Task 2: Some say that news has no connection with most people's lives and it is a waste of time for most of us to read newspapers and watch television news programs. Do you agree or disagree?

In the contemporary world, it is argued that reading newspapers and watching TV news channels are time-consuming activities as these traditional news sources have no association with people's lives. From my perspective, I disagree with this statement due to several reasons.
Firstly, we can not deny that news plays a crucial role in our society. To clarify, reading newspapers and following breaking news on TV can raise people's awareness about current public health issues, economic trends or global events, thereby allowing them to obtain comprehensive knowledge about various social problems and make informed decisions. For example, The New York Times is one of the world's leading newspapers which provides residents with the latest topics on politics, culture and economics. Moreover, by acquiring news from official sources, individuals can easily monitor reports about daily weather, epidemics and natural disasters to take timely response measures. For instance, Japan's NHK television station gives citizens early warnings about earthquakes in 2024 so they can quickly accumulate food and find shelters to avoid disaster.
In addition, reporting news is considered as an efficient way to encourage individuals and institutions to have a sense of responsibility to the community. Directly exposing bad sides and evils on mass media can ensure fairness in society and maintain moral values in many fields such as business, government and civil society.
In conclusion, news can provide many benefits for people's lives, including raising awareness, giving warnings about emergency situations to reduce the risk of accidents and fostering community spirits. Therefore, I believe that staying informed through news sources is crucial in personal and social development.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In the contemporary world" -> "In the modern world"
Explanation: "Contemporary" can imply a focus on the present moment, whereas "modern" encompasses a broader range of time periods, making it more suitable for an academic context discussing general trends.
"time-consuming activities" -> "time-intensive activities"
Explanation: "Time-consuming" can imply that the activities are tedious or boring, which is not the intended meaning here. "Time-intensive" is more neutral and precise, focusing on the amount of time required rather than the perceived value.
"have no association with people’s lives" -> "are not relevant to people’s lives"
Explanation: "Have no association" is somewhat vague and informal. "Are not relevant" is more direct and academically appropriate, clearly conveying the lack of connection between the activities and people’s lives.
"we can not deny" -> "it cannot be denied"
Explanation: "We can not deny" is informal and slightly awkward in formal writing. "It cannot be denied" is more formal and appropriate for academic discourse.
"raise people’s awareness" -> "increase public awareness"
Explanation: "Raise people’s awareness" is a bit informal and vague. "Increase public awareness" is more precise and commonly used in formal texts, emphasizing the broader impact on the public.
"allowing them to obtain comprehensive knowledge" -> "enabling them to gain comprehensive knowledge"
Explanation: "Allowing them to obtain" is slightly informal and less direct. "Enabling them to gain" is more active and formal, suggesting a more direct causal relationship between the news and the acquisition of knowledge.
"The New York Times is one of the world’s leading newspapers" -> "The New York Times is a leading global newspaper"
Explanation: "One of the world’s leading" is redundant as "leading" already implies global significance. Simplifying to "a leading global newspaper" maintains the formality and precision.
"by acquiring news from official sources" -> "by accessing news from official sources"
Explanation: "Acquiring" can imply a more active process of obtaining something, which might not be the intended meaning here. "Accessing" is more neutral and commonly used in formal contexts to describe the act of obtaining information.
"can easily monitor reports about daily weather, epidemics and natural disasters" -> "can readily monitor reports on daily weather, epidemics, and natural disasters"
Explanation: "Easily" is somewhat informal and vague. "Readily" is more formal and precise, and removing the commas after "weather" and "epidemics" improves the grammatical structure of the list.
"to take timely response measures" -> "to take timely response measures"
Explanation: This is a typographical error. The word "response" should be singular to match the singular verb "take."
"considered as an efficient way" -> "considered an efficient method"
Explanation: "Considered as" is grammatically incorrect. "Considered an" is the correct form, and "method" is more formal than "way" in this context, fitting better in an academic essay.
"Directly exposing bad sides and evils" -> "Directly exposing negative aspects and vices"
Explanation: "Bad sides and evils" is informal and vague. "Negative aspects and vices" are more precise and appropriate for formal writing, enhancing the academic tone.
"fostering community spirits" -> "fostering community spirit"
Explanation: "Community spirits" is incorrect as "spirits" is typically used to refer to supernatural entities. "Community spirit" is the correct term, referring to the collective morale and unity of a community.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating the writer’s disagreement with the notion that news is irrelevant to people’s lives. The introduction sets the stage for the argument, and the body paragraphs provide specific reasons and examples that support this stance. For instance, the essay discusses the role of news in raising awareness about public health issues and providing timely warnings about natural disasters, which are pertinent to the question. However, while the essay presents strong arguments, it could benefit from explicitly acknowledging the opposing viewpoint to strengthen the overall response.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could briefly outline the counterargument—that some people view news as irrelevant—and then refute it. This would demonstrate a more comprehensive engagement with the topic and show an understanding of differing perspectives.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position against the idea that news is a waste of time. The writer consistently supports this position throughout the essay, with each paragraph reinforcing the argument. The use of phrases like "From my perspective, I disagree" and "I believe that staying informed through news sources is crucial" clearly indicates the writer’s stance. However, the essay could improve clarity by ensuring that each paragraph explicitly ties back to the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer could include transitional phrases that explicitly connect back to the thesis statement at the beginning of each paragraph. This would help reinforce the main argument and enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, with relevant examples that illustrate the benefits of news consumption. The references to The New York Times and Japan’s NHK television station provide concrete evidence to back up the claims made. However, while the ideas are well-supported, the essay could benefit from further elaboration on how these examples directly impact individuals’ lives.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer could delve deeper into the implications of the examples provided. For instance, explaining how being informed about economic trends can lead to better personal financial decisions would add depth to the argument and demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the relevance of news in people’s lives without deviating into unrelated areas. Each point made is relevant to the argument against the prompt’s assertion. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly aligned with the specific question about the perceived waste of time associated with news consumption.
- How to improve: To ensure even greater focus on the topic, the writer could explicitly address the idea of news being a "waste of time" by discussing how the benefits of staying informed outweigh the time spent consuming news. This would create a more direct engagement with the prompt and reinforce the argument against the notion that news is unimportant.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. With minor adjustments to address counterarguments, enhance clarity, deepen examples, and directly confront the idea of news as a waste of time, the essay could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical progression of ideas. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the argument, stating the writer’s disagreement with the notion that news is irrelevant. The body paragraphs are well-structured, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct reason supporting the thesis. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the role of news in raising awareness about societal issues, while the second addresses the responsibility of news reporting in promoting community values. This logical organization aids the reader in following the argument seamlessly.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, the writer could consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the main idea more explicitly. Additionally, incorporating transitional phrases between points within paragraphs can help to further clarify the connections between ideas. For example, phrases like "Furthermore," or "In addition to this," can create smoother transitions.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction and conclusion are clearly delineated, providing a strong framework for the essay. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from further subdivision, as it combines two significant ideas (the role of news in community responsibility and the exposure of societal issues) that could be explored in separate paragraphs for greater clarity and depth.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, the writer should ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by relevant examples. For instance, the second body paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on the role of news in fostering community responsibility and the other on how it exposes societal issues. This would allow for a more thorough exploration of each point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Moreover," and "In addition," which help to connect ideas and maintain the flow of the argument. However, while these devices are effective, the range is somewhat limited, and the essay could benefit from a broader variety of cohesive devices to enhance the overall coherence.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer can incorporate synonyms or alternative phrases to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly using "Moreover," the writer could use "Additionally," "Furthermore," or "Another important point is." Additionally, employing causal connectors like "As a result," or "Consequently," when discussing the implications of news consumption could further enhance the cohesiveness of the argument.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, with clear organization and effective use of paragraphs and cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can elevate the essay’s clarity and depth, potentially achieving an even higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as "crucial role," "comprehensive knowledge," and "sense of responsibility." These phrases effectively convey the author’s arguments and enhance the overall clarity of the essay. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "news" and "reporting" could be substituted with synonyms like "information," "coverage," or "media" to avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the author should actively seek synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "news," they could incorporate phrases like "current affairs" or "media coverage." Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives and adverbs could enrich the text, such as "timely updates" instead of just "news."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary accurately, with phrases like "raise people’s awareness" and "take timely response measures" effectively conveying the intended meaning. However, there are moments of imprecision, such as the phrase "bad sides and evils," which could be more clearly articulated. This phrase is vague and could benefit from more specific language, such as "corruption" or "unethical practices."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the author should focus on using specific terms that accurately reflect their ideas. For example, instead of saying "bad sides and evils," they could specify what they mean by using terms like "malpractices" or "social injustices." This will help to clarify the argument and make it more impactful.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is largely correct, which contributes positively to the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. However, there is a notable error in the phrase "to take timely response measures," where "response" could be more effectively expressed as "responsive" to align with the intended meaning. Additionally, the phrase "accumulate food" is slightly awkward and might be better phrased as "stockpile food."
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy and overall language quality, the author should proofread their work carefully or use spelling and grammar checking tools. Furthermore, practicing writing with a focus on common phrases and collocations can help in recognizing and avoiding awkward constructions.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, achieving a Band Score of 7. To reach a higher band, the author should focus on expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and ensuring grammatical accuracy through careful proofreading.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "reading newspapers and following breaking news on TV can raise people’s awareness about current public health issues, economic trends or global events." This structure effectively conveys multiple ideas within a single sentence. Additionally, the essay employs a mix of simple and compound sentences, which helps maintain clarity and engagement. However, some sentences could benefit from further complexity or variation. For example, the sentence "In addition, reporting news is considered as an efficient way to encourage individuals and institutions to have a sense of responsibility to the community" could be restructured to enhance its sophistication.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more relative clauses, conditional sentences, or varied introductory phrases. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with "In addition," try using phrases like "Furthermore," or "Moreover," to introduce new ideas. Additionally, experimenting with inversion or using participial phrases could add complexity and interest to your writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For example, the phrase "we can not deny" should be written as "we cannot deny," as "cannot" is the standard form. Additionally, the use of commas is generally effective, but there are instances where they could enhance clarity, such as before "or global events" in the first paragraph to separate items in a list. The use of articles is mostly correct, but there are slight inconsistencies, such as in "Japan’s NHK television station gives citizens early warnings about earthquakes in 2024," which could be clearer if rephrased to specify that it refers to earthquakes in general rather than a specific year.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to commonly confused words and phrases, such as "cannot" versus "can not." Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, particularly regarding lists and clauses, can help improve clarity. Practicing sentence diagramming or using grammar-checking tools can also assist in identifying and correcting errors before finalizing your essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, there are opportunities for improvement in sentence structure variety and minor grammatical precision. By focusing on these areas, the writer can further elevate their writing to achieve an even higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary world, it is argued that reading newspapers and watching TV news channels are time-consuming activities, as these traditional news sources have no connection to people’s lives. From my perspective, I disagree with this statement for several reasons.

Firstly, it cannot be denied that news plays a crucial role in our society. To clarify, reading newspapers and following breaking news on TV can increase public awareness about current public health issues, economic trends, or global events, thereby enabling individuals to gain comprehensive knowledge about various social problems and make informed decisions. For example, The New York Times is a leading global newspaper that provides residents with the latest topics on politics, culture, and economics. Moreover, by accessing news from official sources, individuals can easily monitor reports about daily weather, epidemics, and natural disasters to take timely response measures. For instance, Japan’s NHK television station gives citizens early warnings about earthquakes in 2024 so they can quickly accumulate food and find shelters to avoid disaster.

In addition, reporting news is considered an efficient method to encourage individuals and institutions to have a sense of responsibility towards the community. Directly exposing negative aspects and vices in mass media can ensure fairness in society and maintain moral values in many fields, such as business, government, and civil society.

In conclusion, news can provide many benefits for people’s lives, including raising awareness, giving warnings about emergency situations to reduce the risk of accidents, and fostering community spirit. Therefore, I believe that staying informed through news sources is crucial for personal and social development.