This not only presents them as attractive destinations"
Explanation: "Destinations" is a more specific and formal term than "attractions," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"the 2024 Olympics Game" -> "the 2024 Olympic Games"
Explanation: "Games" should be plural to match the correct form of the Olympic event.
"has made Paris viral for being “The city of love”" -> "has made Paris a global icon for its romantic reputation"
Explanation: "Global icon" and "romantic reputation" are more precise and formal terms than "viral" and "The city of love," which are colloquial and less specific.
"This put them at a significant advantage" -> "This placed them at a significant advantage"
Explanation: "Placed" is the correct verb form in this context, aligning with the passive voice used in the sentence.
"ultimately translates to better performance and achievements" -> "ultimately results in improved performance and achievements"
Explanation: "Results in" is a more formal and precise phrase than "translates to," which can be vague and less direct in this context.

These changes enhance the formal tone and precision of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding the advantages and disadvantages of hosting major international sporting events. The introduction sets the stage for a balanced discussion, acknowledging that both viewpoints have merit. The first body paragraph focuses on the disadvantages, specifically the economic strain on the host country, while the second body paragraph highlights the potential benefits, such as increased tourism and enhanced national reputation. However, the prompt contains a typographical error, repeating "disadvantages" instead of contrasting it with "advantages." This could lead to confusion about the task’s requirements.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity and ensure all parts of the question are addressed, the writer should explicitly state the advantages in the introduction and ensure that the prompt is accurately interpreted. A clearer distinction between the two opposing views in the introduction could help guide the reader more effectively.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that favors hosting international sporting events, culminating in a strong conclusion that summarizes the argument. The phrase "I contend that international sporting competitions are favorable for hosting nations" clearly states the writer’s stance. However, the position could be more consistently reinforced throughout the essay, particularly in the transition between discussing disadvantages and advantages.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer could use transitional phrases that explicitly link the discussion of disadvantages to the subsequent advantages. For example, after discussing the financial strain, the writer could introduce the benefits with a phrase like, "Despite these financial concerns, it is important to consider the significant advantages that hosting such events can bring."
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents relevant ideas and supports them with examples, such as the mention of the 2024 Olympics in Paris. The arguments are logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the debate. However, the support for the advantages could be more robust; while the essay mentions increased tourism and media exposure, it lacks specific data or examples that quantify these benefits.
- How to improve: To enhance the support for ideas, the writer could include statistics or specific case studies that illustrate the economic impact of previous international sporting events. For instance, citing figures related to tourism revenue or economic growth in a host city following an event would provide stronger evidence for the claims made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt’s focus on the advantages and disadvantages of hosting international sporting events. Each paragraph contributes to the overall argument, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly focused, particularly in the second body paragraph, where the mention of "the prerogative of deciding the sports" feels slightly tangential to the main argument about economic benefits.
- How to improve: To maintain a tighter focus on the topic, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the advantages or disadvantages of hosting events. Clarifying how the choice of sports impacts the overall benefits to the host nation would help keep the discussion aligned with the prompt.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument, it could benefit from clearer distinctions in addressing the prompt, more robust support for ideas, and tighter focus on the topic throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear logical structure, beginning with an introduction that presents the topic and outlines the two opposing viewpoints. The body paragraphs are well-organized, with the first paragraph focusing on the disadvantages of hosting international sporting events and the second paragraph addressing the advantages. The use of transitional phrases, such as "Admittedly" and "However," effectively signals shifts between contrasting ideas, contributing to a coherent flow of information. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the arguments and presents the writer’s stance, reinforcing the overall logical progression.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, the essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each body paragraph. For instance, explicitly stating the main disadvantage in the first paragraph and the main advantage in the second would provide readers with a clearer roadmap of the arguments being presented. Additionally, including a brief overview of the key points in the introduction could help set expectations for the reader.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly delineated, making it easy for the reader to follow the writer’s line of reasoning. Each paragraph is adequately developed, providing sufficient details and examples to support the main points.
- How to improve: While the paragraph structure is generally effective, the essay could benefit from more varied paragraph lengths and structures. For example, the second body paragraph could be split into two shorter paragraphs: one focusing on the economic benefits and another on the reputational advantages. This would not only enhance readability but also allow for more in-depth exploration of each point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a good range of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions ("and," "but"), transitional phrases ("Admittedly," "However," "Firstly," "Furthermore"), and referencing ("the aforementioned arguments"). These devices help to connect ideas smoothly and guide the reader through the essay. The use of specific examples, such as the reference to the 2024 Olympics, also aids in creating cohesion within the text.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate more varied linking phrases and synonyms to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "However," alternatives like "On the other hand" or "Conversely" could be employed to introduce contrasting ideas. Additionally, using more complex cohesive devices, such as subordinating clauses (e.g., "Although hosting events can be costly, they often lead to increased tourism"), could enhance the sophistication of the writing.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively organizing ideas and using cohesive devices to guide the reader. With minor adjustments to paragraph structure and the variety of cohesive devices, the essay could achieve an even higher level of clarity and sophistication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms such as "contentious," "meticulous preparation," "exorbitant expenditures," and "privilege of media exposure." These choices reflect a strong command of language and an ability to convey complex ideas effectively. However, some vocabulary choices could be more varied; for instance, the repeated use of "hosting countries" could be replaced with synonyms like "host nations" or "organizing countries" to enhance lexical variety.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader range of synonyms and phrases throughout the essay. For example, instead of repeating "hosting countries," consider using "the organizers" or "the nations involved." Additionally, exploring more descriptive adjectives or adverbs could enrich the text further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "the parties involved in the arrangement" could be clearer if specified as "the organizing committee" or "event planners." Moreover, the term "luxurious accommodations" may imply a level of extravagance that isn’t necessarily applicable to all international events, which could mislead the reader about the nature of such events.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should ensure that vocabulary accurately reflects the context. For instance, instead of "luxurious accommodations," a more neutral term like "adequate accommodations" might be more appropriate, depending on the event’s nature. Additionally, using specific terms related to the sporting events, such as "athletic competitions" or "international tournaments," can improve clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words like "expenditures," "responsibility," and "achievements" are spelled correctly, demonstrating the writer’s attention to detail in this area.
- How to improve: While spelling is generally correct, the writer should continue to proofread their work to catch any potential typographical errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and practicing writing regularly can help maintain this level of accuracy. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words in academic writing can further enhance spelling proficiency.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary and spelling, there are opportunities for improvement in lexical variety and precision. By incorporating a wider range of synonyms and ensuring that vocabulary is contextually appropriate, the writer can elevate their lexical resource score further.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is prevalent, such as in the phrase, "To organize an event on an international level requires meticulous preparation." Additionally, the essay effectively employs conditional structures and participial phrases, enhancing the depth of the argument. However, there is some repetition in sentence beginnings, particularly with the use of "this" and "such," which can detract from the overall fluidity of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence openings and use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "this" or "such," the writer could rephrase to use adverbial clauses or introductory phrases. For instance, "Given the high costs associated with hosting, many argue that…" could replace a more straightforward structure.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally displays a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors. For example, the use of the subjunctive mood in "the government must take into account" is correct and appropriate. However, there are minor punctuation issues, such as the lack of a comma before "as well as" in the list of costs, which could enhance clarity. Additionally, the phrase "the 2024 Olympics Game" should be corrected to "the 2024 Olympic Games" for grammatical accuracy.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay closer attention to punctuation rules, particularly in lists and complex sentences. Reviewing comma usage and ensuring that all noun phrases are correctly pluralized will help. Regular practice with grammar exercises focused on common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and punctuation in compound sentences, can also be beneficial. Furthermore, proofreading for minor errors before submission can catch issues like the incorrect naming of events.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a balanced argument with strong grammatical control. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining punctuation, the writer can elevate their writing to an even higher level of proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, global sporting events have provoked contentious opinions on the merits they bring to the hosting countries. While some people laud this phenomenon, others hold varied perspectives. Both viewpoints offer valid arguments, which will be discussed before presenting my own opinion.

Admittedly, opponents of these events disapprove of the economic strain they place on hosting nations. To organize an event on an international level requires meticulous preparation. Hence, the government must take into account the cost of large venues, luxurious accommodations, as well as high-quality equipment. Such significant expenditures are necessary as these countries have a reputation to uphold and the responsibility to eliminate mishaps. In fact, the funding for international sporting events could be better utilized in combating serious issues such as poverty, climate change, or traffic congestion. Thus, the organization of worldwide tournaments puts hosting countries at a financial disadvantage.

However, the aforementioned arguments neglect the potential benefits of global sporting competitions. Firstly, the stakeholders involved in the organization could expect a boost in economic activities, especially in the tourism sector. Hosting countries possess the privilege of media exposure. This not only presents them as attractive destinations for foreigners to visit, but it also enhances their image in the global landscape. This is demonstrated by the 2024 Olympic Games, which has made Paris a global icon for its romantic reputation after a series of romantic stories from participants. Furthermore, the host nations have the prerogative of deciding the sports. This places them at a significant advantage since the organizers could aptly choose events that play to the strengths of their athletes. Consequently, this ultimately results in improved performance and achievements for these hosts.