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Some people think studying from the past offers no benefits to today’s life, while others believe that history is a valuable source of information for us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think studying from the past offers no benefits to today’s life, while others believe that history is a valuable source of information for us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many individuals believe that studying history holds little relevance for contemporary life, as they argue that the past is disconnected from the challenges and advancements of today. Conversely, I would side with those who maintain that history serves as valuable knowledge, providing insights that could inform present-day decisions.
On the one hand, those who contend with the point that studying history offers no significant advantages assert that modern society has evolved far beyond the conditions of the past, rendering historical knowledge obsolete (outdated). Along with rapid technological innovations, social transformations, and shifts in global dynamics have created an entirely different context for human progress that makes lessons from the past less applicable. Furthermore, the complexities of the current world, characterized by unprecedented challenges such as climate change and global pandemics, require innovative approaches that diverge from historical frameworks.
On the other hand, I would argue that history is a valuable source of information that is crucial for making informed decisions in the present. History offers insights into how societies have navigated political, economic, and social challenges, allowing people to learn from past successes and failures. Understanding the causes and consequences of historical events such as wars, economic recessions, or public health crises could equip policymakers with the knowledge to avoid repeating similar mistakes. While modern life has certainly evolved, the fundamental principles of governance, conflict resolution, and social organization remain profoundly influenced by historical precedents. Moreover, historical study helps preserve cultural identity, ensuring that societies retain a sense of continuity and shared heritage, which is vital for maintaining social cohesion.
In conclusion, although some argue that history is irrelevant to today’s fast-paced and technology-driven world, I believe that it remains a critical source of knowledge that not only provides valuable lessons for addressing current issues but also helps societies preserve their cultural legacy and learn from their past experiences to shape a more informed and progressive future.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Many individuals believe" -> "Many scholars contend"
    Explanation: Replacing "individuals believe" with "scholars contend" elevates the formality and specificity of the statement, aligning it better with academic discourse by emphasizing the scholarly perspective.

  2. "holds little relevance" -> "offers limited relevance"
    Explanation: "Offers limited relevance" is a more precise and formal way to express the idea that something has restricted applicability, which is more suitable for academic writing.

  3. "the past is disconnected" -> "the past is disconnected from"
    Explanation: Adding "from" clarifies the relationship between the past and the present, enhancing the precision of the statement.

  4. "the challenges and advancements of today" -> "the challenges and advancements of contemporary society"
    Explanation: "Contemporary society" is a more specific and formal term than "today," which is vague and informal.

  5. "assert that modern society has evolved" -> "maintain that modern society has evolved"
    Explanation: "Maintain" is a more formal synonym for "assert," which is more appropriate in academic writing.

  6. "outdated" -> "no longer relevant"
    Explanation: "No longer relevant" is a more precise and formal term than "outdated," which can be seen as somewhat colloquial.

  7. "social transformations, and shifts in global dynamics" -> "social transformations and shifts in global dynamics"
    Explanation: Removing the comma after "transformations" corrects the grammatical structure, making the phrase more formal and clear.

  8. "makes lessons from the past less applicable" -> "renders historical lessons less applicable"
    Explanation: "Renders" is a more formal verb choice than "makes," and "historical lessons" is a more precise term than "lessons from the past."

  9. "the complexities of the current world" -> "the complexities of contemporary society"
    Explanation: "Contemporary society" is a more specific and formal term than "the current world," which is vague and informal.

  10. "require innovative approaches" -> "demand innovative approaches"
    Explanation: "Demand" is a stronger, more formal verb than "require," which is suitable for emphasizing the urgency and necessity of change in academic contexts.

  11. "diverge from historical frameworks" -> "depart from historical frameworks"
    Explanation: "Depart" is a more formal synonym for "diverge," fitting better in academic language.

  12. "crucial for making informed decisions" -> "essential for informed decision-making"
    Explanation: "Essential for informed decision-making" is a more formal and precise phrase, enhancing the academic tone.

  13. "allowing people to learn from past successes and failures" -> "enabling individuals to learn from past successes and failures"
    Explanation: "Enabling" is a more formal verb than "allowing," and "individuals" is a more precise term than "people" in formal writing.

  14. "could equip policymakers with the knowledge" -> "could empower policymakers with the necessary knowledge"
    Explanation: "Empower" is a more formal and powerful verb than "equip," and "necessary" adds specificity to the knowledge being discussed.

  15. "fundamental principles of governance, conflict resolution, and social organization" -> "fundamental principles of governance, conflict resolution, and societal organization"
    Explanation: "Societal organization" is a more precise and formal term than "social organization," aligning better with academic standards.

  16. "helps preserve cultural identity" -> "contributes to the preservation of cultural identity"
    Explanation: "Contributes to the preservation of" is a more formal and precise way to express the role of history in maintaining cultural identity.

  17. "ensuring that societies retain a sense of continuity and shared heritage" -> "ensuring that societies maintain a sense of continuity and shared heritage"
    Explanation: "Maintain" is a more formal synonym for "retain," fitting the academic style better.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the relevance of studying history. The first paragraph outlines the perspective that history is disconnected from contemporary issues, citing rapid technological advancements and modern challenges like climate change as reasons for this belief. The second paragraph presents the opposing view, arguing for the value of historical knowledge in informing present-day decisions. The essay successfully balances these viewpoints before clearly stating the author’s opinion in favor of the latter.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could incorporate more specific examples or case studies that illustrate how historical knowledge has directly influenced modern decision-making. For instance, referencing a specific historical event that shaped current policies could strengthen the argument.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The author maintains a clear position favoring the importance of history throughout the essay. The opinion is explicitly stated in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion, providing a cohesive argument. The use of phrases like "I would argue" and "I believe" reinforces the author’s stance.
    • How to improve: While the position is clear, the essay could benefit from more explicit transitions between the discussion of both views and the author’s opinion. Phrases that signal a shift from presenting opposing views to stating personal beliefs could enhance clarity.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents and extends ideas well, particularly in the second paragraph, where it elaborates on how historical knowledge can inform current decisions. The mention of political, economic, and social challenges provides a broad context for the argument. However, some points, such as the preservation of cultural identity, could be further developed with examples or explanations to strengthen the argument.
    • How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the author could include more detailed examples or statistics that illustrate the impact of historical knowledge on contemporary issues. This would not only substantiate the claims but also engage the reader more effectively.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing both perspectives on the relevance of history and the author’s opinion without deviating into unrelated areas. Each paragraph contributes to the overall argument, maintaining relevance to the prompt.
    • How to improve: While the essay is generally on topic, ensuring that every point made directly ties back to the central question can enhance coherence. The author could explicitly link each argument back to the question of relevance, reinforcing the connection between historical study and contemporary life.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and presents a well-structured argument. With some enhancements in examples, transitions, and elaboration on supporting ideas, it could reach an even higher level of clarity and depth.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay is well-structured, presenting a clear argument that contrasts two perspectives on the relevance of history. The introduction effectively outlines the two viewpoints, followed by well-defined body paragraphs that explore each side. The first paragraph discusses the arguments against the relevance of history, while the second paragraph supports the idea that history is valuable. This logical progression aids the reader in following the argument. However, the transition between the two viewpoints could be slightly more explicit to enhance clarity.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly signal the shift from one viewpoint to the other. For example, phrases like "In contrast" or "Conversely" can help clarify the transition and reinforce the comparative nature of the discussion.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs delve into the differing opinions, and the conclusion summarizes the argument. Each paragraph is cohesive and maintains a clear focus, which contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: While the paragraphing is effective, consider ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. This will not only enhance clarity but also guide the reader through the argument more effectively. For instance, starting the second body paragraph with a sentence like "Supporters of studying history argue that…" would provide a clear indication of the paragraph’s focus.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "on the one hand," "conversely," and "moreover," which help to connect ideas and maintain the flow of the argument. These devices effectively guide the reader through the contrasting viewpoints. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded to further enhance the essay’s fluidity.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating additional linking words and phrases that indicate cause and effect, contrast, and addition. For example, using "however," "in addition," or "as a result" can help create more nuanced connections between ideas. Additionally, varying sentence structures can also contribute to a more engaging reading experience.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially reaching a band score of 9. Overall, the essay is well-structured and effectively communicates the argument, making it a strong response to the prompt.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, utilizing terms such as "contemporary," "insights," "navigate," and "cultural identity." Phrases like "rapid technological innovations" and "unprecedented challenges" showcase the writer’s ability to articulate complex ideas effectively. However, there are instances where synonyms could have been employed to avoid repetition, such as using "significant" multiple times.
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate more varied synonyms and expressions. For example, instead of repeating "significant advantages," alternatives like "notable benefits" or "considerable merits" could be used. Additionally, exploring idiomatic expressions or academic phrases could further enrich the essay.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary accurately, with phrases like "inform present-day decisions" and "navigate political, economic, and social challenges" effectively conveying the intended meaning. However, the phrase "contend with the point" is slightly awkward and may confuse readers, as "contend" typically implies opposition rather than agreement.
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should ensure that word choices align with their intended meaning. In this case, replacing "contend with the point" with "argue against the point" would clarify the stance. Additionally, reviewing vocabulary for nuances in meaning can help avoid misinterpretation.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "relevance," "obsolete," and "continuity" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of English spelling conventions.
    • How to improve: While spelling is already strong, the writer can maintain this level of accuracy by consistently proofreading their work. Utilizing tools like spell checkers or engaging in regular writing practice can also help reinforce spelling skills. Furthermore, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words can be beneficial for future essays.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, achieving a Band Score of 8. By diversifying vocabulary, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can further elevate their writing quality.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, phrases like "Conversely, I would side with those who maintain that history serves as valuable knowledge" and "the complexities of the current world, characterized by unprecedented challenges such as climate change and global pandemics" showcase effective use of subordinate clauses and descriptive phrases. The use of transitions such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" further enhances the coherence and flow of ideas.
    • How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, using participial phrases or conditional clauses could add depth. Instead of starting sentences with "I would argue," try beginning with a phrase like "Given the evidence presented," which can create a more engaging opening. Additionally, varying the length of sentences can create a more dynamic rhythm in the writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits strong grammatical accuracy, with few errors. For example, the phrase "the past is disconnected from the challenges and advancements of today" is grammatically sound. However, there are minor issues, such as the phrase "those who contend with the point that studying history offers no significant advantages," which could be more clearly stated as "those who contend that studying history offers no significant advantages." Punctuation is mostly accurate, but there are opportunities to enhance clarity, such as ensuring commas are used correctly to separate clauses.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on clarity in expression. Review sentences for potential ambiguity and rephrase them for straightforwardness. For punctuation, ensure that commas are used to separate independent clauses effectively, especially in longer sentences. Practicing sentence diagramming can help identify areas where punctuation may be lacking or where sentence structure could be improved. Additionally, proofreading for common grammatical pitfalls, such as subject-verb agreement and proper use of conjunctions, can enhance overall accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

Many individuals believe that studying history offers limited relevance for contemporary life, as they argue that the past is disconnected from the challenges and advancements of today. Conversely, I align with those who maintain that history serves as a valuable source of information, providing insights that could inform present-day decisions.

On the one hand, those who contend that studying history offers no significant advantages assert that modern society has evolved far beyond the conditions of the past, rendering historical knowledge no longer relevant. Along with rapid technological innovations, social transformations and shifts in global dynamics have created an entirely different context for human progress, making lessons from the past less applicable. Furthermore, the complexities of the current world, characterized by unprecedented challenges such as climate change and global pandemics, demand innovative approaches that depart from historical frameworks.

On the other hand, I would argue that history is a valuable source of information that is essential for informed decision-making in the present. History offers insights into how societies have navigated political, economic, and social challenges, enabling individuals to learn from past successes and failures. Understanding the causes and consequences of historical events such as wars, economic recessions, or public health crises could empower policymakers with the necessary knowledge to avoid repeating similar mistakes. While modern life has certainly evolved, the fundamental principles of governance, conflict resolution, and societal organization remain profoundly influenced by historical precedents. Moreover, the study of history contributes to the preservation of cultural identity, ensuring that societies maintain a sense of continuity and shared heritage, which is vital for social cohesion.

In conclusion, although some argue that history is irrelevant to today’s fast-paced and technology-driven world, I believe that it remains a critical source of knowledge that not only provides valuable lessons for addressing current issues but also helps societies preserve their cultural legacy and learn from their past experiences to shape a more informed and progressive future.

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