Some people think it is a good thing for senior managers to have much higher salaries than the other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it is a good thing for senior managers to have much higher salaries than the other workers in a company.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There exists a contentious debate regarding the justifiability of offering considerably more favorable compensation packages to managers compared to their subordinates. While acknowledging the benefits of providing equitable salaries, I believe that such a higher remuneration for senior workers is essential, considering the responsibilities of directors and its impacts on companies’ development.
On the one hand, the idea of equitable salaries for both senior managers and operatives is reasonable for two merits. Firstly, roles at all levels within organizations entail comparable levels of stress and employees across hierarchies typically operate under the close scrutiny of superiors. In fact, they are constantly pressed for heightened productivity, yet face the prospect of redundancy in the event of financial downturns. Secondly, it is the collective effort of ordinary workers that translates a leader's vision into tangible outcomes. For instance, the realization of Steve Jobs' vision for a revolutionary smart phone, exemplified by the iPhone, hinged on the relentless efforts of Apple engineers who meticulously researched and developed the product until it achieved technical feasibility and commercial viability. Based on those arguments, it is necessary to consider the responsibility and performance of workers of all levels rather than their positions in the organization.
On the other hand, generous compensation packages are indispensable for proficient top executives, particularly when considering the demands associated with their roles. First and foremost, senior managers often work under immense pressure, bearing the weight of critical decision-making and shouldering accountability for outcomes stemming from their directives. Given such demands, few people would willingly opt to work in this position without adequate remuneration. For example, while a manager oversees the comprehensive operations of a branch, a junior employee's responsibilities are confined to their specific job duties, thereby highlighting the stark contrast in the accountability. Additionally, the disparity in wages between different positions serves as a catalyst for enhancing workplace performance among junior employees. This is because recognition, promotions, and notably, lucrative salaries, serve as potent motivators for heightened productivity and encourage positive competition within the organization. Conversely, a uniform salary structure would diminish incentives for diligent effort for a higher position and ultimately undermine overall organizational productivity.

In conclusion, while there are valid arguments for equitable salaries, I believe that offering higher remuneration to senior managers is justified. The responsibilities and value they bring to their companies, along with the need for motivation and accountability, make it essential to provide competitive compensation packages for top executives.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"considerably more favorable compensation packages" -> "significantly more favorable compensation packages"
Explanation: "Considerably" is somewhat informal and can be replaced with "significantly" for a more formal tone. Additionally, "favorable" could be substituted with "beneficial" to enhance precision.
"subordinates" -> "subordinate employees"
Explanation: Using "subordinate employees" provides a clearer description and avoids potential ambiguity.
"higher remuneration" -> "higher compensation"
Explanation: "Remuneration" is a formal term, but "compensation" is more commonly used in this context and aligns better with academic writing conventions.
"roles at all levels within organizations entail comparable levels of stress" -> "roles at all levels within organizations involve comparable levels of stress"
Explanation: This change improves the parallel structure of the sentence by replacing "entail" with "involve" to maintain consistency with the preceding clause.
"constantly pressed for heightened productivity" -> "constantly under pressure to enhance productivity"
Explanation: This modification offers a more precise description and avoids the colloquial tone of "pressed."
"For instance" -> "For example"
Explanation: "For example" is more commonly used in academic writing than "For instance."
"it is necessary to consider the responsibility and performance of workers of all levels" -> "considering the responsibility and performance of workers at all levels is necessary"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence improves clarity and emphasizes the importance of considering all levels of workers.
"indispensable for proficient top executives" -> "essential for proficient top executives"
Explanation: "Indispensable" may sound slightly informal; "essential" maintains formality and clarity.
"few people would willingly opt to work in this position" -> "few individuals would willingly choose to work in this position"
Explanation: "Opt" is somewhat colloquial; "choose" is a more formal alternative.
"First and foremost" -> "Primarily"
Explanation: "Primarily" is a more concise and formal transition phrase.
"junior employee’s responsibilities" -> "junior employees’ responsibilities"
Explanation: Plural form is needed for "employees’" to match the plural subject "junior employees."
"the disparity in wages between different positions" -> "the wage disparity among various positions"
Explanation: This change enhances clarity and maintains formality.
"serve as potent motivators" -> "act as potent motivators"
Explanation: "Serve as" can be replaced with "act as" for a more formal tone.
"lucrative salaries" -> "competitive salaries"
Explanation: "Competitive salaries" better conveys the idea of salaries that are attractive and in line with industry standards.
"uniform salary structure" -> "uniformity in salary structure"
Explanation: This adjustment provides a more precise description while maintaining formality.
"diminish incentives for diligent effort for a higher position" -> "diminish incentives for pursuing higher positions through diligent effort"
Explanation: Restructuring the phrase improves clarity and formalizes the expression.
"overall organizational productivity" -> "organizational productivity overall"
Explanation: This change maintains the meaning while adhering to the conventional placement of adjectives.

These adjustments enhance the essay’s formality and clarity while preserving its natural flow and coherence.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question by presenting arguments both for and against the idea of senior managers receiving higher salaries compared to other workers. It discusses the rationale behind equitable salaries and then elaborates on why higher remuneration for senior managers is justifiable.
- How to improve: While the essay does cover both perspectives, it could strengthen its response by providing a more explicit acknowledgment of the opposing viewpoint within the introduction or conclusion to demonstrate a deeper engagement with the prompt.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout, arguing in favor of higher salaries for senior managers. Each paragraph reinforces this stance by presenting reasons why senior managers deserve higher compensation.
- How to improve: To further enhance clarity, the essay could consider incorporating topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to explicitly state the main point and reinforce the overall position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas with relevant examples and arguments. It discusses the responsibilities of senior managers, the importance of equitable compensation, and the impact of salary differentials on workplace performance.
- How to improve: To strengthen this aspect, the essay could provide additional real-world examples or case studies to illustrate the points made, adding depth and specificity to the arguments presented.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic by addressing the central question of whether senior managers should receive higher salaries. It maintains focus on this theme throughout the essay.
- How to improve: While the essay remains relevant to the topic, it could benefit from more precise transitions between paragraphs to ensure seamless flow and coherence of ideas, thereby enhancing overall cohesion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong grasp of the prompt and effectively presents arguments supporting the position that senior managers deserve higher salaries. To further improve, it could incorporate a more explicit acknowledgment of opposing viewpoints, strengthen clarity through topic sentences, enrich arguments with additional examples, and enhance cohesion through improved transitions.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear attempt at logical organization by presenting arguments in a structured manner. It begins with an introduction that introduces the topic and the writer’s stance, followed by two body paragraphs presenting contrasting views. The first body paragraph discusses the rationale for equitable salaries for all levels of employees, while the second argues in favor of higher compensation for senior managers. Finally, the conclusion restates the writer’s position. However, there are instances where the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, providing clear transitions between ideas. Additionally, consider restructuring sentences or paragraphs to improve clarity and coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to organize ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument and maintains coherence within itself. However, there are some paragraphs that could be more concise or could benefit from further development to fully explore the presented ideas.
- How to improve: Consider refining paragraph structure to ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and provides sufficient supporting details. Additionally, avoid overly long paragraphs that may overwhelm the reader and consider breaking them down into smaller, more focused paragraphs.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and improve coherence. These include transitional phrases such as "on the one hand" and "on the other hand," which help to indicate shifts between contrasting viewpoints. Additionally, pronouns and demonstrative adjectives are used effectively to refer back to previously mentioned ideas.
- How to improve: While the essay uses cohesive devices appropriately, consider incorporating a wider range of transitions and connectors to further enhance coherence. This could include using synonyms for commonly used transitional phrases or incorporating more sophisticated cohesive devices such as parallelism or rhetorical questions to add depth to the argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, showcasing a variety of words and phrases to express ideas effectively. For instance, phrases like "considerably more favorable compensation packages," "equitable salaries," "considering the responsibilities," "proficient top executives," and "comprehensive operations" enrich the discourse and demonstrate lexical diversity.
- How to improve: While the essay generally displays a wide vocabulary range, there are opportunities to enhance it further by incorporating more sophisticated or nuanced terminology where appropriate. Consider utilizing synonyms or alternative expressions for frequently used words to avoid repetition and add depth to your argumentation. Additionally, integrating domain-specific terminology related to business management or economics could elevate the lexical sophistication of the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying intended meanings. For example, phrases like "considerably more favorable compensation packages" precisely convey the idea of unequal pay scales, while "indispensable for proficient top executives" accurately captures the essential nature of generous compensation for senior managers.
- How to improve: To further enhance precision in vocabulary usage, strive to select words or phrases that precisely capture the nuances of your intended meanings. Avoid ambiguous or overly general terms where specificity is warranted. Additionally, be mindful of context and ensure that chosen vocabulary aligns seamlessly with the overall tone and purpose of the essay.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of spelling accuracy, with no glaring spelling errors detracting from comprehension. All words are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall professionalism and clarity of the writing.
- How to improve: To maintain and enhance spelling accuracy, continue to proofread your writing carefully, paying attention to commonly misspelled words and homophones. Additionally, consider utilizing spelling and grammar checking tools to catch any overlooked errors and refine your writing further.

Overall, the essay exhibits strong lexical resource skills, with a wide range of vocabulary, precise usage, and correct spelling contributing to its effectiveness in conveying arguments cohesively. To further improve, continue diversifying your vocabulary, refining precision in word choice, and maintaining meticulous attention to spelling accuracy. These enhancements will elevate the sophistication and impact of your written expression.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. There is a proficient use of complex sentences, compound sentences, and relative clauses throughout the essay. For instance, "While acknowledging the benefits of providing equitable salaries, I believe that such higher remuneration for senior workers is essential, considering the responsibilities of directors and its impacts on companies’ development." This sentence exemplifies the author’s ability to employ complex structures effectively to convey nuanced ideas.
- How to improve: To further enhance the variety and sophistication of sentence structures, consider incorporating conditional sentences, passive voice constructions, and rhetorical devices such as parallelism and chiasmus. This can elevate the fluency and eloquence of the essay, making it more engaging for the reader.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors detracting from overall comprehension. The sentences are generally well-constructed, and grammatical conventions are followed meticulously. For example, "While a manager oversees the comprehensive operations of a branch, a junior employee’s responsibilities are confined to their specific job duties, thereby highlighting the stark contrast in accountability." Here, the correct use of parallel structure and possessive pronouns enhances clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: To maintain this level of accuracy and precision, continue practicing grammar exercises, paying particular attention to subject-verb agreement, pronoun antecedent agreement, and verb tense consistency. Additionally, proofreading essays thoroughly before submission can help identify and correct any remaining grammatical errors or punctuation mistakes, ensuring polished writing.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical structures and punctuation conventions, contributing significantly to its coherence and clarity. By incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures and maintaining grammatical accuracy, the author can further enhance the sophistication and effectiveness of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is an ongoing debate about whether it is fair to provide senior managers with significantly higher salaries compared to other workers in a company. While recognizing the importance of fair pay, I contend that offering higher compensation to senior staff is crucial, considering their responsibilities and impact on company growth.

On one hand, the notion of equal pay for both senior managers and employees has its merits. Firstly, roles at all levels within organizations involve similar levels of stress, with employees facing pressure from superiors and the risk of redundancy during financial downturns. Secondly, the collective efforts of all workers are vital for translating a leader’s vision into tangible results. For instance, the success of products like the iPhone relies on the hard work of engineers who bring the vision to life. Thus, it’s important to value the contributions and performance of all workers, regardless of their position.

On the other hand, generous compensation packages are necessary for senior executives due to the demands of their roles. Senior managers bear the weight of critical decision-making and are accountable for outcomes, working under immense pressure. Few would take on such responsibilities without adequate compensation. For example, a manager overseeing a branch has far greater accountability than a junior employee with narrower responsibilities. Additionally, salary disparities serve as motivation for junior employees, encouraging productivity and healthy competition. A uniform salary structure would diminish incentives for advancement and undermine overall productivity.

In conclusion, while there are arguments for equal pay, I believe that providing higher compensation to senior managers is justified. Their responsibilities, value to the company, and the need for motivation and accountability warrant competitive compensation packages.