Talk about the solutions to environmental problems in Vietnam

Recently, our environment is becoming increasingly worse. Environmental problems such as Air Pollution or Deforestation bring a lot of negative effects, so we need solutions to overcome them. About Air Pollution, we should use electric vehicles or public transport instead of private transport to limit the emissions to the environment. Also, we can stop burning leaves, rubbish and other materials. This will reduce the smoke produced in the air. Another measure is planting more trees. It helps purify the atmosphere, decreasing the amount of CO2. Deforestation is also a serious issue. To solve this problem, we should recycle paper, plastics and other products made of wood, helping reduce the wood consumption. Introducing strict laws to prevent the cutting of natural forests is also a nice remedy. Illegal loggers will be able to fear and not dare to steal wood. In summary, everyone needs to be responsible for coming up with solutions to protect our environment.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Recently, our environment is becoming increasingly worse." -> "Lately, our environment has been deteriorating."
Explanation: "Recently" is more commonly used in informal contexts; "Lately" maintains a formal tone while expressing the same timeframe. "Becoming increasingly worse" can be simplified to "deteriorating" for conciseness and formality.
"Environmental problems such as Air Pollution or Deforestation bring a lot of negative effects, so we need solutions to overcome them." -> "Environmental issues such as air pollution and deforestation have significant adverse effects, necessitating solutions for mitigation."
Explanation: "Bring a lot of negative effects" can be replaced with "have significant adverse effects" for a more precise and formal expression. "Overcome them" can be changed to "mitigation" for a more academic and specific term.
"About Air Pollution, we should use electric vehicles or public transport instead of private transport to limit the emissions to the environment." -> "Regarding air pollution, utilizing electric vehicles or public transportation instead of private cars can help mitigate emissions into the environment."
Explanation: "About Air Pollution" can be replaced with "Regarding air pollution" for a smoother transition into the topic. "Limit the emissions to the environment" can be improved to "mitigate emissions into the environment" for clarity and formality.
"Another measure is planting more trees." -> "Another effective measure involves afforestation."
Explanation: "Planting more trees" is made more formal and concise by using "afforestation," which specifically refers to the process of establishing a forest where there wasn’t one previously.
"Deforestation is also a serious issue." -> "Deforestation constitutes a significant environmental concern."
Explanation: "Serious issue" is replaced with "significant environmental concern" for a more precise and formal expression.
"To solve this problem, we should recycle paper, plastics and other products made of wood, helping reduce the wood consumption." -> "Addressing this issue involves recycling paper, plastics, and wood-based products to mitigate wood consumption."
Explanation: "To solve this problem" is replaced with "Addressing this issue involves" for a more formal and precise statement. "Helping reduce" is replaced with "to mitigate" for a stronger and clearer impact.
"Introducing strict laws to prevent the cutting of natural forests is also a nice remedy." -> "Implementing stringent regulations to prohibit deforestation is a crucial step."
Explanation: "Nice remedy" is replaced with "crucial step" for a more formal and impactful expression.
"Illegal loggers will be able to fear and not dare to steal wood." -> "Illegal loggers will be deterred from engaging in wood theft."
Explanation: "Will be able to fear and not dare to" can be replaced with "will be deterred from engaging in" for a more formal and precise statement.

These changes enhance the essay’s formality and clarity while maintaining natural language flow.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:

Detailed explanation: The essay successfully addresses the general theme of solutions to environmental problems in Vietnam, focusing on two main issues: air pollution and deforestation. Each issue is paired with several proposed solutions. However, the response could further benefit from addressing a broader range of environmental problems as suggested by the prompt or by more explicitly tying the discussion to the context of Vietnam.
How to improve: To more comprehensively address all elements of the question, the essay should explore additional environmental challenges specific to Vietnam. These might include water pollution, waste management, or energy issues. Moreover, including statistical data or examples specific to Vietnam would strengthen the relevance and depth of the response.

Present a Clear Position Throughout:

Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position by acknowledging the severity of environmental issues and advocating for specific solutions. The introduction and conclusion effectively bookend the essay with a general call for action. However, the position could be strengthened by a more detailed discussion of why these solutions are appropriate for Vietnam, including potential challenges and benefits.
How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position throughout the essay, the writer could include a brief thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the main arguments to be discussed. Each paragraph should then start with a clear topic sentence that links back to this thesis, ensuring that the position remains focused and assertive.

Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

Detailed explanation: The essay presents basic ideas for solving air pollution and deforestation but lacks depth in extending and supporting these ideas. While solutions like using electric vehicles and planting more trees are mentioned, there is minimal elaboration on how these solutions can be implemented effectively in Vietnam or how they address the root causes of the problems.
How to improve: To effectively present, elaborate, and substantiate ideas, the writer should include more detailed explanations, examples, or data. For instance, discussing government incentives for electric vehicle use, or community-led tree planting initiatives could provide practical examples of how these solutions might work in practice. Additionally, linking each solution to specific outcomes or studies could help in substantiating the claims.

Stay on Topic:

Detailed explanation: The essay stays broadly on topic by discussing solutions to environmental problems. However, it occasionally strays into generalities rather than focusing exclusively on the context of Vietnam. The solutions proposed are somewhat universal and not specifically tailored to the unique environmental landscape of Vietnam.
How to improve: The essay could improve its focus by integrating more Vietnam-specific content. This includes citing local studies, laws, or statistics that reflect the current state of environmental issues in Vietnam. Additionally, discussing solutions that have been tried in Vietnam, whether successful or not, would add depth and relevance to the essay.

Overall, the essay performs well in addressing the task but falls short in depth and specificity. Expanding on ideas with more detailed analysis and examples, particularly those relevant to the Vietnamese context, would likely enhance the overall effectiveness and coherence of the response. Additionally, adhering to a structured approach with clear thesis statements and topic sentences would help in maintaining a focused and persuasive argument throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear attempt to organize information logically. It starts by introducing the environmental problems of air pollution and deforestation, followed by specific solutions for each problem. This sequential approach aids in comprehension and coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization further, consider adding transitional phrases between ideas. For instance, phrases like "Furthermore" or "In addition to that" can help signal the progression of thought and improve the flow between paragraphs.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs to separate distinct ideas. Each paragraph focuses on either air pollution or deforestation, maintaining coherence within each section. However, the conclusion could be a separate paragraph to clearly signal the end of the essay.
- How to improve: Consider refining the structure within paragraphs to ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details. For instance, in the paragraph discussing air pollution solutions, each solution could be elaborated upon in separate sentences, enhancing clarity and coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between sentences, such as "About," "Also," and "Another measure." These devices aid in coherence by indicating relationships between ideas and facilitating smooth transitions.
- How to improve: To further enrich cohesion, incorporate a wider variety of cohesive devices such as pronouns ("this," "these"), conjunctions ("however," "therefore"), and transitional adverbs ("consequently," "subsequently"). This will add nuance and sophistication to the essay’s structure.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and maintains coherence and cohesion throughout, there is room for improvement in refining paragraph structure and diversifying the range of cohesive devices used. Implementing these suggestions will elevate the essay’s clarity and coherence, potentially leading to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary related to environmental issues and solutions. It effectively employs terms like "Air Pollution," "Deforestation," "emissions," "purify," "CO2," "recycle," "strict laws," and "illegal loggers." However, there is room for enhancement in diversifying the vocabulary further. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "environmental problems" and "solutions," the author could incorporate synonyms or more specific terms to enrich the lexical variety.
- How to improve: To expand the range of vocabulary, the author can integrate synonyms, related terms, or specialized vocabulary pertaining to environmental science and conservation. Synonyms like "environmental challenges" or "ecological issues" could replace repetitive phrases. Furthermore, introducing technical terminology such as "carbon footprint" or "sustainable practices" would demonstrate a deeper understanding of environmental concepts.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs vocabulary with a reasonable degree of precision. For instance, terms like "Air Pollution," "Deforestation," and "emissions" are used accurately to describe specific environmental concerns. However, some instances could benefit from more precise word choices. For example, instead of using "nice remedy" to describe the introduction of strict laws, a more precise phrase like "effective solution" or "vital measure" would strengthen the expression.
- How to improve: To enhance precision in vocabulary usage, the author should aim for more specific and nuanced terms where appropriate. Consulting a thesaurus or utilizing domain-specific vocabulary related to environmental science and policy can aid in selecting more precise language. Additionally, considering the connotations and subtleties of words can contribute to clearer and more impactful communication.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits acceptable spelling accuracy with only minor errors. Examples include "Deforestation" and "emissions," which are spelled correctly. However, there are some spelling inaccuracies present, such as "instead of private transport to limit the emissions to the environment," where "to" should be replaced with "into" for grammatical correctness.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the author should proofread the essay carefully, paying close attention to common spelling errors and grammatical conventions. Utilizing spell-check tools or seeking feedback from peers can also help in identifying and correcting spelling mistakes. Additionally, dedicating time to practice spelling through exercises or vocabulary drills can further enhance accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a moderate range of sentence structures. Simple and compound sentences dominate the essay, with occasional complex structures such as "To solve this problem, we should recycle paper, plastics and other products made of wood." While these structures are effective in conveying ideas, more variety, including compound-complex sentences or use of subordinate clauses, could enhance the essay’s sophistication and coherence.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical range and coherence, consider incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures. Introduce complex sentences with subordinate clauses to provide deeper explanations and connections between ideas. For instance, instead of "Deforestation is also a serious issue," you could write, "In addition to air pollution, deforestation poses a significant threat to our environment, necessitating urgent attention and multifaceted solutions."
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally accurate grammar and punctuation usage. However, there are some instances of errors, such as missing articles ("About Air Pollution") and subject-verb agreement ("Illegal loggers will be able to fear and not dare to steal wood"). Additionally, there are areas where punctuation could be improved for clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay closer attention to articles and subject-verb agreement. For example, revise "About Air Pollution" to "Regarding air pollution" for grammatical correctness. Moreover, ensure consistency in punctuation usage throughout the essay. Consider revising the sentence "Illegal loggers will be able to fear and not dare to steal wood" for clarity and accuracy, perhaps by rephrasing it as "Introducing strict laws to prevent the cutting of natural forests would instill fear in illegal loggers, dissuading them from further acts of deforestation." Additionally, proofread for punctuation errors such as missing commas or incorrect placement of periods to improve the overall coherence of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

Recently, our environment has been deteriorating. Environmental issues such as air pollution and deforestation have significant adverse effects, necessitating solutions for mitigation. Regarding air pollution, utilizing electric vehicles or public transportation instead of private cars can help mitigate emissions into the environment. Another effective measure involves afforestation. Deforestation constitutes a significant environmental concern. Addressing this issue involves recycling paper, plastics, and wood-based products to mitigate wood consumption. Implementing stringent regulations to prohibit deforestation is a crucial step. Illegal loggers will be deterred from engaging in wood theft. In summary, everyone needs to be responsible for coming up with solutions to protect our environment.