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Technological development leads to lots of environmental issues. Some people think a simple life style can preserve environment while others argue that technology itself can solve it. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Technological development leads to lots of environmental issues. Some people think a simple life style can preserve environment while others argue that technology itself can solve it. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Several environmental issues these days are primarily caused by technological development. Therefore, opinion is divergent on whether encouraging a simple style or relying on modern equipments’ solution to tackle these problems. I strongly advocate the statement that lifestyle should be changed to preserve the environment.

On the one hand, it might be said that there are a lot of smart technologies that could supply renewable sources. To illustrate this, the innovations in solar, wind, and hydroelectric facilities provide cleaner alternatives to fossil fuels, helping to mitigate climate change. Additionally, technologies like recycling and waste-to-energy systems can minimize landfill use and reduce pollution, contributing to some vital fields in ecosocial. For the flip side, the disadvantages need to be considered, especially habitat destruction. In other words, the expansion of infrastructure for technological development may lead to habitat loss, and threaten biodiversity.

On the other hand, It is understandable as to why a simple lifestyle could significantly help to protect the environment, one of which is reducing consumption. To be more specific, living simply means consuming less, which can not only reduce the demands for renewable sources but also contribute to decrease the waste. Thus, many urgent contamination and climate change would be tackled easily. Furthermore, if individuals decide to adopt the using sustainable products habit, there would be a greater appreciation for environmental protection due to the recyclable and organic features it brings. Consequently, some argue that this lifestyle could result in imbalancing needs and values, particularly for families or those with specific needs for daily life and essential demands. However, It is believed that by embracing a simple lifestyle, individuals could contribute to a healthier environment and their own life.

To recapitulate, while advanced tools could be a viable solution for solving these urgent issues, changing to a simple lifestyle is a better way to protect the environment from technological involvement’s influences.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Several environmental issues these days" -> "Several contemporary environmental issues"
    Explanation: "Contemporary" is more precise and formal than "these days," which is somewhat colloquial and vague in an academic context.

  2. "opinion is divergent" -> "opinions are diverse"
    Explanation: "Opinions are diverse" is grammatically correct and more natural in English, whereas "opinion is divergent" is awkward and incorrect.

  3. "encouraging a simple style or relying on modern equipments’ solution" -> "promoting a simple lifestyle or utilizing modern equipment solutions"
    Explanation: "Promoting a simple lifestyle" is more specific and appropriate than "encouraging a simple style," and "utilizing modern equipment solutions" corrects the possessive error and enhances formality.

  4. "I strongly advocate the statement" -> "I strongly support the proposition"
    Explanation: "Support the proposition" is more formal and academically appropriate than "advocate the statement," which is less commonly used in formal writing.

  5. "there are a lot of smart technologies" -> "there are numerous advanced technologies"
    Explanation: "Numerous advanced technologies" is more precise and formal than "a lot of smart technologies," which is informal and vague.

  6. "supply renewable sources" -> "provide renewable energy sources"
    Explanation: "Provide renewable energy sources" is more specific and accurate in the context of discussing energy production.

  7. "ecosocial" -> "ecological"
    Explanation: "Ecological" is the correct term for referring to the relationship between humans and the environment, whereas "ecosocial" is not a recognized term.

  8. "habitat destruction" -> "habitat loss"
    Explanation: "Habitat loss" is a more precise and commonly used term in environmental contexts than "habitat destruction."

  9. "the expansion of infrastructure for technological development" -> "the expansion of infrastructure for technological advancements"
    Explanation: "Advancements" is more specific and formal than "development," which is somewhat general.

  10. "It is understandable as to why" -> "It is understandable that"
    Explanation: "It is understandable that" is grammatically correct and more formal than "It is understandable as to why," which is awkward and informal.

  11. "living simply means consuming less" -> "living simply involves consuming less"
    Explanation: "Involves" is more precise and formal than "means," which can be too simplistic for academic writing.

  12. "not only reduce the demands for renewable sources but also contribute to decrease the waste" -> "not only reduce the demand for renewable sources but also contribute to reducing waste"
    Explanation: "Contribute to reducing waste" is grammatically correct and clearer than "contribute to decrease the waste," which is awkward and incorrect.

  13. "many urgent contamination and climate change" -> "many urgent contaminations and climate changes"
    Explanation: "Contaminations" and "climate changes" should be plural to match the plural subject "many."

  14. "the using sustainable products habit" -> "the habit of using sustainable products"
    Explanation: "The habit of using sustainable products" is grammatically correct and clearer than "the using sustainable products habit."

  15. "imbalancing needs and values" -> "imbalance of needs and values"
    Explanation: "Imbalance of needs and values" is grammatically correct and more formal than "imbalancing needs and values."

  16. "technological involvement’s influences" -> "the influences of technological involvement"
    Explanation: "The influences of technological involvement" corrects the possessive error and enhances clarity and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding the impact of technological development on the environment and the potential benefits of a simple lifestyle. The writer discusses the advantages of technology, such as renewable energy sources and recycling systems, while also acknowledging the negative consequences, like habitat destruction. The second half of the essay presents the merits of a simple lifestyle, emphasizing reduced consumption and sustainable practices. However, the introduction could be clearer in explicitly stating that both perspectives will be discussed before presenting the writer’s opinion.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the introduction should clearly outline that the essay will discuss both sides of the argument before presenting the writer’s stance. This can be achieved by rephrasing the thesis statement to explicitly mention that both views will be explored.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position favoring a simple lifestyle as the more effective solution for environmental preservation. This stance is consistently supported throughout the essay, particularly in the conclusion. However, the transition between discussing technology and the simple lifestyle could be smoother to reinforce the writer’s opinion more effectively.
    • How to improve: To improve clarity of position, the writer should use transitional phrases that explicitly link the discussion of technology to the argument for a simple lifestyle. For example, after discussing the advantages of technology, a sentence could be added to transition into the discussion of simplicity, such as, "Despite these technological advancements, the benefits of a simpler lifestyle cannot be overlooked."
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a range of ideas related to both technological solutions and simple living. Each point is generally well-supported with examples, such as the mention of renewable energy technologies and the benefits of reduced consumption. However, some ideas could be further developed. For instance, the discussion on the disadvantages of technology could include more specific examples or statistics to strengthen the argument.
    • How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples or data to support claims. For instance, when discussing the benefits of renewable energy, citing specific statistics about their impact on pollution reduction could add depth to the argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely focused on the topic, discussing both the role of technology and the merits of a simple lifestyle in relation to environmental issues. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly aligned with the prompt. For example, the phrase "urgent contamination and climate change would be tackled easily" is somewhat vague and could be better connected to specific environmental issues.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the prompt. Clarifying vague statements and ensuring that each point ties back to the central theme of environmental preservation will help keep the essay on topic. For instance, instead of saying "urgent contamination," specifying types of pollution (like plastic waste or air pollution) would enhance clarity and relevance.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and presents a well-structured argument. By refining the introduction, enhancing transitions, providing more detailed support for ideas, and ensuring all points are tightly aligned with the topic, the writer could further elevate the quality of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. Each body paragraph discusses one side of the argument, which is a logical way to present contrasting views. For instance, the first body paragraph effectively discusses the benefits of technology in addressing environmental issues, while the second paragraph focuses on the advantages of a simple lifestyle. However, the transition between the two perspectives could be smoother, as the shift from discussing technology to lifestyle feels somewhat abrupt.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect the two sides of the argument. For example, after discussing the benefits of technology, a phrase like "Conversely, it is also important to consider the merits of a simpler lifestyle" can help guide the reader through the argument more seamlessly.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion. The introduction and conclusion are clearly delineated, and the body paragraphs are structured to present one argument at a time. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that directly relate back to the essay prompt.
    • How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph begins with a strong topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea of that paragraph. For instance, the second body paragraph could start with a sentence like, "Advocates of a simple lifestyle argue that reducing consumption is crucial for environmental preservation." This would reinforce the connection to the essay prompt and clarify the focus of the paragraph.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "on the one hand," "for the flip side," and "on the other hand," which help to signal contrasting ideas. However, there are instances where cohesive devices are either overused or misused, such as "one of which is reducing consumption," which could be more clearly stated. Additionally, the phrase "to recapitulate" in the conclusion is somewhat formal and could be replaced with a simpler transition like "In conclusion."
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeating "on the one hand" and "on the other hand," consider using alternatives like "in contrast," "alternatively," or "similarly" where appropriate. This will enhance the essay’s fluidity and make the writing more engaging.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, with clear organization and effective use of paragraphs. By focusing on smoother transitions, clearer topic sentences, and a broader range of cohesive devices, the writer can further improve the clarity and impact of their arguments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms such as "renewable sources," "habitat destruction," "contamination," and "ecosocial." These terms are relevant to the topic and show an understanding of the subject matter. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the phrase "a lot of smart technologies" could be replaced with "numerous advanced technologies" to enhance lexical variety.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate more synonyms and varied expressions throughout the essay. For example, instead of repeating "simple lifestyle," consider using alternatives like "minimalist living" or "sustainable living." This would not only enhance the richness of the vocabulary but also demonstrate a broader lexical range.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, such as "mitigate climate change" and "habitat loss," which effectively convey the intended meaning. However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "the innovations in solar, wind, and hydroelectric facilities provide cleaner alternatives to fossil fuels." The phrase "cleaner alternatives" could be more specific; for instance, "more sustainable energy sources" would clarify the comparison.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that conveys exact meanings. For example, instead of "the expansion of infrastructure for technological development may lead to habitat loss," consider specifying which types of infrastructure (e.g., "urban development" or "industrial expansion") are being referred to. This will help to clarify the argument and strengthen the overall message.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally good level of spelling accuracy, with words like "environment," "technological," and "biodiversity" spelled correctly. However, there are a few errors, such as "equipments’ solution," which should be "equipment’s solution" as "equipment" is an uncountable noun and does not take a plural form.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully or use spell-check tools before submission. Additionally, practicing commonly misspelled words and familiarizing oneself with the correct forms of nouns can help reduce such errors in future writing.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary with some effective usage, there are opportunities for improvement in lexical variety, precision, and spelling accuracy. By incorporating a wider range of vocabulary, ensuring precise word choice, and focusing on spelling, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing and potentially achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "the innovations in solar, wind, and hydroelectric facilities provide cleaner alternatives to fossil fuels" showcases an ability to convey detailed ideas effectively. However, there are areas where the variety could be enhanced. For example, the sentence "It is understandable as to why a simple lifestyle could significantly help to protect the environment" could be rephrased to utilize different structures, such as starting with a participial phrase or using an inversion for emphasis.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases, conditional clauses, and relative clauses. For example, instead of starting sentences with "It is," try using phrases like "One significant advantage of a simple lifestyle is…" or "By adopting a simpler way of living, individuals can…"
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity. For instance, the phrase "modern equipments’ solution" should be corrected to "modern equipment’s solutions" to ensure proper possessive form and pluralization. Additionally, the sentence "the disadvantages need to be considered, especially habitat destruction" lacks a clear subject, which can confuse readers. Punctuation issues are also present, such as the unnecessary capitalization of "It" in "On the other hand, It is understandable," which should be lowercase.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, focus on proofreading for common errors such as subject-verb agreement and possessive forms. Additionally, ensure that punctuation is used correctly to separate clauses and enhance readability. For instance, consider revising sentences to clarify subjects and objects, and consistently check for capitalization rules, especially after transitional phrases.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Several contemporary environmental issues are primarily caused by technological development. Therefore, opinions are diverse on whether promoting a simple lifestyle or utilizing modern equipment solutions is the best approach to tackle these problems. I strongly support the proposition that lifestyle changes should be made to preserve the environment.

On the one hand, it can be argued that there are numerous advanced technologies that could provide renewable energy sources. For instance, innovations in solar, wind, and hydroelectric facilities offer cleaner alternatives to fossil fuels, helping to mitigate climate change. Additionally, technologies such as recycling and waste-to-energy systems can minimize landfill use and reduce pollution, contributing positively to vital ecological fields. However, the disadvantages need to be considered, particularly habitat destruction. In other words, the expansion of infrastructure for technological advancements may lead to habitat loss and threaten biodiversity.

On the other hand, it is understandable that a simple lifestyle could significantly help protect the environment, primarily by reducing consumption. To be more specific, living simply involves consuming less, which can not only reduce the demand for renewable sources but also contribute to decreasing waste. Thus, many urgent contaminations and climate changes could be addressed more effectively. Furthermore, if individuals adopt the habit of using sustainable products, there would be a greater appreciation for environmental protection due to the recyclable and organic features these products offer. Consequently, some argue that this lifestyle could result in an imbalance of needs and values, particularly for families or those with specific daily life requirements. However, it is believed that by embracing a simple lifestyle, individuals could contribute to a healthier environment and improve their own quality of life.

To recapitulate, while advanced tools could be a viable solution for addressing these urgent issues, transitioning to a simple lifestyle is a more effective way to protect the environment from the influences of technological involvement.

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