Summarize and select

Looking from an overall,it is readily that South America accounts for the majority of production.Central America and Shipper which turn also take the best part of coffee consumption and profits.
What stands out is that the regions of Africa and South America lead the way in terms of countries consume coffee the, with 19% and 44% respectively. By contrast, Asia and Oceania are produced insignificant at 18% and 2%.
Turning next to the Central Americas, a sharp contrast can be seen between the Central America and Japan. Whereas Central America can boast 55% coffee consuming,Japan used just 7% of this type.
To commence with, moving on to parties receive profits through coffee. Especially, shipper take a dramatically portion of the profit margin at 55%. In contrast, explorer achieves the least profit with 7%.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Looking from an overall" -> "Taking an overall view"
Explanation: "Looking from an overall" is awkward and lacks clarity. "Taking an overall view" is a more concise and grammatically correct expression.
"it is readily that" -> "it is evident that"
Explanation: "it is readily that" is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity. "it is evident that" is a more appropriate phrase to convey the intended meaning.
"which turn also take" -> "which also take"
Explanation: "which turn also take" is grammatically incorrect. Removing "turn" makes the sentence grammatically sound.
"the best part of coffee consumption and profits" -> "a significant portion of coffee consumption and profits"
Explanation: "the best part of coffee consumption and profits" is informal and unclear. "a significant portion of coffee consumption and profits" is a clearer and more formal expression.
"regions of Africa and South America lead the way in terms of countries consume coffee the" -> "regions of Africa and South America lead in coffee consumption"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed. Simplifying to "regions of Africa and South America lead in coffee consumption" improves clarity and readability.
"are produced insignificant at" -> "contribute insignificantly to"
Explanation: "are produced insignificant at" is grammatically incorrect. "contribute insignificantly to" is a clearer and more precise phrase.
"Turning next to the Central Americas" -> "Moving on to Central America"
Explanation: "Turning next to the Central Americas" is awkward. "Moving on to Central America" is a more concise and grammatically correct transition.
"can be seen between the Central America" -> "can be seen between Central America"
Explanation: "the Central America" is grammatically incorrect. Removing "the" makes the phrase grammatically accurate.
"can boast 55% coffee consuming" -> "account for 55% of coffee consumption"
Explanation: "can boast 55% coffee consuming" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "account for 55% of coffee consumption" is a clearer and more precise phrase.
"used just 7% of this type" -> "consumed only 7% of it"
Explanation: "used just 7% of this type" is unclear. "consumed only 7% of it" is a more precise and grammatically correct alternative.
"To commence with" -> "To begin with"
Explanation: "To commence with" is overly formal. "To begin with" is a simpler and more commonly used phrase.
"parties receive profits through coffee" -> "parties profit from coffee"
Explanation: "parties receive profits through coffee" is wordy and awkward. "parties profit from coffee" is a clearer and more concise alternative.
"Especially, shipper take a dramatically portion of the profit margin" -> "In particular, exporters claim a significant portion of the profit margin"
Explanation: "Especially, shipper take a dramatically portion of the profit margin" contains grammatical errors and lacks clarity. "In particular, exporters claim a significant portion of the profit margin" is grammatically correct and more precise.
"explorer achieves the least profit" -> "importers achieve the lowest profit"
Explanation: "explorer achieves the least profit" is unclear and awkward. "importers achieve the lowest profit" is a clearer and more precise alternative.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

[
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:
The essay addresses the requirements of the task by summarizing and selecting information regarding coffee production, consumption, and profits across different regions. It presents an overview with information appropriately selected, such as highlighting the leading regions in coffee consumption (Africa and South America) and contrasting production and consumption statistics between different continents and countries. However, there are issues with clarity and accuracy, as the essay contains grammatical errors, incomplete sentences, and unclear expressions, which may hinder full understanding. Additionally, some details may be irrelevant or inappropriate, such as the mention of "Shipper" and "explorer," which could be confusing without further clarification.
How to improve:

Focus on improving grammatical accuracy and clarity of expression to enhance readability.
Ensure all statements are factually accurate and relevant to the topic without introducing confusing terms like "Shipper" and "explorer."
Provide more specific data and details to support the overview and key points presented in the essay.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4

Explanation: The essay attempts to present information about coffee production, consumption, and profits across various regions. However, the organization of ideas is quite unclear and lacks coherence. There is no clear progression in the essay, as it jumps between different regions without establishing a logical flow. Additionally, there are issues with cohesion, as the use of cohesive devices is basic and sometimes inaccurate. The essay lacks clear paragraphing, making it difficult to follow the structure.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on organizing the essay in a clear and logical manner. Each paragraph should address a specific aspect of the topic, such as production, consumption, and profits. Additionally, the writer should use cohesive devices more effectively to connect ideas within and between sentences. Clear paragraphing should be used to separate different points and improve readability. Finally, the writer should ensure that their use of language is accurate and precise to avoid confusion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation. The writer attempts to convey ideas but faces difficulty due to noticeable errors and lack of precision in vocabulary usage. For instance, there are misspellings ("shipper" instead of "shippers"), inappropriate word choices ("parties" instead of "entities"), and awkward phrasing ("turn also take" instead of "also take" or "in contrast" instead of "on the other hand"). Additionally, there are issues with coherence and clarity in some sentences, which further hinder effective communication.

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range and ensuring accurate word usage, spelling, and word formation. They could achieve this by actively learning new vocabulary and phrases relevant to the topic of coffee production and consumption. Additionally, proofreading and revising their writing can help identify and correct errors in spelling and word choice. Practicing writing tasks under timed conditions can also enhance fluency and precision in vocabulary usage.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of structures with several errors in grammar and punctuation. There is an attempt to use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but the errors predominate, causing some difficulty for the reader.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on enhancing sentence structures and ensuring correct usage of grammar and punctuation. Practice constructing complex sentences accurately, and revise the essay thoroughly to correct errors. Additionally, pay attention to coherence and clarity in expression to enhance overall communication.

Bài sửa mẫu

Overall, South America emerges as the primary contributor to coffee production, while Central America and Shipper also play significant roles in both consumption and profits. Notably, Africa and South America lead in coffee consumption among regions, with figures of 19% and 44% respectively. In contrast, Asia and Oceania contribute minimally, at 18% and 2% respectively.

Examining Central America, a stark disparity is evident when compared to Japan. Central America accounts for 55% of coffee consumption, whereas Japan consumes only 7%.

Regarding profit distribution, shippers claim the largest share at 55%, while explorers receive the least, at 7%.