Task 2: The tradition that the family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts?

Task 2: The tradition that the family gets together to eat meals is disappearing.
What are the reasons? What are the impacts?

In today's world, there are less and less occasions that all members in one family have meals together. There are several of reasons for this phenomenon, which is having a significant impact on individuals and on the community as a whole
There are three important reasons why a family hardly sits together to have meals. Firstly, modern and busy life makes people busy and takes less time for family. While parents have to work overtime or go on a business trip regularly, children also take part in social classes.That lead to gathering time is luxury in many families. Secondly, fast development of technology is disturbing the meals. For example, children prefer paying attention to a tablet's monitor to enjoying the meals and talking with each other. The last reason is fast food has become more and more common. Junk foods often have high calories and it takes a long time to be completely consumed. Therefore home-made food seems to be not as delicious as itself thus we break the meals.
This tendency could have a negative impact in terms of both family life and society. An important concern for family relationships, when people have less time to interact with other members in the family, if babies have silent formative years and aren’t shaped their personality, they hardly become good people in the future. Another negative factor is personal health. A balanced diet comes from clean food in our kitchen not from fast food chains. Consequently, obesity has become a serious problem in many developed countries.In terms of society, family meals not only provide nutrients but also teach the younger generation about the life experience of older people.
In conclusion, as indicated above, there are a number of reasons why the tradition that the family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. While the economyeconomic develop so fast and convenience of technology play a significant role, both family and society are under negative effect.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In today’s world, there are less and less occasions" -> "In contemporary society, there are fewer and fewer occasions"
Explanation: "In contemporary society" is a more precise and formal way to refer to the current time period, and "fewer" is the correct comparative form for countable nouns like "occasions."
"all members in one family have meals together" -> "all family members share meals together"
Explanation: "Share meals" is a more natural and precise phrase than "have meals," which sounds awkward and informal in this context.
"which is having a significant impact on individuals and on the community as a whole" -> "which significantly impacts both individuals and the community"
Explanation: "Significantly impacts" is a more direct and formal way to express the effect, and removing "on" before "the community as a whole" simplifies the phrase without losing meaning.
"a family hardly sits together to have meals" -> "families rarely gather for meals"
Explanation: "Gather" is a more formal synonym for "sits together," and "rarely" is more appropriate than "hardly" in formal writing.
"modern and busy life makes people busy and takes less time for family" -> "the modern and busy lifestyle leaves little time for family"
Explanation: "The modern and busy lifestyle" is a more precise and formal way to describe the contemporary situation, and "leaves little time" is a more natural expression than "takes less time."
"That lead to gathering time is luxury in many families" -> "This leads to a scarcity of family gatherings"
Explanation: "This leads to a scarcity of family gatherings" is clearer and more formal than the original phrase, which is awkwardly constructed.
"fast development of technology is disturbing the meals" -> "rapid technological advancements disrupt mealtime"
Explanation: "Rapid technological advancements" is a more precise and formal way to describe the pace of technological change, and "disrupt mealtime" is a more natural and clear expression.
"children prefer paying attention to a tablet’s monitor to enjoying the meals" -> "children prefer focusing on tablet screens to enjoying meals"
Explanation: "Focusing on tablet screens" is a clearer and more formal way to describe the action, and removing "a" before "tablet’s monitor" corrects the possessive form.
"The last reason is fast food has become more and more common" -> "The final reason is that fast food has become increasingly common"
Explanation: "The final reason" is more formal than "the last reason," and "increasingly common" is a more precise adverbial phrase than "more and more."
"Junk foods often have high calories and it takes a long time to be completely consumed" -> "Junk foods typically have high caloric content and are often difficult to fully consume"
Explanation: "Typically have high caloric content" is more precise and formal than "often have high calories," and "are often difficult to fully consume" is a more formal way to describe the consumption process.
"home-made food seems to be not as delicious as itself" -> "homemade food appears less appealing than its traditional counterpart"
Explanation: "Appears less appealing than its traditional counterpart" is a more formal and precise way to express the comparison, avoiding the awkward construction of the original phrase.
"we break the meals" -> "we abandon the tradition of family meals"
Explanation: "Abandon the tradition of family meals" is a clearer and more formal way to describe the action, replacing the vague and informal "break the meals."
"fast economyeconomic develop so fast" -> "rapid economic development is accelerating"
Explanation: "Rapid economic development is accelerating" corrects the grammatical error and uses more formal language.
"convenience of technology play a significant role" -> "the convenience of technology plays a significant role"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "convenience of technology" corrects the article usage, and "plays" agrees in number with "convenience."

These changes enhance the academic tone and precision of the essay, aligning it more closely with formal writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: it identifies reasons for the decline of family meals and discusses the impacts of this trend. The reasons provided include busy lifestyles, technological distractions, and the prevalence of fast food. The impacts mentioned relate to family relationships and personal health, as well as societal implications. However, the explanations could be more comprehensive. For instance, while the reasons are listed, they could benefit from deeper analysis and connection to the impacts discussed.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each reason is not only stated but also elaborated upon with specific examples or data. Additionally, linking each reason directly to its corresponding impact would create a clearer narrative and strengthen the overall argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position regarding the decline of family meals and its negative consequences. However, the clarity of the position could be improved by refining the thesis statement and ensuring that it is explicitly stated in the introduction. The conclusion reiterates the main points but could be more assertive in summarizing the overall stance.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer should craft a more definitive thesis statement in the introduction that clearly outlines the reasons and impacts that will be discussed. Additionally, reinforcing this position in the conclusion with a strong summary of the main arguments would help maintain focus throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the reasons for the decline of family meals and the associated impacts. However, the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the mention of technology and fast food lacks specific examples or statistics that could substantiate the claims. The argument about the negative effects on children’s development is also somewhat vague and could be better articulated.
- How to improve: To strengthen the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should include specific examples, anecdotes, or data to back up claims. For instance, citing studies on the effects of family meals on child development or statistics on obesity rates could provide more weight to the arguments. Additionally, expanding on each point with more detail would enhance the overall depth of the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons for the decline of family meals and their impacts. However, there are moments where the writing could be more concise and focused. For instance, the phrase "if babies have silent formative years and aren’t shaped their personality" is somewhat convoluted and could distract from the main point.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should strive for clarity and conciseness in their language. Avoiding overly complex sentences and ensuring that each sentence directly contributes to the argument will help keep the essay on topic. Additionally, reviewing each paragraph to ensure that it directly relates to the prompt can help eliminate any potential deviations.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents relevant ideas, it could benefit from deeper analysis, clearer structure, and more robust support for its claims.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs outlining reasons for the decline in family meals, and a conclusion summarizing the points made. However, the logical flow could be improved. For example, the transition between the reasons and impacts could be more explicit. The essay jumps from discussing reasons directly to impacts without a clear transition, which can confuse the reader about how these ideas connect.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly link ideas. For instance, after discussing the reasons, a sentence like "These changes not only affect family dynamics but also have broader implications for society" could serve as a bridge to the impacts section. Additionally, ensuring that each reason is clearly delineated with its own paragraph can help maintain clarity.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but the structure within them can be improved. The first body paragraph contains multiple reasons but lacks clear separation between them. The second body paragraph discusses impacts but could benefit from clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through the argument.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single main idea. For example, the reasons for the decline in family meals could be split into three distinct paragraphs, each starting with a clear topic sentence. This would not only improve readability but also help the reader follow the argument more easily. Similarly, the impacts could be organized into separate paragraphs, each addressing a different aspect of the impact on family and society.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "In conclusion," which help to structure the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and ideas are weak. For example, the phrase "This tendency could have a negative impact" could be better linked to the previous discussion with a more specific reference to the reasons mentioned.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "Moreover," "In addition," or "Consequently" to connect ideas and show relationships between them. Additionally, using pronouns or synonyms can help to maintain cohesion without repetitive phrasing. For example, instead of repeating "family meals," you could use "these gatherings" in subsequent references.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, which is essential for a stronger overall band score in the IELTS writing assessment.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use varied expressions. For instance, terms like "fast development of technology" and "junk foods" indicate an understanding of relevant vocabulary. However, phrases such as "having a significant impact" and "gathering time is luxury" are somewhat repetitive and lack variation. The use of "hardly" in "a family hardly sits together" is also not the most appropriate choice in this context, as it implies rarity rather than the frequency of occurrence.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more descriptive phrases. For example, instead of repeating "busy," alternatives like "hectic" or "overloaded" could be used. Additionally, the writer could explore more nuanced expressions for "impact," such as "consequences" or "repercussions," to add depth to the discussion.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "it takes a long time to be completely consumed" is vague and does not clearly convey the intended meaning regarding fast food. Similarly, the phrase "home-made food seems to be not as delicious as itself" is awkward and unclear, leading to confusion about the comparison being made.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and correctness in word choice. For example, instead of saying "home-made food seems to be not as delicious as itself," a clearer expression could be "home-cooked meals are often perceived as less appealing compared to fast food." This change not only clarifies the comparison but also enhances the overall readability of the essay.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "economyeconomic" (which seems to be a typographical error), "individuals" (used as "individuals" but contextually misplaced), and "junk foods" (should be "junk food" when referring to it in a general sense). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify errors. Additionally, practicing commonly misspelled words and their correct forms can build confidence in spelling accuracy.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of lexical resource, there is significant room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future IELTS assessments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, phrases like "There are several of reasons for this phenomenon" and "This tendency could have a negative impact in terms of both family life and society" show an attempt to use varied structures. However, the essay relies heavily on simple and compound sentences, which limits the complexity and sophistication of the argument. The use of phrases such as "the last reason is fast food has become more and more common" could be restructured for better clarity and variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences and varied conjunctions. For example, instead of saying "The last reason is fast food has become more and more common," the writer could say, "Another contributing factor is the increasing prevalence of fast food, which has altered traditional eating habits." Additionally, using introductory clauses or phrases can help create more complex sentence structures.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, the phrase "there are less and less occasions" should be "there are fewer occasions," as "fewer" is used for countable nouns. The sentence "That lead to gathering time is luxury in many families" contains a grammatical error; it should be "That leads to gathering time being a luxury in many families." Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as missing commas in "children also take part in social classes.That lead to gathering time is luxury," where a space is needed after the period.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review subject-verb agreement and the use of countable versus uncountable nouns. Practicing sentence restructuring can also help clarify meaning. For punctuation, the writer should pay attention to spacing after periods and commas, as well as the use of commas in complex sentences. Regular practice with grammar exercises and proofreading can significantly enhance accuracy.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s world, there are fewer and fewer occasions when all members of a family have meals together. There are several reasons for this phenomenon, which significantly impacts both individuals and the community as a whole.

There are three important reasons why families rarely gather for meals. Firstly, the modern and busy lifestyle leaves little time for family. While parents have to work overtime or go on business trips regularly, children also participate in social classes. This leads to gathering time being a luxury in many families. Secondly, rapid technological advancements disrupt mealtime. For example, children prefer focusing on tablet screens rather than enjoying meals and talking with each other. The final reason is that fast food has become increasingly common. Junk foods often have high caloric content and are often difficult to fully consume. Therefore, homemade food appears less appealing than its traditional counterpart, leading us to abandon the tradition of family meals.

This tendency could have a negative impact on both family life and society. An important concern for family relationships is that when people have less time to interact with other family members, children may have silent formative years and aren’t shaped in their personality, making it difficult for them to become good people in the future. Another negative factor is personal health. A balanced diet comes from clean food in our kitchen, not from fast food chains. Consequently, obesity has become a serious problem in many developed countries. In terms of society, family meals not only provide nutrients but also teach the younger generation about the life experiences of older people.

In conclusion, as indicated above, there are a number of reasons why the tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing. While rapid economic development and the convenience of technology play significant roles, both family and society are under negative effects.