Some people think that remote working trends likely continue post-pandemic, and it would benefit our society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some individuals endorse the view that the possibility of distant working trends to continue after the pandemic is significant and this trend would bring about benefits for our society. In my opinion, I partly agree with this statement for some reasons that are elucidated in this essay.
On the one hand, there are some reasons that explain why telecommuting will likely to proliferate after the pandemic. In the past, the concept of having a physical workplace required employers and workers to bear the high costs of real eatates and frequently commute to work, respectively. These requirements would lead to the surge in the operational costs and the waste of time and money of workers, potentially limiting their profitability. Fortunately, it is the telecommuting to be utilized during the pandemic that employers can reduce their spending on rental payments and the need for workers to commute back and forth is eliminated, saving their time and increase the profit of both parties. This is why telecommuting would likely to persist in the future.
Despite its significant possibility to occur in the future, I believe that trend trend would not benefit the society in the long run. The initial reason is that this working model limits the control of the employers over their subordinates, potentially leading to a decrease in the working performance. Telecommuting allows individuals to work in the comfort of their home and this means that workers could not be directly instructed by their employers and had to rely on online platforms for information exchange which is proved to be less effective. Additionally, there is a high potential for the blurring of the work-life balance to occur, mixing the employees’ professional and personal lives. This occurrence will hinder these individuals from fully concentrating on their works, leading to productivity being negatively influenced. Due to these obstacles, it is feasible to state that it would benefit institutions and the economy of the society as a whole.
In conclusion, although there are still controversial opinions on determining the future of remote working and its implications on workers and their companies, I believe that this trend would likely to persist after the pandemic thanks to its associated financial benefits, but it may negatively impact society.

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Errors and Improvements:

"distant working" -> "remote work"
Explanation: "Distant working" is not a common term in formal language. "Remote work" is a more precise and widely accepted term for working away from a traditional office setting.
"trends to continue" -> "is likely to continue"
Explanation: "Trends to continue" is grammatically incorrect. "Is likely to continue" is a more grammatically appropriate phrase indicating the probability of something happening in the future.
"this trend would bring about benefits" -> "this trend could yield benefits"
Explanation: "Bring about" is slightly informal. "Could yield benefits" maintains formality while expressing the potential positive outcomes of the trend.
"I partly agree with this statement for some reasons that are elucidated in this essay." -> "I concur with this statement to some extent, as elaborated below."
Explanation: "Partly agree" is less formal. "Concur" is a more formal synonym. Additionally, "elucidated" is overly complex. "As elaborated below" maintains clarity without being overly complex.
"there are some reasons that explain" -> "several factors elucidate"
Explanation: "There are some reasons that explain" is slightly repetitive. "Several factors elucidate" is a more concise and formal expression.
"having a physical workplace required" -> "maintaining a physical workplace necessitated"
Explanation: "Having" is a bit vague. "Maintaining" clarifies the ongoing necessity. "Required" is a common word, but "necessitated" adds a touch of formality.
"real eatates" -> "real estate"
Explanation: "Real eatates" is a misspelling. "Real estate" is the correct term for property or buildings.
"telecommuting to be utilized" -> "the utilization of telecommuting"
Explanation: "Telecommuting to be utilized" is awkward phrasing. "The utilization of telecommuting" is a more formal and straightforward expression.
"commute back and forth" -> "commute to and from work"
Explanation: "Commute back and forth" is slightly informal. "Commute to and from work" is a clearer and more formal expression.
"saving their time and increase the profit" -> "saving time and increasing profits"
Explanation: "Their" is ambiguous in this context. "Saving time and increasing profits" is a clearer and more concise phrase.
"Despite its significant possibility to occur" -> "Despite its high likelihood of occurrence"
Explanation: "Significant possibility to occur" is somewhat redundant. "High likelihood of occurrence" conveys the same meaning more concisely.
"this working model limits the control of the employers over their subordinates" -> "this working model restricts employers’ control over their employees"
Explanation: "Limits the control of the employers over their subordinates" is wordy and less clear. "Restricts employers’ control over their employees" is more concise and direct.
"Telecommuting allows individuals to work in the comfort of their home" -> "Telecommuting allows individuals to work from the comfort of their homes"
Explanation: "Comfort of their home" should be "comfort of their homes" for grammatical correctness.
"had to rely on online platforms for information exchange which is proved to be less effective" -> "relied on online platforms for information exchange, which has been shown to be less effective"
Explanation: "Had to rely" is past perfect tense, which is not necessary here. "Which is proved to be less effective" is slightly informal; "which has been shown to be less effective" is more formal.
"Additionally, there is a high potential" -> "Furthermore, there is considerable potential"
Explanation: "Additionally" is a bit informal. "Furthermore" maintains formality. "High potential" is slightly informal; "considerable potential" is more formal.
"blurring of the work-life balance to occur" -> "blurring of the work-life balance"
Explanation: "To occur" is unnecessary. "Blurring of the work-life balance" is a complete phrase.
"it is feasible to state that it would benefit institutions and the economy of the society as a whole." -> "it could benefit both institutions and the economy as a whole."
Explanation: "It is feasible to state that it would benefit" is overly wordy. "It could benefit" is more concise. "The economy of the society" is somewhat awkward; "the economy as a whole" is more natural.
"there are still controversial opinions" -> "there is still contention"
Explanation: "Controversial opinions" is slightly redundant. "Contention" is a more concise term to express differing viewpoints.
"I believe that this trend would likely to persist" -> "I believe that this trend is likely to persist"
Explanation: "Would likely to persist" is grammatically incorrect. "Is likely to persist" is the correct phrase indicating future likelihood.
"thanks to its associated financial benefits" -> "due to its associated financial benefits"
Explanation: "Thanks to" is slightly informal. "Due to" is a more formal alternative in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question. It presents a nuanced viewpoint, indicating partial agreement with the idea that remote working trends will continue post-pandemic while also expressing concerns about its long-term societal benefits.
- How to improve: While the essay covers both sides of the argument, providing more specific examples or statistics could enhance the depth of analysis and strengthen the argumentation.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, expressing partial agreement with the idea of remote working trends continuing post-pandemic, albeit with reservations about its societal benefits.
- How to improve: To further strengthen clarity, consider explicitly stating the stance in the introduction and conclusion for emphasis and coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas with adequate development and supports them with relevant reasoning. For instance, it discusses the financial benefits of telecommuting for employers and workers and elaborates on potential drawbacks such as decreased work performance and work-life balance issues.
- How to improve: To enhance idea extension and support, integrate more specific examples, case studies, or expert opinions to bolster the argumentation and provide a more comprehensive analysis.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay predominantly stays on topic by addressing the issue of remote working trends post-pandemic and its potential societal impacts. However, there are instances where the discussion could be more focused, such as maintaining a stronger link between the financial benefits of remote work and its societal implications.
- How to improve: To ensure greater relevance and coherence, carefully structure each paragraph around the central theme of remote working trends and their societal consequences, avoiding tangential discussions.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the prompt and effectively presents arguments for both sides of the issue. To improve further, the writer could enrich the analysis with more specific examples, maintain a consistent stance throughout the essay, and ensure a tighter focus on the central topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of ideas. The introduction presents the writer’s stance clearly, followed by separate paragraphs addressing reasons supporting the proliferation of remote work and reasons against its long-term societal benefits. Each paragraph presents a distinct argument, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization further, consider structuring each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples. Additionally, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to maintain a coherent flow of ideas throughout the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, such as the reasons for the proliferation of remote work or its potential drawbacks for society. However, some paragraphs could be more clearly structured to improve readability and coherence.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. Follow this with supporting details and examples to strengthen the argument. Additionally, consider varying the length and structure of paragraphs to maintain reader engagement.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes cohesive devices moderately to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Examples include transitional phrases like "On the one hand" and "Despite this." While these devices contribute to the overall cohesion of the essay, there is room for improvement in diversifying and expanding their use.
- How to improve: To enhance cohesion, incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices such as pronouns (e.g., "this," "these"), conjunctions (e.g., "furthermore," "however"), and transitional adverbs (e.g., "consequently," "likewise"). Use them strategically to establish logical connections between sentences and paragraphs, improving the overall flow of the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, with clear organization and paragraphing. By incorporating a wider variety of cohesive devices and refining paragraph structure, the essay could achieve an even higher coherence and cohesion score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, with varied expressions such as "endorse," "proliferate," "elucidated," "surge," "blurring," and "feasible." These lexical choices contribute to the richness of the essay and showcase the writer’s ability to express ideas effectively.
- How to improve: To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more advanced vocabulary and idiomatic expressions where appropriate. For instance, instead of "there are still controversial opinions," you could use "contentious viewpoints" to add sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary effectively to convey meaning. For example, the phrase "telecommuting allows individuals to work in the comfort of their home" precisely captures the essence of remote work. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For instance, the repetition of "trend" in the sentence "Despite its significant possibility to occur in the future, I believe that trend trend would not benefit the society" could be replaced with a synonym like "phenomenon" for clarity.
- How to improve: Continuously expand your vocabulary through reading diverse materials and paying attention to context-specific usage. Utilize synonyms and antonyms to add nuance and precision to your writing.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally high level of spelling accuracy. However, there are a few instances where minor spelling errors occur, such as "real eatates" instead of "real estates" and "blurring of the work-life balance to occur" where "occurrence" is misspelled. These errors do not significantly impede comprehension but could be improved for a smoother reading experience.
- How to improve: Regularly proofread your writing to catch and correct spelling errors. Additionally, consider using spell-check tools or seeking feedback from peers to identify and rectify any overlooked mistakes. Developing a habit of double-checking spellings during the writing process can also aid in enhancing spelling accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, compound sentences, and some simpler structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "Despite its significant possibility to occur in the future, I believe that this trend trend would not benefit the society in the long run" showcase the ability to construct more intricate sentences. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures further to enhance coherence and engagement.
- How to improve: To improve the range of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures, such as subordinate clauses or conditional sentences, to add depth and sophistication to your writing. Additionally, vary the length and structure of sentences to maintain reader interest and flow. Practice crafting sentences with different grammatical structures to expand your repertoire and convey ideas more effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates a good grasp of grammar and punctuation, with few errors that do not significantly impede comprehension. However, there are instances of grammatical inaccuracies and punctuation errors throughout the essay. For example, "to be utilized during the pandemic that employers can reduce their spending on rental payments" contains a subject-verb agreement issue ("employers can reduce" should be "employers can reduce their spending"). Additionally, there are missing commas in compound sentences, such as "The initial reason is that this working model limits the control of the employers over their subordinates, potentially leading to a decrease in the working performance."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, review common grammar rules, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and proper comma usage in compound sentences. Consider proofreading your essays carefully to catch and correct errors before submission. Additionally, practice writing and editing to reinforce grammatical concepts and develop a keen eye for punctuation accuracy. Utilize grammar resources and seek feedback from peers or instructors to identify and address recurring errors effectively.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some people argue that the continuation of remote work trends post-pandemic is probable and would bring advantages to our society. I partially agree with this perspective for several reasons, which I will discuss in this essay.

On one hand, there are compelling reasons why remote work is likely to become more prevalent after the pandemic. Historically, having a physical workplace necessitated employers and employees to bear the high costs of real estate and endure frequent commutes, respectively. These requirements inflated operational costs and wasted workers’ time and money, potentially hindering profitability. Fortunately, during the pandemic, the adoption of remote work enabled employers to reduce spending on rent and eliminated the need for commuting, thereby saving time and increasing profits for both parties. This suggests that remote work is likely to persist in the future.

However, despite its potential prevalence in the future, I believe this trend may not benefit society in the long term. One reason is that remote work limits employers’ control over their employees, possibly reducing work performance. Remote work allows individuals to work from the comfort of their homes, meaning that direct instructions from employers may be lacking, leading to reliance on less effective online platforms for information exchange. Additionally, there is a high risk of blurred work-life balance, as professional and personal lives intertwine. This could hinder individuals from fully concentrating on their work, thus negatively impacting productivity. Consequently, while remote work may benefit individual institutions and the economy initially, it may not be advantageous for society as a whole.

In conclusion, despite ongoing debates regarding the future of remote work and its implications for workers and companies, I believe that this trend is likely to persist post-pandemic due to its financial benefits. However, it may have negative consequences for society.