The bar chart shows the percentage of people in the United Kingdom per age group without any qualifications. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the percentage of population in the United Kingdom each age group without any qualifications.
Looking at the chart, there is a differeces from young people and elderly people in there. There are many older people, but there are a few people in 2009.
The most population is in age 50-59/64 group approximately 37%. In this age group, people are women about 20% and more than men about 3%. Beside, the age group has least population is 17-19 about 13% in 2009 and 8% of this is a men. There is a big difference between the group because the age 17-19 is as second as age 50-59/64 population.
In addition, in the bar chart there are the same population between age group 25-29 and 30-39. Surprisingly, the men and women in two groups is about 16%. This is the same. Beside, the second population is 40-49 group about a quarter with the men approximately 13%. Finally, the age 20-24 group has nearly least people in UK with population of 15%. In this group, men possess about 7%.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"differeces" -> "differences"
Explanation: "Differeces" is a typographical error. Correcting it to "differences" ensures the proper spelling and maintains the formal tone of the academic essay.
"there is a differeces from young people and elderly people in there" -> "there is a difference between young and elderly populations"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The suggested revision clarifies the meaning and corrects the grammatical structure, enhancing readability and formality.
"Beside" -> "Additionally"
Explanation: "Beside" is incorrect in this context as it is typically used to indicate a location or proximity. "Additionally" is more appropriate for introducing supplementary information in formal writing.
"least population is" -> "least populated group is"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and vague. "Least populated group" is grammatically correct and provides a clearer description of the data being discussed.
"as second as age 50-59/64 population" -> "similar to the population of the 50-59/64 age group"
Explanation: The original phrase is unclear and grammatically incorrect. The suggested revision clarifies the comparison and maintains formal academic tone.
"Surprisingly, the men and women in two groups is about 16%" -> "Interestingly, the populations of both groups are approximately 16%"
Explanation: "Surprisingly" is somewhat informal for academic writing; "interestingly" is more neutral and suitable. Also, "men and women in two groups is" should be "populations of both groups are" to correct the grammatical number and verb agreement.
"Beside, the second population is 40-49 group about a quarter" -> "Furthermore, the 40-49 age group accounts for approximately a quarter"
Explanation: "Beside" is again incorrect for this context; "furthermore" is the correct transitional phrase. The revision also clarifies the meaning and enhances the formal tone.
"Finally, the age 20-24 group has nearly least people in UK" -> "Finally, the 20-24 age group has the smallest population in the UK"
Explanation: "Nearly least people" is awkward and incorrect. "The smallest population" is grammatically correct and more precise.
"In this group, men possess about 7%" -> "In this group, men comprise approximately 7%"
Explanation: "Possess" is not the correct term for describing demographic data; "comprise" is more appropriate for describing the proportion of men in the group.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task by identifying some key features of the chart. However, the overview is not clear and the essay recounts detail mechanically with no clear overview. The essay also presents some inaccurate information, such as stating that the age group 25-29 and 30-39 have the same population.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the chart. The writer should also focus on presenting accurate information and avoid making irrelevant or inaccurate statements. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language and avoiding informal language. For example, instead of saying "there is a big difference," the writer could say "there is a significant difference."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay presents information and ideas, but they are not arranged coherently, and there is no clear progression in the response. The use of cohesive devices is basic and often inaccurate, leading to confusion in understanding the relationships between ideas. The paragraphing is inconsistent, with some sentences lacking logical connections, which detracts from the overall clarity of the essay.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on organizing ideas logically, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic. Utilizing a wider range of cohesive devices correctly will help clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, improving the accuracy of data representation and ensuring that comparisons are clearly articulated will strengthen the overall progression of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey information from the bar chart, the word choice is often imprecise and repetitive. There are noticeable errors in spelling and word formation, such as "differeces" and "possess," which may cause some difficulty for the reader. The use of basic vocabulary does not effectively convey the nuances of the data presented in the chart, and the overall structure lacks clarity and coherence.
How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to expand their vocabulary by incorporating a wider range of synonyms and more precise terms related to the topic. Additionally, practicing the correct spelling and formation of words is essential. The writer should also work on varying sentence structures and using more sophisticated vocabulary to enhance clarity and expressiveness. Finally, ensuring that comparisons and contrasts are clearly articulated will help in conveying the information more effectively.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures and attempts to use complex sentences, but these attempts often lack accuracy. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ("there is a differeces"), incorrect prepositions ("in there"), and awkward phrasing ("the most population is in age 50-59/64 group"). While the meaning is generally understandable, the errors can cause some difficulty for the reader. The punctuation is also inconsistent, which further affects clarity. Overall, the essay meets the criteria for Band 5 due to its limited range and frequent errors.
How to improve: To enhance grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following:

Practice using a wider variety of sentence structures, including more complex sentences with appropriate clauses.
Review subject-verb agreement and ensure that singular and plural forms are used correctly.
Work on clarity and coherence by using more precise vocabulary and avoiding awkward phrasing.
Proofread for punctuation errors and ensure that sentences are correctly punctuated to improve readability.
Seek feedback from peers or instructors to identify specific areas of grammatical weakness and address them through targeted practice.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar chart shows the percentage of the population in the United Kingdom in each age group without any qualifications.

Looking at the chart, there are differences between young people and elderly people. There are many older individuals, while there are fewer people in 2009. The largest percentage of the population is in the age group 50-59/64, at approximately 37%. In this age group, the number of women is about 20%, which is more than the number of men by about 3%. Conversely, the age group with the least population is 17-19, with around 13% in 2009, of which 8% are men. There is a significant difference between these groups, as the age 17-19 group is second to the age 50-59/64 group in terms of population.

In addition, the bar chart indicates that the populations of the age groups 25-29 and 30-39 are the same, with both men and women in these groups at about 16%. This is identical. Furthermore, the next largest population is in the 40-49 age group, which is about a quarter, with men making up approximately 13%. Finally, the age 20-24 group has nearly the least number of people in the UK, with a population of 15%. In this group, men account for about 7%.