Students at schools and universities learn far more lessons from teachers than from other sources (such as the internet and television). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a standpoint that students could acquire more knowledge from teachers than from other sources. Although I find this viewpoint reasonable for several justifications, I personally believe that students probably study from both teachers and other sources.

Admittedly, several determinants could lead people to this thought. One main reason is that face-to-face interactions facilitate acquisition of students. To be specific, teachers could provide students with direct communication as well as locate their misconceptions and timely correct them, thereby ensuring the quality and productivity of the studying process. In addition, another noticable justification is the tailored teaching methods that are appropriate with different learners’ needs and interests. To elaborate, with closer observation for students, tutors can create an individualized curriculum for each learner, which helps them to reach their full potential and overcome weaknesses that they had to suffer from during learning duration.

However, I am of the opinion that the knowledge acquisition from other sources should not be overlooked. One key reason for this viewpoint is that learners could access enormous volumes of learning materials from credible sources. For instance, dozens of websites of respectable universities and free language online tests afford a great vehicle for autodidacts to expand their knowledge without academic instructors. Additionally, immediately updated news is probably an alternative method for outmoded information in traditional educational curriculums. For example, all of international affairs and scientific breakthroughs, which are pieces of on-time information, could enable youngsters to keep pace with the development of this ever-changing world.

In conclusion, there are several justifications that can explain the standpoint that students at schools and universities learn far more lessons from tutors than from other sources. However, I personally believe that students probably study from both teachers and other sources, and the knowledge acquisition from other sources should not be overlooked.

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Errors and Improvements:

"There is a standpoint" -> "There is a perspective"
Explanation: "Standpoint" is less commonly used in academic writing compared to "perspective," which is more precise and formal.
"justifications" -> "rationales" or "reasons"
Explanation: "Rationales" or "reasons" are more sophisticated alternatives to "justifications," enhancing the formality of the language.
"probably" -> "likely" or "potentially"
Explanation: "Probably" is too informal for academic writing; "likely" or "potentially" are more appropriate alternatives.
"Admittedly" -> "Granted" or "It is acknowledged"
Explanation: "Admittedly" is somewhat informal; "Granted" or "It is acknowledged" maintain formality while expressing concession.
"determinants" -> "factors" or "contributors"
Explanation: "Determinants" is less commonly used and might sound overly technical; "factors" or "contributors" are clearer and more accessible.
"facilitate acquisition of students" -> "facilitate students’ acquisition"
Explanation: Restructuring the phrase for clarity and precision.
"locate their misconceptions" -> "identify their misconceptions"
Explanation: "Locate" is less precise; "identify" is clearer and more formal.
"noticable" -> "notable"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling to "notable" maintains formal correctness.
"justification" -> "rationale" or "reason"
Explanation: "Justification" is redundant in this context; "rationale" or "reason" is more concise.
"autodidacts" -> "self-learners"
Explanation: "Autodidacts" may be too technical; "self-learners" is a more accessible term.
"outmoded" -> "obsolete"
Explanation: "Obsolete" is a more precise and formal term than "outmoded."
"on-time information" -> "timely information"
Explanation: "On-time" is ambiguous; "timely" is clearer in expressing the idea of up-to-date information.
"international affairs" -> "global events" or "world affairs"
Explanation: "International affairs" is slightly redundant; "global events" or "world affairs" are more concise alternatives.
"ever-changing" -> "constantly evolving"
Explanation: "Constantly evolving" is a more formal and precise term than "ever-changing."
"far more lessons" -> "a greater proportion of lessons"
Explanation: "Far more" is too colloquial; "a greater proportion of" is more formal and precise.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both sides of the argument, acknowledging the viewpoint that students learn more from teachers while also presenting the perspective that learning also occurs from other sources. The introduction sets up this balanced approach by acknowledging the validity of the opposing view before stating the author’s opinion. Throughout the essay, there is a clear attempt to engage with all aspects of the prompt.
- How to improve: To further enhance the response, ensure that each paragraph explicitly connects back to the prompt and clearly addresses different aspects of the question. This can be achieved by structuring the essay in a way that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument and provides comprehensive analysis and evidence.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent position throughout, which is evident from the thesis statement in the introduction to the concluding remarks. The author’s stance that students learn from both teachers and other sources is reiterated and supported throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, consider refining the thesis statement to be more explicit about the author’s stance on the issue. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph reinforces this position and avoids ambiguity or conflicting statements.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas by providing reasons and examples to support both sides of the argument. Each paragraph introduces a new idea and elaborates on it with relevant examples. However, some ideas could benefit from further development and elaboration to strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, consider providing more detailed explanations and examples for each point made. Additionally, ensure that ideas are logically connected and that transitions between paragraphs are smooth to improve coherence and cohesion.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by addressing the central question of whether students learn more from teachers or other sources. However, there are instances where the discussion slightly deviates, such as when discussing the benefits of tailored teaching methods and access to online resources.
- How to improve: To maintain focus on the topic, ensure that every point made directly relates to the central argument and contributes to answering the prompt. Be mindful of tangential discussions and stay grounded in the main argument throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear position, there is room for improvement in fully developing ideas and maintaining strict relevance to the topic. By refining the structure, providing more detailed explanations and examples, and ensuring coherence throughout, the essay can further strengthen its argument and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a logical organization overall. It begins with a clear introduction that presents both sides of the argument, followed by body paragraphs that provide supporting points for each perspective. The conclusion neatly summarizes the author’s stance. Transitions between ideas are generally smooth, aiding the flow of the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider refining the transition phrases between paragraphs to ensure seamless connectivity between ideas. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point to avoid potential confusion for the reader.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to structure its ideas. Each paragraph introduces and elaborates on a distinct aspect of the argument, contributing to the coherence of the essay. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly delineated, aiding readability.
- How to improve: While the paragraphs are generally well-structured, there is an opportunity to strengthen topic sentences to provide clearer guidance on the focus of each paragraph. Ensuring that each paragraph maintains unity and coherence will further enhance the effectiveness of the essay’s organization.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Transition words and phrases such as "although," "admittedly," "in addition," and "in conclusion" are used effectively to signal shifts between points and paragraphs. Pronouns and referencing are also used appropriately to maintain cohesion.
- How to improve: While cohesive devices are utilized adequately, incorporating a wider range of transition words and synonyms can further enrich the essay’s coherence. Additionally, ensure consistent use of pronouns and referencing to avoid ambiguity and strengthen the connection between ideas.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, refining the use of transition phrases, strengthening topic sentences, and diversifying cohesive devices can elevate the clarity and coherence of the essay, ultimately enhancing its overall impact on the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, incorporating varied terms such as "acquire," "misconceptions," "tailored," "individualized," "autodidacts," "credible," "outmoded," and "ever-changing." These words contribute to the depth and richness of expression throughout the essay, enhancing the overall coherence and sophistication of the argument.
- How to improve: To further enrich the lexical resource, consider integrating specialized vocabulary related to education and learning, such as pedagogy, didactics, cognitive development, or educational psychology. Additionally, incorporating more academic or domain-specific terminology can elevate the discourse and demonstrate a higher level of linguistic proficiency.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying ideas and arguments. For example, phrases like "facilitate acquisition," "tailored teaching methods," and "enormous volumes of learning materials" are used accurately to articulate specific concepts. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For instance, the phrase "noticable justification" might be substituted with a more precise term like "salient rationale" for greater clarity and sophistication.
- How to improve: Continuously strive for precision in vocabulary usage by selecting words that precisely convey intended meanings. Avoid vague or ambiguous terms, opting instead for specific and nuanced language that enhances the clarity and impact of the argument. Utilize resources such as a thesaurus or academic texts to explore alternative terms and refine expression.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of spelling accuracy, with few discernible errors throughout the text. Spelling accuracy significantly contributes to the overall readability and professionalism of the essay, ensuring that the reader can focus on the content without being distracted by spelling mistakes.
- How to improve: To maintain and further enhance spelling accuracy, consider implementing strategies such as proofreading, spell-checking tools, and vocabulary-building exercises. Regular practice and exposure to written texts can also reinforce correct spelling patterns and help internalize spelling rules. Additionally, remaining vigilant during the writing process and paying attention to commonly misspelled words can mitigate the risk of errors slipping through.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, compound sentences, and subordinate clauses. For example, the essay employs phrases like "although," "to elaborate," and "for instance," enhancing coherence and demonstrating the ability to vary sentence structures effectively.
- How to improve: To further enrich the essay’s expression, consider incorporating more advanced structures such as inversion, participial phrases, and conditional sentences. These additions can elevate the sophistication of your writing and create a more dynamic narrative.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay exhibits a strong command of grammar and punctuation, with few errors detracting from clarity or comprehension. The sentences are generally well-structured, and punctuation marks are used appropriately to guide the reader and enhance readability.
- How to improve: While the essay maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, there are a few instances where minor errors occur. For instance, "noticable" should be corrected to "noticeable," and "a" before "alternative" in the phrase "an alternative method" should be removed since "alternative" is a noun here. Proofreading meticulously to catch such errors before submission is recommended. Additionally, ensure consistency in verb tense usage throughout the essay to maintain coherence.

Overall, your essay effectively addresses the prompt, offering a balanced perspective on the role of teachers and other sources in student learning. By maintaining a diverse range of sentence structures and demonstrating strong grammatical accuracy, you have successfully conveyed your ideas with clarity and precision. Keep honing your writing skills by experimenting with advanced structures and paying close attention to grammatical details, and you’ll continue to excel in academic writing tasks like this one.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a perspective that students could acquire more knowledge from teachers than from other sources. Although I find this viewpoint reasonable for several reasons, I personally believe that students likely learn from both teachers and other sources.

Admittedly, several factors could lead people to this belief. One main reason is that face-to-face interactions facilitate students’ learning. Teachers can provide direct communication and identify students’ misunderstandings, correcting them promptly to ensure the quality and effectiveness of the learning process. Additionally, another notable reason is the personalized teaching methods that cater to different learners’ needs and interests. By closely observing students, tutors can design individualized curricula for each learner, helping them to achieve their full potential and address weaknesses they may encounter during the learning process.

However, I am of the opinion that learning from other sources should not be disregarded. One key reason for this belief is that learners can access vast amounts of educational materials from credible sources. For example, numerous websites from reputable universities and free online language tests offer excellent opportunities for self-directed learners to broaden their knowledge without the need for academic instructors. Additionally, up-to-date news serves as an alternative source of information, supplementing traditional educational curricula. For instance, timely updates on international affairs and scientific advancements provide learners with current information, allowing them to keep pace with the rapidly changing world.

In conclusion, there are valid reasons supporting the perspective that students learn more from teachers at schools and universities than from other sources. However, I personally believe that students benefit from learning from both teachers and other sources, and the importance of learning from alternative sources should not be overlooked.