Talk about your health and exercise habits
Talk about your health and exercise habits
Hello everyone, My name is Nguyen Thị Diem My. I’m currently a student at Tra Vinh University. My major is English Language. Today, I would like to talk about my health and exercise habits.
You know, taking care of your health and fitness is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. I’ve been thinking a lot about health and fitness lately, and I want to share a bit about my exercise habits and how they impact my overall well-being.
But first, some background.
3 years ago, I was a 28-year-old office worker. With a busy job, often having to work overtime and sitting at the computer, I often had no time for myself. Fast food, snacks, sitting and just sitting at the office and lying on the bed on weekends. That was all I had. And one day, I felt exhausted because of the dull back pain, creaking bones and joints, shortness of breath and difficulty breathing. That was when I suddenly realized that I needed to change to improve my current health condition. I rearranged my personal schedule, went to bed early and woke up early, and importantly, I started exercising, which seemed quite difficult for people who like to sleep like me. However, with perseverance, I have maintained my exercise until now and my health has improved a lot.
To maintain good health, I prioritize regular exercise and a balanced diet. I engage in various physical activities such as jogging, cycling, and yoga to stay active. Drinking plenty of water and getting enough sleep are also important aspects of my health routine.
Every morning, I start my day with a refreshing jog around the neighborhood. Not only does this get my heart pumping, but it also clears my mind and energizes me for the day ahead.
I try to exercise at least 4-5 times a week, mixing up cardio, strength training, and yoga. My cardio of choice is running.
In addition to exercising 30 minutes every morning, every weekend I often play my favorite sport, basketball. My favorite sport is basketball. I enjoy the fast-paced nature of the game and the teamwork involved. It's exhilarating to dribble the ball, make accurate passes, and score baskets. Playing basketball not only helps me stay active and improve my physical fitness but also enhances my coordination and agility.
I play basketball with my colleagues. As a team sport, basketball not only helps us improve our health but also helps us bond more, learn many life skills such as coordination skills, team spirit. For me, playing basketball is not only a method of physical training but also a form of entertainment that helps us relax our minds after stressful working hours at the office. Sometimes I also go online to learn basic yoga poses and follow them. But for me, practicing outdoors seems more interesting because I like to breathe the air when I go outside. Therefore, jogging and basketball are the two things I like the most.
after 3 years of giving up staying up late and waking up late to exercise and combine with reasonable diets. i feel like i am 3 years younger and no longer feel back pain and fatigue like before. and i will continue to maintain these habits.
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle takes commitment, but the benefits are truly remarkable. I feel stronger, more energized, and happier than ever. I know it can be tough to make fitness a priority, but trust me, it’s so worth it. Even just 30 minutes a day can make a huge impact. Why not give it a try? Your body and mind will thank you.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"Hello everyone, My name is Nguyen Thị Diem My." -> "Hello everyone, my name is Nguyen Thi Diem My."
Explanation: Capitalization and punctuation are corrected for proper formality and clarity in academic writing. -
"I’m currently a student at Tra Vinh University." -> "I am currently a student at Tra Vinh University."
Explanation: Replacing the contraction "I’m" with the full form "I am" aligns with formal academic style. -
"My major is English Language." -> "My major is English language."
Explanation: The word "language" should be lowercase as it is a common noun in this context. -
"You know, taking care of your health and fitness is one of the most important things you can do for yourself." -> "It is well-established that maintaining one’s health and fitness is crucial for overall well-being."
Explanation: The phrase "You know" is informal and vague; replacing it with "It is well-established" enhances the formality and specificity of the statement. -
"I’ve been thinking a lot about health and fitness lately" -> "I have been giving considerable thought to health and fitness recently"
Explanation: "I’ve" is a contraction; "I have been giving considerable thought to" is more formal and precise. -
"I want to share a bit about my exercise habits and how they impact my overall well-being." -> "I intend to discuss my exercise habits and their impact on my overall well-being."
Explanation: "I want to share a bit" is informal; "I intend to discuss" is more formal and precise. -
"3 years ago, I was a 28-year-old office worker." -> "Three years ago, I was a 28-year-old office worker."
Explanation: "3" should be spelled out as "Three" for formal writing. -
"often having to work overtime and sitting at the computer, I often had no time for myself." -> "often required to work overtime and sit at the computer, I frequently had no time for myself."
Explanation: "often having to" is redundant; "required to" is more concise and formal. "sit" should be "sitting" for consistency in verb tense. -
"Fast food, snacks, sitting and just sitting at the office and lying on the bed on weekends." -> "I consumed fast food and snacks, spent excessive time sitting at the office, and often lay in bed on weekends."
Explanation: The original phrase is vague and informal; the revision clarifies and formalizes the activities. -
"That was when I suddenly realized that I needed to change to improve my current health condition." -> "It was then that I realized the necessity of altering my lifestyle to improve my health."
Explanation: "That was when" is informal; "It was then that" is more formal. "Needed to change" is vague; "the necessity of altering" is more precise. -
"I rearranged my personal schedule, went to bed early and woke up early, and importantly, I started exercising, which seemed quite difficult for people who like to sleep like me." -> "I revised my personal schedule, adopted an earlier bedtime and wake-up time, and importantly, began exercising, which initially proved challenging for someone like myself who prefers sleeping."
Explanation: "Rearranged" and "went to bed early and woke up early" are informal; "revised" and "adopted an earlier bedtime and wake-up time" are more formal. "Started exercising" is vague; "began exercising" is more specific. "Quite difficult" is informal; "initially proved challenging" is more precise. -
"However, with perseverance, I have maintained my exercise until now and my health has improved a lot." -> "However, through persistence, I have consistently maintained my exercise routine, resulting in significant improvements in my health."
Explanation: "However, with perseverance" is informal; "However, through persistence" is more formal. "Maintained my exercise until now" is awkward; "consistently maintained my exercise routine" is clearer and more formal. "Improved a lot" is vague; "resulting in significant improvements" is more precise. -
"I prioritize regular exercise and a balanced diet." -> "I prioritize regular exercise and a balanced diet."
Explanation: The original sentence is incomplete; the revised version completes the thought. -
"I engage in various physical activities such as jogging, cycling, and yoga to stay active." -> "I engage in various physical activities, including jogging, cycling, and yoga, to maintain my physical activity level."
Explanation: "To stay active" is informal; "to maintain my physical activity level" is more precise and formal. -
"Drinking plenty of water and getting enough sleep are also important aspects of my health routine." -> "Drinking sufficient water and obtaining adequate sleep are also crucial components of my health routine."
Explanation: "Plenty of water" and "getting enough sleep" are informal; "sufficient water" and "obtaining adequate sleep" are more precise and formal. -
"I try to exercise at least 4-5 times a week, mixing up cardio, strength training, and yoga." -> "I aim to exercise at least four to five times a week, incorporating a mix of cardio, strength training, and yoga."
Explanation: "Try to" is informal; "aim to" is more formal. "Mixing up" is informal; "incorporating a mix" is more precise. -
"My cardio of choice is running." -> "My preferred cardio activity is running."
Explanation: "My cardio of choice" is informal; "My preferred cardio activity" is more formal and specific. -
"In addition to exercising 30 minutes every morning, every weekend I often play my favorite sport, basketball." -> "In addition to exercising for 30 minutes each morning, I frequently engage in my favorite sport, basketball, on weekends."
Explanation: "Every weekend I often play" is redundant and informal; "I frequently engage in" is more concise and formal. -
"My favorite sport is basketball." -> "My preferred sport is basketball."
Explanation: "My favorite" is informal; "My preferred" is more formal. -
"Playing basketball not only helps me stay active and improve my physical fitness but also enhances my coordination and agility." -> "Playing basketball not only enhances my physical fitness but also improves my coordination and agility."
Explanation: The original sentence is redundant; the revised version removes redundancy and maintains formality. -
"For me, playing basketball is not only a method of physical training but also a form of entertainment that helps us relax our minds after stressful working hours at the office." -> "For me, playing basketball serves not only as a form of physical training but also as a means of relaxation after stressful working hours at the office."
Explanation: "A method of physical training" is informal; "a form of physical training" is more precise. "Helps us relax our minds" is informal; "serves as a means of relaxation" is more formal. -
"Sometimes I also go online to learn basic yoga poses and follow them." -> "Occasionally, I also access online resources to learn basic yoga poses and practice them."
Explanation: "Sometimes" is informal; "Occasionally" is more formal. "Go online" is informal; "access online resources" is more precise. -
"But for me, practicing outdoors seems more interesting because I like to breathe the air when I go outside." -> "However, I find practicing outdoors more appealing as I prefer the fresh air when exercising outdoors."
Explanation: "Seems more interesting" is informal; "find more appealing" is more formal. "Breathe the air" is informal; "prefer the fresh air" is more precise and formal. -
"after 3 years of giving up staying up late and waking up late to exercise and combine with reasonable diets." -> "after three years of adopting a consistent sleep schedule and combining regular exercise with a balanced diet."
Explanation: "Giving up staying up late and waking up late" is awkward and informal; "adopting a consistent sleep schedule" is clearer and more formal. "Combine with reasonable diets" is vague; "combining regular exercise with a balanced diet" is specific and formal. -
"i feel like i am 3 years younger and no longer feel back pain and fatigue like before." -> "I feel as if I am three years younger and no longer experience back pain and fatigue as I did previously."
Explanation: "I feel like" is informal; "I feel as if" is more formal. "No longer feel" is informal; "no longer experience" is more precise.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 9
Band Score for Task Response: 9
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the author’s health and exercise habits in detail. The introduction sets the stage for the discussion, and the narrative provides a personal account of the author’s journey from a sedentary lifestyle to an active one. Specific activities such as jogging, cycling, yoga, and basketball are mentioned, illustrating a comprehensive approach to fitness. The author also reflects on the impact of these habits on their overall well-being, fulfilling the requirement to discuss both health and exercise.
- How to improve: While the essay is strong in addressing the prompt, it could benefit from a more structured approach. For instance, the author could explicitly outline the main points in the introduction, which would help guide the reader through the essay more clearly. Additionally, including more quantitative data (e.g., frequency and duration of activities) could enhance the depth of the response.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The author maintains a clear position throughout the essay, advocating for the importance of health and exercise. This is evident in the consistent emphasis on the benefits of an active lifestyle and the personal transformation experienced. The use of first-person narrative adds authenticity and engages the reader, making the position relatable and persuasive.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, the author could incorporate transitional phrases that reinforce the main argument. For example, summarizing the benefits of each exercise type before moving to the next could help maintain focus and coherence.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a variety of ideas related to health and exercise, such as the importance of a balanced diet, the benefits of different physical activities, and the social aspects of playing basketball. Each idea is supported with personal anecdotes, which enrich the narrative and provide evidence of the author’s claims. The discussion about the mental and physical benefits of exercise is particularly effective in extending the ideas presented.
- How to improve: To enhance the support for ideas, the author could include more specific examples or statistics related to health benefits. For instance, mentioning studies that link regular exercise to improved mental health could add credibility to the claims made.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of health and exercise habits throughout. The author does not deviate from the main subject, ensuring that all information presented is relevant to the prompt. The narrative flows logically from past experiences to current habits, maintaining a consistent theme.
- How to improve: While the essay is well-focused, the author could improve clarity by organizing the content into distinct sections (e.g., past habits, current habits, benefits). This would make it easier for readers to follow the progression of ideas and reinforce the overall coherence of the essay.
Overall, this essay demonstrates a high level of proficiency in addressing the Task Response criteria for IELTS, with only minor suggestions for improvement to enhance clarity and depth.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical progression of ideas, starting with an introduction that establishes the topic and the writer’s background. The narrative flows smoothly from the past (the writer’s previous unhealthy habits) to the present (current exercise and health routines). For instance, the transition from discussing past habits to current practices is well-executed, allowing the reader to understand the transformation. However, some sections could benefit from clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through the main ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer could use more explicit topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the main idea. For example, starting the paragraph about the benefits of jogging with a sentence like, "Jogging is a crucial part of my daily routine, providing both physical and mental benefits," would clarify the focus of that section.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, such as the writer’s past habits, current exercise routines, and reflections on the benefits of a healthy lifestyle. However, there are instances where the paragraphing could be improved. For example, the paragraph discussing basketball could be split into two: one focusing on the sport itself and another on the social benefits of playing with colleagues. This would enhance readability and allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, the writer should ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea and supporting details. Breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones can help maintain the reader’s interest and make the essay easier to follow. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next will further enhance coherence.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and transitional phrases, which help to connect ideas. Phrases like "In addition to" and "Not only… but also" effectively link thoughts and enhance the flow of the narrative. However, there are moments where the use of cohesive devices feels repetitive, particularly in the transitions between activities and benefits.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, using alternatives like "Furthermore," "Moreover," or "On the other hand" could add variety and depth to the transitions. Additionally, varying sentence structures can help maintain the reader’s engagement and improve the overall cohesiveness of the essay.
Overall, the essay is well-structured and coherent, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic. By focusing on improving paragraphing, enhancing logical organization, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can elevate their writing to an even higher level.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to health and exercise. Phrases such as "taking care of your health," "balanced diet," and "physical activities" indicate an understanding of relevant terminology. However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat repetitive, especially with phrases like "exercise" and "health," which appear frequently without much variation. For example, the phrase "I enjoy the fast-paced nature of the game" could be enhanced with synonyms or more descriptive language to add depth.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions. Instead of repeatedly using "exercise," alternatives like "physical activity," "workout," or "fitness routine" could be employed. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives (e.g., "vigorous jogging" instead of just "jogging") would enrich the text.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of precise vocabulary, such as "exhilarating" and "team spirit," which effectively convey the writer’s feelings and experiences. However, there are moments of imprecision, such as "shortness of breath and difficulty breathing," where the redundancy could be avoided by simply stating "shortness of breath." This could confuse readers as both phrases refer to similar issues.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should aim to eliminate redundancy and choose words that convey the intended meaning more succinctly. For example, instead of saying "I often had no time for myself," the writer could specify, "I struggled to find time for personal well-being." This would clarify the message and enhance the overall quality of the writing.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "after" (should be capitalized at the beginning of a sentence) and "i" (which should be "I"). These errors detract from the professionalism of the writing and can confuse readers. Additionally, the phrase "creaking bones and joints" could be misinterpreted due to its informal tone.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing tools like spell checkers or grammar-checking software can also help identify and correct errors. Moreover, reading the essay aloud can help catch mistakes that might be overlooked during silent reading.
By addressing these areas of improvement, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future IELTS assessments.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of compound sentences such as "I try to exercise at least 4-5 times a week, mixing up cardio, strength training, and yoga" showcases the ability to connect ideas effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the description of exercise habits, where similar sentence beginnings are used (e.g., "I enjoy," "I try to," "I play"). This limits the overall variety and can make the writing feel monotonous.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider using more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of repeatedly starting with "I," try beginning sentences with adverbial phrases (e.g., "To stay active, I engage in various physical activities…") or using participial phrases (e.g., "Having recognized the importance of fitness, I started jogging regularly."). Additionally, incorporating more complex sentences with subordinate clauses can enhance the depth of the writing.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with most sentences correctly structured. However, there are notable errors, particularly with capitalization and punctuation. For example, the sentence "after 3 years of giving up staying up late and waking up late to exercise and combine with reasonable diets." lacks capitalization at the beginning and is a fragment rather than a complete sentence. Additionally, there are instances of run-on sentences, such as "For me, playing basketball is not only a method of physical training but also a form of entertainment that helps us relax our minds after stressful working hours at the office," which could benefit from clearer punctuation to separate ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is crucial to proofread the essay for capitalization and punctuation errors. Ensure that every sentence begins with a capital letter and that periods are used to separate complete thoughts. Additionally, consider breaking longer sentences into shorter, clearer ones to avoid run-ons. For example, the aforementioned run-on could be revised to: "For me, playing basketball serves as both a method of physical training and a form of entertainment. It helps us relax our minds after stressful working hours at the office." Regular practice with grammar exercises and reviewing punctuation rules can also aid in improving overall accuracy.
By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of grammatical range and accuracy, potentially leading to a higher band score in future assessments.
Bài sửa mẫu
Hello everyone, my name is Nguyen Thi Diem My. I am currently a student at Tra Vinh University, majoring in English Language. Today, I would like to discuss my health and exercise habits.
It is well-established that taking care of your health and fitness is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. I have been giving considerable thought to health and fitness lately, and I want to share a bit about my exercise habits and how they impact my overall well-being.
To provide some background, three years ago, I was a 28-year-old office worker. With a busy job that often required me to work overtime and sit at the computer, I frequently had no time for myself. My diet consisted mainly of fast food and snacks, and I spent excessive time sitting at the office, often lying in bed on weekends. One day, I felt exhausted, suffering from dull back pain, creaking bones and joints, shortness of breath, and difficulty breathing. It was then that I realized the necessity of altering my lifestyle to improve my health. I revised my personal schedule, adopted an earlier bedtime and wake-up time, and importantly, began exercising, which initially proved challenging for someone like myself who prefers sleeping. However, through persistence, I have consistently maintained my exercise routine, resulting in significant improvements in my health.
To maintain good health, I prioritize regular exercise and a balanced diet. I engage in various physical activities, including jogging, cycling, and yoga, to stay active. Drinking sufficient water and obtaining adequate sleep are also crucial components of my health routine.
Every morning, I start my day with a refreshing jog around the neighborhood. Not only does this get my heart pumping, but it also clears my mind and energizes me for the day ahead. I aim to exercise at least four to five times a week, incorporating a mix of cardio, strength training, and yoga. My preferred cardio activity is running.
In addition to exercising for 30 minutes each morning, I frequently engage in my favorite sport, basketball, on weekends. I enjoy the fast-paced nature of the game and the teamwork involved. It’s exhilarating to dribble the ball, make accurate passes, and score baskets. Playing basketball not only enhances my physical fitness but also improves my coordination and agility.
I play basketball with my colleagues. As a team sport, basketball not only helps us improve our health but also fosters stronger bonds and teaches valuable life skills such as coordination and teamwork. For me, playing basketball serves not only as a form of physical training but also as a means of relaxation after stressful working hours at the office. Occasionally, I also access online resources to learn basic yoga poses and practice them. However, I find practicing outdoors more appealing, as I prefer the fresh air when exercising outside. Therefore, jogging and basketball are the two activities I enjoy the most.
After three years of adopting a consistent sleep schedule and combining regular exercise with a balanced diet, I feel as if I am three years younger. I no longer experience the back pain and fatigue that I did previously, and I intend to continue maintaining these habits.
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle takes commitment, but the benefits are truly remarkable. I feel stronger, more energized, and happier than ever. I know it can be tough to make fitness a priority, but trust me, it is well worth it. Even just 30 minutes a day can make a huge impact. Why not give it a try? Your body and mind will thank you.