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Some think that having ambition is a good quality. Is it important to be ambitious? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

Some think that having ambition is a good quality. Is it important to be ambitious? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

In many parts of the world, ambition is often highly appreciated, with individuals having ambitious goals often being praised and celebrated. I do believe that people should be ambitious and it is a positive trait when exercised within reasonable boundaries.

It is clear that having certain ambitions in life gives people a sense of direction. This can be best seen in the way the unemployed living off unemployment benefits usually fail to move on and are lured into society’s vices such as committing minor crimes, eventually turning them into a burden on their families and society as a whole. However, sociologists, psychologists, and psychoanalysts have pointed out that if such individuals establish specific goals for themselves, they can turn their lives around and become productive members of society. This is a testament to the importance of striving to obtain certain achievements in one’s life.

I am convinced that ambition is generally a positive characteristic once being employed within reasonable limits. Admittedly, there are cases where individuals push themselves too hard to attain something that is out of their reach, leading to mental, and physical exhaustion, and psychological problems such as anxiety, depression, lower self-esteem, and even suicidal thoughts. However, if ambition is utilized in a right manner, it can motivate one to strive for excellence in his life. For example, athletes, who desire to break the world’s record in their fields, often have more motivation to practice and compete or students who set their heart on studies tend to stand a better chance of attaining better academic results than their peers. These individuals, even when failing to realize their already-setting goals, still enhance their skills strengthen their willpower, and are far superior to those without such an ambitious aspiration.
To conclude, it is advisable that one set certain goals for oneself in their life, and being ambitious is predominantly a positive personal quality, especially when exploited properly.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "I do believe that people should be ambitious" -> "I firmly believe that individuals should cultivate ambition"
    Explanation: Replacing "I do believe that people should be ambitious" with "I firmly believe that individuals should cultivate ambition" introduces a more assertive and formal expression, aligning with academic style.

  2. "It is clear that having certain ambitions in life gives people a sense of direction" -> "It is evident that harboring specific aspirations in life provides individuals with a clear sense of purpose"
    Explanation: Substituting "having certain ambitions" with "harboring specific aspirations" and "gives people a sense of direction" with "provides individuals with a clear sense of purpose" enhances precision and formality, contributing to academic tone.

  3. "This can be best seen in the way the unemployed living off unemployment benefits usually fail to move on" -> "This is most evident in the manner in which unemployed individuals relying on unemployment benefits often struggle to progress"
    Explanation: Replacing "can be best seen" with "is most evident" and "fail to move on" with "struggle to progress" elevates the language to a more sophisticated level while maintaining clarity.

  4. "society’s vices" -> "negative societal influences"
    Explanation: Substituting "society’s vices" with "negative societal influences" provides a more formal and specific term, aligning with academic language.

  5. "committing minor crimes, eventually turning them into a burden on their families and society as a whole" -> "engaging in petty criminal activities, ultimately becoming a burden on both their families and society at large"
    Explanation: The replacement of "committing minor crimes" with "engaging in petty criminal activities" and "turning them into a burden" with "ultimately becoming a burden" contributes to a more refined and precise expression.

  6. "sociologists, psychologists, and psychoanalysts" -> "scholars in sociology, psychology, and psychoanalysis"
    Explanation: Substituting "sociologists, psychologists, and psychoanalysts" with "scholars in sociology, psychology, and psychoanalysis" employs more formal and specific terminology, adhering to academic conventions.

  7. "I am convinced that ambition is generally a positive characteristic once being employed within reasonable limits" -> "I am convinced that ambition is inherently a positive trait when exercised within reasonable boundaries"
    Explanation: Replacing "once being employed" with "when exercised" and "characteristic" with "trait" contributes to a more concise and formal expression of the idea.

  8. "push themselves too hard to attain something that is out of their reach" -> "exert excessive effort to achieve goals beyond their reach"
    Explanation: Substituting "push themselves too hard to attain something" with "exert excessive effort to achieve goals" enhances precision and formality.

  9. "leading to mental, and physical exhaustion, and psychological problems" -> "resulting in mental and physical exhaustion, as well as psychological issues"
    Explanation: The removal of commas after "mental" and "physical" and the addition of "as well as" contribute to a more grammatically correct and formal structure.

  10. "ambition is utilized in a right manner" -> "ambition is employed appropriately"
    Explanation: Replacing "utilized in a right manner" with "employed appropriately" maintains clarity while using more concise and formal language.

  11. "or students who set their heart on studies" -> "or students who are wholeheartedly dedicated to their studies"
    Explanation: Substituting "set their heart on studies" with "are wholeheartedly dedicated to their studies" provides a more formal and precise expression.

  12. "still enhance their skills strengthen their willpower" -> "still enhance their skills, strengthen their willpower"
    Explanation: Adding a comma between "skills" and "strengthen" corrects the punctuation, improving the grammatical structure.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses the various aspects of the prompt. It discusses both the positive and negative aspects of ambition and provides examples and reasoning to support the stance.
    • How to improve: To enhance completeness, consider adding more depth to the discussion of negative aspects and potential drawbacks of ambition. This will provide a more balanced perspective.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent position, asserting that ambition is generally positive when exercised within reasonable limits. The position is evident throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: While the position is clear, consider reinforcing it by explicitly restating the main stance in the conclusion to leave no room for ambiguity.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas effectively, supporting them with examples such as the unemployed and athletes. However, some points could benefit from further elaboration to strengthen the argument.
    • How to improve: Expand on the examples provided to offer more depth and clarity. Additionally, consider including a counterargument to demonstrate a nuanced understanding of the topic.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, discussing the importance of ambition and its positive and negative aspects. However, there are moments where the discussion becomes somewhat general.
    • How to improve: Ensure that each point directly relates to the prompt. Avoid vague statements and provide more specific details to maintain focus and relevance.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the prompt, providing a well-argued stance on the importance of ambition. To improve, consider adding more depth to the discussion of negative aspects, reinforcing the main position in the conclusion, elaborating further on examples, and ensuring all points directly relate to the prompt. Overall, a well-structured and coherent response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. The introduction sets the stage by presenting the topic and the author’s stance on ambition. The body paragraphs follow a coherent structure, starting with the positive impact of ambition, acknowledging potential pitfalls, and finally, presenting a balanced view. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the importance of ambition.
    • How to improve: While the overall organization is solid, consider refining the transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow. Use explicit linking words or phrases to guide the reader through the logical progression of ideas.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs, with each one focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction and conclusion are appropriately structured, and each body paragraph explores a distinct facet of the topic.
    • How to improve: To further improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. Additionally, strive for a more seamless transition between paragraphs by using cohesive devices to connect ideas and maintain a smooth flow.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as transition words ("however," "for example," "to conclude") and pronouns ("this," "these"). These devices contribute to the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay, helping to connect ideas and guide the reader.
    • How to improve: While cohesive devices are used, consider incorporating a wider range to add sophistication to the writing. Experiment with more advanced linking words and explore different ways to connect ideas, such as parallel structures or rhetorical devices.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a solid level of coherence and cohesion, earning a Band Score of 7. To further improve, focus on refining transitions, ensuring clear topic sentences in each paragraph, and expanding the repertoire of cohesive devices for a more nuanced and sophisticated presentation of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary. The writer employs various words and phrases to express ideas, and the use of vocabulary contributes to the clarity of the essay. For instance, the author uses words like "ambition," "productive members," "excellence," and "aspiration," showcasing diversity.
    • How to improve: To further enhance vocabulary usage, consider incorporating more nuanced terms and exploring synonyms for frequently used words. This can add sophistication to the writing without compromising clarity. For example, instead of repeatedly using "ambition," consider alternatives like "aspirations," "endeavors," or "goals."
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary precisely, with a clear and accurate expression of ideas. However, there are instances where more specific terms could be employed. For instance, the phrase "employment within reasonable limits" could be refined to "moderation in pursuing goals" for a more precise description.
    • How to improve: Pay attention to the context in which words are used, and strive for the most accurate and specific terms. Review sentences where there is room for greater precision, ensuring that each word contributes precisely to the intended meaning.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy. There are no noticeable spelling errors throughout the essay, contributing to the overall professionalism of the writing.
    • How to improve: To maintain this standard, continue practicing meticulous proofreading. Consider utilizing spelling and grammar tools to catch any potential errors. Additionally, be cautious with homophones (words that sound the same but have different meanings) and double-check the spelling of less common words.

In conclusion, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resources, showcasing a wide vocabulary range with generally precise usage and excellent spelling accuracy. To further elevate the lexical richness, focus on incorporating more diverse and nuanced vocabulary. Keep refining precision in word choice to convey ideas with utmost clarity.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably wide range of sentence structures. There is a mix of simple and complex sentences, and the use of varied vocabulary contributes to the overall fluency of the essay. The author successfully employs compound and complex sentences, enhancing the overall coherence and cohesion. However, there is a slight tendency towards the repetitive use of certain sentence structures, particularly in the latter part of the essay.
    • How to improve: To further enhance the grammatical range and maintain reader engagement, consider experimenting with different sentence structures. Introduce more complex sentence constructions, such as the use of conditional clauses or inverted sentences, to add variety. Additionally, be mindful of potential repetitive patterns in sentence formation, ensuring a dynamic and engaging writing style.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are instances of minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues and inconsistent tense usage. Punctuation is used effectively for the most part, but there are occasional errors, particularly with commas and sentence fragments. For example, "Admittedly, there are cases where individuals push themselves too hard to attain something that is out of their reach" could benefit from a more precise use of punctuation.
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage throughout the essay. Proofread for punctuation errors, ensuring that commas are appropriately placed, and sentence fragments are avoided. In the mentioned example, consider rephrasing or using punctuation more effectively to clarify the intended meaning. Reviewing grammar rules and practicing with diverse sentence structures will contribute to overall grammatical accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

In numerous regions globally, the quality of ambition is frequently valued, with individuals pursuing ambitious objectives often receiving commendation and recognition. I firmly believe that individuals should cultivate ambition, and it is evident that harboring specific aspirations in life provides individuals with a clear sense of purpose. This is most evident in the manner in which unemployed individuals relying on unemployment benefits often struggle to progress, falling prey to negative societal influences, engaging in petty criminal activities, ultimately becoming a burden on both their families and society at large.

Scholars in sociology, psychology, and psychoanalysis have highlighted that if such individuals establish particular goals for themselves, they can redirect their lives and become valuable contributors to society. This underscores the importance of striving to achieve specific milestones in one’s life.

I am convinced that ambition is inherently a positive trait when exercised within reasonable boundaries. While it is true that some individuals exert excessive effort to achieve goals beyond their reach, resulting in mental and physical exhaustion, as well as psychological issues such as anxiety and depression, ambition can be a force for good when employed appropriately. Athletes, aspiring to break world records in their respective fields, often exhibit heightened motivation to practice and compete. Similarly, students who are wholeheartedly dedicated to their studies tend to not only enhance their skills but also strengthen their willpower.

In conclusion, I maintain that setting certain goals in life is advisable, and being ambitious is predominantly a positive personal quality, especially when exploited properly. Ambition, when channeled appropriately, can be a powerful motivator for individuals to strive for excellence in various aspects of their lives.

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