Task 1: The chart below shows the percentage of a drug company’s total sales, by region, from 2002 to 2006.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The provided graph illustrates the sales performance of a pharmaceutical company across Asia, Europe, and America from 2002 to 2006.
Overall, the data reveals significant disparities in sales trends among the three continents. While Asia demonstrates a consistent upward trajectory throughout the entire period, sales in Europe and America experience fluctuations.
Initially, America emerges as the leading market, contributing 41% of the company's total sales in 2002, compared to Asia's 25%. However, this trend shifts in subsequent years as Asia surpasses America in 2005.
In America, sales fluctuate notably, declining to 27% by 2007 before a modest recovery to 30% by 2009. Conversely, Asian sales steadily rise, reaching 40% by the end of the period.
Meanwhile, European sales remain relatively stable, fluctuating within a narrow range of 34% to 38% throughout the observed years.
In conclusion, the graph highlights the dynamic nature of sales trends across continents, with Asia emerging as the dominant market by 2005, while Europe and America experience fluctuating sales figures.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"illustrates" -> "depicts"
Explanation: While "illustrates" is technically correct, "depicts" is often preferred in academic and formal contexts as it conveys a direct visual representation, enhancing the description of graphical data.
"significant disparities" -> "marked variances"
Explanation: "Marked variances" conveys a stronger degree of variation and specificity, which better emphasizes the differences in data patterns observed across the continents.
"sales trends" -> "sales trajectories"
Explanation: "Trajectories" offers a more precise description in a data-driven context, implying a directional and dynamic movement which is more fitting when discussing statistical changes over time.
"consistent upward trajectory" -> "steady upward trajectory"
Explanation: The adjective "steady" more accurately captures the uninterrupted and uniform nature of the increase in sales, enhancing the description of the data.
"fluctuations" -> "volatility"
Explanation: "Volatility" is a more advanced term that specifically describes rapid and significant changes, adding a layer of sophistication and precision when discussing economic data like sales figures.
"emerges as" -> "positions itself as"
Explanation: "Positions itself as" suggests a more active role of the subject within the market, providing a more dynamic description of the market changes.
"modest recovery" -> "slight rebound"
Explanation: "Slight rebound" better captures the notion of a recovery that is not only small but also suggests a return to a previous position, which is more specific in the context of sales data.
"remain relatively stable" -> "demonstrate relative stability"
Explanation: "Demonstrate relative stability" changes the phrase into an active form, giving the subject agency and enhancing the analytical tone of the essay.
"fluctuating within a narrow range" -> "oscillating within a confined range"
Explanation: "Oscillating" suggests a more precise, technical movement within a set boundary, and "confined" enhances the notion of a limited scope, both of which are preferable in a formal analytical context.
"highlights the dynamic nature" -> "underscores the dynamic nature"
Explanation: "Underscores" is a stronger verb than "highlights," suggesting a more deliberate emphasis on the importance of the observed trends, thus improving the analytical tone of the conclusion.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay effectively covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features of the sales performance of a pharmaceutical company across Asia, Europe, and America from 2002 to 2006. It presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences, and stages in sales across the three continents. The key features, such as the initial dominance of America in sales, the subsequent rise of Asia as the leading market, and the fluctuating sales in Europe and America, are clearly highlighted and appropriately illustrated.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could extend the presentation of key features slightly further, providing more detail on the fluctuations in sales in Europe and America and perhaps offering some insights into the potential factors driving these trends. Additionally, ensuring precise data referencing (e.g., referencing 2006 instead of 2007) would enhance clarity and accuracy. Overall, maintaining this level of clarity and expanding on key points would strengthen the response.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, with clear progression throughout. It effectively uses a range of cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs. Each paragraph presents a clear central topic, aiding in coherence and cohesion.

How to improve: To further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider varying sentence structures to add depth and clarity to the analysis. Additionally, ensure that referencing and substitution are used consistently and appropriately throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow flexibility and precision in conveying the information. It effectively uses less common lexical items and demonstrates an awareness of style and collocation. There are occasional errors in word choice, but they do not significantly impede understanding. For instance, "modest recovery" and "relatively stable" showcase nuanced vocabulary usage. However, there are some minor inaccuracies and repetitions, such as the repetitive use of "fluctuate" in describing European sales.

How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, aim for more varied vocabulary choices and avoid repetition. Additionally, strive for more precise and accurate word choices throughout the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay effectively uses a variety of complex structures to convey information about the sales performance of a pharmaceutical company across different regions. The essay demonstrates a good control of grammar and punctuation, with frequent error-free sentences. Complex sentences are employed to describe trends and comparisons, contributing to the coherence of the essay.

How to improve: To further enhance grammatical accuracy, ensure consistency in verb tenses throughout the essay. Additionally, pay attention to subject-verb agreement to avoid any minor errors that might occur. Keep practicing writing complex sentences to maintain fluency and accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided graph delineates the sales performance of a pharmaceutical company across Asia, Europe, and America from 2002 to 2006.

Overall, the data reveals significant disparities in sales trends among the three continents. While Asia demonstrates a consistent upward trajectory throughout the entire period, sales in Europe and America experience fluctuations.

Initially, America emerges as the leading market, contributing 41% of the company’s total sales in 2002, compared to Asia’s 25%. However, this trend shifts in subsequent years as Asia surpasses America in 2005.

In America, sales fluctuate notably, declining to 27% by 2007 before a modest recovery to 30% by 2009. Conversely, Asian sales steadily rise, reaching 40% by the end of the period.

Meanwhile, European sales remain relatively stable, fluctuating within a narrow range of 34% to 38% throughout the observed years.

The graph highlights the dynamic nature of sales trends across continents, with Asia emerging as the dominant market by 2005, while Europe and America experience fluctuating sales figures.