The bar chart shows the average number of hours students in five different universities studied

The provided bar charts depict how many hours students from five different universities spend studying on weekdays and weekends.
Overall, students across all universities devote more hours to studying. It is also clear that there are noticeable differences in university D's study habits on the weekdays and the weekends.
University C students devote the most time to studying during the week, averaging 10.6 hours of study time; universities B and E had lower figures, at 10.1 and 10, respectively. On weekends, however, the difference disappears. Students at University B report spending 8.6 hours on average studying, while pupils at Universities C and E offer 7.8 and 6.2 hours, respectively.
However, although University A students study for 9.8 hours a day, they only dedicate 9 hours—that is, 9 hours on the weekends—to their studies. University A's figure is the greatest when compared to others during the weekends, although it is lower than on weekdays. Simultaneously, while students at University D spend 9.6 hours per day studying, just 5.6 hours are recorded on weekends, which is the lowest figure compared to other universities.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"students across all universities" -> "students at all universities"
Explanation: "Across" is used for spatial or numerical ranges. In this context, "at" is more appropriate to indicate the location or group of students at each university.
"University C students devote the most time to studying during the week" -> "University C students devote the greatest amount of time to studying during the week"
Explanation: "Most" can be improved to "greatest amount" for a more precise and formal description of the time spent studying.
"students at University B report spending 8.6 hours on average studying" -> "students at University B report an average of 8.6 hours studying"
Explanation: Adding "an average of" clarifies that the figure is an average amount of time spent studying.
"pupils at Universities C and E offer 7.8 and 6.2 hours, respectively" -> "pupils at Universities C and E allocate 7.8 and 6.2 hours, respectively"
Explanation: "Offer" can be replaced with "allocate" to better convey the idea of dedicating time to studying.
"University A students study for 9.8 hours a day, they only dedicate 9 hours—that is, 9 hours on the weekends" -> "University A students study for 9.8 hours a day but only dedicate 9 hours, specifically on the weekends"
Explanation: The sentence structure is clarified by replacing the dashes with "specifically" to indicate that the 9-hour dedication is limited to weekends.
"University A’s figure is the greatest when compared to others during the weekends" -> "University A’s figure is the highest among the universities on weekends"
Explanation: "Greatest" can be replaced with "highest" for a more specific comparison between the figures of different universities.
"while students at University D spend 9.6 hours per day studying, just 5.6 hours are recorded on weekends" -> "while students at University D spend 9.6 hours per day studying, they only spend 5.6 hours on weekends"
Explanation: Replacing "are recorded" with "spend" maintains consistency in describing the time spent studying at University D.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation:
The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of the main trends in the data presented in the bar chart. It effectively highlights key features such as the differences in study hours between weekdays and weekends across the five universities. The information is appropriately selected and presented in a coherent manner.
How to improve:
To enhance the essay to a higher band score, ensure that the response is more fully developed. This could involve providing additional details or analysis to further illustrate the key points presented. Additionally, the essay could benefit from more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to increase clarity and sophistication. Ensure accuracy in data interpretation and avoid any irrelevant information. Overall, aim for a more comprehensive and nuanced exploration of the data to achieve a higher band score.
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Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay logically organizes the information by first providing an overview of the bar charts, then detailing the study habits of each university. There is clear progression throughout the essay, moving from weekdays to weekends and comparing different universities’ study hours. Cohesive devices are used appropriately to connect ideas, such as "overall," "however," "simultaneously," and "although." Each paragraph presents a clear central topic related to the study habits of the universities.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion further, ensure consistent use of cohesive devices throughout the essay. Additionally, consider incorporating more varied transitions to enhance the flow of ideas even more smoothly. Finally, pay attention to paragraphing to ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and transitions logically to the next.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, such as "devote," "pupils," and "noticeable," showing some awareness of style and collocation. Additionally, the essay conveys the information clearly and effectively, utilizing vocabulary appropriate for the task. However, there are some instances where the vocabulary could be more varied and sophisticated to enhance the lexical resource further.

How to improve:
To improve the lexical resource and aim for a higher band score, consider incorporating a wider variety of vocabulary throughout the essay. This could include more sophisticated synonyms, idiomatic expressions, or academic language related to the topic. Additionally, pay attention to word choice and ensure precision in conveying meanings. Avoid repetitive use of words and strive for fluency in expression. Finally, proofreading for any errors in word choice, spelling, or word formation can help enhance the overall lexical quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures, such as subordinate clauses and comparisons, which contribute to coherence and cohesion. There is evident control of grammar and punctuation, with frequent error-free sentences. However, there are a few minor errors present, such as inconsistency in tense usage ("University C students devote" should be "University C students devoted"). Despite these minor errors, the overall grammatical accuracy is high, allowing for clear communication.

How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy further, proofreading for tense consistency and minor errors would be beneficial. Additionally, ensuring consistency in academic tone and vocabulary usage throughout the essay can contribute to a more polished piece of writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided bar charts illustrate the average study hours of students from five different universities on both weekdays and weekends.

Overall, students across all universities exhibit a strong commitment to their studies. Notably, there are significant variations in the study patterns of University D students between weekdays and weekends.

During the weekdays, students at University C allocate the highest amount of time to studying, with an average of 10.6 hours. In contrast, University B and University E students have lower figures, at 10.1 and 10 hours, respectively. On weekends, however, these differences diminish. University B students spend an average of 8.6 hours studying, while students at Universities C and E devote 7.8 and 6.2 hours, respectively.

University A students dedicate 9.8 hours to studying on weekdays, but this decreases slightly to 9 hours on weekends. Despite this reduction, University A still records the highest weekend study hours among the universities. Conversely, students at University D spend 9.6 hours studying on weekdays, but this drops to 5.6 hours on weekends, the lowest figure among the universities.