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Some people think that studying from the past teaches us nothing about today’s life. Others argue that history is a valuable source of information Discuss both view and give your opinion

Some people think that studying from the past teaches us nothing about today’s life. Others argue that history is a valuable source of information
Discuss both view and give your opinion

Studying history is thought to offer no benefits for our present-day world. Nevertheless,others believe that past events can provide valuable information. From my perspective, I am of the second school of thought.
Admittedly, one might think that history has nothing to teach us about today’s life. This is predicated on the assumption that the problems we have today barely correlate with those we encountered in the past. For instance, hundreds of years ago, our ancestors had to face warfare, yet, in the contemporary era, the main concern among people is currency wars or the fight against climate change. Therefore, history is considered to be irrelevant to our current life.
However, this line of reasoning is not sound because the very pieces of historical facts that are seemingly useless can allow mankind to draw invaluable lessons for today’s life. A case in point is the study of the root causes of wars. Past civilizations invaded one another since they believed that only at the expense of others could they thrive. Such a policy is by no means true. This can be seen clearly in the fact that wars are rare in the modern era as armed conflicts may result in huge economic losses due to expensive weapons, hence, global cooperation is the key to the prosperity of any nation rather than violent threats. Such realization is the fruit of studying the past.
In conclusion, I hold a firm belief that history has an important role to play in our present life.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Nevertheless,others believe" -> "However, others believe"
    Explanation: Replacing "Nevertheless" with "However" maintains the flow and enhances the formal tone of the sentence.

  2. "From my perspective, I am of the second school of thought." -> "Personally, I align with the belief that…"
    Explanation: Replacing the phrase with "Personally, I align with the belief that…" offers a more formal and direct expression of the writer’s viewpoint.

  3. "Admittedly, one might think that history has nothing to teach us about today’s life." -> "Admittedly, some may contend that history offers no lessons for contemporary life."
    Explanation: Using "some may contend" instead of "one might think" adds a nuanced academic perspective, suggesting a diversity of opinions without sounding too assertive.

  4. "This is predicated on the assumption that the problems we have today barely correlate with those we encountered in the past." -> "This assumption hinges on the belief that the problems of today bear minimal resemblance to those of the past."
    Explanation: The revision maintains the formality of the sentence while employing more advanced vocabulary like "hinges on" instead of "predicated on."

  5. "For instance, hundreds of years ago, our ancestors had to face warfare, yet, in the contemporary era…" -> "For instance, centuries ago, our forebears confronted warfare, while in the present era…"
    Explanation: Replacing "hundreds of years ago" with "centuries ago" and "ancestors" with "forebears" enhances the academic tone, using more precise and formal language.

  6. "Therefore, history is considered to be irrelevant to our current life." -> "Therefore, history is often deemed irrelevant to our present-day existence."
    Explanation: Changing "current life" to "present-day existence" and rephrasing "is considered to be" to "is often deemed" elevates the language to a more formal tone.

  7. "However, this line of reasoning is not sound because the very pieces of historical facts that are seemingly useless can allow mankind to draw invaluable lessons for today’s life." -> "However, this argument lacks soundness as seemingly inconsequential historical facts can offer invaluable lessons for contemporary society."
    Explanation: The revision replaces "line of reasoning" with "argument," uses "lacks soundness" for a more formal tone, and clarifies the meaning for academic writing.

  8. "A case in point is the study of the root causes of wars." -> "An illustrative example lies in the examination of the underlying causes of conflicts."
    Explanation: The suggested alternative employs more sophisticated language by using "illustrative example" and "examination" instead of "case in point" and "study."

  9. "Such a policy is by no means true." -> "However, this policy is inherently flawed."
    Explanation: The revised phrase uses a stronger and more formal expression by replacing "by no means true" with "inherently flawed."

  10. "This can be seen clearly in the fact that wars are rare in the modern era as armed conflicts may result in huge economic losses…" -> "This is evident in the rarity of wars in contemporary times, given that armed conflicts often entail substantial economic losses…"
    Explanation: The revised version clarifies the point by using "evident" and "contemporary times" for a more formal and precise expression.

  11. "hence, global cooperation is the key to the prosperity of any nation rather than violent threats." -> "therefore, global cooperation stands as pivotal for a nation’s prosperity over resorting to violent tactics."
    Explanation: The replacement emphasizes the importance of global cooperation more explicitly and uses "stands as pivotal" instead of "is the key" for a more formal tone.

  12. "Such realization is the fruit of studying the past." -> "This understanding is an outcome of historical study."
    Explanation: The revised phrase uses "understanding" instead of "realization" for a more formal and academically appropriate tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both perspectives outlined in the prompt: one that dismisses the relevance of studying history to modern life and the opposing view that considers history a valuable source of information. However, the discussion is somewhat skewed toward the importance of history, with less emphasis on the viewpoint that studying history offers no benefits.
    • How to improve: To enhance completeness, ensure an equal and balanced discussion of both perspectives. Allocate more space to elucidate the opposing viewpoint, emphasizing why some people believe history has no relevance to contemporary life.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance supporting the importance of history. The writer consistently argues that history offers valuable lessons for present-day life.
    • How to improve: While the position is evident, reinforcing it with stronger, diverse supporting points could strengthen the essay’s argumentative depth.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas adequately, exemplifying how historical lessons, particularly about the causes of wars, have relevance to modern global cooperation. However, the depth of elaboration and examples could be enhanced to further substantiate the argument.
    • How to improve: To elevate the essay, provide more diverse historical examples and deeper analysis to illustrate the varied ways in which historical knowledge impacts and guides present-day decisions and actions.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay predominantly stays on topic, focusing on the relevance of historical lessons to contemporary life. However, the introductory and concluding paragraphs slightly deviate from the specified task of discussing both perspectives equally.
    • How to improve: Maintain strict adherence to the essay prompt by dedicating equal attention to both perspectives from the outset to the conclusion.

Overall Feedback:
The essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the importance of history in shaping present-day decisions and actions. To enhance the score further:

  • Ensure equal coverage of both perspectives outlined in the prompt.
  • Strengthen the argument by diversifying examples and providing a deeper analysis of historical relevance to contemporary issues.
  • Maintain focus on the assigned task throughout the essay, evenly addressing both viewpoints in the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate level of logical organization. It begins with a clear introduction, presenting both views, and follows a sequential order in the body paragraphs, first discussing the opposing view and then presenting the author’s perspective. However, the transition between paragraphs could be smoother, and there is room for improvement in connecting ideas more cohesively. For instance, the transition from discussing historical irrelevance to drawing lessons from history could be more explicit.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transition phrases or sentences to guide the reader through the progression of ideas. Ensure that each paragraph logically follows the previous one, creating a seamless narrative. Additionally, explicitly highlight connections between opposing views and your perspective to strengthen the overall coherence.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs adequately, with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the structure within paragraphs could be refined for better effectiveness. For instance, the second paragraph discusses the opposing view but could be further organized by separating points related to the historical irrelevance and the counterargument more distinctly.
    • How to improve: Aim for a more organized structure within paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details or examples. In the second paragraph, consider creating two separate paragraphs—one focusing on historical irrelevance and the other on the counterargument. This will enhance clarity and readability.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a basic range of cohesive devices, such as transition words ("nevertheless," "admittedly," "however") and pronouns for referencing ("this," "such"). While these devices contribute to coherence, there is room for improvement in diversifying and using them more consistently. Additionally, some transitions between sentences and ideas could be strengthened for a smoother flow.
    • How to improve: Expand the variety of cohesive devices used, including conjunctions, linking words, and synonyms. Ensure that transitions between sentences are seamless to create a more cohesive narrative. Consider using parallel structures to enhance the symmetry and flow of ideas. Regularly review the essay to identify areas where stronger transitions could be incorporated for improved coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to use varied words and phrases to convey ideas, such as "contemporary era," "currency wars," and "armed conflicts." However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is room for improvement by incorporating more nuanced and sophisticated vocabulary.
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating synonyms, idiomatic expressions, or academic vocabulary. For example, instead of repeating phrases like "today’s life" or "past events," experiment with alternative terms to convey the same meaning. Additionally, explore more complex and specific vocabulary related to the essay’s themes, such as geopolitical terms when discussing warfare or economic terms when addressing prosperity.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with precision, but there are instances where the choice of words could be more precise. For instance, the phrase "currency wars" could be further clarified or replaced with a more specific term. Additionally, some expressions, like "the main concern among people is currency wars," might benefit from a more accurate description of contemporary issues.
    • How to improve: Aim for greater precision by avoiding generalizations and opting for more specific terms. Instead of using broad terms like "currency wars," delve into the specific economic challenges or conflicts the essay intends to address. This will not only demonstrate a higher level of lexical precision but also contribute to a more nuanced and detailed argument.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a good level of spelling accuracy. However, there are a few minor errors, such as "barely correlate" (barely correlates) and "allow mankind to draw invaluable lessons" (allows mankind to draw invaluable lessons). While these errors do not significantly hinder comprehension, eliminating them would contribute to a more polished and professional presentation.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, carefully proofread the essay to catch and correct minor errors. Additionally, consider utilizing spell-check tools to identify and rectify any overlooked mistakes. Developing a habit of revising written work with a focus on spelling will contribute to consistently accurate language use.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid foundation in lexical resource, but improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and meticulous spelling will contribute to a more refined and sophisticated piece of writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of sentence structures. The writer utilizes a mix of simple and complex sentences, contributing to the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay. For example, the writer employs complex sentences when discussing historical examples and uses simpler structures for straightforward statements.
    • How to improve: To further enhance the variety of structures, consider incorporating more compound and compound-complex sentences. This can be achieved by combining related ideas into a single sentence, providing a smoother flow and adding depth to the analysis.
  • Use Grammar Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical accuracy throughout. However, there are a few instances where subject-verb agreement could be improved. For instance, in the sentence "A case in point is the study of the root causes of wars," the singular subject "case" should agree with the singular verb "is," but it is followed by a plural noun "causes," leading to a slight grammatical inconsistency.
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, ensuring that singular subjects are paired with singular verbs and plural subjects with plural verbs. In this specific case, revising the sentence to maintain agreement, such as "Cases in point are the studies of the root causes of wars," would rectify the issue.
  • Use Correct Punctuation:

    • Detailed explanation: Punctuation is generally used correctly, with appropriate commas, periods, and colons. However, there is a minor issue with the punctuation in the sentence "This is predicated on the assumption that the problems we have today barely correlate with those we encountered in the past." The use of "This is predicated on" could be improved by employing a semicolon or breaking it into two separate sentences.
    • How to improve: To refine punctuation skills, consider using semicolons or breaking long sentences into shorter ones where appropriate. For instance, the sentence could be revised as follows: "This premise is predicated on the assumption that the problems we have today barely correlate with those we encountered in the past."

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, with only minor areas for improvement. Attention to these details will further elevate the quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Studying history is often dismissed as having no relevance to our modern world. However, some argue that the events of the past hold valuable insights. Personally, I align with the belief that history is indeed a rich source of information for us today.

Admittedly, there’s a prevalent notion that history offers no lessons for contemporary life. This assumption hinges on the belief that today’s problems bear minimal resemblance to those of the past. Centuries ago, our forebears faced warfare, while in the present era, our concerns revolve around currency wars or combating climate change. Hence, history is often deemed irrelevant to our present-day existence.

However, this argument lacks depth, as seemingly insignificant historical facts can offer invaluable lessons for today’s society. An illustrative example lies in understanding the underlying causes of conflicts. In the past, civilizations engaged in warfare believing that thriving required the expense of others. Yet, this policy is inherently flawed. This is evident in the rarity of wars in contemporary times, given that armed conflicts often entail substantial economic losses due to expensive weaponry. Therefore, global cooperation stands as pivotal for a nation’s prosperity rather than resorting to violent tactics. This understanding is an outcome of historical study.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that history plays an important role in our present life, offering insights and lessons that can guide us in navigating contemporary challenges.

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