Task 1: The chart shows the proportion of people in a UK survey carried out in three different years who said they were interested in certain sportsKlh

Task 1: The chart shows the proportion of people in a UK survey carried out in three
different years who said they were interested in certain sportsKlh

The diagram illustrates the percentage of British people who were interested in particular sports from 1995 to 2005.

Overall, the highest average percentage belonged to football and the lowest one was golf. Meanwhile, four other sports, which are swimming, rugby, snooker, tennis, accounted for from 20% to 30% each of them.

Regarding the bar chart, football, which is also known as the ‘king of sports’, has the biggest percentage in three years with little higher than 40% in 1995, increased slightly in 2000 and nearly 45% in 2005. On the other hand, the sport that has the smallest proportion is golf which began with roughly 15% in 1995, little decreased 5 years later and ended with a number smaller than 15% in 2005.

As can be seen in the picture, the
Pproportions of four other sports were in the middle of football and golf which is from 20% to 40%. Furthermore, snooker and tennis began with two higher numbers than rugby and swimming, with corresponding 30% and lower than 30%. In contrast, while the proportions of rugby and swimming jumped to nearly equal the percentage in previous years of tennis, snooker and tennis dropped to lower than 15% in the next 5-year period. In the last year of the survey, swimming and rugby decreased to approximately 15%, whereas snooker grew slowly and tennis maintained the same percentage in 2000 but both of them still under 15%.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"belonged to" -> "were associated with"
Explanation: "belonged to" is more commonly used to indicate ownership or membership, while "were associated with" better describes the relationship between the percentage and the sports.
"Meanwhile" -> "Additionally"
Explanation: "Meanwhile" suggests a contrast or temporal sequence, which is not the intended meaning here. "Additionally" better connects the information about the other sports.
"each of them" -> "each sport"
Explanation: "each of them" is redundant and can be replaced with a more concise term to refer to the individual sports mentioned.
"has the biggest percentage" -> "had the highest percentage"
Explanation: "has" should be changed to "had" to maintain past tense consistency, and "highest" is more precise than "biggest" in this context.
"little higher than" -> "slightly above"
Explanation: "little higher than" is awkward phrasing; "slightly above" is a more natural and precise description.
"little decreased" -> "slightly decreased"
Explanation: "little" is used incorrectly as an adverb here; "slightly" is more appropriate for indicating a small decrease.
"has the smallest proportion" -> "had the smallest proportion"
Explanation: Consistency in verb tense is important; "had" should be used to maintain past tense throughout the essay.
"Pproportions" -> "Proportions"
Explanation: Capitalization error; "Proportions" should be capitalized correctly.
"from 20% to 40%" -> "ranging from 20% to 40%"
Explanation: "ranging from" provides a clearer indication of the range of percentages.
"two higher numbers" -> "two higher percentages"
Explanation: "higher numbers" is ambiguous; using "percentages" clarifies that the comparison is about proportions.
"corresponding 30%" -> "approximately 30%"
Explanation: "corresponding" is unnecessary and awkward; "approximately" is more precise in this context.
"lower than 30%" -> "below 30%"
Explanation: "lower than" can be replaced with "below" for a clearer comparison.
"dropped to lower than 15%" -> "dropped to below 15%"
Explanation: "lower than" can be replaced with "below" for consistency and clarity.
"decreased to approximately 15%" -> "decreased to around 15%"
Explanation: "approximately" can be replaced with "around" for a more casual tone, which is suitable for this context.
"both of them" -> "both sports"
Explanation: "both of them" is redundant and can be replaced with a more concise term to refer to swimming and rugby.
"still under 15%" -> "still below 15%"
Explanation: "under" can be replaced with "below" for consistency and clarity.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

[
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the task by providing an overview of the main trends in the data. It covers the key features of the chart, such as the highest and lowest percentages of interest in sports and the changes over the three time periods. The essay also highlights the proportions of different sports over the years, albeit with some inaccuracies and inconsistencies.
How to improve: To improve, the essay should ensure that all details provided are accurate and relevant. Additionally, the essay could benefit from clearer organization and smoother transitions between ideas. Extending the analysis of the trends beyond just stating percentages could also enhance the response. Furthermore, attention to grammar and clarity of expression would enhance overall readability.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay arranges information and ideas coherently, with a clear overall progression from discussing the highest and lowest interests in sports to detailing the trends of various sports over the years. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion within and between sentences, such as awkward transitions or unclear relationships between ideas. For example, the transition between discussing football and golf to introducing the other sports could be smoother. Additionally, there are minor errors in referencing, such as inconsistent capitalization of sport names.

How to improve:
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Use cohesive devices more effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs logically. Pay attention to referencing consistency and accuracy throughout the essay. Furthermore, strive for clarity and precision in expression to avoid confusion for the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task of describing statistical data from a chart. The candidate attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "illustrates" and "proportions," but there is some inaccuracy and awkwardness in expression, particularly in phrases like "little higher than 40%" and "little decreased 5 years later." The use of phrases like "which is also known as the ‘king of sports’" shows an attempt to use varied lexical items. However, the choice and use of vocabulary sometimes hinder the clarity and precision of the information conveyed. For instance, the expression "four other sports, which are swimming, rugby, snooker, tennis, accounted for from 20% to 30% each of them" could be more accurately and clearly phrased. There are also several errors in word choice and collocation, such as "with corresponding 30% and lower than 30%," and minor spelling issues such as "Pproportions."

How to improve:
To aim for a higher band score, the candidate should focus on enhancing precision in vocabulary usage. This can be achieved by:

Reviewing and practicing the accurate use of prepositions and articles, which are often overlooked but crucial for precise communication.
Expanding the lexical range by incorporating synonyms and avoiding repetitive phrases; using tools like thesauruses can aid in learning how similar words can have slightly different nuances.
Paying closer attention to collocation, which involves understanding which words commonly go together. Reading a wide range of texts and noticing established word combinations can improve one’s natural usage of English.
Proofreading to catch and correct minor spelling errors and to ensure proper capitalization and punctuation, as these small details can impact the perceived quality of lexical resource use.
Practicing paraphrasing skills to reword sentences more effectively, thereby avoiding awkward constructions and enhancing the overall readability of the text.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with some attempts at complex structures. There is a variety of sentence structures used throughout the essay, including simple sentences and compound sentences. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and some sentences could be more concise for clarity. While there are some errors in grammar and punctuation, they do not significantly hinder communication.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using more complex sentence structures consistently and accurately. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and punctuation. Additionally, aim for clearer expression and avoid awkward phrasing by refining sentence structures and transitions between ideas. Regular practice with varied sentence structures and careful proofreading can help enhance accuracy and fluency.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided diagram illustrates the percentage of British individuals interested in various sports spanning the years 1995 to 2005.

In general, football garnered the highest average percentage of interest, while golf received the lowest. Additionally, swimming, rugby, snooker, and tennis each accounted for between 20% and 30% of interest.

Examining the bar chart, football, often dubbed the ‘king of sports’, consistently held the largest percentage throughout the three years, peaking at just over 40% in 1995, experiencing a slight increase by 2000, and reaching nearly 45% in 2005. Conversely, golf had the smallest proportion, commencing at approximately 15% in 1995, experiencing a slight decline five years later, and concluding with a figure lower than 15% in 2005.

The proportions of the four other sports fell between those of football and golf, ranging from 20% to 40%. Notably, snooker and tennis commenced with higher percentages than rugby and swimming, with figures of around 30% and below 30%, respectively. However, while the interest in rugby and swimming nearly equaled that of tennis in preceding years, the percentages for snooker and tennis dropped to below 15% in the subsequent five-year period. In the final year of the survey, swimming and rugby decreased to approximately 15%, while snooker witnessed slow growth and tennis maintained its 2000 percentage, both remaining below 15%.