Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children, while others think parents need not do that, as children can read books, watch TV or movies by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children, while others think parents need not do that, as children can read books, watch TV or movies by themselves.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Among enormous issues related to rearing a child, questions about should parents read books to children are looming large. While many people think that it is an ideal way to facilitate children’s development and family bonds, others believe children should be given autonomous time to read books or watch TV. This following essay will analyze these views before giving my opinion, which posits that these activities should be organized base on children’s needs and interests, not a fixed approach.
Proponents of the idea reading books to children tout that this quality time between parents and children significantly affects family relationship, as well as children’s language development. Firstly, through discussing the plots and characters in the stories, parents can understand more their children’s characteristic and interests. This is crucial for fostering connection between family members, which is rooted from understanding, empathy and respect. That is not to mention the benefits of language proficiency it brings. Studies have revealed that early exposure to language by listening stories from their parents, children can express themselves verbally earlier with wide range of vocabulary and appropriate words. In this light, when parents spend their time read books for their children, it not only concrete family rapport, but also sharpen children’s language ability.
On the flip side, others believe that children should be given their own personal time to read book by themselves or watch TV. This independent amount of time might help children create their own world by imagination and reduce the reliance on parents’ supports. Recent studies have shown that self-playing can foster creativity and problem-solving skills, which plays an important role in navigating their future life. Furthermore, parents can benefit from this time which can use for relaxation after a long working day. As a result, parents might not feel more burden as they have another responsibility at home to do when they are in a low energy mood and children still can develop crucial skills for their future.
In conclusion, as with many other debates, who reads book to children is not about choosing a fixed approach but do it in the harness of children interests and parents situation. As long as, parents and kids have quality time together regularly, family rapport will be tied and children are given opportunities for developments.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Among enormous issues related to rearing a child" -> "Among the significant challenges associated with child-rearing"
Explanation: Replacing "enormous issues" with "significant challenges" provides a more precise and formal description of the topic, better fitting academic writing style.
"questions about should parents read books to children are looming large" -> "questions regarding whether parents should read books to their children are increasingly prominent"
Explanation: The original phrasing is informal and awkwardly constructed. The revision clarifies and formalizes the sentence structure.
"This following essay will analyze these views before giving my opinion" -> "This essay will analyze these views before presenting my perspective"
Explanation: "This following" is redundant and informal; "presenting my perspective" is more formally appropriate than "giving my opinion."
"should be organized base on children’s needs" -> "should be organized based on children’s needs"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error ("base" to "based") for accuracy and maintains formal tone.
"Proponents of the idea reading books to children tout" -> "Proponents of reading books to children advocate"
Explanation: "Tout" is somewhat informal for academic writing; "advocate" is a more appropriate and formal verb.
"significantly affects family relationship" -> "significantly affects the family relationship"
Explanation: The addition of "the" before "family relationship" corrects the article usage, aligning it with formal academic style.
"children’s characteristic and interests" -> "children’s characteristics and interests"
Explanation: Corrects the singular form "characteristic" to the plural "characteristics" to match with "interests" and improve grammatical accuracy.
"concrete family rapport" -> "cement family rapport"
Explanation: "Concrete" is improperly used as a verb; "cement" is the correct verb form for saying that something strengthens or solidifies relationships.
"read books for their children" -> "read books to their children"
Explanation: The preposition "for" is less accurate than "to" in this context, as "to read to" someone is the correct idiomatic expression.
"own personal time" -> "personal time"
Explanation: "Own personal" is redundant. Removing "own" simplifies and clarifies the phrase without losing meaning.
"book by themselves" -> "books by themselves"
Explanation: Adjusts "book" to the plural "books" for consistency with the rest of the essay and accurate reference.
"might help children create their own world by imagination" -> "might help children create their own imaginative worlds"
Explanation: The phrase "by imagination" is awkward and informal; "their own imaginative worlds" is a more elegant and academic construction.
"use for relaxation" -> "use it for relaxation"
Explanation: Adds "it" to clarify the subject, enhancing readability and grammatical correctness.
"parents might not feel more burden" -> "parents might not feel as burdened"
Explanation: Replaces "feel more burden" with "feel as burdened," which is grammatically correct and better fits the intended meaning.
"do it in the harness of children interests and parents situation" -> "undertake it in accordance with the children’s interests and the parents’ circumstances"
Explanation: The phrase "do it in the harness of" is unclear and non-standard; "undertake it in accordance with" is clearer and more formal. Adjusts for possessive correctness and academic tone.
"As long as, parents and kids have quality time together regularly" -> "As long as parents and children spend quality time together regularly"
Explanation: Removes unnecessary comma and replaces informal "kids" with "children" to maintain an academic tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both perspectives outlined in the prompt. It discusses the benefits of parents reading to children as well as the advantages of children having autonomous time for reading or watching TV.
- How to improve: While the essay touches upon both views, it could provide a more balanced exploration by delving deeper into the potential drawbacks or limitations of each perspective. Additionally, ensuring that each point is directly linked to the prompt can strengthen the essay’s coherence and relevance.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The author’s opinion is clearly stated in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion. Throughout the essay, there is consistency in supporting the idea that reading and other activities should be based on children’s needs and interests.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, the author could explicitly state their position at the beginning of each body paragraph and ensure that all subsequent arguments directly support this stance. This would reinforce the essay’s coherence and strengthen the argumentation.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas with sufficient elaboration and support. Examples are provided to illustrate the benefits of parents reading to children and the advantages of autonomous activities. However, some points could benefit from more in-depth analysis and additional evidence.
- How to improve: To enhance the depth of analysis, the author could include more specific examples, statistics, or studies to bolster their arguments. Additionally, exploring potential counterarguments and addressing them would add complexity and credibility to the essay’s arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the role of parents in reading to children versus children engaging in autonomous activities like reading or watching TV. However, there are instances where the focus could be sharper, such as ensuring that all examples and arguments directly relate to the central theme.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that each paragraph directly contributes to the discussion of parental involvement in children’s activities. Avoiding tangential points and staying closely aligned with the prompt can strengthen the coherence and relevance of the essay.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear position, there is room for improvement in providing a more balanced exploration of perspectives, strengthening argumentation with additional evidence, and maintaining sharper focus on the central theme. By refining these aspects, the essay could achieve an even higher band score for Task Response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear organizational structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing each viewpoint, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, presenting arguments for and against parents reading to children and concluding with the author’s opinion. The logical progression of ideas aids in comprehension and coherence.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider providing a stronger transition between paragraphs to smoothly guide the reader from one argument to the next. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to establish its main idea.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to separate different aspects of the argument. Each paragraph addresses a distinct point, such as the benefits of parents reading to children and the advantages of children having independent reading time. This paragraph structure enhances readability and clarity.
- How to improve: To strengthen paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph maintains unity and coherence by focusing on a single main idea. Additionally, consider varying the length and structure of sentences within paragraphs to maintain reader engagement.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases ("Firstly," "On the flip side," "Furthermore," "In conclusion"), to connect ideas and guide the reader through the argument. These cohesive devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay by signaling shifts between different viewpoints and reinforcing the logical progression of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of transition words and phrases to add nuance and sophistication to the essay’s structure. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay to maintain coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, incorporating terms such as "looming large," "autonomous," "proponents," "touting," "concrete," and "harness." These choices enrich the essay’s language and convey the writer’s ideas effectively.
- How to improve: To further enhance the lexical resource, consider integrating more diverse vocabulary that accurately captures nuanced meanings. For instance, instead of "looming large," alternatives like "prominent" or "salient" could be utilized to add variety.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with reasonable precision. For instance, terms like "autonomous" and "harness" are aptly employed to convey specific concepts. However, there are instances where vocabulary usage could be refined for greater precision. For example, the phrase "self-playing" in the context of children engaging in independent activities could be substituted with a more precise term like "self-directed play" or "self-guided exploration."
- How to improve: Continuously expand your vocabulary and strive for exactness in word choice. Utilize resources like a thesaurus to explore synonyms and select the most fitting terms for expressing your ideas.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy, with no egregious errors evident. However, there are minor instances of misspellings, such as "concrete" instead of "concretize," and "rapport" instead of "report." These errors do not significantly detract from the overall coherence of the essay but could be addressed to enhance professionalism.
- How to improve: Engage in regular proofreading to identify and rectify spelling errors. Additionally, leverage spelling assistance tools like spell-checkers and dictionary resources to reinforce accuracy in written expression.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, compound sentences, and some use of conditional constructions. For instance, the essay employs subordinate clauses to provide additional information ("While many people think that…"), employs compound sentences ("This following essay will analyze…"), and includes a conditional structure ("…should be organized based on children’s needs and interests…"). These structures contribute to coherence and demonstrate a sophisticated command of grammar.
- How to improve: While the essay exhibits a good range of structures, further diversification can enhance its effectiveness. Introducing more complex sentence structures such as inversion or parallelism could elevate the sophistication of the writing. Additionally, incorporating varied sentence beginnings and lengths can add dynamism and engage the reader more effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar and punctuation. The sentences are generally well-structured, and grammatical errors are minimal. However, there are a few instances where minor grammatical errors occur, such as subject-verb agreement ("…these activities should be organized base[d] on children’s needs and interests…") and punctuation errors (missing commas before introductory phrases, e.g., "Firstly, through discussing the plots and characters in the stories…").
- How to improve: To further improve grammatical accuracy, careful proofreading to catch minor errors is essential. Additionally, paying attention to subject-verb agreement and consistent use of punctuation, particularly commas in complex sentences, can enhance the overall clarity and coherence of the essay. Reviewing these aspects during the revision process will ensure a polished final product.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, contributing to its coherence and clarity. By incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures and ensuring meticulous attention to grammar and punctuation details, the essay can further enhance its effectiveness and precision.

Bài sửa mẫu

Among the significant challenges associated with child-rearing, questions regarding whether parents should read books to their children are increasingly prominent. While many believe that it is an ideal way to facilitate children’s development and strengthen family bonds, others argue that children should have autonomous time to read books or watch TV. This essay will analyze these views before presenting my perspective, which posits that such activities should be organized based on children’s needs and interests, not a fixed approach.

Proponents of reading books to children advocate that this quality time between parents and children significantly affects the family relationship, as well as children’s language development. Firstly, through discussing the plots and characters in the stories, parents can better understand their children’s characteristics and interests. This is crucial for fostering connections between family members, which are rooted in understanding, empathy, and respect. Not to mention, the benefits of language proficiency it brings. Studies have shown that early exposure to language through listening to stories from their parents allows children to express themselves verbally earlier, with a wide range of vocabulary and appropriate words. In this light, when parents spend time reading books to their children, it not only cements family rapport but also sharpens children’s language abilities.

On the flip side, others believe that children should be given their own personal time to read books by themselves or watch TV. This independent time might help children create their own imaginative worlds and reduce reliance on parents’ support. Recent studies have shown that self-directed play can foster creativity and problem-solving skills, which play an important role in navigating their future lives. Furthermore, parents can benefit from this time which they can use for relaxation after a long working day. As a result, parents might not feel as burdened, as they have another responsibility at home when they are in a low energy mood, yet children can still develop crucial skills for their future.

In conclusion, as with many other debates, who reads books to children is not about choosing a fixed approach but undertaking it in accordance with the children’s interests and the parents’ circumstances. As long as parents and children spend quality time together regularly, family rapport will be strengthened, and children are given opportunities for development.