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Some people think movies should only be for entertainment. Others think that they should also have educational values. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think movies should only be for entertainment. Others think that they should also have educational values. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many individual think that watching movies is simply entertainment after the pressure of studying, working, taking exams, etc. While some others think that through movies we can summarize value of life, is the message that the film wants to convey. Each person has their own way of choosing to watch movies according to the genre they like and their reasons for watching movies.
On the one hand, people go to the cinema to watch movies, enjoy movies at home, or watch TV as a way to meet friends and family members to share and comment on movie topics. On holidays, people go to the cinema together to enjoy the fun. Therefore, movie producers spend a lot of money investing in blockbuster movies to attract audiences to theaters to enjoy the breath-taking atmosphere of action scenes, or extremely beautiful, splendid, majestic images. The majestic, magical, endless space of the universe in fantasy films stimulates all of the viewer's senses. For example, the movies Avatar and Aquamen, the cinematography has made the audience feel lost in a completely different world.
On the other hand, movies or television also have their own educational value, there is content that will be suitable for different ages, so movie producers will assign appropriate age labels to their movies. Movies are also adapted from novels, literature, or real events, stories from everyday life, so producers want to send the audience a message of life's value through the movie. For example, the movie Forest Gump, which won an Oscar, tells the story of a character named Forest Gump, an autistic boy from a young age who, thanks to his mother's and his own efforts, became president of the company on the stock exchange, and having a wonderfully faithful love with the girl since childhood, the film gives a very clear value that if a person works hard and tries hard, defects are no longer a problem.
In conclusion, whether watching movies is entertaining or has educational value depends on each individual's preferences. There is no right or wrong opinion when we choose a favorite movie.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Many individual think" -> "Many individuals believe"
    Explanation: Replacing "Many individual think" with "Many individuals believe" improves the formality of the sentence by using the correct subject-verb agreement and a more academic term.

  2. "simply entertainment after the pressure of studying, working, taking exams, etc." -> "mere entertainment as a respite from the pressures of studying, working, and taking exams"
    Explanation: The revised phrase "mere entertainment as a respite from the pressures of studying, working, and taking exams" is more formal and precise, avoiding the use of "etc." and adding clarity.

  3. "While some others think that" -> "Meanwhile, others argue that"
    Explanation: "Meanwhile, others argue that" is a more academically suitable transition, replacing the informal "While some others think that."

  4. "summarize value of life" -> "convey the value of life"
    Explanation: "Convey the value of life" is a more precise and formal phrase compared to "summarize value of life."

  5. "Each person has their own way" -> "Each individual has their own method"
    Explanation: Replacing "Each person has their own way" with "Each individual has their own method" maintains formality and clarity.

  6. "On the one hand" -> "Firstly,"
    Explanation: "Firstly" is a more formal transition than "On the one hand."

  7. "meet friends and family members to share and comment on movie topics" -> "gather with friends and family to discuss and comment on cinematic themes"
    Explanation: The revised phrase is more formal and uses more precise vocabulary.

  8. "enjoy the fun" -> "derive enjoyment"
    Explanation: "Derive enjoyment" is a more formal and sophisticated way to express the idea.

  9. "movie producers spend a lot of money investing in blockbuster movies" -> "film producers allocate substantial resources to create blockbuster movies"
    Explanation: The revised sentence employs more formal language and specifies that resources are allocated for the creation of blockbusters.

  10. "breath-taking atmosphere of action scenes, or extremely beautiful, splendid, majestic images" -> "awe-inspiring ambiance of action sequences and stunningly beautiful, splendid, and majestic visuals"
    Explanation: The revised phrase enhances the formality and precision of the description.

  11. "majestic, magical, endless space of the universe in fantasy films stimulates all of the viewer’s senses" -> "The grand and enchanting expanse of the universe depicted in fantasy films captivates the audience’s senses"
    Explanation: The suggested alternative is more academically appropriate and provides a more vivid description.

  12. "On the other hand, movies or television also have their own educational value" -> "Furthermore, films and television also possess inherent educational merit"
    Explanation: "Furthermore" is a more formal transition, and the revised phrase uses more precise vocabulary.

  13. "there is content that will be suitable for different ages" -> "content that is age-appropriate"
    Explanation: The revised phrase is more concise and maintains a formal tone.

  14. "so movie producers will assign appropriate age labels to their movies" -> "thus, film producers assign age-appropriate ratings to their films"
    Explanation: The alternative is more formal and employs more precise language.

  15. "the film gives a very clear value" -> "the film imparts a distinct moral message"
    Explanation: The revised phrase is more formal and conveys the idea more precisely.

  16. "In conclusion, whether watching movies is entertaining or has educational value depends on each individual’s preferences." -> "In conclusion, the entertainment or educational value of watching movies is contingent upon individual preferences."
    Explanation: The revised sentence maintains formality and clarity while rephrasing the idea more academically.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question. It discusses both the perspective that movies should be for entertainment and the perspective that they should have educational value. It also provides the author’s opinion.
    • How to improve: To improve further, the essay could provide a more balanced exploration of both perspectives before presenting the author’s opinion. This would demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout. It clearly states that the value of movies depends on individual preferences, and this position is consistently upheld.
    • How to improve: There is no need for improvement in this aspect. The essay effectively maintains its stance.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents, extends, and supports ideas reasonably well. It offers examples of people watching movies for entertainment and discusses how movies can convey life values. However, the examples are somewhat limited in scope.
    • How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the essay could provide more diverse and detailed examples to strengthen the argument. It could explore various genres of movies and their potential educational or entertainment value.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing both entertainment and educational aspects of movies. However, it could be more focused in its discussion of educational values.
    • How to improve: To improve, the essay should delve deeper into the educational aspect of movies and provide more specific examples of movies that have significant educational value. This would ensure a more comprehensive coverage of the topic.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a good understanding of the prompt and effectively conveys the writer’s perspective. To enhance the response, it could benefit from more thorough exploration of both sides of the argument and more diverse and detailed examples to support the ideas presented.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It starts with an introduction that presents the two opposing views on the role of movies, followed by two well-structured body paragraphs discussing each perspective in turn. The essay closes with a concise conclusion summarizing the main points.
    • How to improve: While the overall logical flow is good, you can enhance it by using more transitional phrases or linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, you can use phrases like "On the one hand," and "On the other hand," to make the transitions smoother.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate and develop different ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, contributing to the overall coherence.
    • How to improve: To further improve the essay’s paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. Additionally, make sure that there is a smooth transition from one paragraph to the next to maintain the flow of ideas.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as pronouns ("it," "they"), conjunctions ("while," "therefore"), and repetition of key terms ("movies," "value"). These devices help to connect ideas and create coherence.
    • How to improve: While the essay uses cohesive devices effectively, you can further enhance cohesion by incorporating a wider range of transitional words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in addition," "conversely," etc. This will provide a more nuanced connection between sentences and ideas.

Overall, your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion, but small improvements in the use of transitional phrases and a broader range of cohesive devices would further enhance its overall quality. Keep up the good work in structuring your essays logically and maintaining a clear division of ideas within paragraphs.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary. It uses a variety of words and phrases related to the topic, such as "entertainment," "educational value," "cinema," "blockbuster movies," "majestic," "stimulates," and more. However, there is room for improvement as some vocabulary choices are repetitive, and a few phrases could be more precise.
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary diversity, consider using synonyms and exploring more nuanced expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "movies," you can use alternatives like "films," "cinematic works," or "motion pictures." Additionally, try to incorporate specialized vocabulary related to entertainment and education to add depth to your essay.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary adequately, but there are instances of imprecise word choices or awkward phrasing. For instance, "summarize value of life" could be clarified as "convey life lessons," and "enjoy the fun" might be better expressed as "experience enjoyment." There is also an instance where "Aquamen" should be corrected to "Aquaman."
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to the context in which you use words and phrases. Ensure that each word accurately conveys your intended meaning. When in doubt, opt for simpler and more common words to reduce the risk of imprecision.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a reasonable level of spelling accuracy, but there are a few errors present. For example, "Aquamen" should be corrected to "Aquaman," and "Forest Gump" should be spelled as "Forrest Gump." These errors do not significantly hinder comprehension, but they should be addressed to improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider proofreading your work carefully or using spelling and grammar checking tools. Pay particular attention to the names of movies, as these are proper nouns and should be spelled correctly.

Overall, your essay displays a reasonably strong level of lexical resource. To achieve a higher band score, focus on expanding your vocabulary, using words precisely, and eliminating spelling errors. Additionally, strive for greater variety in your word choices to make your essay more engaging and articulate.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fairly good range of sentence structures, including simple and complex sentences. There are examples of compound and complex sentences, but the variety could be improved. Many sentences follow a similar structure, which can make the essay feel somewhat repetitive.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider using more complex sentence structures, such as conditional sentences, relative clauses, or inverted sentences. This can make the essay more engaging and sophisticated.
  • Use Grammar Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains good grammatical accuracy. However, there are some instances where subject-verb agreement is not correct, such as "Many individual think" (should be "Many individuals think") and "there is content that will be suitable" (should be "there is content that is suitable"). Additionally, there is an issue with articles in phrases like "enjoy movies at home" (should be "enjoying movies at home"). These errors, while not pervasive, slightly affect the overall accuracy of the essay.
    • How to improve: Pay careful attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage. Proofreading the essay before submission can help identify and correct these minor errors. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from a peer or teacher to catch such issues.
  • Use Correct Punctuation:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses correct punctuation, including commas, periods, and question marks. However, there are some minor issues with punctuation. For instance, in the sentence, "There is no right or wrong opinion when we choose a favorite movie," a comma before "when" would improve clarity. Additionally, the essay could benefit from more varied punctuation, such as semicolons or colons, to break up longer sentences and enhance readability.
    • How to improve: Review the use of commas, especially in complex sentences, to ensure they are appropriately placed. Experiment with different punctuation marks like semicolons and colons to add variety to your writing and improve its flow.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar and punctuation, with some minor issues. To further improve, focus on sentence structure variety and addressing the occasional subject-verb agreement and article usage errors. With these enhancements, the essay can achieve an even higher score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

Many individuals believe that watching movies serves as mere entertainment, providing a respite from the pressures of studying, working, and taking exams. Meanwhile, others argue that films can also convey the value of life, representing the message that the film aims to deliver. Each individual has their own method of choosing what movies to watch, often guided by their preferred genre and reasons for watching.

Firstly, people engage with movies in various ways. They may go to the cinema, enjoy movies at home, or watch TV as a means to gather with friends and family to discuss and comment on cinematic themes. During holidays, people often come together to the cinema to derive enjoyment from the experience. Consequently, film producers allocate substantial resources to create blockbuster movies that attract audiences to theaters, offering an awe-inspiring ambiance through action sequences and stunningly beautiful, splendid, and majestic visuals. The grand and enchanting expanse of the universe depicted in fantasy films captivates the audience’s senses, as exemplified by movies like Avatar and Aquaman, where the cinematography transports viewers to entirely different worlds.

On the other hand, movies and television also possess inherent educational merit. They feature content that is age-appropriate, leading film producers to assign age-appropriate ratings to their films. Moreover, many movies are adapted from novels, literature, real events, or everyday life stories. Producers aim to impart a distinct moral message through their movies. Take, for instance, the Oscar-winning film Forrest Gump, which narrates the life story of the titular character, Forrest Gump, an individual with autism who, thanks to his and his mother’s unwavering efforts, rises to become a stock exchange company president. Additionally, he enjoys a wonderfully faithful love with his childhood friend. The film conveys a clear message that diligent efforts and determination can overcome any shortcomings.

In conclusion, the entertainment or educational value of watching movies is contingent upon individual preferences. Each person’s choice of a favorite movie is subjective, and there is no right or wrong opinion in this matter.

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