Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience
Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets.
Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience
In numerous countries nowadays, investment for finding life outside the Earth has received many agreement from people, while others seen it as a meaningless of public budgets when the issues are currently exist in the world. While both perspectives have merit, I believe the most viable solution is to pursue explore other planets while addressing the recent problems effectively .
On the one hand, it is reasonable to argue that invest to search for planets is open up a new era and solve the people and natural issues.The universe with diversity of celestial bodies which can include many ores or mineral resources in order to solve the demand of production and industrial activities in the world if they can be mined.Additionally, lack of land and gap of ozone layer in the earth may lead to redundant people and negatively natural disaster caused by exploding population.At a result,exploring the galaxy is the key to address all of the risks while the current situation is that many necessary things is being extincted at a incredible speed because of exploiting disorderly.
On the other hand, it can be meaningless unless the problems from the mother planet can not be solved and all of budgets are useless. The world is now facing many difficults from many aspects and the people tend to find another place to live, they will take all of advantage of that planet as a result of a dead planet and this will be a loop forever if the people do not fix the issues righthere in our planet. Moreoever, the more effort to save the world, the more opportunities to find out more of information about the outside. When everything become ideal as well as the road to explore will become brightly instead of take no attention to the current issues.A research shows that the Mars is an ideal place for people to live and there will be the first person to land on in the next decade and at the same time, the ice is being melt dramatically, the ozone layer error and high temperature from the Sun will let the death to all of creatures so that it is useless to do everything when people are look down to the issues of the earth.
In conclusion, the benefits of finding new life in another planets are uncountable but the severe problems will appear everywhere if we do not solve it dramatically.In my opinion, raise awareness about saving the earth and exploration should be do at the same time by conservation and sustainable mining.As a result, our planet will shine beautifully in the future and all of galaxy will in our hand.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"investment for finding life outside the Earth" -> "investment in the search for extraterrestrial life"
Explanation: The phrase "investment for finding life outside the Earth" is awkward and vague. "Investment in the search for extraterrestrial life" is more precise and uses formal academic terminology. -
"received many agreement" -> "received widespread support"
Explanation: "Received many agreement" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "Received widespread support" is grammatically correct and clearer, enhancing the formal tone of the essay. -
"seen it as a meaningless of public budgets" -> "view it as a misuse of public funds"
Explanation: "Meaningless of public budgets" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "Misuse of public funds" is grammatically correct and clearly conveys the intended meaning. -
"pursue explore other planets" -> "pursue the exploration of other planets"
Explanation: "Pursue explore" is grammatically incorrect. "Pursue the exploration of" corrects this and maintains a formal tone. -
"invest to search for planets" -> "invest in the search for planets"
Explanation: Similar to the previous point, "invest to search for planets" is grammatically incorrect. "Invest in the search for planets" is grammatically correct and formal. -
"open up a new era" -> "open up a new era"
Explanation: This phrase is correct as it is, but it could be enhanced by specifying what kind of era it is, such as "open up a new era of space exploration" for clarity and precision. -
"solve the people and natural issues" -> "address human and environmental issues"
Explanation: "Solve the people and natural issues" is awkward and unclear. "Address human and environmental issues" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing. -
"lack of land and gap of ozone layer" -> "land scarcity and ozone layer depletion"
Explanation: "Lack of land and gap of ozone layer" is awkward and imprecise. "Land scarcity and ozone layer depletion" uses more precise and scientifically accurate terms. -
"redundant people" -> "overpopulation"
Explanation: "Redundant people" is incorrect and unclear. "Overpopulation" is the correct term and is widely recognized in academic and scientific contexts. -
"exploding population" -> "rapid population growth"
Explanation: "Exploding population" is an informal and metaphorical expression. "Rapid population growth" is a precise and formal term suitable for academic writing. -
"at a incredible speed" -> "at an incredible rate"
Explanation: "At a incredible speed" is grammatically incorrect. "At an incredible rate" corrects this and maintains a formal tone. -
"meaningless unless" -> "futile unless"
Explanation: "Meaningless" is too informal and vague for academic writing. "Futile" is a more precise and formal alternative. -
"difficults" -> "challenges"
Explanation: "Difficults" is not a standard word. "Challenges" is the correct term and is widely used in academic discourse. -
"take all of advantage of that planet" -> "exploit that planet"
Explanation: "Take all of advantage of that planet" is awkward and informal. "Exploit that planet" is concise and appropriate for formal writing. -
"a dead planet" -> "a desolate planet"
Explanation: "A dead planet" is metaphorical and informal. "A desolate planet" is a more precise and formal description. -
"fix the issues righthere" -> "address these issues effectively"
Explanation: "Fix the issues righthere" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "Address these issues effectively" is grammatically correct and maintains a formal tone. -
"Moreoever" -> "Moreover"
Explanation: "Moreoever" is a typographical error. "Moreover" is the correct spelling and is appropriate for formal writing. -
"the more effort to save the world" -> "the greater the effort to save the world"
Explanation: "The more effort to save the world" is grammatically incorrect. "The greater the effort to save the world" corrects this and enhances the sentence structure. -
"take no attention to the current issues" -> "ignore the current issues"
Explanation: "Take no attention to the current issues" is awkward and grammatically incorrect. "Ignore the current issues" is grammatically correct and clearer. -
"the more opportunities to find out more of information" -> "the more opportunities to gather more information"
Explanation: "Find out more of information" is awkward and grammatically incorrect. "Gather more information" is grammatically correct and more formal. -
"When everything become ideal" -> "
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding government spending on extraterrestrial life exploration and the pressing issues on Earth. The first paragraph outlines the argument for exploration, emphasizing potential benefits such as resource acquisition and addressing population pressures. The second paragraph presents the counterargument, highlighting the futility of exploring other planets if Earth’s problems remain unsolved. However, the essay could benefit from clearer distinctions between the two views and a more structured approach to discussing them.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, ensure that each viewpoint is presented in a balanced manner. Consider dedicating a full paragraph to each perspective, clearly stating the arguments and providing relevant examples. Additionally, explicitly linking back to the prompt in the conclusion can reinforce the discussion of both views.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer expresses a personal opinion that both exploration and addressing Earth’s issues should occur simultaneously. However, the position is somewhat muddled by the way it is presented, particularly in the concluding remarks, which could lead to confusion about the primary stance. The phrase "the benefits of finding new life in another planets are uncountable" suggests a strong inclination towards exploration, yet the subsequent emphasis on Earth’s problems dilutes this position.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, explicitly state your opinion in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument and ensure that each point made supports your overall stance.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the potential for resource acquisition and the dangers of neglecting Earth’s issues. However, some ideas are not fully developed or supported with concrete examples. For instance, the mention of Mars as a potential living space lacks specific evidence or examples to substantiate the claim. Additionally, the connection between the exploration of other planets and the resolution of Earth’s problems is not clearly articulated.
- How to improve: Focus on expanding each idea with specific examples or data to support your claims. For instance, when discussing resource acquisition, you could reference specific minerals or technologies that could be beneficial. Additionally, ensure that each idea is logically connected to the overall argument and that transitions between points are smooth.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the merits and drawbacks of government spending on space exploration versus addressing terrestrial issues. However, there are moments where the argument becomes convoluted, such as the discussion of population pressures and environmental degradation, which could distract from the main points. The phrase "the ozone layer error and high temperature from the Sun will let the death to all of creatures" introduces a new topicthat could detract from the central argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, regularly refer back to the main question and ensure that each point directly relates to the discussion of government spending priorities. Avoid introducing unrelated topics or overly complex ideas that could confuse the reader. Instead, keep the discussion concise and relevant to the prompt.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents relevant arguments, improvements can be made in clarity, structure, and support for ideas. By refining these aspects, the essay could achieve a higher band score in the Task Response criteria.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs discussing opposing views, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between ideas. For instance, in the first body paragraph, the transition from discussing the potential benefits of space exploration to the environmental issues on Earth could be smoother. The phrase "At a result" is awkward and the connection between the exploration of the galaxy and the extinction of resources is not clearly articulated.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. Additionally, using transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Conversely" can help clarify the relationships between ideas. Revising sentences for clarity and coherence will also improve the overall flow of the essay.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different viewpoints, which is a strength. However, the paragraphs could be more effectively structured. For example, the first body paragraph contains several ideas that could be broken down into clearer sub-points. The second body paragraph, while addressing counterarguments, tends to meander and lacks a clear focus, making it harder for the reader to follow the argument.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. The writer could benefit from starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and then elaborating on that point with supporting details. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a logical progression of ideas will enhance readability.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which effectively signal contrasting viewpoints. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences are weak. For example, phrases like "the more effort to save the world, the more opportunities to find out more of information about the outside" could be better connected to the preceding sentences to clarify the relationship.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "however," "therefore," "consequently," and "for instance." Additionally, ensuring that each sentence logically follows from the previous one will help create a more cohesive argument. Practicing the use of cohesive devices in various contexts can also help the writer become more comfortable with their application.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, focusing on improving logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance clarity and coherence, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some attempt to use a variety of vocabulary, such as "investment," "celestial bodies," and "redundant people." However, the range is limited, and there are instances of repetition, particularly with terms like "problems" and "issues." The phrase "meaningless of public budgets" is awkward and does not effectively convey the intended meaning.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should explore synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "issues," alternatives like "challenges," "concerns," or "difficulties" could be employed. Additionally, incorporating more advanced vocabulary related to the topic, such as "extraterrestrial," "sustainability," or "exploration," would enrich the essay.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, "investment for finding life outside the Earth" could be more accurately expressed as "investment in the search for extraterrestrial life." The phrase "meaningless of public budgets" is also unclear and could be better articulated as "a misallocation of public funds." Furthermore, "redundant people" does not convey a clear meaning in this context.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and appropriateness of word choice. Using a thesaurus to find more suitable words and ensuring that they fit the context would be beneficial. For instance, instead of "exploding population," a more precise term like "rapid population growth" could be used. Additionally, reviewing the essay for phrases that may not accurately express the intended meaning and replacing them with clearer alternatives would enhance overall precision.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that detract from the overall quality. For instance, "difficults" should be "difficulties," "incredible speed" is misspelled as "incredible speed," and "extincted" should be "extinct." Such errors can confuse the reader and undermine the writer’s credibility.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as writing exercises focused on commonly misspelled words. Utilizing spell-check tools and proofreading the essay multiple times before submission can also help catch errors. Additionally, reading extensively can help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and attempts to engage with a range of vocabulary, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource. Focusing on these areas will enhance clarity and effectiveness in communication.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some attempt at using a variety of sentence structures, such as complex sentences ("While both perspectives have merit, I believe the most viable solution is to pursue explore other planets while addressing the recent problems effectively.") and simple sentences. However, there are notable weaknesses in the execution. For instance, phrases like "investment for finding life outside the Earth has received many agreement" and "the issues are currently exist in the world" reflect awkward constructions and grammatical errors that hinder clarity. The use of conjunctions and transitions is limited, which affects the flow and coherence of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should practice incorporating more varied sentence types, such as conditional sentences, relative clauses, and more complex compound sentences. For example, instead of saying "it can be meaningless unless the problems from the mother planet can not be solved," a more complex structure could be "While exploring other planets may seem appealing, it becomes meaningless if we fail to address the pressing issues on Earth." Additionally, using transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In contrast," "Consequently") can help improve the flow of ideas and connect sentences more effectively.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors that detract from its overall quality. For example, "seen it as a meaningless of public budgets" should be "see it as a waste of public budgets," and "the issues are currently exist" is incorrect; it should be "the issues currently exist." Additionally, punctuation issues, such as missing commas and incorrect spacing (e.g., "At a result,exploring the galaxy" should be "As a result, exploring the galaxy"), create confusion and disrupt the reading experience. The use of articles is inconsistent, as seen in phrases like "the ozone layer error" which could be more clearly expressed.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, verb forms, and the correct use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, can be beneficial. Furthermore, proofreading the essay for punctuation and grammatical errors before submission can help catch mistakes. Reading more academic texts can also provide insight into proper grammatical structures and punctuation usage.
Overall, while the essay presents relevant ideas and arguments, significant improvements in grammatical range and accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on sentence variety, grammatical correctness, and punctuation will enhance the clarity and effectiveness of the writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
In numerous countries nowadays, investment in the search for extraterrestrial life has received widespread support from people, while others view it as a misuse of public funds when there are so many pressing issues on Earth. While both perspectives have merit, I believe the most viable solution is to pursue the exploration of other planets while effectively addressing current problems.
On the one hand, it is reasonable to argue that investing in the search for planets could open up a new era and help solve human and environmental issues. The universe is filled with a diversity of celestial bodies that may contain valuable ores or mineral resources, which could meet the demands of production and industrial activities on Earth if they can be mined. Additionally, land scarcity and ozone layer depletion may lead to overpopulation and natural disasters caused by rapid population growth. As a result, exploring the galaxy is key to addressing these risks, especially when many essential resources are being depleted at an incredible rate due to disorderly exploitation.
On the other hand, such efforts may be futile unless the problems on our home planet can be resolved; otherwise, all budgets allocated for space exploration could be deemed useless. The world is currently facing numerous challenges, and if people continue to seek another place to live, they may exploit that planet, leading to its desolation. This cycle could perpetuate indefinitely if we do not address the issues right here on Earth. Moreover, the greater the effort to save our world, the more opportunities we will have to gather information about the universe. When our situation improves, the path to exploration will become clearer, rather than ignoring current issues. Research shows that Mars is considered an ideal place for human habitation, with the first person expected to land there in the next decade. However, at the same time, ice is melting dramatically, the ozone layer is deteriorating, and rising temperatures from the Sun threaten all living creatures. Thus, it is futile to pursue exploration while neglecting the pressing issues on our planet.
In conclusion, the benefits of finding new life on other planets are numerous, but severe problems will continue to arise if we do not address them effectively. In my opinion, raising awareness about saving the Earth and pursuing exploration should occur simultaneously, through conservation and sustainable practices. As a result, our planet can thrive beautifully in the future, and the entire galaxy will be within our reach.
