Some people think that people should keep all their money and should not have to pay tax to the state. Do you agree or disagree?

There exists an opinion discusses about people should keep their money and not pay tax for the state. I am opposed to this running tax idea, since tax can positively attribute to various aspects of social services.

First and foremost, tax is indeed for implementing a better public service. By paying tax, individuals contribute to the government funds which can assist them having more resources to renovate many public infrastructures such as: school, hospital and traffic. For example, in Japan, with the tax funding, many elementary school is free to all citizens.

Moreover, paying tax can balance the inequality gap in society. This can create a more equally and higher living standard in the neighborhood, reduce the poverty rate and offer more social welfare to dwellers. In Netherlands, despite having to pay a high amount of taxes, people who live there are satisfied with the living conditions and treatments from authority.

In conclusion, paying tax will facilitate the public services and minimize the inequality in society. By the precise planning of the state, authorities from many states can principle and introduce an efficient tax policy to both achieve economic growth and improved living standard.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"There exists an opinion discusses about" -> "There is an opinion that discusses"
Explanation: The phrase "There exists an opinion discusses about" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The corrected version "There is an opinion that discusses" corrects the grammatical structure and enhances clarity.
"people should keep their money and not pay tax for the state" -> "individuals should retain their funds and refrain from paying taxes to the state"
Explanation: "Keep their money" and "pay tax" are too informal and vague. "Retain their funds" and "refrain from paying taxes" are more precise and formal, suitable for an academic context.
"I am opposed to this running tax idea" -> "I strongly disagree with this notion of tax evasion"
Explanation: "Running tax idea" is unclear and informal. "Notion of tax evasion" clearly conveys the concept of avoiding taxes, and "strongly disagree" is more assertive and appropriate for academic writing.
"tax can positively attribute to various aspects of social services" -> "tax can contribute positively to various aspects of social services"
Explanation: "Attribute" is not the correct verb in this context. "Contribute" is the correct term to describe the action of providing funds for social services.
"assist them having more resources" -> "enable them to allocate more resources"
Explanation: "Assist them having" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Enable them to allocate" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"school, hospital and traffic" -> "schools, hospitals, and transportation"
Explanation: "School, hospital and traffic" is a list that should be grammatically parallel. "Schools, hospitals, and transportation" corrects this and uses more precise terminology.
"many elementary school is free to all citizens" -> "many elementary schools are free to all citizens"
Explanation: "Many elementary school" should be plural to match "many," and "is" should be "are" to agree with the plural subject.
"paying tax can balance the inequality gap in society" -> "paying taxes can help reduce the socioeconomic disparities in society"
Explanation: "Balance the inequality gap" is vague and informal. "Help reduce the socioeconomic disparities" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"create a more equally and higher living standard" -> "promote a more equitable and higher standard of living"
Explanation: "Create a more equally and higher living standard" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Promote a more equitable and higher standard of living" corrects these issues and uses more formal language.
"reduce the poverty rate and offer more social welfare to dwellers" -> "reduce the poverty rate and provide more social welfare to residents"
Explanation: "Dwellers" is less formal and less commonly used than "residents," which is more appropriate for formal writing.
"paying tax will facilitate the public services" -> "paying taxes will enhance public services"
Explanation: "Facilitate" is somewhat vague; "enhance" is more specific and academically suitable for describing the improvement of public services.
"minimize the inequality in society" -> "reduce socioeconomic disparities in society"
Explanation: "Minimize the inequality" is a bit informal and vague. "Reduce socioeconomic disparities" is more precise and formal, fitting for academic discourse.
"By the precise planning of the state" -> "Through the careful planning of the government"
Explanation: "By the precise planning of the state" is awkward and unclear. "Through the careful planning of the government" is clearer and more formal.
"authorities from many states can principle and introduce an efficient tax policy" -> "authorities from various states can implement and introduce an efficient tax policy"
Explanation: "Principle" is incorrectly used; "implement" is the correct verb to describe the action of putting a policy into effect. Additionally, "various states" is more precise than "many states."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by stating a clear disagreement with the idea that people should keep all their money and not pay taxes. However, it does not fully explore the opposing viewpoint, which is essential for a balanced argument. The essay could benefit from acknowledging the reasons some people might support the idea of not paying taxes, which would provide a more comprehensive response.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should include a brief discussion of the opposing viewpoint. For instance, they could mention potential arguments regarding personal freedom or the belief that individuals should have more control over their finances. This would demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and strengthen the overall argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The position against not paying taxes is stated clearly in the introduction and maintained throughout the essay. However, the phrasing is somewhat convoluted, particularly in the introduction, which could confuse readers. For example, the phrase "I am opposed to this running tax idea" lacks clarity and may lead to misunderstanding.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer should simplify the language and structure of the introduction. A more straightforward statement, such as "I disagree with the idea that people should not pay taxes," would enhance understanding. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph clearly ties back to this main position will help maintain a consistent stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some relevant ideas, such as the role of taxes in funding public services and reducing inequality. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while the writer mentions Japan and the Netherlands, the examples lack depth and specific details that could strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should elaborate on examples with more specific data or statistics. For instance, they could include information on how tax revenue has directly led to improvements in public services in Japan or the Netherlands. Additionally, expanding on the implications of these examples would provide a more robust argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the benefits of paying taxes. However, some sentences, especially in the conclusion, introduce ideas that are not fully developed or relevant to the main argument, such as "the precise planning of the state" and "efficient tax policy." These phrases could distract from the main focus of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every sentence contributes directly to the argument about the necessity of paying taxes. Removing vague or unrelated statements and ensuring that each point ties back to the main thesis will help keep the essay on topic.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task but requires more depth, clarity, and balance to achieve a higher band score. Addressing the suggestions above will lead to a more comprehensive and coherent response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear stance against the idea of not paying taxes, and the arguments are generally organized in a logical manner. The introduction sets the context, and each paragraph addresses a specific point related to the benefits of taxation. For instance, the first body paragraph focuses on public services, while the second discusses social equity. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother; for example, the connection between the benefits of public services and the reduction of inequality is not explicitly stated, which may leave the reader needing more clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly link ideas. For example, after discussing public services, you might add a sentence like, "In addition to improving public services, taxes also play a crucial role in addressing social inequalities." This would create a clearer connection between your points.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for readability. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, and the structure is consistent. However, the first paragraph could benefit from a more defined topic sentence that clearly states the main argument of the paragraph. The conclusion, while summarizing the main points, could also be more distinct in its closure.
- How to improve: Strengthen the topic sentences of each paragraph to clearly reflect the main idea. For example, the first paragraph could start with, "One of the primary benefits of taxation is its role in enhancing public services." Additionally, ensure that the conclusion not only summarizes but also reinforces the overall argument, perhaps by restating the importance of taxes in a more impactful way.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "first and foremost," "moreover," and "in conclusion," which help guide the reader through the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where more varied language could enhance the flow. For example, the phrase "this can create" in the second paragraph could be replaced with "this contributes to" for greater variety.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "furthermore," "in addition," or "consequently" to connect ideas more fluidly. Additionally, varying sentence structures can help maintain reader interest and improve cohesion. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "this," try rephrasing to incorporate different subjects or clauses.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately leading to a stronger overall score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, such as "public service," "inequality gap," and "social welfare." However, the use of phrases like "running tax idea" and "assist them having more resources" indicates a limited range and awkward phrasing. The vocabulary tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly in the discussion of taxes and their benefits.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider using synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeating "tax" or "public service," you could use "levy," "revenue," "community services," or "infrastructure development." Additionally, incorporating more varied adjectives and adverbs could enrich the essay’s language.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While some vocabulary is used correctly, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, "discusses about" should be "discusses" or "is a discussion about." The phrase "assist them having more resources" is also awkward and unclear, as it suggests a grammatical error rather than precise meaning.
- How to improve: Focus on clarity and grammatical accuracy. Instead of "assist them having," you could say "assist them in obtaining" or "help provide." Regularly reviewing vocabulary in context and practicing sentence construction can help improve precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "Netherlands" (which is missing an article) and "elementary school is free to all citizens" (should be "schools are free"). While the overall spelling is generally accurate, these errors can detract from the overall impression of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After writing, take a moment to review the essay specifically for spelling and grammatical errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can also help catch mistakes that may be overlooked during initial writing.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource. Focus on expanding vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and improving spelling accuracy for a more polished and effective argument.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of “By paying tax, individuals contribute to the government funds which can assist them having more resources…” shows an attempt at a complex structure. However, the overall range is limited, with many sentences following a similar pattern, which can make the writing feel repetitive. Additionally, phrases like “this running tax idea” and “the inequality gap in society” indicate awkward phrasing and a lack of sophistication in structure.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should experiment with different types of clauses and conjunctions. For example, using more relative clauses, conditional sentences, or varying the placement of adverbial phrases can enhance complexity. Practicing sentence combining exercises and reading a variety of academic texts can also help in developing a more varied writing style.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and issues with punctuation. For instance, “There exists an opinion discusses about people should keep their money…” should be corrected to “There exists an opinion that discusses whether people should keep their money…” to ensure proper subject-verb agreement and clarity. Additionally, the phrase “assist them having more resources” is awkward and should be rephrased to “assist them in having more resources.” Punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary colon in “such as: school, hospital and traffic,” detract from the overall clarity of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, proper use of articles, and prepositions. Regular grammar exercises and reviewing common grammatical rules can be beneficial. For punctuation, practicing the correct use of commas, colons, and semicolons in writing can help. Additionally, proofreading the essay for grammatical and punctuation errors before submission can significantly enhance the overall quality of the writing.

By addressing these areas, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

There exists an opinion that discusses that people should keep their money and not pay tax to the state. I strongly disagree with this notion of tax evasion, since tax can contribute positively to various aspects of social services.

First and foremost, tax is indeed for implementing better public services. By paying tax, individuals contribute to government funds, which can assist them in having more resources to renovate many public infrastructures such as schools, hospitals, and transportation. For example, in Japan, with tax funding, many elementary schools are free to all citizens.

Moreover, paying tax can help reduce the inequality gap in society. This can promote a more equitable and higher standard of living in neighborhoods, reduce the poverty rate, and provide more social welfare to residents. In the Netherlands, despite having to pay a high amount of taxes, people who live there are satisfied with the living conditions and treatment from authorities.

In conclusion, paying tax will enhance public services and minimize the inequality in society. Through the careful planning of the government, authorities from various states can implement and introduce an efficient tax policy to achieve both economic growth and an improved living standard.