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Some people want goverments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people want goverments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

There is a divergence of views on whether national authorities are supposed to budget public money for exploring new life on other planets or for counteracting miscellaneous problems on Earth. I concur with the latter.
Arguably, there are several rationales for the search for extraterrestrial life, chief among them being the emergency preparedness for doomsday. Naturally, there is an array of threats that may exterminate human beings on Earth, most alarmingly climate change and pandemics. These acute problems would likely be unmanageable; thus the search for alien life should be pursued promptly to protect humans against extermination. Moreover, were extraterrestrial life to be uncovered, it would facilitate the conquest of space which humans have been aiming for centuries. Hence, governments are required to invest public money in the pursuit of life on other planets.
But then, undoubtedly, it is billions of dollars that have been allocated to space research, yet tangible outcomes are elusive. For instance, the Mars Rover missions, while technologically impressive, did not conclusively prove the existence of extraterrestrial life. This begs the question about the efficacy of pouring billions into such endeavors when there are pressing issues on Earth that demand immediate attention. Contrary to the results of findings on alien life, numerous issues have been addressed fruitfully. Eloquent examples can be seen in Covid-19 and the prevention of World War III. Furthermore, if a civilization exists beyond Earth, reaching there would pose another significant challenge to deal with since leaving the solar system is widely considered to be currently unattainable for humans.
In conclusion, spending public money on finding new life in the cosmos is somewhat acceptable. Having said that, I hold a belief that it is not an appropriate time to do so when there is a host of problems on Earth that should be prioritized to face.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "divergence of views" -> "diversity of perspectives"
    Explanation: Replacing "divergence of views" with "diversity of perspectives" introduces a more formal and nuanced expression, aligning better with academic language.

  2. "budget public money" -> "allocate public funds"
    Explanation: "Budget public money" can be replaced with the more precise "allocate public funds" to convey the idea of assigning resources in a formal and specific manner.

  3. "concur with" -> "align with"
    Explanation: Substituting "concur with" with "align with" maintains formality while offering a more varied vocabulary choice.

  4. "chief among them being" -> "primarily including"
    Explanation: Replacing "chief among them being" with "primarily including" enhances the formality and clarity of the sentence.

  5. "emergency preparedness for doomsday" -> "preparedness for catastrophic events"
    Explanation: The phrase "emergency preparedness for doomsday" can be refined to "preparedness for catastrophic events" for a more academic and precise expression.

  6. "exterminate human beings" -> "endanger human existence"
    Explanation: Substituting "exterminate human beings" with "endanger human existence" maintains formality and avoids the emotional tone associated with the word "exterminate."

  7. "acute problems" -> "pressing issues"
    Explanation: Replacing "acute problems" with "pressing issues" maintains a formal tone while conveying the urgency of the challenges discussed.

  8. "unmanageable" -> "difficult to mitigate"
    Explanation: Replacing "unmanageable" with "difficult to mitigate" provides a more specific and formal description of the challenges posed by climate change and pandemics.

  9. "promptly" -> "expeditiously"
    Explanation: Substituting "promptly" with "expeditiously" elevates the formality of the sentence without sacrificing clarity.

  10. "conquest of space" -> "exploration of outer space"
    Explanation: Changing "conquest of space" to "exploration of outer space" offers a more neutral and formal expression.

  11. "required to invest" -> "tasked with investing"
    Explanation: Replacing "required to invest" with "tasked with investing" maintains formality and introduces a more authoritative tone.

  12. "but then" -> "however"
    Explanation: Replacing "but then" with "however" improves the transition between paragraphs in a more academically appropriate manner.

  13. "tangible outcomes are elusive" -> "yield tangible results is elusive"
    Explanation: Substituting "tangible outcomes are elusive" with "yield tangible results is elusive" enhances precision and maintains a formal tone.

  14. "technologically impressive" -> "technologically advanced"
    Explanation: Changing "technologically impressive" to "technologically advanced" provides a more precise and formal description of the Mars Rover missions.

  15. "begs the question about" -> "raises questions regarding"
    Explanation: Replacing "begs the question about" with "raises questions regarding" aligns better with academic language and avoids informal phrasing.

  16. "fruitfully" -> "effectively"
    Explanation: Substituting "fruitfully" with "effectively" offers a more formal and precise term.

  17. "Eloquent examples can be seen in" -> "Illustrative examples are evident in"
    Explanation: Replacing "Eloquent examples can be seen in" with "Illustrative examples are evident in" enhances formality and clarity.

  18. "somewhat acceptable" -> "partially justifiable"
    Explanation: Changing "somewhat acceptable" to "partially justifiable" provides a more precise and formal assessment.

  19. "hold a belief" -> "maintain the viewpoint"
    Explanation: Replacing "hold a belief" with "maintain the viewpoint" introduces a more formal and specific expression.

  20. "host of problems" -> "multitude of issues"
    Explanation: Substituting "host of problems" with "multitude of issues" maintains formality and introduces a more varied vocabulary choice.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument by presenting reasons for exploring extraterrestrial life and countering with the opinion favoring the allocation of resources to address Earthly problems. For example, the essay discusses the rationale behind searching for alien life, emphasizing the potential benefits such as emergency preparedness and space conquest. However, it could be more balanced in its treatment of both views, with a slightly longer discussion of the opposing perspective.
    • How to improve: To enhance the completeness of the response, consider allocating more space to the opposing view. Provide additional examples or counterarguments to strengthen the coverage of both sides of the argument.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent stance throughout, explicitly expressing agreement with the idea that governments should prioritize addressing Earthly problems over searching for extraterrestrial life. The position is evident in the thesis statement and reiterated in the conclusion.
    • How to improve: To further enhance clarity, ensure that each paragraph directly supports the chosen stance. Reiterate the position at strategic points to reinforce the essay’s overall coherence.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas. It elaborates on the reasons for searching for extraterrestrial life, including emergency preparedness and space conquest, and counters these with arguments about the considerable costs and limited tangible outcomes. Specific examples, such as the Mars Rover missions, are used to illustrate points.
    • How to improve: Consider providing more depth in the analysis of the examples used. Explain how the Mars Rover missions, for instance, specifically failed to conclusively prove the existence of extraterrestrial life. This additional detail will strengthen the argument and make it more persuasive.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, addressing the dichotomy between spending money on exploring extraterrestrial life and addressing Earthly problems. However, it briefly touches on challenges related to reaching other civilizations, which, while relevant, could be more directly tied to the prompt.
    • How to improve: To maintain a tighter focus, ensure that all points, even those related to challenges of space travel, are directly linked to the central theme of whether governments should spend money on exploring other planets or focus on Earthly issues.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong command of language and effectively communicates the writer’s perspective. To enhance the response, consider providing a more balanced treatment of both views, reinforcing the clarity of the chosen position, adding depth to examples, and maintaining a laser focus on the central theme throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It begins with a clear introduction stating the author’s position, followed by well-structured body paragraphs presenting arguments for and against spending money on the search for extraterrestrial life. The conclusion effectively summarizes the author’s stance.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider providing more explicit transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader through the essay’s structure. For instance, use phrases like "On the one hand," and "On the other hand," to signal shifts in focus.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay is adequately paragraphed with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, contributing to a coherent overall structure.
    • How to improve: While the essay is well-paragraphed, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity. Additionally, consider varying sentence structures within paragraphs to maintain reader engagement.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a range of cohesive devices, including transitional phrases (e.g., "arguably," "moreover," "furthermore," "in conclusion") and pronouns to connect ideas. These contribute to the overall coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: While cohesive devices are used effectively, consider incorporating a greater variety of linking words and phrases to add nuance and sophistication to the essay. Additionally, ensure that the usage of cohesive devices is consistently appropriate to maintain a seamless flow of ideas.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid level of coherence and cohesion. To improve, focus on enhancing explicit transitions, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices. These refinements will contribute to a more sophisticated and polished essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a commendable range of vocabulary, incorporating varied terms such as "divergence," "counteracting," "miscellaneous," "concur," "rationales," "exterminate," "conquest," "elusive," "efficacy," and "fruitfully." This diversity enhances the lexical resource, contributing to a solid foundation for expression.
    • How to improve: To further enrich vocabulary, consider incorporating more contextually appropriate synonyms or alternative expressions. For instance, instead of using "widely considered," explore phrases like "broadly acknowledged" or "commonly held."
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, as evident in phrases like "emergency preparedness for doomsday," "tangible outcomes are elusive," and "host of problems on Earth." However, there are instances where word choices could be refined for greater precision. For example, the phrase "most alarmingly climate change and pandemics" could be more precisely articulated to capture the severity of these threats.
    • How to improve: Refine language precision by selecting words that precisely convey the intended meaning. In this case, replacing "most alarmingly" with "notably" or "particularly" would enhance clarity and precision.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy. However, there are a few instances where errors are present, such as "goverments" (governments) and "dissuade" (conclusively). While these errors do not significantly impede understanding, they warrant attention for improvement.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider proofreading the essay carefully or utilizing spelling and grammar tools. Additionally, developing a habit of reviewing and correcting written work can contribute to minimizing such errors in future compositions.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong grasp of vocabulary, with room for refinement in precision and spelling accuracy. Continued attention to word choice and thorough proofreading will contribute to further elevating the lexical resource in future writing endeavors.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. It utilizes complex structures, such as conditional sentences ("were extraterrestrial life to be uncovered"), compound sentences ("Moreover, were extraterrestrial life to be uncovered, it would facilitate the conquest of space"), and well-crafted transitions. This adds sophistication and coherence to the essay, enhancing its overall quality.
    • How to improve: To further elevate the essay’s grammatical range, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures and idiomatic expressions. Additionally, pay attention to sentence length variation to maintain a balance between clarity and complexity.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical accuracy with few errors. However, there are instances where the choice of prepositions could be refined, such as "emergency preparedness for doomsday" (consider ‘preparedness against doomsday’). Additionally, the sentence "This begs the question about the efficacy…" is slightly awkward; ‘raises the question’ would be a more suitable phrase. Punctuation is generally correct, but careful attention to commas in complex sentences, like the one mentioning the Mars Rover missions, can enhance clarity.
    • How to improve: Proofread for preposition usage and refine the choice of words in certain expressions. Consider revisiting complex sentences to ensure precise punctuation, especially around clauses. A meticulous review will further polish grammatical accuracy.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical structures with minimal errors. To enhance the overall quality, focus on refining preposition usage, word choice, and punctuation in complex sentences. This will contribute to a more polished and sophisticated expression of ideas.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a debate about whether governments should allocate public funds for exploring new life on other planets or addressing various issues on Earth. I agree with the latter perspective.

Certainly, there are valid reasons for the pursuit of extraterrestrial life, primarily including preparedness for catastrophic events. Earth faces threats such as climate change and pandemics that endanger human existence. These pressing issues might be difficult to mitigate, and exploring outer space could offer potential solutions and safeguard humanity from extinction. Additionally, the exploration of outer space aligns with the longstanding human goal of conquering space. Thus, governments are tasked with investing public money in this endeavor.

However, it is essential to acknowledge that billions of dollars have already been invested in space research without yielding tangible results. For instance, while technologically advanced, the Mars Rover missions did not conclusively prove the existence of extraterrestrial life. This raises questions regarding the effectiveness of pouring large sums into such endeavors when there are urgent issues on Earth demanding immediate attention. In contrast, considerable progress has been made in addressing challenges like the Covid-19 pandemic and preventing World War III. Furthermore, if extraterrestrial civilizations do exist, reaching them presents a significant challenge, as leaving the solar system is currently considered unattainable for humans.

In conclusion, while spending public money on exploring new life in the cosmos is partially justifiable, I maintain the viewpoint that it is not the appropriate time to do so. Earth faces a multitude of issues that should be prioritized and addressed expeditiously.

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