Task 1: The diagram below shows how recycled paper is made. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The progress of making recycled paper is illustrated in the diagram.

Overall, this linear process contains 4 main stages, which begins with making pulp as the main material and finishes when new recycled paper are made and ready to be delivered to the customers.

With regard to the first stage when the used paper are collected and transformed to the waters chemicals tanks by a conveyor belt. In there, chemicals dissolve paper to become pulp which is filtered the first time in the next step. This mixture then is pumped to another container fulled by water and soap with an inlet for air and the outlet allowing it to flow to the following stages.

At the third stage, the pulp dimmed on water and soap is cleaned the second time by water and chemicals. After this stage, the mixture of pulp is ready for the stage of paper-making. The following stage transfers the pulp to a conveyor belt where a variety of heated rollers and water is waiting to mold and form it into scrolls of paper. Therefore, this process finishes at the delivering stage which brings it to the market.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"the progress of making recycled paper is illustrated" -> "the process of manufacturing recycled paper is depicted"
Explanation: Using "manufacturing" instead of "making" and "depicted" instead of "illustrated" provides a more formal and precise description of the process.
"which begins with making pulp as the main material" -> "which commences with the production of pulp as the primary material"
Explanation: "Commences" is a more formal synonym for "begins," and "production of pulp" is a clearer and more specific phrase than "making pulp."
"finishes when new recycled paper are made" -> "concludes when new recycled paper is produced"
Explanation: Using "concludes" instead of "finishes" maintains a formal tone, and "is produced" is grammatically correct in referring to recycled paper as a singular entity.
"regard to the first stage when the used paper are collected" -> "regarding the initial stage when used paper is collected"
Explanation: "Regarding" is a more formal alternative to "with regard to," and using "is collected" instead of "are collected" ensures subject-verb agreement with "used paper" as a singular noun phrase.
"transformed to the waters chemicals tanks" -> "transported to the water-chemical tanks"
Explanation: "Transported" is a more appropriate term for moving items from one place to another. "Water-chemical tanks" is hyphenated for clarity and to indicate a compound noun.
"In there, chemicals dissolve paper to become pulp" -> "Here, chemicals dissolve the paper to create pulp"
Explanation: Using "here" instead of "In there" provides a smoother transition, and "create" is a more active verb than "become."
"which is filtered the first time in the next step" -> "which undergoes initial filtration in the subsequent step"
Explanation: "Undergoes initial filtration" is a more descriptive phrase than "is filtered the first time," clarifying the stage of the process.
"This mixture then is pumped to another container fulled by water and soap" -> "This mixture is then pumped into another container filled with water and soap"
Explanation: "Filled with" is the correct preposition to use with "water and soap," and the word order is adjusted for clarity and proper syntax.
"the pulp dimmed on water and soap is cleaned" -> "the pulp soaked in water and soap undergoes cleaning"
Explanation: "Soaked" is a more precise term than "dimmed on," and "undergoes cleaning" is a more active and accurate description of the process.
"The following stage transfers the pulp to a conveyor belt" -> "Subsequently, the pulp is transferred to a conveyor belt in the next stage"
Explanation: Rearranging the sentence improves clarity and flow, and "subsequently" is a more formal transition word.
"a variety of heated rollers and water is waiting to mold and form it into scrolls of paper" -> "various heated rollers and water are utilized to mold the pulp into paper scrolls"
Explanation: "Utilized" is a more formal term for "used," and "mold the pulp into paper scrolls" provides a clearer description of the action.
"Therefore, this process finishes at the delivering stage" -> "Thus, this process concludes at the delivery stage"
Explanation: "Thus" is a more formal synonym for "therefore," and "concludes" maintains a formal tone. "Delivery stage" is also more precise than "delivering stage."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay adequately addresses the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the main stages involved in making recycled paper. It covers the four main stages mentioned in the diagram, including collecting used paper, making pulp, cleaning the pulp, and the paper-making process. Key features such as the use of chemicals, water, and rollers are highlighted. However, the details provided could be more specific and accurate, and some aspects lack clarity, such as the description of the stages. Additionally, there is room for improvement in the organization and cohesion of the essay.

How to improve:
To improve the essay and potentially achieve a higher band score, focus on providing more specific and accurate details for each stage of the process. Ensure clarity in describing the stages and their connections. Also, work on the organization of ideas to create a more coherent and cohesive essay structure.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information coherently with a clear overall progression, beginning with the collection of used paper and ending with the delivery of the recycled paper. The essay effectively uses cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between sentences, such as "Overall," "With regard to," "At the third stage," and "Therefore." However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as "the waters chemicals tanks" and "dimmed on water and soap," which could be improved for clarity. The essay also lacks clear referencing and substitution, as some pronouns could be used to refer back to previously mentioned elements in the process. Paragraphing is utilized, but not always logically, as some ideas could be grouped more effectively within paragraphs.

How to improve: To improve cohesion, ensure consistent and clear usage of cohesive devices throughout the essay. Also, focus on using referencing and substitution more effectively to avoid repetition and enhance coherence. Additionally, consider refining the paragraphing to ensure a more logical flow of ideas within and between paragraphs.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an attempt to use an adequate range of vocabulary for the task. There is a variety of vocabulary used, including terms related to the process of making recycled paper such as "pulp," "conveyor belt," "chemicals," and "scrolls of paper." Additionally, some less common vocabulary is employed, like "dimmed" and "mold," though there are instances where simpler language could have been replaced with more sophisticated alternatives.

However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "dimmed" instead of "immersed" and "fulled" instead of "filled." These errors affect the precision and fluency of the language. Furthermore, there are occasional errors in word formation and spelling, such as "pulp dimmed" instead of "pulp immersed" or "pulp dipped," which slightly impede communication.

How to improve:

Enhance vocabulary usage by incorporating a wider range of synonyms and more sophisticated terms where appropriate.
Pay attention to word choice and collocation to ensure precision and accuracy in expression.
Review spelling and word formation to minimize errors that could disrupt the flow of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt at using a variety of structures, including complex sentences. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors throughout the essay, such as "the pulp dimmed on water and soap is cleaned the second time by water and chemicals," which hinder clarity. Additionally, there are punctuation errors, like missing commas and incorrect use of articles ("a conveyor belt" should be "the conveyor belt"). The essay also struggles with word choice and cohesion, affecting the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
How to improve: To improve, focus on using a wider range of grammatical structures accurately. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and correct punctuation. Work on improving the flow and coherence of your ideas, ensuring each sentence contributes to the overall clarity and organization of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The diagram illustrates the process of manufacturing recycled paper. It comprises four main stages, commencing with the collection of used paper and culminating in the production of new recycled paper ready for distribution.

Initially, used paper is gathered and conveyed to tanks containing water and chemicals. Within these tanks, the paper undergoes dissolution, transforming into pulp. Subsequently, the pulp is filtered for the first time. Following this, the mixture is transferred to another container filled with water and soap, featuring an inlet for air and an outlet for onward flow to subsequent stages.

In the third stage, the pulp, immersed in water and soap, undergoes a second cleaning process, employing water and chemicals. Once cleaned, the pulp is prepared for paper-making. This is achieved by conveying the pulp to a belt equipped with heated rollers and water, facilitating the molding of the pulp into paper scrolls.

The final stage involves the delivery of the produced paper to the market.