Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both views and give your opinion

There is a divergence of opinion regarding whether paying taxes is sufficient contribution to society. I contend that as a part of society, people should have more responsibilities
Detractors may argue that paying taxes is enough. It is undoubted that this have make significant contributions for growth of society by investing in infrastructer and healthcare. Therefore, citizen’s life will become convenient and fullfill, resulting in the enhancement in quality of people. For example, in my country, government has been using this money to provide free vaccines of some diseases in for the whole population. Therefore, the poverty has chance to access and convert such diseases.
While these arguments hold certain merit, I think that there are many things that financial supports can not tackle. Firstly, environmental issues can not be radically solved by paying taxes because awareness plays a crucial key. When people assume that paying taxes makes adequate contribution, they tend to ignore other responsibilites. For instance, citizens with these assumption are not likely to maintain hygiene in public places in street since they think that they paid for government to clean streets, parks, public transports, which affect their life. Additionally, social responsibilities should also be considered, as it influences not only individuals but also the nation. A prime example of this is taking part in election activity, which choosing people to lead the people. By abandoning laws and rules, they directely influence the life of every citizens.
In conclusion, paying taxes is important contribution, but it should not be the sole responsile.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"divergence of opinion" -> "differing opinions"
Explanation: The phrase "differing opinions" is more direct and commonly used in academic writing than "divergence of opinion," which may sound slightly awkward and less straightforward.
"sufficient contribution to society" -> "adequate contribution to societal welfare"
Explanation: "Societal welfare" is a more precise term that enhances the formal tone and specificity compared to the more generic "society."
"It is undoubted that this have make" -> "It is undeniable that these have made"
Explanation: Correcting grammatical errors for accuracy, "undeniable" is preferred for a formal tone, and "these have made" is grammatically correct and plural to match "contributions."
"significant contributions for growth of society" -> "significant contributions to the growth of society"
Explanation: The preposition "to" is more appropriate than "for" in this context, as it properly links the contributions to their impact on society.
"investing in infrastructer and healthcare" -> "investing in infrastructure and healthcare"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "infrastructure" to maintain professionalism and credibility in academic writing.
"citizen’s life will become convenient and fullfill" -> "citizens’ lives will become convenient and fulfilled"
Explanation: Using the plural form "citizens’ lives" correctly reflects the reference to the lives of multiple citizens, and "fulfilled" is grammatically correct compared to "fullfill."
"enhancement in quality of people" -> "enhancement of people’s quality of life"
Explanation: "People’s quality of life" is a clearer and more academic phrase, indicating specifically what aspect of people is being enhanced.
"free vaccines of some diseases in for the whole population" -> "free vaccines for several diseases to the entire population"
Explanation: "For several diseases" correctly specifies the diseases, and "to the entire population" is more grammatically correct and formal than the original phrase.
"the poverty has chance to access" -> "the impoverished have the opportunity to access"
Explanation: "The impoverished" as a noun phrase is more precise and sensitive than "the poverty," and "have the opportunity to access" is grammatically correct and formal.
"can not" -> "cannot"
Explanation: "Cannot" is the standard form in formal English, whereas "can not" is less typical and can appear informal.
"awareness plays a crucial key" -> "awareness plays a crucial role"
Explanation: The correct idiomatic expression is "plays a crucial role," which is commonly used in formal academic writing.
"citizens with these assumption" -> "citizens with this assumption"
Explanation: "This assumption" is grammatically correct as "assumption" is singular.
"maintain hygiene in public places in street" -> "maintain hygiene in public places and streets"
Explanation: "And streets" improves clarity and grammatical structure, providing a more natural flow to the list of locations.
"public transports" -> "public transport"
Explanation: "Public transport" is typically uncountable in this context and used without the plural ‘s’ in formal English.
"choosing people to lead the people" -> "electing leaders"
Explanation: "Electing leaders" is more concise and avoids the awkward repetition of "people."
"directely" -> "directly"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling error enhances the professionalism of the text.
"every citizens" -> "every citizen"
Explanation: "Every" is followed by a singular noun, thus "every citizen" is grammatically correct.
"is important contribution" -> "is an important contribution"
Explanation: Including "an" provides the necessary article for grammatical correctness and readability.
"the sole responsile" -> "the sole responsibility"
Explanation: Correcting "responsile" to "responsibility" for correctness and to maintain the formal academic tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both sides of the argument as required by the prompt. It discusses the viewpoint that paying taxes is sufficient contribution to society and also presents the opposing perspective that people have more responsibilities beyond taxes. However, the explanation for each viewpoint is somewhat brief and lacks depth. For example, while it mentions the benefits of taxes for infrastructure and healthcare, it could provide more specific examples or elaborate further on the responsibilities beyond taxes.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay could dedicate more space to exploring each viewpoint in depth. This could involve providing additional examples, discussing potential consequences of each perspective, or offering counterarguments to strengthen the analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that paying taxes alone is not sufficient contribution to society. This stance is evident from the beginning and remains consistent throughout the essay. However, the introduction could be stronger in explicitly stating the author’s opinion rather than leaving it implied.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, the author should explicitly state their position in the introduction. Additionally, they can reinforce their stance throughout the essay by reiterating their opinion in the conclusion and by consistently providing evidence and arguments that support their viewpoint.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks thorough development and support. While it mentions the benefits of paying taxes for infrastructure and healthcare, it does not delve deeply into these points or provide specific evidence to support them. Similarly, the discussion of responsibilities beyond taxes is somewhat superficial and would benefit from further elaboration and evidence.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, the author should provide more detailed explanations and examples to support their arguments. This could involve citing research, statistics, or real-life examples to illustrate the impact of taxes on society and the importance of additional responsibilities.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay stays on topic by discussing the two viewpoints presented in the prompt: the belief that paying taxes is sufficient and the idea that people have more responsibilities beyond taxes. However, there are some instances where the essay veers slightly off topic, such as when discussing environmental issues and hygiene in public places. While these points are relevant to the broader discussion of societal responsibilities, they could be more directly tied back to the prompt.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that all examples and arguments directly relate to the central question of whether paying taxes is a sufficient contribution to society. They can achieve this by clearly connecting each point back to the prompt and avoiding tangents that do not directly address the essay question.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear attempt at organization, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are instances where the logical flow is disrupted, such as the abrupt transition between discussing the benefits of taxes in the first paragraph to environmental issues in the second paragraph. This lack of smooth transition affects the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider creating a stronger connection between paragraphs by using transitional phrases or sentences. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, leading to a smoother progression of arguments.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs to separate different ideas, but the structure within paragraphs could be improved for clarity. There are instances where multiple ideas are presented within the same paragraph, leading to confusion for the reader. For example, in the second paragraph, both the benefits of taxes and environmental issues are discussed within the same paragraph.
- How to improve: Aim for each paragraph to have a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. Then, provide supporting details and examples to elaborate on that idea within the paragraph. Consider breaking down complex ideas into smaller, more digestible paragraphs to improve readability and coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay attempts to use cohesive devices, such as transition words like "while," "firstly," and "additionally," their usage is inconsistent, and some transitions feel forced. For instance, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother to better connect the ideas.
- How to improve: Try to use a wider variety of cohesive devices, including pronouns, conjunctions, and transitional phrases, to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Focus on using cohesive devices naturally to guide the reader through the logical progression of ideas. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to maintain coherence throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, incorporating terms such as "divergence," "detractors," "radically," "assumption," and "abandoning." However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the vocabulary further to enhance the depth of expression. For instance, synonyms or related terms could be employed to provide nuance and clarity.
- How to improve: To expand the range of vocabulary, consider using synonyms, antonyms, idiomatic expressions, or specialized terminology where appropriate. For example, instead of repeatedly using "responsibilities," you could incorporate terms like "obligations," "duties," or "commitments" to add variety and precision to your language.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally utilizes vocabulary with moderate precision. However, there are instances of imprecise word choices that detract from clarity. For example, "this have make significant contributions" should be "this has made significant contributions," and "fullfill" should be "fulfill." Such errors in usage impede the coherence and effectiveness of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, carefully review your word choices and ensure they accurately convey your intended meaning. Proofreading for grammatical errors and employing tools like grammar checkers can help identify and rectify imprecise usage. Additionally, familiarize yourself with common errors to avoid repeating them in future writing.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits noticeable spelling errors throughout, such as "infrastructure" instead of "infrastructer," "fulfill" instead of "fullfill," and "responsibilities" instead of "responsibilites." These errors diminish the overall readability and professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-check functions available in word processing software or online writing platforms. Additionally, reviewing common spelling patterns and practicing spelling exercises can reinforce your ability to spell words correctly. Taking the time to proofread your work before submission can also help catch and correct spelling mistakes.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fairly varied range of sentence structures, including complex sentences, compound sentences, and simple sentences. For example, complex structures such as "While these arguments hold certain merit, I think that there are many things that financial supports can not tackle" and compound sentences like "For instance, citizens with these assumptions are not likely to maintain hygiene in public places in the street since they think that they paid for the government to clean streets, parks, public transports, which affect their life" contribute to the overall variety.
- How to improve: To further enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures such as conditional sentences, relative clauses, and participial phrases. This can enrich the essay’s expression and demonstrate a higher level of syntactic sophistication.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a generally accurate use of grammar and punctuation, with occasional errors throughout the text. For instance, there are instances of subject-verb agreement issues ("It is undoubted that this have make significant contributions for growth of society"), articles missing ("…provide free vaccines of some diseases in for the whole population"), and tense consistency errors ("…citizens with these assumption are not likely to maintain hygiene…"). Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas before coordinating conjunctions in compound sentences ("For example, citizens with these assumptions are not likely to maintain hygiene in public places in street since they think that they paid for government to clean streets, parks, public transports, which affect their life").
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review and revise sentences for subject-verb agreement, article usage, tense consistency, and punctuation. Specifically, pay attention to ensuring that subjects and verbs agree in number and tense, use articles appropriately before nouns, and employ commas effectively to enhance clarity and readability. Proofreading the essay carefully before submission can help identify and correct these errors.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical structures and punctuation conventions, contributing to its coherence and clarity. By incorporating a wider range of sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy, the essay could further elevate its effectiveness and coherence, potentially achieving a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a divergence of opinion regarding whether paying taxes is sufficient contribution to society. I contend that, as part of society, people should have more responsibilities.

Detractors may argue that paying taxes is enough. It is undeniable that this has made significant contributions to the growth of society by investing in infrastructure and healthcare. Consequently, citizens’ lives become more convenient and fulfilled, leading to an enhanced quality of life. For example, in my country, the government has used tax money to provide free vaccines for certain diseases to the entire population. Therefore, the impoverished have a chance to access these vaccines and avoid such diseases.

While these arguments hold some merit, I think there are many things that financial support alone cannot tackle. Firstly, environmental issues cannot be radically solved by just paying taxes because awareness plays a crucial role. When people assume that paying taxes is an adequate contribution, they tend to ignore other responsibilities. For instance, citizens with this assumption may not maintain hygiene in public places and streets because they believe they paid the government to clean these areas, including streets, parks, and public transport, which can affect their quality of life. Additionally, social responsibilities should also be considered, as they impact not only individuals but the entire nation. A prime example of this is participating in elections, where people choose leaders to represent them. By disregarding these social responsibilities, they directly influence the lives of every citizen.

In conclusion, paying taxes is an important contribution, but it should not be the sole responsibility of citizens in society.