Some people think that children should begin their education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that children should begin their education at a very
early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

people hold differing views about whether why children should begin their education at a very early age and should begin at least 7 years old. While people believe that begin at a very earlu age has favorable aspects, i would argue that the positive features of at least 7 years old are greater, therrefore, be fostered

on the one hand, therre arre several main reasons wwhy it iss arrgued that individuals should early learn. Firstly, early childhood education is not only babysitting or providing basic supervision but it is a formalized approach to education that recognizes the criticial period of a child’s brain development during early years. Academic subjects and developing essential life skills will be provided, encompass with problem-solving, communication and collaboration. By skilled educators who assist children in implementing age-appropriate curriculm and teaching methods which depends on children needs so that it facillitates improving cognitive and emotional growth. For example, kids can learn various skills through manipulating puzzle pieces and how to fit them together, including squatial skills, logic reasoning skills and analyze patterns. Finally, the skills and knowledge during their early years lay a groundwork that propels them toward academic succes in later years.

On the other hand, t still hold the opinion that later learning brings more beneifits and should be prompted. Intially, in contemporary society is not always equitable, disadvantaged communications often facing barries who do not have enough money for preparing early child education because the price of former education almost highest. Secondly, some avocates think that delaying formal education until aroung age 7 allows children to begin their academic journey when they are developmentally more prepared. Stimultenously, staring formal education at a later age can potentially reduce stress and anxiety for both children and their families. For instance, in social media some articles provide serious information about depression children because of peers stress and it can lead to put an end to their life. Particularly, delaying formal educaton allows children to enjoy a more extended period of childhood. Additionally, parents also play a vital role in development children’s progress. They become partners through actively listening and responding to their child’s thoughts and ideas in mealtimes or running errands which facilitates reinforce important skills at home, create a suppportive and enriching environment. In BBC news say that actions and words of parents can help fostering positive children’s language and cognitive thinking so that if offsprings do not go to school at a very early age, they also can learn from their families

On balance, although many people think that they can reup contless benefits when beginning study at early age, i am strongly conviced that later age has greater merits, and should be encourgaed

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"people hold differing views about whether why" -> "people hold differing views on whether"
Explanation: The phrase "whether why" is grammatically incorrect. Using "on whether" corrects the prepositional phrase, aligning with formal academic language.
"begin at least 7 years old" -> "begin at least 7 years of age"
Explanation: "Years old" is a more natural and correct phrase in this context, as it refers to the age of the children.
"begin at a very earlu age" -> "begin at a very early age"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "earlu" to "early," ensuring the text is free of typos.
"therrefore, be fostered" -> "therefore, they should be fostered"
Explanation: "Therrefore" is a typographical error; "therefore" is the correct word. Also, "be fostered" should be "they should be fostered" to maintain subject-verb agreement.
"therre arre" -> "there are"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling errors in "therre" to "there" and "arre" to "are."
"wwhy" -> "why"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "wwhy" to "why."
"iss arrgued" -> "is argued"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling errors in "iss" to "is" and "arrrgued" to "argued."
"encompass with" -> "encompass"
Explanation: "Encompass with" is redundant; "encompass" alone is sufficient and more formal.
"curriculm" -> "curriculum"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "curriculm" to "curriculum."
"facillitates" -> "facilitates"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "facillitates" to "facilitates."
"squatial skills" -> "spatial skills"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "squatial" to "spatial."
"t still hold the opinion" -> "I still hold the opinion"
Explanation: Changes "t" to "I" to correct the subject-verb agreement and maintain personal pronoun consistency.
"beneifits" -> "benefits"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "beneifits" to "benefits."
"Intially" -> "Initially"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "Intially" to "Initially."
"disadvantaged communications" -> "disadvantaged communities"
Explanation: Corrects the misuse of "communications" to "communities," which is the correct term.
"barries" -> "barriers"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "barries" to "barriers."
"former education almost highest" -> "former education is almost the highest"
Explanation: Adds the verb "is" to complete the sentence structure and corrects the phrase for grammatical accuracy.
"avocates" -> "advocates"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "avocates" to "advocates."
"arround" -> "around"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "arround" to "around."
"Stimultenously" -> "Simultaneously"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "Stimultenously" to "Simultaneously."
"staring" -> "starting"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "staring" to "starting."
"delaying formal education at a later age" -> "delaying formal education until a later age"
Explanation: Adds "until" to clarify the timing of the action.
"mealtimes or running errands" -> "mealtimes or during errands"
Explanation: "During" is more appropriate than "or" in this context, indicating simultaneous actions.
"suppportive" -> "supportive"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "suppportive" to "supportive."
"offsprings" -> "offspring"
Explanation: Corrects the plural form "offsprings" to the singular "offspring."
"reup contless benefits" -> "reap countless benefits"
Explanation: Corrects the verb "reup" to "reap," which is the correct verb form in this context.
"encourgaed" -> "encouraged"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "encourgaed" to "encouraged."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding the starting age for education, presenting arguments for early education as well as for starting at age seven. The writer effectively outlines the benefits of both perspectives, such as cognitive development in early childhood and the potential for reduced stress when starting later. However, the discussion could be more balanced; the arguments for early education are more developed than those for starting at age seven. For instance, while the benefits of early education are elaborated with examples, the counterarguments lack depth and specific examples.
- How to improve: To enhance the balance, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and evidence for the advantages of starting education at age seven. This could involve citing studies or statistics that illustrate the long-term benefits of delayed formal education or discussing specific skills that can be better developed during this later stage.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer states a clear position in favor of starting education at age seven, particularly in the conclusion. However, the position is somewhat muddled in the body paragraphs, where the arguments for early education are presented with considerable enthusiasm, which may lead to confusion about the writer’s stance. Phrases like "I would argue" and "I am strongly convinced" indicate a personal opinion, but the overall tone sometimes suggests ambivalence.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should consistently reinforce their stance throughout the essay. This can be achieved by using transitional phrases that clearly indicate when they are presenting their opinion versus discussing the opposing view. Additionally, reiterating the main argument in each paragraph would help solidify the position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding both sides of the argument. The points made about early education are well-supported with explanations about cognitive development and skills acquisition. However, the arguments for starting education later are less developed and lack specific supporting evidence. For example, while the mention of stress and anxiety in children is relevant, it would be more impactful if backed by specific studies or statistics.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to extend and support ideas more robustly, especially for the arguments favoring delayed education. This could involve integrating research findings, expert opinions, or real-world examples that illustrate the benefits of starting education later. Additionally, ensuring that each point is clearly linked back to the main argument will enhance coherence.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the two viewpoints regarding the age at which children should start their education. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, such as when discussing parental involvement. While relevant, this point could be more directly tied to the main argument of education timing.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate to the central question of when education should begin. It may be helpful to outline the essay before writing to ensure that each paragraph contributes to answering the prompt. Additionally, avoiding tangential discussions will help keep the essay concise and on track.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, improvements in balance, clarity of position, support for ideas, and focus on the topic will enhance the overall quality and potentially raise the band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. The arguments for early education are presented first, followed by the counterargument for starting education at age 7. This organization helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the logical flow is occasionally disrupted by unclear phrasing and grammatical errors, which can confuse the reader. For example, phrases like "the positive features of at least 7 years old are greater, therefore, be fostered" lack clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer should focus on clearer sentence construction and avoid convoluted phrases. Using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help guide the reader through the argument. Additionally, ensuring that each point is fully developed before moving on to the next will strengthen the overall coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for clarity. Each paragraph addresses a distinct viewpoint, making it easier for the reader to follow the discussion. However, some paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and smoother transitions between ideas. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits of early education to the drawbacks of it could be more fluid.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, the writer should start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. Adding transitional phrases between sentences and paragraphs can also help create a smoother flow of ideas. For example, using phrases like "Conversely" or "In contrast" can enhance the connection between opposing viewpoints.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "on the one hand" and "on the other hand," to signal contrasting views. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and there are instances where the use of conjunctions and linking words is awkward or incorrect, which detracts from the overall coherence. For example, phrases like "therre arre several main reasons wwhy it iss arrgued" are not only grammatically incorrect but also disrupt the flow of the argument.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "moreover," "however," and "in addition." Practicing the use of these devices in context can help improve fluency and coherence. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy will enhance the effectiveness of cohesive devices.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents coherent arguments, improvements in clarity, logical flow, and the use of cohesive devices will elevate the overall quality of the writing. Focusing on these areas will help achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in vocabulary, such as "favorable aspects," "cognitive and emotional growth," and "disadvantaged communications." However, there are instances of repetition and limited synonyms, which detracts from the overall range. For example, "early childhood education" is used multiple times without variation.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, consider using synonyms or paraphrasing. For instance, instead of repeating "early childhood education," you could use phrases like "initial schooling" or "pre-primary education." Additionally, incorporating more advanced vocabulary related to education and child development could elevate the essay’s lexical resource.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "the price of former education almost highest," which is unclear and awkwardly phrased. The phrase "disadvantaged communications" is also misleading, as it seems to refer to "disadvantaged communities." Furthermore, "facillitates improving" should be "facilitates improvement."
- How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys your intended meaning. For example, replace "former education" with "early education" and clarify "disadvantaged communities" instead of "communications." Always ensure that phrases are grammatically correct and contextually appropriate.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous spelling errors, such as "earlu" (early), "therre" (there), "arrgued" (argued), "curriculm" (curriculum), "facillitates" (facilitates), "squatial" (spatial), "succes" (success), "beneifits" (benefits), "aroung" (around), "Stimultenously" (Simultaneously), "educaton" (education), "conviced" (convinced), and "encourgaed" (encouraged). These errors hinder readability and comprehension.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After writing, take a break and then review your essay for spelling errors. Additionally, using spell-check tools or apps can help identify and correct mistakes before submission. Regular practice with vocabulary lists and flashcards can also reinforce correct spelling.

By addressing these areas—expanding vocabulary range, improving precision, and enhancing spelling accuracy—the overall quality of the essay can be significantly improved, potentially leading to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" indicate an attempt to structure arguments clearly. However, the overall range is limited, with many sentences being overly simplistic or repetitive. For example, the sentence "people hold differing views about whether why children should begin their education at a very early age and should begin at least 7 years old" is awkwardly constructed and could be simplified or restructured for clarity.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider using more complex sentences that incorporate subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "early childhood education is not only babysitting," you could say, "While some may view early childhood education merely as babysitting, it actually encompasses a formalized approach to learning." Additionally, practice varying sentence beginnings and lengths to create a more engaging rhythm in your writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For example, "therre arre several main reasons wwhy it iss arrgued that individuals should early learn" contains multiple spelling errors and awkward phrasing. Furthermore, punctuation is often missing or misused, such as in "For example, kids can learn various skills through manipulating puzzle pieces and how to fit them together, including squatial skills, logic reasoning skills and analyze patterns," where a comma is needed before "and" in a list.
- How to improve: Focus on proofreading your work to catch spelling and grammatical errors. Utilize grammar-checking tools to identify mistakes. Additionally, practice writing sentences that are grammatically correct and punctuated properly. For example, ensure subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles, as in "the price of former education almost highest" should be revised to "the price of early education is often the highest." Regular practice and feedback can help improve these areas significantly.

In summary, while the essay attempts to address the prompt and presents both sides of the argument, it suffers from limited grammatical range and accuracy. By diversifying sentence structures and focusing on grammatical correctness, the overall quality of writing can be significantly enhanced.

Bài sửa mẫu

People hold differing views on whether children should begin their education at a very early age or at least 7 years old. While some believe that starting education early has favorable aspects, I would argue that the positive features of beginning at 7 years old are greater; therefore, they should be fostered.

On the one hand, there are several main reasons why it is argued that individuals should learn early. Firstly, early childhood education is not merely babysitting or providing basic supervision; it is a formalized approach to education that recognizes the critical period of a child’s brain development during their early years. Academic subjects and essential life skills are provided, encompassing problem-solving, communication, and collaboration. Skilled educators assist children in implementing age-appropriate curricula and teaching methods that depend on children’s needs, which facilitates cognitive and emotional growth. For example, kids can learn various skills through manipulating puzzle pieces and fitting them together, including spatial skills, logical reasoning, and pattern analysis. Finally, the skills and knowledge acquired during their early years lay a groundwork that propels them toward academic success in later years.

On the other hand, I still hold the opinion that later learning brings more benefits and should be encouraged. Initially, contemporary society is not always equitable; disadvantaged communities often face barriers due to insufficient funds for early childhood education, as the cost of formal education is almost the highest. Secondly, some advocates believe that delaying formal education until around age 7 allows children to begin their academic journey when they are developmentally more prepared. Simultaneously, starting formal education at a later age can potentially reduce stress and anxiety for both children and their families. For instance, some articles on social media provide serious information about children’s depression due to peer stress, which can even lead to tragic outcomes. Particularly, delaying formal education allows children to enjoy a more extended period of childhood. Additionally, parents play a vital role in their children’s development. They become partners by actively listening and responding to their child’s thoughts and ideas during mealtimes or while running errands, which facilitates the reinforcement of important skills at home and creates a supportive and enriching environment. According to BBC News, the actions and words of parents can help foster positive language and cognitive thinking in children, so if offspring do not attend school at a very early age, they can still learn from their families.

On balance, although many people think that they can reap countless benefits from starting education at an early age, I am strongly convinced that beginning at a later age has greater merits and should be encouraged.