some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university education and that the goverment should makie it free for all student no matter what financial background

it is proposed that the institutions are responsible for providing for all student that is not regarless of their economic background ,is the best way to promote mutual national growth ,since when students access to learning will enrich the workface leading to develop economy .i personally understand these opposing views and will explain why free tuition create a big contribution to nation.
It is understandable that why some might subscribe to the viewpont that the budget of education should be allocated equally is to promote the growing economy for nation ,as when pupils approach to academic environment where will promise giving stable job and potential finance could the level of learning of student leading to the extension for market .for example , individual is equipped well-rounded education will increase more opportunities and foster significant achievements .addtionally , the level of social gap will be decreased .when the budget is provided despite the barren of individual’s finance will create a equal society ,ultimately leading to the comprehensive development for city .

However , those who advocate argue that the provided funding equally will decrease the consciousness of students.since normally , they have to effort diligently to competent with other student to gain advance admission , if the budget is not matter will create a subjective purpose which pupils might not concentrate on learning as it is free ,they do not get lost .
Beside the disadvantages of funding equally , it will put a heavy burden on the government’budget , as the comunitical budget is limited , consumed mainly the society ‘common problems .and instead of investing the education , there are many crucial issues playing a pivotal thriving city such as infrastructure , medical field , poverty .

Nervertheless , whether investing in the education by allocating a funding freely will determine the tremendous development of education or promoting abudance of workforce .
In my point of view , it depents on the consciousness and efforts of people .In fact , -non educated individuals have more career opportunities than well rounded -educated people .due to their efforts which means despite the large boundary of money ,they still learn and study academic documents hard -working rather than some individuals just rely on the family’budget

In conclusion , I believe that the allocated funding equally totally can not promote the mutual growing of nation that it mainly bases on the efforts of individuals on approaching educations

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"that is not regarless" -> "irrespective"
Explanation: "Irrespective of their economic background" is a more formal and precise phrase than "that is not regardless."
"enrich the workface" -> "enhance the workforce"
Explanation: "Enhance the workforce" is a standard phrase in academic and formal contexts, conveying the idea more clearly than "enrich the workface."
"create a big contribution" -> "make a significant contribution"
Explanation: "Make a significant contribution" is a more precise and formal way to express the impact of free tuition.
"subscribe to the viewpont" -> "subscribe to the viewpoint"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling to "viewpoint" maintains proper formal language.
"approach to academic environment where will promise giving" -> "enter an academic environment that promises to provide"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the sentence structure and maintains formal language.
"pupils approach to academic environment where will promise giving" -> "students entering an academic environment that promises to provide"
Explanation: Using "students" instead of "pupils" and adjusting the sentence structure improves clarity and formality.
"advocate argue" -> "advocate argues"
Explanation: Correcting the verb agreement makes the sentence grammatically accurate.
"barren of individual’s finance" -> "lack of individual finances"
Explanation: "Lack of individual finances" is a more formal and precise phrase than "barren of individual’s finance."
"create a equal society" -> "create an equal society"
Explanation: Correcting the article "a" to "an" improves grammatical accuracy.
"determine the tremendous development of education or promoting abudance" -> "determine whether it promotes tremendous development in education or an abundance"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and using "an abundance" instead of "abudance" improves readability.
"-non educated individuals" -> "non-educated individuals"
Explanation: Adding a hyphen is not necessary in this context; "non-educated" is the correct form.
"well rounded -educated people" -> "well-rounded, educated people"
Explanation: Adding a comma after "well-rounded" clarifies the adjective phrase.
"boundary of money" -> "financial constraints"
Explanation: "Financial constraints" is a more formal and precise term than "boundary of money."
"they still learn and study academic documents hard -working" -> "they still study academic materials diligently"
Explanation: "Diligently" is a more formal and appropriate adverb than "hard-working" in this context.
"just rely on the family’budget" -> "simply rely on their family’s budget"
Explanation: Using "simply" and correcting the possessive form to "family’s budget" improves the sentence structure and formality.

These changes help align the essay with academic style and formal language while maintaining clarity and precision.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address all parts of the question by discussing both perspectives on whether university education should be made free for all students regardless of financial background. It acknowledges the opposing viewpoints and offers reasons supporting the idea of free tuition.
- How to improve: To improve, ensure a more thorough analysis of each perspective, providing specific examples or evidence to support arguments. Additionally, clearly state the position taken in response to the prompt to avoid ambiguity.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a somewhat clear position throughout, favoring the idea of free tuition but also acknowledging potential drawbacks. However, there are instances where the position could be clearer, especially in the conclusion.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, explicitly state the position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph aligns with this position and provides coherent reasoning.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks in-depth development and support. While it mentions potential benefits and drawbacks of free tuition, it could benefit from further elaboration and concrete examples to strengthen arguments.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation of ideas, provide specific examples, statistics, or anecdotes to support claims. Also, ensure a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, with clear topic sentences and supporting details in each paragraph.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the pros and cons of making university education free for all students. However, there are moments of tangential discussion, such as mentioning career opportunities for non-educated individuals.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, avoid straying into unrelated topics. Stick to discussing the implications and feasibility of free university education for all students, ensuring each point directly relates to the main argument.

Overall, while the essay adequately addresses the prompt and presents arguments on both sides of the issue, it could benefit from clearer positioning, more thorough development of ideas, and tighter focus to improve coherence and effectiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a somewhat logical organization by presenting opposing views on the topic in separate paragraphs. However, the flow of ideas within paragraphs and between them is often disrupted due to unclear transitions and abrupt shifts in focus. For instance, the introduction attempts to outline both perspectives but lacks coherence in connecting these ideas smoothly. Additionally, the conclusion introduces new arguments not adequately supported in the body paragraphs, leading to a disjointed structure.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider structuring the essay more cohesively. Start by clearly introducing the topic in the introduction, providing a brief overview of the main arguments to follow. Each body paragraph should focus on one main idea, with clear topic sentences and supporting details. Use transitional phrases to smoothly connect ideas between paragraphs and ensure that the conclusion summarizes the key points without introducing new arguments.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs to organize ideas, but their effectiveness is limited due to issues with structure and coherence. Each paragraph should ideally present a distinct idea or argument, but some paragraphs lack focus and coherence. For example, the second paragraph discusses the benefits of free education, but the points presented lack clarity and are not well-developed. Furthermore, the paragraphing does not always follow a logical progression of ideas, leading to a disjointed presentation.
- How to improve: Improve paragraph structure by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. Develop the supporting points coherently within each paragraph, providing examples or explanations where necessary. Consider using transitional phrases to guide the reader through the progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next, creating a smoother flow of information.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay makes some attempts to use cohesive devices to connect ideas, but their usage is inconsistent and often ineffective. Cohesive devices such as transitional words and phrases (e.g., "however," "nevertheless," "besides") are used sporadically, resulting in a lack of cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, the repetition of certain phrases and ideas without adequate variation further hampers the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve cohesion, focus on incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices consistently throughout the essay. Use transition words and phrases to indicate relationships between ideas (e.g., cause and effect, contrast, addition). Additionally, vary sentence structures and vocabulary to avoid repetitive language and enhance clarity. Revising the essay to ensure that cohesive devices are used effectively will help to create a more cohesive and coherent piece of writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, encompassing both general and domain-specific terms related to the topic of education and government funding. For instance, terms such as "institutions," "academic environment," "well-rounded education," "consciousness," "advocate," and "allocated funding" are appropriately used to convey the writer’s ideas.
- How to improve: While the essay showcases a strong vocabulary, incorporating more varied and sophisticated vocabulary could further enhance the depth and nuance of the arguments presented. Introducing more diverse synonyms, idiomatic expressions, or technical terms related to education policy and economics could enrich the lexical variety of the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with reasonable precision, effectively conveying the writer’s intended meaning. However, there are instances where word choice could be more precise to avoid ambiguity or imprecision. For example, phrases like "individual is equipped well-rounded education" could be clarified to enhance precision and coherence.
- How to improve: To improve precision, it’s advisable to carefully select vocabulary that accurately reflects the intended message. Avoid ambiguous or vague terms that could potentially obscure the writer’s argument. Revising sentences for clarity and coherence can also contribute to more precise vocabulary usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy in the essay is generally acceptable, with only a few minor errors observed. However, there are instances of misspellings and typographical errors, such as "comunitical" (should be "communal"), "abudance" (should be "abundance"), and "Nervertheless" (should be "Nevertheless"). These errors, while not pervasive, slightly detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, employing proofreading techniques such as spell-checking software or reading the essay aloud can help identify and correct spelling errors. Additionally, paying closer attention to commonly misspelled words and practicing consistent spelling habits can further mitigate these issues.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a strong grasp of vocabulary and generally maintains acceptable spelling accuracy, there is room for improvement in terms of precision and lexical variety. By refining vocabulary choices and ensuring consistent spelling accuracy, the writer can enhance the overall effectiveness and professionalism of their writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. It includes simple, compound, and complex sentences, albeit with some errors. For instance, there are instances of sentence fragments, such as "addtionally," and awkward phrasing, such as "beside the disadvantages of funding equally." While the essay attempts to vary its structures, it could benefit from a greater diversity to enhance readability and coherence.
- How to improve: To improve the range of structures, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider variety of sentence types, including complex and compound-complex sentences. Additionally, paying attention to transitions between sentences can improve the flow of ideas. Avoiding sentence fragments and ensuring clarity in phrasing will also enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors throughout the text. These errors include subject-verb agreement issues ("those who advocate argue"), tense inconsistencies ("they do not get lost"), and punctuation errors (missing commas, incorrect apostrophe usage). While the writer attempts to convey complex ideas, the execution is hindered by these grammatical inaccuracies.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on reviewing and practicing key grammar rules, particularly those related to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and punctuation usage. Utilizing grammar-checking tools and seeking feedback from peers or instructors can also help identify and correct errors more effectively. Additionally, paying closer attention to sentence structure and phrasing can contribute to clearer communication of ideas.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is proposed that institutions should provide access to education for all students, irrespective of their economic background, as it is believed to be the best way to promote mutual national growth. This is because when students have access to education, it enhances the workforce, leading to economic development. I understand these opposing views and will explain why free tuition can make a significant contribution to the nation.

It is understandable why some might advocate for equal allocation of education budget to promote economic growth. When students enter an academic environment that promises to provide stable jobs and potential financial stability, their level of learning increases, leading to market expansion. For example, individuals equipped with a well-rounded education have more opportunities and achieve significant success. Additionally, reducing the social gap by providing budget despite individual financial constraints creates a more equal society, ultimately leading to comprehensive city development.

However, those who argue against equal funding suggest that it might decrease students’ consciousness. Normally, students must diligently work to compete for advanced admission. If the budget is not a factor, it may create a lack of focus on learning since it is free. Besides the disadvantages of equal funding, it will burden the government’s budget heavily, as communal funds are limited and primarily used for common societal problems. Instead of investing in education, other crucial issues such as infrastructure, healthcare, and poverty need attention.

Nevertheless, whether investing in education by allocating free funding will promote tremendous development in education or an abundance of workforce depends on the consciousness and efforts of individuals. In fact, non-educated individuals often have more career opportunities than well-rounded, educated people due to their diligent study habits, despite financial constraints, while some individuals simply rely on their family’s budget.

In conclusion, I believe that allocating funding equally cannot solely promote mutual national growth, as it primarily relies on individuals’ efforts in pursuing education.