Some people think that it is worth researching different minerals in space. Others, however, disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is worth researching different minerals in space. Others, however, disagree.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The idea of researching different minerals in space has brooked opposition from certain individuals who view such endeavours as a waste of resources. Meanwhile, many others, including myself, believe that it is entirely justifiable to fund projects aimed at exploring space minerals.

Granted, opponents of space mineral research primarily decry its overwhelming need for resource allocation. Such funds, they claim, may be better off invested into matters of greater urgency on Earth, such as widespread poverty, ongoing famines, or the general lack of access to healthcare and education in certain parts of the world. Furthermore, these detractors also highlight the formidable technical and logistical hurdles of mining in space. The harsh conditions in space, coupled with our current technological limitations, make the extraction and transportation of minerals from celestial bodies highly demanding and uncertain.

These concerns notwithstanding, I concur with those who argue for the potential benefits which space mineral research may yield. First, the discovery and utilisation of these minerals may alleviate mankind’s strain on the Earth’s resources, especially in an age when we are constantly faced with the threat of resource depletion. In addition, the challenges in space mineral exploration can extend our scientific and engineering boundaries, which may in turn lead to advances with possible widespread applications and revolutionise many aspects of our life.

To summarise, while the costs and challenges of space mineral research are by no means insignificant, its potential long-term benefits justify the seemingly intimidating investment. By exploring and utilising resources available beyond our atmosphere, we can secure essential minerals for future generations and drive technological progress.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"brooked opposition" -> "met with opposition"
Explanation: "Brooked" is not a commonly used verb in this context and may be confusing. "Met with opposition" is a more standard and clear expression in academic writing.
"entirely justifiable" -> "entirely justified"
Explanation: "Entirely justifiable" is redundant as "justifiable" already implies justification. Using "entirely justified" avoids redundancy and maintains formal tone.
"decry" -> "criticize"
Explanation: While "decry" is not incorrect, "criticize" is more commonly used in academic contexts to express disapproval or criticism.
"may be better off invested" -> "might be better invested"
Explanation: "May be better off invested" is a bit awkward and verbose. "Might be better invested" simplifies and clarifies the sentence structure.
"matters of greater urgency" -> "issues of greater urgency"
Explanation: "Matters" can be vague and less formal; "issues" is more precise and commonly used in academic writing to refer to problems or concerns.
"ongoing famines" -> "persistent famines"
Explanation: "Ongoing" is correct but "persistent" is more specific and academically precise when describing the nature of famines.
"the general lack of access to healthcare and education" -> "the widespread lack of access to healthcare and education"
Explanation: "General" is vague; "widespread" provides a clearer and more specific description of the extent of the issue.
"the formidable technical and logistical hurdles" -> "the significant technical and logistical challenges"
Explanation: "Hurdles" can be informal and less precise; "challenges" is more commonly used in formal academic writing to describe difficulties.
"make the extraction and transportation of minerals from celestial bodies highly demanding and uncertain" -> "render the extraction and transportation of minerals from celestial bodies highly demanding and uncertain"
Explanation: "Make" is somewhat informal and less precise; "render" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"may alleviate mankind’s strain" -> "may alleviate the strain on"
Explanation: "Mankind’s" is somewhat archaic and less formal; "the strain on" is more contemporary and precise.
"especially in an age when we are constantly faced with the threat of resource depletion" -> "particularly in an era of ongoing resource depletion"
Explanation: "Constantly faced with" is redundant and informal; "in an era of ongoing" is more concise and formal.
"the challenges in space mineral exploration can extend our scientific and engineering boundaries" -> "the challenges in space mineral exploration can expand our scientific and engineering capabilities"
Explanation: "Boundaries" is less specific and can be vague; "capabilities" is more precise and relevant to the context of technological advancements.
"may in turn lead to advances with possible widespread applications and revolutionise many aspects of our life" -> "may lead to advances with potential widespread applications and revolutionize various aspects of our lives"
Explanation: "May in turn lead" is awkwardly phrased; "may lead" is simpler and clearer. "Various aspects of our lives" is more formal than "many aspects of our life."

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the research of minerals in space. The first paragraph outlines the opposition’s concerns, highlighting the argument that resources could be better allocated to pressing issues on Earth. The second paragraph presents the author’s perspective, emphasizing the potential benefits of space mineral research. This balanced discussion demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author could provide more specific examples or statistics to support both sides of the argument. For instance, citing specific instances of how space mineral research has led to technological advancements or addressing counterarguments in more detail could strengthen the analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The author maintains a clear position throughout the essay, explicitly stating their belief in the justification of space mineral research. Phrases like "including myself, believe that it is entirely justifiable" reinforce this stance. However, the transition between presenting opposing views and the author’s opinion could be smoother to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the author could use transitional phrases that clearly delineate the shift from discussing opposing views to presenting their own opinion. For example, using phrases like "On the other hand" or "Conversely" can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, particularly in the second paragraph where the author discusses the potential benefits of space mineral research. The mention of alleviating Earth’s resource strain and advancing scientific boundaries provides a solid foundation for the argument. However, the support for the opposing view could be more robust, as it currently relies on general statements without specific examples.
- How to improve: To enhance the support for ideas, the author should consider incorporating specific examples or case studies related to space mineral research. For instance, discussing past missions or research findings that illustrate the potential benefits or challenges of space exploration would provide a stronger basis for the arguments presented.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing both sides of the argument and the author’s opinion without deviating into unrelated areas. The structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing each viewpoint, and a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, the author should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the central question of whether researching minerals in space is worth it. This can be achieved by explicitly linking each argument back to the prompt in the conclusion, reinforcing the relevance of the discussion.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. To achieve an even higher band score, the author should focus on providing specific examples, improving transitions between viewpoints, and ensuring that all points are explicitly tied back to the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the author’s stance. The body paragraphs are organized to first present the opposing view and then the author’s perspective, which is a logical approach. For instance, the first body paragraph effectively discusses the concerns of opponents regarding resource allocation and the challenges of space mining. The second body paragraph transitions smoothly into the author’s arguments for the benefits of space mineral research. However, while the ideas are generally well-organized, the connection between the points could be more explicitly stated to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve logical organization, the author could use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that explicitly state the main idea of that paragraph. Additionally, incorporating transitional phrases between points within paragraphs could help clarify the relationships between ideas, making the argument more cohesive.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the discussion, which aids in readability. However, the body paragraphs could be further developed to ensure that each point is fully explored before moving on to the next.
- How to improve: To enhance paragraph effectiveness, the author should ensure that each body paragraph contains multiple sentences that elaborate on the main idea. For example, the first body paragraph could include more examples or evidence to support the claim about the importance of addressing urgent issues on Earth. This would not only strengthen the argument but also provide a more balanced discussion.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "meanwhile," "granted," and "to summarise," which help to guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and the essay could benefit from a more varied use of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas. For instance, the transition between the opposing view and the author’s opinion could be more fluid.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the author should consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "on the other hand," "in contrast," "furthermore," and "consequently." This would not only improve the flow of the essay but also help to clarify the relationships between different arguments and points of view. Additionally, using pronouns and synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas can help to avoid repetition and create a more cohesive text.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion, there are areas for improvement in logical organization, paragraph development, and the use of cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested strategies, the author can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their argument, potentially achieving a higher band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, utilizing terms such as "brooked opposition," "endeavours," "decry," "formidable," and "utilisation." These choices reflect a strong command of language and the ability to convey complex ideas effectively. However, while the vocabulary is varied, there are instances where more common synonyms could enhance clarity and accessibility for a broader audience. For example, the term "endeavours" could be replaced with "efforts" for simplicity.
- How to improve: To further enhance lexical range, the writer should aim to incorporate even more diverse vocabulary, particularly in discussing the opposing viewpoints. Introducing synonyms or related terms for "resources," "benefits," and "challenges" could enrich the essay. Additionally, using idiomatic expressions or collocations relevant to the topic could demonstrate a higher level of lexical sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with a good degree of precision. Phrases like "resource allocation" and "scientific and engineering boundaries" are used accurately within context. However, there are moments where the vocabulary could be more precise. For instance, the phrase "the challenges in space mineral exploration can extend our scientific and engineering boundaries" could be clearer if rephrased to specify how these challenges lead to advancements.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on ensuring that every term used conveys the intended meaning without ambiguity. For example, instead of saying "the formidable technical and logistical hurdles," it could be beneficial to specify what these hurdles are, such as "the technical challenges of developing mining technology." This specificity would enhance clarity and strengthen the argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "justifiable," "allocation," and "utilisation" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong grasp of English spelling conventions. This accuracy contributes positively to the overall impression of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain and further enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Engaging in regular spelling practice, such as using flashcards for commonly misspelled words or employing spelling apps, can also be beneficial. Additionally, reading extensively can help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, achieving a Band Score of 7. By expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving an even higher score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "The harsh conditions in space, coupled with our current technological limitations, make the extraction and transportation of minerals from celestial bodies highly demanding and uncertain" effectively convey intricate ideas. Additionally, the use of conditional structures, as seen in "if we are constantly faced with the threat of resource depletion," adds depth to the argument. However, while the range is impressive, there are moments where more varied sentence openings could enhance the flow and engagement of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more varied sentence beginnings and using different grammatical forms, such as participial phrases or inverted structures. For example, instead of starting several sentences with "The" or "Such," try beginning with adverbial clauses or phrases that set the context or emphasize a point, like "Despite the challenges posed by…" or "In light of these concerns…".
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For instance, the phrase "the formidable technical and logistical hurdles of mining in space" is grammatically sound and punctuated correctly. However, there is a slight awkwardness in the phrase "which may in turn lead to advances with possible widespread applications and revolutionise many aspects of our life," where the use of "with" could be more clearly articulated. Additionally, the use of commas is generally effective, but there are instances where additional commas could enhance clarity, such as before "including myself" in the first sentence.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on refining sentence clarity and ensuring that all phrases are as straightforward as possible. Pay attention to conjunctions and prepositions to avoid awkward constructions. Regular practice with punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, will also help. Reading more complex texts can provide insight into effective punctuation use and sentence construction.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a clear argument with a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further elevate their writing quality and coherence.

Bài sửa mẫu

The idea of researching different minerals in space has met with opposition from certain individuals who view such endeavors as a waste of resources. Meanwhile, many others, including myself, believe that it is entirely justified to fund projects aimed at exploring space minerals.

Granted, opponents of space mineral research primarily criticize its overwhelming need for resource allocation. Such funds, they claim, might be better invested in issues of greater urgency on Earth, such as widespread poverty, persistent famines, or the general lack of access to healthcare and education in certain parts of the world. Furthermore, these detractors also highlight the significant technical and logistical challenges of mining in space. The harsh conditions in space, coupled with our current technological limitations, render the extraction and transportation of minerals from celestial bodies highly demanding and uncertain.

These concerns notwithstanding, I concur with those who argue for the potential benefits that space mineral research may yield. First, the discovery and utilization of these minerals may alleviate the strain on mankind’s resources on Earth, especially in an era of ongoing resource depletion. In addition, the challenges in space mineral exploration can expand our scientific and engineering capabilities, which may in turn lead to advances with potential widespread applications and revolutionize various aspects of our lives.

To summarize, while the costs and challenges of space mineral research are by no means insignificant, its potential long-term benefits justify the seemingly intimidating investment. By exploring and utilizing resources available beyond our atmosphere, we can secure essential minerals for future generations and drive technological progress.