some people think that the government should pay for health care and education, while others say it is not the government's responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In contemporary society, there is an ongoing debate regarding whether the government should be responsible for providing healthcare and education to its citizens. Some argue that these are fundamental rights that should be universally accessible, while others contend that the responsibility should not rest on the government. This essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting a reasoned opinion.

Proponents of government-funded healthcare and education argue that these services are essential for ensuring social equity. Healthcare and education are considered basic human rights, and by making them publicly available, the government ensures that every individual, regardless of their financial status, has equal access. This is particularly evident in countries like Sweden and Canada, where the state provides robust healthcare and educational systems that have led to healthier, well-educated populations. Moreover, when the government invests in these areas, it fosters long-term societal benefits, including economic growth and reduced social inequalities. For instance, a well-educated workforce is more innovative and productive, which in turn drives economic development.

On the other hand, some believe that the government should not bear the burden of providing healthcare and education, arguing that the private sector can deliver higher-quality services. In many instances, privately funded institutions have more resources to invest in advanced technologies, skilled professionals, and innovative practices, leading to superior outcomes. Additionally, by relieving the government of these financial obligations, more resources could be directed toward other critical areas such as infrastructure and defense. However, this perspective often overlooks the fact that relying solely on private providers can lead to disparities in access, where only the affluent can afford the best services, leaving the disadvantaged behind.

In conclusion, while both sides of the argument present valid points, it is my firm belief that the government should play a significant role in providing healthcare and education. Nonetheless, collaboration with the private sector could help maintain high standards and introduce efficiencies, ensuring that these essential services are accessible to all, while also being of high quality.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In contemporary society" -> "In the contemporary society"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "contemporary society" corrects the grammatical error and enhances the formal tone of the sentence.
"there is an ongoing debate" -> "there exists an ongoing debate"
Explanation: Using "there exists" instead of "there is" provides a more formal and precise expression, suitable for academic writing.
"Some argue" -> "Some proponents argue"
Explanation: Specifying "proponents" clarifies who is arguing, enhancing the precision and formality of the statement.
"fundamental rights" -> "fundamental human rights"
Explanation: Adding "human" before "rights" specifies the type of rights being discussed, aligning with the context of human rights discourse.
"should not rest on the government" -> "should not solely rest with the government"
Explanation: Adding "solely" emphasizes the exclusivity of the responsibility, which is more precise and formal.
"This is particularly evident in countries like Sweden and Canada" -> "This is particularly evident in countries such as Sweden and Canada"
Explanation: Using "such as" instead of "like" is more formal and appropriate in academic writing.
"robust healthcare and educational systems" -> "robust healthcare and educational systems"
Explanation: Removing "and" after "healthcare" corrects the grammatical error and maintains the flow of the sentence.
"fosters long-term societal benefits" -> "fosters long-term societal benefits"
Explanation: Adding "long-term" clarifies the duration of the benefits, enhancing the specificity of the statement.
"a well-educated workforce is more innovative and productive" -> "a well-educated workforce is more innovative and productive"
Explanation: Removing "which" after "workforce" corrects the grammatical structure, making the sentence more direct and formal.
"privately funded institutions have more resources" -> "privately funded institutions possess more resources"
Explanation: Using "possess" instead of "have" provides a more formal and precise verb choice, suitable for academic writing.
"leading to superior outcomes" -> "resulting in superior outcomes"
Explanation: "Resulting in" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "leading to."
"could be directed toward other critical areas" -> "could be allocated to other critical areas"
Explanation: "Allocated" is a more precise term than "directed," which is more commonly used in formal and academic contexts.
"leaving the disadvantaged behind" -> "leaving disadvantaged individuals behind"
Explanation: Specifying "individuals" clarifies the subject, enhancing the precision and formality of the statement.
"it is my firm belief" -> "I firmly believe"
Explanation: "I firmly believe" is a more concise and formal way to express personal conviction in academic writing.
"collaboration with the private sector could help maintain high standards" -> "collaboration with the private sector could assist in maintaining high standards"
Explanation: "Assist in maintaining" is a more formal and precise way to describe the role of collaboration in maintaining standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding whether the government should fund healthcare and education. The first body paragraph presents the viewpoint in favor of government involvement, highlighting the importance of social equity and providing examples from countries like Sweden and Canada. The second body paragraph articulates the opposing perspective, discussing the potential benefits of private sector involvement. However, while both views are discussed, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the nuances within each perspective.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could delve deeper into the complexities of each viewpoint. For instance, discussing potential drawbacks of government funding, such as inefficiencies or budget constraints, would provide a more balanced analysis. Additionally, incorporating more specific examples or statistics could strengthen the argumentation.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the government should play a significant role in providing healthcare and education. This stance is consistently supported throughout the essay, particularly in the conclusion, where the author reiterates their belief while suggesting collaboration with the private sector. The position is articulated well, but there are moments where the nuances of the opposing view could be more clearly contrasted with the author’s stance.
- How to improve: To reinforce clarity of position, the writer could explicitly state their opinion earlier in the essay, perhaps in the introduction, and then consistently refer back to this position when discussing the opposing view. This would help to create a stronger thread of argumentation throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas effectively, particularly in the first body paragraph, where the benefits of government-funded services are well-articulated. The use of examples from Sweden and Canada adds credibility to the argument. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from more detailed examples to substantiate the claims about the private sector’s advantages.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more concrete examples or case studies when discussing the private sector’s role. This could include statistics on outcomes in private versus public institutions or specific instances where private funding has led to innovation. Additionally, expanding on the potential consequences of relying solely on private providers could deepen the analysis.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the responsibilities of the government in relation to healthcare and education. The arguments presented are relevant and contribute to the overall discussion. However, there are brief moments where the discussion of the private sector could lead to a tangent if not carefully managed.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly ties back to the central question of government responsibility. This can be achieved by consistently linking arguments back to the prompt and avoiding overly broad statements that may detract from the main discussion. Additionally, summarizing key points in relation to the topic at the end of each paragraph could help reinforce the relevance of the discussion.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the two opposing views. Each paragraph effectively addresses one side of the argument, with the first paragraph focusing on the benefits of government-funded services and the second discussing the opposing viewpoint. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the discussion and presents the writer’s opinion. This logical progression of ideas helps the reader follow the argument easily.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit transitional phrases between paragraphs. For instance, at the beginning of the second paragraph, a phrase like "Conversely" or "In contrast" could strengthen the connection between the two perspectives. Additionally, linking the final opinion back to specific points made in the body paragraphs could reinforce the argument’s coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by relevant examples. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs explore each viewpoint, and the conclusion wraps up the discussion. This structure is appropriate for an IELTS Task 2 essay.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, the essay could benefit from more varied paragraph lengths. For instance, the second body paragraph is slightly longer and could be split into two shorter paragraphs to emphasize the contrasting viewpoints more distinctly. This would not only improve readability but also allow for a more focused discussion of each argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "moreover," and "for instance," which help to connect ideas within and between sentences. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay, allowing the reader to follow the argument smoothly. The use of examples from specific countries also enhances the argument’s credibility and cohesion.
- How to improve: To further diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied linking words and phrases. For example, using "on the one hand" and "on the other hand" can help clarify the contrasting views more explicitly. Additionally, employing phrases that indicate cause and effect, such as "as a result" or "consequently," could strengthen the connections between arguments and their implications.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively organizing ideas and using cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and flow of their arguments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively employing terms such as "fundamental rights," "social equity," "robust," and "disparities." These words not only convey precise meanings but also enhance the overall sophistication of the writing. The use of phrases like "economic growth" and "well-educated populations" further illustrates the writer’s ability to articulate complex ideas clearly.
- How to improve: To elevate the lexical resource further, the writer could incorporate more varied synonyms and expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "government" multiple times, alternatives like "state," "authorities," or "public sector" could be used to avoid redundancy and enrich the text. Additionally, exploring idiomatic expressions or collocations related to the topic could add depth to the vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, particularly in discussing the roles of government and private sectors in healthcare and education. Terms like "investment," "access," and "disparities" are used accurately within context. However, phrases such as "the burden of providing healthcare and education" could be perceived as slightly vague, as "burden" might imply a negative connotation that could be better articulated.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should consider using more specific terms that convey the intended meaning without ambiguity. For example, instead of "burden," phrases like "financial responsibility" or "obligation" could be utilized to clarify the context. Additionally, ensuring that all terms are contextually appropriate will strengthen the overall argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors present. Words such as "contemporary," "disparities," and "collaboration" are spelled correctly, reflecting the writer’s attention to detail and command of the English language.
- How to improve: While the spelling is already strong, the writer can maintain this level of accuracy by continuing to proofread their work and utilizing tools such as spell checkers or dictionaries when uncertain. Engaging in regular reading and writing practice can also reinforce spelling skills, helping to solidify the correct forms of more complex vocabulary.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on expanding vocabulary variety, enhancing precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can further improve their lexical skills in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a strong command of various sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is prevalent, such as in the phrase "by making them publicly available, the government ensures that every individual, regardless of their financial status, has equal access." This showcases the ability to convey nuanced ideas effectively. Additionally, the essay employs a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences, which contributes to a dynamic reading experience. However, there are instances where the sentence structure could be further diversified; for example, the essay could benefit from more varied introductory phrases or clauses to enhance engagement.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory elements, such as adverbial clauses or participial phrases. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "Some argue" or "On the other hand," you could use phrases like "In contrast to this view" or "While proponents emphasize…" This would not only add variety but also improve the flow of ideas throughout the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For instance, the phrase "the responsibility should not rest on the government" is grammatically correct and clearly articulated. Punctuation is also used effectively to separate clauses and enhance clarity, as seen in the use of commas in complex sentences. However, there are a few areas where punctuation could be improved, such as ensuring that all clauses are appropriately punctuated to avoid run-on sentences or comma splices.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, review the essay for any potential run-on sentences or instances where commas may be needed to clarify meaning. For example, in the sentence "However, this perspective often overlooks the fact that relying solely on private providers can lead to disparities in access, where only the affluent can afford the best services, leaving the disadvantaged behind," consider breaking it into two sentences for clarity. Additionally, practicing sentence diagramming can help identify complex structures and ensure proper punctuation is applied throughout.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and articulates a clear argument, showcasing a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the effectiveness and clarity of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary society, there exists an ongoing debate regarding whether the government should be responsible for providing healthcare and education to its citizens. Some proponents argue that these are fundamental human rights that should be universally accessible, while others contend that the responsibility should not solely rest with the government. This essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting a reasoned opinion.

Proponents of government-funded healthcare and education argue that these services are essential for ensuring social equity. Healthcare and education are considered basic human rights, and by making them publicly available, the government ensures that every individual, regardless of their financial status, has equal access. This is particularly evident in countries such as Sweden and Canada, where the state provides robust healthcare and educational systems that have led to healthier, well-educated populations. Moreover, when the government invests in these areas, it fosters long-term societal benefits, including economic growth and reduced social inequalities. For instance, a well-educated workforce is more innovative and productive, which in turn drives economic development.

On the other hand, some believe that the government should not bear the burden of providing healthcare and education, arguing that the private sector can deliver higher-quality services. In many instances, privately funded institutions possess more resources to invest in advanced technologies, skilled professionals, and innovative practices, resulting in superior outcomes. Additionally, by relieving the government of these financial obligations, more resources could be allocated to other critical areas such as infrastructure and defense. However, this perspective often overlooks the fact that relying solely on private providers can lead to disparities in access, where only the affluent can afford the best services, leaving disadvantaged individuals behind.

In conclusion, while both sides of the argument present valid points, I firmly believe that the government should play a significant role in providing healthcare and education. Nonetheless, collaboration with the private sector could assist in maintaining high standards and introducing efficiencies, ensuring that these essential services are accessible to all while also being of high quality.