Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? (Positive or Negative)

Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on
campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? (Positive or Negative)

Online applications and electronic platforms for connection and communication are no longer strange. Accordingly, more and more universities are using it as an alternative to face-to-face teaching, to me it is a beneficial development and the following article will give reasons as well as reinforce the evidence. specific examples.
First and foremost, the most significant reason is that online teaching is very convenient and does not depend on distance or space. You only need an electronic device and the internet to be able to study at home, for example during a pandemic. Covid-19 is almost quarantined around the world and when schools are closed, online teaching has become very popular, millions of students have learned online without having to go to school, it has contributed greatly to the cause of prevention stop the pandemic from spreading.
Next, we can also mention that online learning helps lectures become more lively, new and attractive with technology that helps teachers interact with many students at the same time. For example, online games or colorful presentations have helped students at universities feel more interested in class. However, we cannot deny that it brings some disadvantages, teachers cannot completely control students because they cannot meet students directly, students will easily play video games and not care about anything long with that, it can significantly reduce the value of the lesson and waste time.
In summary, online teaching as an option for face-to-face learning brings great benefits, but it cannot be denied the harmful effects it brings if not used properly.

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Errors and Improvements:

1. "are no longer strange" -> "are no longer unfamiliar"
   Explanation: Replacing "are no longer strange" with "are no longer unfamiliar" eliminates informal language and substitutes a more academically appropriate term, maintaining the formality of the essay.

2. "to me it is a beneficial development" -> "from my perspective, it is a positive development"
   Explanation: Replacing "to me it is a beneficial development" with "from my perspective, it is a positive development" introduces a more formal and objective tone, aligning with academic writing standards.

3. "reinforce the evidence" -> "provide supporting evidence"
   Explanation: Changing "reinforce the evidence" to "provide supporting evidence" enhances the precision of the expression, making it more suitable for academic discourse.

4. "First and foremost" -> "Primarily"
   Explanation: Substituting "First and foremost" with "Primarily" elevates the formality of the transition, contributing to a more academic style without losing clarity.

5. "online teaching is very convenient" -> "online instruction is highly convenient"
   Explanation: Replacing "online teaching is very convenient" with "online instruction is highly convenient" utilizes more formal language while conveying the same idea with greater sophistication.

6. "it has contributed greatly to the cause of prevention stop the pandemic from spreading" -> "it has significantly contributed to preventing the spread of the pandemic"
   Explanation: Adjusting "it has contributed greatly to the cause of prevention stop the pandemic from spreading" to "it has significantly contributed to preventing the spread of the pandemic" improves the clarity and formality of the sentence.

7. "Next, we can also mention that" -> "Furthermore, it is worth noting that"
   Explanation: Substituting "Next, we can also mention that" with "Furthermore, it is worth noting that" adds a more formal and structured transition to the following point, adhering to academic conventions.

8. "helps lectures become more lively" -> "enhances lectures’ dynamism"
   Explanation: Changing "helps lectures become more lively" to "enhances lectures’ dynamism" employs a more precise and formal expression without sacrificing clarity.

9. "However, we cannot deny that it brings some disadvantages" -> "Nevertheless, it is undeniable that it has certain drawbacks"
   Explanation: Replacing "However, we cannot deny that it brings some disadvantages" with "Nevertheless, it is undeniable that it has certain drawbacks" maintains a formal tone while providing a nuanced and refined expression of the counterargument.

10. "long with that" -> "alongside that"
    Explanation: Substituting "long with that" with "alongside that" introduces a more formal and cohesive term, contributing to the overall academic style of the essay.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay partially addresses all parts of the question. It acknowledges the positive aspect of online teaching but also highlights some negative consequences. However, the discussion on the negative aspects is limited.
  • How to improve: To enhance task response, provide a more balanced discussion of both positive and negative aspects. Expand on the negative effects with specific examples and ensure that all aspects of the prompt are thoroughly covered.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position in favor of online teaching. However, towards the end, it introduces negative aspects, creating some ambiguity about the author’s stance.
  • How to improve: Maintain a consistent stance throughout the essay. If there’s a shift in perspective, make it clear and ensure that the overall position is evident to the reader.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas, such as the convenience of online learning during a pandemic, but lacks in-depth development and supporting evidence. It briefly mentions benefits and drawbacks without detailed elaboration.
  • How to improve: Provide more specific examples and elaborate on each point. Support arguments with relevant evidence, statistics, or personal experiences to strengthen the overall argumentation.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic but deviates towards the end when discussing the disadvantages of online learning. While relevant, it could be integrated more smoothly into the overall structure.
  • How to improve: Ensure a seamless transition between discussing positive and negative aspects. Connect each point to the main topic, maintaining a clear focus on whether online courses are a positive or negative development.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the prompt and provides a coherent argument, there is room for improvement in addressing all aspects of the question, maintaining a consistent stance, developing ideas with more depth, and ensuring a smoother transition between different points.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. The introduction sets the stage by addressing the relevance of online teaching, followed by two main supporting points. The first point discusses the convenience of online learning, particularly during a pandemic, and the second point addresses the use of technology for more engaging lectures. The essay concludes by acknowledging both benefits and drawbacks.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider a more explicit thesis statement in the introduction that clearly states the position on whether online courses are positive or negative. Additionally, ensure a smooth transition between paragraphs to create a more cohesive flow. Each paragraph should build on the previous one, reinforcing the main argument.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: Paragraphing is generally adequate, with clear separation of ideas. However, there is room for improvement in terms of structure. The second paragraph, for instance, is quite lengthy and covers multiple subpoints, leading to a potential loss of clarity.
  • How to improve: Break down the second paragraph into smaller, focused paragraphs, each addressing a specific aspect of online learning. This will enhance readability and help readers follow the argument more easily. Additionally, ensure a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph to signal its main idea.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs basic cohesive devices such as transition words (e.g., "First and foremost," "Next," "In summary"). However, there is a need for more variety and precision in their use to strengthen the overall coherence.
  • How to improve: Introduce a wider range of cohesive devices such as pronouns, conjunctions, and adverbs to create smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs. This will improve the overall flow and coherence of the essay. For instance, use words like "Moreover," "Nevertheless," or "On the other hand" to signal different aspects of the argument.

In conclusion, while the essay effectively presents its points, refining the thesis statement, improving paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to a more polished and cohesive piece of writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. While the writer introduces terms related to online education, such as "electronic platforms" and "online teaching," there is room for improvement. The use of phrases like "new and attractive" and "contributed greatly" is somewhat generic and lacks specificity.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of vocabulary, consider incorporating more specific and contextually relevant terms. Instead of using general expressions like "significant reason," provide concrete examples or details that enrich the content. For instance, describe particular technological tools used in online teaching, or elaborate on the methods through which online learning became popular during the Covid-19 pandemic.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The precision of vocabulary usage is inconsistent. While some terms are appropriately employed, such as "quarantined" and "lively," there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For example, the phrase "contributed greatly" could be replaced with a more specific term, and the word "long" in the sentence "not care about anything long with that" seems out of place.
  • How to improve: Aim for precision by selecting words that convey your intended meaning more accurately. Instead of using broad terms like "contributed greatly," specify the exact ways in which online teaching positively impacted the pandemic situation. Regarding the phrase "not care about anything long with that," consider rephrasing for clarity, such as "not pay attention to anything as a result."

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The spelling accuracy is generally satisfactory. However, there are some notable errors, such as "lectures" instead of "lessons" and "quarantined" instead of "quarantine." These errors, while not pervasive, affect the overall spelling accuracy.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, proofread the essay carefully, paying close attention to common words and terms. Additionally, consider using tools like spell checkers or asking for feedback from peers to catch any overlooked errors. Specifically, be mindful of words like "lectures" and ensure they align with the intended meaning, or correct them to "lessons" if necessary.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates an adequate level of lexical resource, improvements can be made in terms of vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. Incorporating specific details and refining word choices will contribute to a more nuanced and sophisticated expression of ideas.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of sentence structures. Simple and complex sentences are used, though there is room for improvement in terms of variety. For instance, there is a tendency towards shorter sentences, and some complexity could be added by incorporating compound or compound-complex structures. The essay would benefit from more varied sentence lengths to enhance overall fluency.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical range, consider incorporating compound and compound-complex sentence structures. For example, instead of relying on straightforward sentences, try combining ideas using coordinating conjunctions (and, but, so) and subordinating conjunctions (although, because). This will create a more varied and sophisticated sentence structure, contributing to a higher band score.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical accuracy, with only a few noticeable errors. For instance, there is a missing article in "the following article will give reasons," and the phrase "stop the pandemic from spreading" could be improved to "prevent the pandemic from spreading." Punctuation is used appropriately, although some sentences could benefit from more precise punctuation, such as the use of commas for clarity in complex structures.
  • How to improve: Pay close attention to articles and prepositions to ensure proper usage. Additionally, consider refining punctuation use for more complex sentences. For instance, use commas to set off non-essential information within sentences, enhancing clarity. In the sentence, "For example, online games or colorful presentations have helped students at universities feel more interested in class," consider placing a comma after "online games" to better separate the examples and improve readability.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates competence in grammatical range and accuracy, incorporating a greater variety of sentence structures and fine-tuning grammar and punctuation will contribute to a more polished and sophisticated piece.

Bài sửa mẫu

Online applications and electronic platforms for connection and communication are no longer unfamiliar. From my perspective, it is a positive development that more universities are utilizing them as an alternative to traditional face-to-face teaching. In this essay, I will provide supporting evidence for this viewpoint.

Primarily, online instruction is highly convenient and does not depend on physical distance or space. All that is required is an electronic device and internet access, enabling students to study from the comfort of their homes, especially during challenging times like a pandemic. The widespread closure of schools due to the global Covid-19 quarantine led to the surge in popularity of online teaching. Millions of students were able to continue learning without having to physically attend school, significantly contributing to the prevention of the pandemic’s spread.

Furthermore, it is worth noting that online learning enhances lectures’ dynamism by introducing technology that fosters interaction between teachers and students. For instance, online games and colorful presentations make classes more interesting, capturing the attention of university students. However, it is undeniable that online instruction has certain drawbacks. Teachers face challenges in maintaining complete control over students since direct meetings are not possible. This situation may lead students to engage in activities like playing video games, resulting in a lack of focus and potential time wastage, thereby reducing the overall value of the lesson.

Nevertheless, it is essential to recognize that the benefits of online teaching as an alternative to face-to-face learning are substantial. Despite its drawbacks, proper utilization of online instruction can offer great advantages in terms of accessibility and engagement. In conclusion, while acknowledging the potential harmful effects, the positive aspects make online teaching a valuable option when implemented effectively.