Some people think that hosting international sports events is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Many argue that hosting international sports events is beneficial for the nation, while others would contend the opposite. In my opinion, although such events could have negative impacts on the environment and increase criminal rates, they positively contribute to the nation’s economic growth, which is decidedly positive on the whole.
On the one hand, large-scale consumption from international sports events could pose a serious threat to the environment. The environmental pollution is because a vast number of fans consume many products and often leave waste at the stadium. This can be seen in World Cup 2014 in Brazil, after finishing the event, they witnessed an enormous amount of waste both inside and outside the stadium. Another drawback of hosting international events is the potential increase in criminal rates. Many thieves may take advantage of this opportunity to integrate the crowd to easily steal viewers’ property ranging from phones to money, which can lead to social disorder.
On the other hand, hosting global sports events can significantly stimulate the nation’s economic growth. Many fans traveling to support their favorite athletes often need to allocate their money towards accommodation and meals, which would generate substantial streams of income for local businesses, hotels, or restaurants. In addition, being the host of international sports events could be a great opportunity for countries to gain global exposure. The nation can attract numerous visitors to the country’s tourist hotspots and explore their local cuisines, potentially boosting tourism in the long term. For example, SEA Games 23 was held in Vietnam, many foreigners were captivated by the ancient beauty of Hoan Kiem Lake. This exposure helped raise Vietnam’s image and also fostered curiosity among other visitors. As a result, the tourism sector will rapidly grow if that nation hosts international sports events.
In conclusion, although hosting international sports events may pose environmental challenges and increase crime rates, it also offers a significant opportunity for economic growth, which is unequivocally positive overall.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Many argue" -> "Many scholars argue"
Explanation: Replacing "Many argue" with "Many scholars argue" specifies the source of the argument, enhancing the academic tone by implying a more informed and authoritative perspective.
"would contend the opposite" -> "would argue against"
Explanation: "Would argue against" is more direct and academically precise than "would contend the opposite," which can sound somewhat informal and vague.
"decidedly positive on the whole" -> "overwhelmingly positive"
Explanation: "Overwhelmingly positive" is a more precise and formal way to express a strong, all-encompassing positivity, fitting better in an academic context.
"large-scale consumption" -> "massive consumption"
Explanation: "Massive" is a more precise and formal term than "large-scale," which can be somewhat vague and less specific.
"The environmental pollution is because" -> "The environmental pollution results from"
Explanation: "Results from" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "is because," which is less formal and can be seen as colloquial.
"a vast number of fans consume many products" -> "a large number of fans consume numerous products"
Explanation: "Numerous" is more precise and formal than "many," and it fits better in an academic context.
"often leave waste at the stadium" -> "frequently dispose of waste at the stadium"
Explanation: "Dispose of" is a more specific and formal verb than "leave," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"Many thieves may take advantage of this opportunity" -> "Numerous opportunistic individuals may exploit this situation"
Explanation: "Numerous opportunistic individuals" and "exploit" are more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone.
"integrate the crowd" -> "blend in with the crowd"
Explanation: "Blend in with" is a more accurate description of how thieves might operate, as "integrate" implies a more positive or active role.
"often need to allocate their money" -> "frequently need to allocate their funds"
Explanation: "Funds" is a more formal term than "money," which is typically less formal in academic writing.
"substantial streams of income" -> "substantial revenue streams"
Explanation: "Revenue streams" is a more specific and formal term than "streams of income," which is somewhat vague.
"could be a great opportunity" -> "could represent a significant opportunity"
Explanation: "Represent" is more formal and precise than "be," and "significant" is preferred over "great" for academic writing.
"many foreigners were captivated by the ancient beauty of Hoan Kiem Lake" -> "numerous foreign visitors were drawn to the historic beauty of Hoan Kiem Lake"
Explanation: "Drawn to" is more precise and formal than "captivated by," and "historic" is more specific than "ancient," which can imply a broader time period.
"the tourism sector will rapidly grow" -> "the tourism sector is likely to experience significant growth"
Explanation: "Is likely to experience significant growth" is more formal and avoids the colloquial tone of "will rapidly grow," which is less precise and less formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the hosting of international sports events. The first paragraph outlines the negative aspects, including environmental concerns and increased crime rates, while the second paragraph discusses the positive economic impacts and tourism benefits. This balanced approach demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the prompt. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the opposing view in the conclusion, which currently leans slightly towards the positive side without fully summarizing the negative aspects.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, ensure that both views are equally represented in the conclusion. Consider briefly summarizing the key points made about the negative impacts before stating the overall opinion. This will reinforce the balanced nature of the discussion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that hosting international sports events is beneficial overall, despite acknowledging the drawbacks. The opinion is stated clearly in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion. However, the phrase "which is decidedly positive on the whole" could be interpreted as overly strong, given the valid concerns raised about environmental and social issues.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, consider softening the language in the conclusion. Instead of stating that the economic benefits are "decidedly positive," you could say they are "significantly beneficial" or "largely advantageous," which allows for a more nuanced view that acknowledges the complexity of the issue.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, particularly in the discussion of economic growth and tourism. The use of specific examples, such as the World Cup in Brazil and the SEA Games in Vietnam, adds depth to the arguments. However, the environmental and crime rate arguments could be further developed with more specific examples or statistics to strengthen the claims.
- How to improve: To improve the support for the negative aspects, consider including a statistic related to environmental impact or crime rates during major sporting events. This would provide a more robust foundation for the claims and enhance the overall persuasiveness of the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing both the positive and negative aspects of hosting international sports events. Each paragraph clearly relates back to the prompt, and there are no significant deviations from the main topic. The structure is logical, with a clear progression from the introduction to the conclusion.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, ensuring that each point made directly ties back to the implications of hosting international sports events can further enhance clarity. For example, when discussing the economic benefits, explicitly linking these benefits to the overall well-being of the country could provide a more cohesive argument.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates a balanced view on the topic. With minor adjustments to the conclusion, further development of negative points, and enhanced connections between ideas, the essay could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is well-structured, presenting a clear argument that acknowledges both sides of the debate regarding hosting international sports events. The introduction effectively outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the argument, with the first paragraph discussing the negative impacts and the second focusing on the positive contributions. The logical progression from one idea to the next is evident, particularly in how the writer transitions from discussing environmental concerns to economic benefits.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer could include clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that explicitly state the main idea. For example, starting the second paragraph with a sentence like "Despite these challenges, the economic benefits of hosting international sports events cannot be overlooked" would strengthen the connection between the two perspectives.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability and comprehension. Each paragraph is focused on a specific point, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer’s opinion, effectively closing the discussion.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, the writer could enhance the clarity of the argument by ensuring that each paragraph contains a clear and concise topic sentence. Additionally, incorporating a brief summary sentence at the end of each paragraph could help reinforce the main idea before transitioning to the next point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "on the one hand," "on the other hand," and "for example," which help to guide the reader through the argument. The use of these devices contributes to the overall coherence of the essay by clearly delineating contrasting viewpoints and providing examples to support claims.
- How to improve: To further diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, using transitions like "in addition," "furthermore," or "however" could enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, varying the structure of sentences can also improve cohesion; for example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "Many," the writer could use different subjects or introductory phrases to maintain reader interest.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively presenting a balanced view on the topic while maintaining clarity and logical organization. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further elevate the quality of their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "beneficial," "threat," "substantial streams of income," and "global exposure." However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "international sports events" and "the nation." The use of synonyms or varied expressions could enhance the richness of the language.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related phrases to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly saying "international sports events," alternatives like "global sporting competitions" or "worldwide athletic events" could be used. Additionally, using more varied adjectives to describe the impacts (e.g., "significant," "notable," "considerable") would enhance the lexical range.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay includes some precise vocabulary, such as "environmental pollution" and "economic growth." However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "criminal rates," which should be more accurately described as "crime rates." The phrase "decidedly positive on the whole" is also somewhat vague and could be articulated more clearly.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should ensure that terms are used in their correct context. For example, replacing "criminal rates" with "crime rates" would improve clarity. Additionally, instead of saying "decidedly positive on the whole," the writer could specify the benefits more clearly, such as "overall, the economic benefits outweigh the drawbacks."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, with no glaring errors that impede understanding. However, there are minor issues, such as "criminal rates" being used instead of the more appropriate "crime rates," which could lead to confusion in meaning.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices. Utilizing tools such as spell checkers or reading the essay aloud can help catch any overlooked errors. Furthermore, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words in academic writing can also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay achieves a Band Score of 6 for Lexical Resource, there are clear areas for improvement. Expanding vocabulary range, ensuring precise usage, and maintaining spelling accuracy will contribute to a higher score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and compound sentences. For instance, the use of "Although such events could have negative impacts on the environment and increase criminal rates, they positively contribute to the nation’s economic growth" showcases an effective use of a concessive clause. However, there are instances where the sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the phrase "Many argue that hosting international sports events is beneficial for the nation, while others would contend the opposite" could be rephrased to incorporate more varied introductory phrases or clauses to enhance engagement.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider using more introductory phrases, varying the placement of adverbial clauses, and incorporating different sentence types (e.g., rhetorical questions, exclamatory sentences). For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "Many," try beginning with phrases like "It is widely believed that…" or "There is a common perception that…" to create a more dynamic flow.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For example, the phrase "The environmental pollution is because a vast number of fans consume many products" could be more accurately phrased as "Environmental pollution occurs because a vast number of fans consume many products." Additionally, the use of commas is mostly correct, but there are areas where punctuation could enhance clarity, such as in the sentence "This can be seen in World Cup 2014 in Brazil, after finishing the event, they witnessed an enormous amount of waste both inside and outside the stadium," which could be split into two sentences for better readability.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is crucial to proofread for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and article usage. Additionally, practicing the use of punctuation in complex sentences can help clarify meaning. For instance, breaking long sentences into shorter ones can improve clarity and reduce the risk of run-on sentences. Consider revising sentences for conciseness and clarity, ensuring that each sentence conveys its intended meaning without unnecessary complexity.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Many scholars argue that hosting international sports events is beneficial for the nation, while others would contend the opposite. In my opinion, although such events could have negative impacts on the environment and increase crime rates, they positively contribute to the nation’s economic growth, which is overwhelmingly positive on the whole.

On the one hand, massive consumption from international sports events could pose a serious threat to the environment. Environmental pollution results from a large number of fans consuming numerous products and frequently disposing of waste at the stadium. This can be seen in the World Cup 2014 in Brazil; after finishing the event, they witnessed an enormous amount of waste both inside and outside the stadium. Another drawback of hosting international events is the potential increase in crime rates. Numerous opportunistic individuals may exploit this situation to blend in with the crowd and easily steal viewers’ property, ranging from phones to money, which can lead to social disorder.

On the other hand, hosting global sports events can significantly stimulate the nation’s economic growth. Many fans traveling to support their favorite athletes frequently need to allocate their funds towards accommodation and meals, which would generate substantial revenue streams for local businesses, hotels, and restaurants. In addition, being the host of international sports events could represent a significant opportunity for countries to gain global exposure. The nation can attract numerous foreign visitors to the country’s tourist hotspots and explore their local cuisines, potentially boosting tourism in the long term. For example, during SEA Games 23 held in Vietnam, many foreigners were drawn to the historic beauty of Hoan Kiem Lake. This exposure helped raise Vietnam’s image and also fostered curiosity among other visitors. As a result, the tourism sector is likely to experience significant growth if that nation hosts international sports events.

In conclusion, although hosting international sports events may pose environmental challenges and increase crime rates, it also offers a significant opportunity for economic growth, which is unequivocally positive overall.