Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In this day and age, many universities encourage online courses as an alternative to offline classes delivered on campus. From my point of view, I think this former view has both positive and negative development due to the following reasons.
On the one hand, I believe that online courses are very convenient for students. They can study everywhere just with an electric device such as a computer, smartphone, etc. to access online courses without going to the colleges. They are also able to record the essential lessons and revise them. For example, during the Covid-19 period, online courses played a crucial role in teaching and learning. It helped students learn when they could not go outside to go to the university. Therefore, I think online courses have beneficial effects in some cases.

On the other hand, I think that online courses also have some negative influences. Students can be easily disturbed by their electric gadgets and difficult to maintain their concentration while studying online. To exemplify, They will be distracted by the coming calls from their phone and also the notifications from the apps, games, and so on. This is the factor that contributes to the consequence that they cannot comprehend the lesson and miss crucial details. Besides that, students can easily cheat when doing the examination online. This leads to the unfairness between their scores. As a result, I think online courses still have negative influences.

In conclusion, I believe that online courses both have positive and negative influences.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In this day and age" -> "In contemporary times"
Explanation: Replacing the informal expression "In this day and age" with "In contemporary times" aligns with a more formal tone and avoids colloquial language.
"I think this former view has both positive and negative development" -> "I believe this perspective has both advantages and drawbacks"
Explanation: Substituting "I think this former view has both positive and negative development" with "I believe this perspective has both advantages and drawbacks" provides a more academic tone and uses synonyms that are more formal and precise.
"electric device such as a computer, smartphone, etc." -> "electronic devices such as computers and smartphones"
Explanation: Using "electronic devices such as computers and smartphones" is more concise and formal compared to listing examples with "etc."
"They are also able to record the essential lessons" -> "Students can also capture essential lessons"
Explanation: The revised phrase is more concise and maintains a formal tone.
"For example, during the Covid-19 period" -> "For instance, amid the COVID-19 pandemic"
Explanation: Substituting "during the Covid-19 period" with "amid the COVID-19 pandemic" employs more formal and precise terminology.
"played a crucial role in teaching and learning" -> "played a pivotal role in education"
Explanation: Replacing "played a crucial role in teaching and learning" with "played a pivotal role in education" utilizes a more formal and academic vocabulary choice.
"negative influences" -> "adverse effects"
Explanation: "Adverse effects" is a more formal and precise phrase compared to "negative influences."
"disturbed by their electric gadgets" -> "distracted by their electronic devices"
Explanation: Using "distracted by their electronic devices" maintains a formal tone and avoids the colloquial term "gadgets."
"coming calls from their phone" -> "incoming calls on their phones"
Explanation: "Incoming calls on their phones" is a more formal and precise expression.
"notifications from the apps, games, and so on" -> "notifications from applications, games, and similar sources"
Explanation: The revised phrase is more formal and avoids the casual "and so on."
"This is the factor that contributes to the consequence" -> "This factor contributes to the resulting"
Explanation: The suggested change uses more formal and precise language.
"they cannot comprehend the lesson and miss crucial details" -> "they may struggle to grasp the lesson and overlook vital details"
Explanation: The revised sentence maintains a formal tone while providing a more elaborate description.
"students can easily cheat" -> "students can engage in academic dishonesty"
Explanation: "Engage in academic dishonesty" is a more formal and accurate way to express cheating in an academic context.
"unfairness between their scores" -> "inequity in their scores"
Explanation: "Inequity in their scores" is a more formal and precise term than "unfairness between their scores."
"I believe that online courses both have positive and negative influences." -> "In conclusion, I contend that online courses have both advantages and disadvantages."
Explanation: The revised conclusion statement is more formal and uses synonyms that are academically appropriate.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of online courses as an alternative to on-campus classes, as required by the prompt. It discusses the convenience of online courses and the potential distractions and issues associated with them.
- How to improve: While the essay touches on both sides of the argument, it could provide more specific examples and evidence to support its points. Additionally, it could benefit from a more structured approach, clearly outlining the positive and negative aspects in separate paragraphs.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay takes a somewhat balanced approach by acknowledging both positive and negative aspects of online courses. However, the writer’s personal stance is not explicitly stated until the conclusion, where it is briefly mentioned. The essay would benefit from a stronger and clearer position statement throughout.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer should clearly state their position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. This will help readers understand the writer’s viewpoint more effectively.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas, but they are somewhat underdeveloped. It provides some general points about convenience and distractions but lacks specific examples or detailed explanations to support these ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance the essay’s quality, the writer should provide specific examples and further elaborate on their points. Including real-life scenarios or statistics could strengthen the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic and discusses the positive and negative aspects of online courses as an alternative to on-campus classes. However, there are some minor deviations, such as mentioning the Covid-19 period without directly relating it to the topic.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points discussed directly relate to the topic of online courses versus on-campus classes. Avoid tangential mentions that do not contribute to the argument.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a decent understanding of the topic and effectively addresses both sides of the argument. To improve, the writer should provide more specific examples, maintain a clear and consistent stance, and avoid minor deviations from the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally organizes information logically by presenting both the positive and negative aspects of online courses. It follows a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs (one for the positive aspects and one for the negative aspects), and a brief conclusion.
- How to improve: To further enhance the logical flow, consider providing a more explicit thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your stance on whether online courses are a positive or negative development. Additionally, ensure that the ideas within each paragraph flow smoothly and are well-connected to each other.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different points and ideas. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, such as the convenience of online courses and their potential drawbacks.
- How to improve: While the essay uses paragraphs appropriately, you can strengthen their effectiveness by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. This will help readers understand the purpose of each paragraph more easily.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices to connect ideas, such as transition words like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand." These devices help in presenting contrasting viewpoints.
- How to improve: To improve coherence further, consider incorporating a wider variety of cohesive devices such as pronouns (e.g., "this," "these"), conjunctions (e.g., "however," "therefore"), and synonyms to avoid repetition. This will make the essay more cohesive and easier to follow for the reader.

Overall, your essay effectively presents both sides of the argument and maintains a logical structure. To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on providing a clearer thesis statement in the introduction, ensuring each paragraph has a strong topic sentence, and diversifying your use of cohesive devices for a more polished and cohesive essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a reasonably wide range of vocabulary throughout, with the use of various words and phrases such as "convenient," "essential lessons," "crucial role," "distracted," and "unfairness." However, there is some repetition of words like "online courses," which could be diversified to enhance the lexical variety.
- How to improve: To further enhance the range of vocabulary, consider using synonyms and different expressions to replace repeated terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly mentioning "online courses," you could use phrases like "digital education" or "internet-based learning" occasionally.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with reasonable precision. However, there are instances where word choices could be more accurate. For example, when discussing students being "disturbed by their electric gadgets," the word "distracted" might be a more precise choice. Additionally, when discussing cheating, you could use a more specific term like "academic dishonesty" to precisely convey the idea.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, carefully choose words that precisely convey your intended meaning. Utilize a thesaurus to find more specific synonyms when appropriate.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an acceptable level of spelling accuracy, with only minor issues such as "electric" instead of "electronic" and "unfairness" instead of "injustice." Overall, the spelling errors do not significantly impact the essay’s readability.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, proofread your essay carefully, and consider using spelling and grammar checking tools to catch minor errors. Expanding your vocabulary can also help reduce reliance on words with complex spelling.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fairly wide range of sentence structures. It employs simple and complex sentences effectively. For instance, simple sentences like "They can study everywhere just with an electric device such as a computer, smartphone, etc." are mixed with complex sentences such as "During the Covid-19 period, online courses played a crucial role in teaching and learning." This variety enhances the overall readability of the essay.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating compound-complex sentences and using more varied transitions. For example, instead of repeatedly starting sentences with "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," explore alternatives like "Furthermore" or "Conversely."
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains good grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. Examples of these errors include: "This former view has both positive and negative development," which should be "This format has both positive and negative aspects" or "This approach has both advantages and disadvantages." Additionally, there’s an instance where "To exemplify," should be "For example," and "They will be distracted by the coming calls from their phone and also the notifications from the apps, games, and so on," where "coming calls" should be "incoming calls."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it’s crucial to proofread the essay carefully and pay attention to subject-verb agreement, articles (e.g., "a computer" should be "an electric device such as a computer"), and preposition use. Also, be cautious about word choices and idiomatic expressions to ensure clarity.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a commendable use of varied sentence structures and generally accurate grammar and punctuation. To improve further, the writer should focus on eliminating minor errors and refining sentence transitions for enhanced clarity and coherence.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary times, many universities promote online courses as an alternative to traditional in-person classes conducted on campus. I believe this perspective has both advantages and drawbacks.

On the positive side, online courses offer students great convenience. They can study from any location using electronic devices such as computers and smartphones. Students can also capture essential lessons and review them at their convenience. For instance, amid the COVID-19 pandemic, online courses played a pivotal role in education. They allowed students to continue their studies when physical attendance at universities was not possible. Therefore, online courses have beneficial effects in certain situations.

However, there are also adverse effects associated with online courses. Students can easily get distracted by their electronic devices, making it challenging to maintain their concentration while studying online. For example, incoming calls on their phones and notifications from applications, games, and similar sources can disrupt their focus. This factor contributes to the resulting difficulty in comprehending the lesson and overlooking vital details. Furthermore, online courses can create opportunities for academic dishonesty, which can result in inequity in their scores.

In conclusion, I contend that online courses have both advantages and disadvantages.