Teachers used to convey information, but now with wider resources of information. Some people think that there is no role for teachers to play in modern education, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In this day and age , one thought of school holds that the importance of teachers in education is overshadowed by the reservoir of materials’s resources , others oppose . From my perspective , I completely prioritize the role of school in teaching even if the amount of available information is growing rapidly .
On the one hand , opponents of the teacher status in modern education often cite a prominents drawback .The wider resources of materials including books , library as well as internet clearly offer conveniences for students because of unlimited time and place . For example , individuals with busy schedules can reach adequate knowledge through online information without following a constant school timeline . These students , as a result , may find suitable methods which are adapted for their own schedule . The same logic can be applied for homeschooling .
On the other hand, advocates of protecting the role of teachers believe that students’ deep understanding about lessons could not be gained because of the lack of assistance from teachers . The main reason for this is that teachers already expertising in certain areas could teach in a systematic way for children . For instance , building study schedules is unlikely to be a hard task when compared to self-study because of teachers' methods. Ultimately , the process of acquiring knowledge seems to be easier and more effective for learners when any studying problems are ready to be tackled by those who are trained carefully to be dedicated teachers .
To summarize , although the huge available materials bring significant conveniences through the internet or library , I reckon that the role of teachers nowadays can not be replaced since the effectiveness in teaching transcends any beyond information .

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In this day and age" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "In this day and age" is a colloquial expression. "Currently" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"one thought of school holds" -> "a prevailing view in educational circles holds"
Explanation: "One thought of school" is vague and informal. "A prevailing view in educational circles" is more precise and formal, specifying the context.
"the reservoir of materials’s resources" -> "the vast array of educational resources"
Explanation: "The reservoir of materials’s resources" is awkward and grammatically incorrect. "The vast array of educational resources" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"others oppose" -> "others argue"
Explanation: "Oppose" is too strong and informal for this context. "Argue" is more appropriate for academic discussions.
"I completely prioritize" -> "I strongly advocate"
Explanation: "Completely prioritize" is somewhat informal and imprecise. "Strongly advocate" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"prominents drawback" -> "significant drawback"
Explanation: "Prominents" is not a word. "Significant" is the correct term and is more appropriate in formal writing.
"clearly offer conveniences" -> "clearly provide advantages"
Explanation: "Conveniences" is too informal and vague for this context. "Advantages" is more precise and formal.
"unlimited time and place" -> "unrestricted access"
Explanation: "Unlimited time and place" is redundant and informal. "Unrestricted access" is concise and formal.
"busy schedules can reach adequate knowledge" -> "busy schedules can access sufficient knowledge"
Explanation: "Reach" is not the correct verb in this context. "Access" is the appropriate verb for acquiring information.
"following a constant school timeline" -> "adhering to a traditional school schedule"
Explanation: "Following a constant school timeline" is awkward and unclear. "Adhering to a traditional school schedule" is clearer and more formal.
"The same logic can be applied for homeschooling" -> "This logic can also be applied to homeschooling"
Explanation: "The same logic" is vague and informal. "This logic" is more precise and formal.
"students’ deep understanding about lessons" -> "students’ profound understanding of the curriculum"
Explanation: "Deep understanding about lessons" is informal and imprecise. "Profound understanding of the curriculum" is more specific and formal.
"teachers already expertising" -> "teachers who are already experts"
Explanation: "Expertising" is not a word. "Experts" is the correct term and is more formal.
"study schedules is unlikely to be a hard task" -> "creating study schedules is not a challenging task"
Explanation: "Is unlikely to be a hard task" is informal and awkward. "Is not a challenging task" is more direct and formal.
"any studying problems are ready to be tackled" -> "any academic challenges can be addressed"
Explanation: "Studying problems" is informal and vague. "Academic challenges" is more precise and formal.
"those who are trained carefully to be dedicated teachers" -> "those who have undergone rigorous training to become dedicated teachers"
Explanation: "Those who are trained carefully to be dedicated teachers" is awkward and informal. "Those who have undergone rigorous training to become dedicated teachers" is more formal and precise.
"the effectiveness in teaching transcends any beyond information" -> "the effectiveness of teaching surpasses mere information"
Explanation: "Transcends any beyond information" is awkward and unclear. "Surpasses mere information" is clearer and more formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding the role of teachers in modern education. The first body paragraph discusses the perspective that the abundance of resources diminishes the need for teachers, citing the convenience of online information access for students with busy schedules. The second body paragraph counters this view by emphasizing the importance of teachers in facilitating deep understanding and systematic learning. However, while both views are presented, the discussion could benefit from a more balanced exploration of each side, as the argument in favor of teachers is more developed than the opposing viewpoint.
- How to improve: To enhance the balance, the writer could provide more examples or elaboration on the opposing viewpoint, perhaps discussing potential drawbacks of relying solely on self-study or online resources. Additionally, including a more explicit acknowledgment of the strengths of both perspectives could lead to a more nuanced discussion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, asserting the importance of teachers despite the availability of resources. The writer explicitly states their opinion in the introduction and reiterates it in the conclusion. However, the transition between discussing both views and the writer’s opinion could be smoother, as the shift may feel abrupt to some readers.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and coherence, the writer could use transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument. For instance, after presenting the opposing view, a phrase like "Despite these advantages, I believe…" could help signal the transition to the writer’s own perspective.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas effectively, particularly in the second body paragraph, where the writer explains how teachers can provide systematic learning and tackle study problems. However, the first paragraph could benefit from more depth, as it briefly mentions the convenience of resources without fully exploring the implications of this convenience on learning outcomes.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer could elaborate on the potential consequences of students relying solely on self-study, such as the risk of misinformation or lack of motivation. Providing specific examples or statistics about student performance in self-directed learning versus teacher-led instruction could also enhance the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the role of teachers versus the availability of resources. However, there are moments where the phrasing could be clearer, such as "the importance of teachers in education is overshadowed by the reservoir of materials’s resources," which could be more directly stated to avoid ambiguity.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and clarity, the writer should aim for precise language and avoid convoluted phrases. Simplifying complex sentences and ensuring that each sentence directly contributes to the argument will help keep the essay on topic and enhance readability.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and presents a well-structured argument. With some adjustments to balance the discussion, improve transitions, deepen the support for ideas, and clarify language, the essay could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance, followed by two body paragraphs that discuss opposing views. The first body paragraph addresses the argument against the necessity of teachers, while the second supports the importance of teachers in education. This logical organization helps the reader follow the writer’s argument. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the transition from discussing the advantages of online resources to the importance of teachers could be more explicit to enhance the logical flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer transition phrases that guide the reader through the argument. For instance, after discussing the benefits of online resources, a phrase like "However, despite these advantages…" could better signal the shift to the opposing viewpoint. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea will help reinforce the logical structure.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct viewpoint. The first paragraph discusses the perspective that teachers are becoming less relevant, while the second paragraph argues for the continued importance of teachers. However, the paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more cohesive internal structure. For example, the first body paragraph could start with a stronger topic sentence that directly states the argument against teachers, rather than beginning with a general statement.
- How to improve: Strengthen the topic sentences of each paragraph to clearly indicate the main idea. For example, the first body paragraph could begin with, "Many believe that the rise of online resources diminishes the need for teachers in education." Additionally, ensure that each paragraph contains a logical progression of ideas, with each sentence building on the previous one to enhance clarity.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "on the one hand" and "on the other hand," to differentiate between the two viewpoints. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and ideas could be clearer. For example, the phrase "the same logic can be applied for homeschooling" could be better integrated with a cohesive device that explicitly links it back to the previous point about online resources.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "furthermore," "in addition," or "conversely" to connect ideas more effectively. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to avoid repetition and improve cohesion. For example, instead of repeating "teachers," you could use "educators" or "instructors" in subsequent references.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, focusing on improving transitions, enhancing paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will help elevate the score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, with terms like "reservoir of materials," "prominents drawback," and "self-study." However, the use of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, particularly in phrases like "the role of teachers" and "available information." There are also instances of awkward phrasing, such as "the importance of teachers in education is overshadowed by the reservoir of materials’s resources," which could be simplified for clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeating "role of teachers," alternatives like "function of educators" or "teachers’ contributions" could be used. Additionally, using more sophisticated vocabulary to express ideas, such as "vast array of resources" instead of "wider resources," would elevate the essay’s lexical quality.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "prominents drawback," which should be "prominent drawback." The phrase "reservoir of materials’s resources" is also awkward and unclear. The term "expertising" is incorrect; the intended word is "expertise." These inaccuracies can lead to confusion and detract from the overall clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should ensure that vocabulary is used correctly and appropriately. This includes double-checking the meanings of words and their grammatical forms. For instance, replacing "expertising" with "expertise" or "experts" would clarify the intended meaning. Furthermore, using phrases like "the wealth of information" instead of "reservoir of materials" would enhance clarity and precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "prominents" (should be "prominent") and "adequate knowledge" (the context suggests "adequate information" might be more appropriate). Additionally, "materials’s resources" is incorrect due to the misuse of the possessive form.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as writing exercises that focus on commonly misspelled words and reviewing their work for errors before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can also help identify mistakes that may have been overlooked during the writing process.

By addressing these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource, which will contribute positively to their overall IELTS score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, phrases like "From my perspective, I completely prioritize the role of school in teaching even if the amount of available information is growing rapidly" show an ability to combine ideas effectively. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and sentence construction, such as "the importance of teachers in education is overshadowed by the reservoir of materials’s resources," which could be more clearly articulated. The use of relative clauses and conditional structures is present but could be expanded further.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases and transitions. For example, instead of starting sentences with "On the one hand" or "On the other hand," try using phrases like "Conversely," or "In contrast,". Additionally, practice using more complex structures such as participial phrases or inversion for emphasis. This will enhance the flow and sophistication of your writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For instance, "reservoir of materials’s resources" is incorrect; it should be "reservoir of materials" or "resources." The phrase "a prominents drawback" contains a typographical error; it should be "a prominent drawback." Furthermore, there are missing commas, such as after "In this day and age," and before conjunctions in complex sentences. The use of articles is inconsistent, as seen in "the role of teachers" versus "the teacher status."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, review the rules regarding possessive forms, articles, and subject-verb agreement. Regular practice with grammar exercises can help solidify these concepts. Additionally, proofreading your work for punctuation errors is crucial; consider reading your essay aloud to catch mistakes or using grammar-checking tools. Focusing on these areas will enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.

By addressing these specific areas for improvement, you can work towards achieving a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

In this day and age, a prevailing view in educational circles holds that the importance of teachers in education is overshadowed by the vast array of educational resources available. However, others argue against this perspective. From my standpoint, I strongly advocate for the essential role of teachers in the learning process, even as the amount of information continues to grow rapidly.

On the one hand, opponents of the teacher’s status in modern education often cite a significant drawback. The wider resources of materials, including books, libraries, and the internet, clearly provide advantages for students due to their unrestricted access to information at any time and place. For example, individuals with busy schedules can access sufficient knowledge through online resources without adhering to a traditional school schedule. As a result, these students may discover suitable methods tailored to their own routines. This logic can also be applied to homeschooling, where learners can benefit from the flexibility of self-directed study.

On the other hand, advocates for the preservation of the role of teachers believe that students’ profound understanding of the curriculum cannot be achieved without the guidance of skilled educators. The main reason for this is that teachers, who are already experts in their fields, can teach in a systematic way that enhances children’s learning. For instance, creating study schedules is not a challenging task when compared to self-study, thanks to the effective methods employed by teachers. Ultimately, the process of acquiring knowledge seems to be easier and more effective for learners when any academic challenges can be addressed by those who have undergone rigorous training to become dedicated teachers.

To summarize, although the vast availability of materials offers significant conveniences through the internet or libraries, I reckon that the role of teachers in today’s education cannot be replaced. The effectiveness of teaching surpasses mere information dissemination, highlighting the invaluable contribution of educators in fostering a deeper understanding of the subjects they teach.