the best way to solve the world's environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people hold the belief that increasing the fuel price is the best measure to confront the global environmental problems. While this idea could somehow reduce the amount of harmful fumes, I maintain that changes in people's awareness and the switch to renewables sources are the most feasible options.
On the one hand this approach could help to reduce the emissions form private vehicles which make a great contribution to the air pollution. An increase in the cost of fuel serves as a deterrent to the excessive car usage and promote the greener public transportation alternatives such as buses and electric bikes. America is a good examples in this case. Since 2010, hybrid vehicles and smaller transports have had a growing market as a consequence of rising fuel prices. This solution, therefore, can cut down on the total amount of noxious fumes in a city.
On the other hand, rising the cost of fuel can not fully tackle the problems of environment. In fact, the causes of pollution are diverse involving emissions from livestock farming and industries, and the use of plastic bags in shopping. As a result, running a world-wide campaign to raise awareness within people and companies is essential to protect the environment. Beside, promoting clean energy sources such as wild, solar and nuclear is also effective in dealing with environmental problems as they don't produce much greenhouse gas. Some countries applied this method successfully, so countries all over the world should adopt and make full use of it.
In conclusion, though increasing the fuel price is a good solution to discourage the use of private car, the ideal measure would be raising the awareness and boosting the clean energy usage.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Many people hold the belief" -> "Numerous individuals believe"
Explanation: Replacing "Many people hold the belief" with "Numerous individuals believe" streamlines the sentence while maintaining a formal tone.
"could somehow reduce" -> "might potentially reduce"
Explanation: "Could somehow reduce" sounds vague and informal; "might potentially reduce" is more precise and academically formal.
"the switch to renewables sources" -> "the transition to renewable energy sources"
Explanation: "The switch to renewables sources" is informal and lacks specificity. "The transition to renewable energy sources" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing.
"make a great contribution to" -> "significantly contribute to"
Explanation: "Make a great contribution to" is less formal and can be replaced with "significantly contribute to" for a more academic tone.
"America is a good examples" -> "The United States serves as a notable example"
Explanation: "America is a good examples" is incorrect in number agreement and too informal. "The United States serves as a notable example" corrects these issues and enhances formality.
"cut down on" -> "reduce"
Explanation: "Cut down on" is idiomatic and less formal. "Reduce" is more appropriate for an academic context.
"rising the cost of fuel" -> "increasing fuel prices"
Explanation: "Rising the cost of fuel" is grammatically awkward and less formal. "Increasing fuel prices" is clearer and more suitable for academic writing.
"can not" -> "cannot"
Explanation: "Can not" should be written as one word, "cannot," for formal writing.
"running a world-wide campaign" -> "conducting a global campaign"
Explanation: "Running" is too informal for this context, and "world-wide" should be "worldwide." "Conducting a global campaign" is more formal and correct.
"Beside" -> "Moreover,"
Explanation: "Beside" is incorrect in this context and too informal. "Moreover," introduces the additional point more appropriately in academic writing.
"wild, solar and nuclear" -> "wind, solar, and nuclear"
Explanation: "Wild" is a typo and should be "wind." Additionally, adding the Oxford comma after "solar" improves clarity and aligns with formal writing standards.
"don’t produce much greenhouse gas" -> "do not produce significant greenhouse gases"
Explanation: "Don’t" is a contraction, which is inappropriate for formal writing. "Do not produce significant greenhouse gases" is more precise and academically suitable.
"Some countries applied this method successfully," -> "Several countries have successfully implemented this method,"
Explanation: "Some countries applied" is vague and lacks the formal structure of past perfect tense. "Several countries have successfully implemented" is more precise and formal.
"so countries all over the world should adopt and make full use of it." -> "thus, it is advisable for nations worldwide to adopt and fully utilize this approach."
Explanation: "So" is too informal for a conclusion in academic writing. "Thus, it is advisable for nations worldwide to adopt and fully utilize this approach" is more formal and provides a stronger recommendation.
"though increasing the fuel price is a good solution" -> "although raising fuel prices represents a viable solution"
Explanation: "Though" is less formal than "although," and "increasing the fuel price" can be more accurately described as "raising fuel prices." "Represents a viable solution" adds formality and precision.
"the ideal measure would be raising the awareness and boosting the clean energy usage." -> "the optimal strategy entails enhancing awareness and promoting the use of clean energy."
Explanation: "The ideal measure would be" is less formal and less precise. "The optimal strategy entails enhancing awareness and promoting the use of clean energy" provides a clearer and more formal conclusion.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both sides of the argument presented in the prompt. It discusses the potential benefits of increasing fuel prices to reduce emissions from private vehicles and promote alternative modes of transportation. Additionally, it acknowledges the limitations of this approach by recognizing other sources of pollution and advocating for broader measures like raising awareness and promoting clean energy sources.
- How to improve: While the essay adequately covers both perspectives, it could strengthen its argument by providing more specific examples or data to support its points. Additionally, ensuring a clearer connection between the proposed solutions and the prompt question would enhance coherence.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay takes a clear stance against the idea that increasing fuel prices is the best solution to environmental problems. It consistently argues for the importance of raising awareness and transitioning to cleaner energy sources.
- How to improve: To further enhance clarity, the essay could explicitly state its position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. This would reinforce the coherence of the argument and make the author’s perspective unmistakable to the reader.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and elaborates on its ideas adequately. It provides examples, such as the case of hybrid vehicles in America, to support its arguments. However, some points lack depth, particularly regarding the promotion of clean energy sources.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, the author could provide more comprehensive explanations of how promoting clean energy sources would address environmental issues. Including specific examples of successful implementation and potential benefits would bolster the argument’s credibility.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the proposed solution of increasing fuel costs in relation to addressing environmental problems. However, it briefly touches on other sources of pollution without fully connecting them back to the central argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that all points raised are directly relevant to the prompt question. If discussing other sources of pollution, they should explicitly tie these discussions back to the effectiveness of increasing fuel costs as a solution. This will prevent the essay from veering off topic and maintain coherence.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the prompt and presents a well-structured argument. By providing more specific examples, reinforcing its stance, expanding on ideas, and maintaining tighter focus, the essay could further strengthen its effectiveness and clarity.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear organizational structure with distinct paragraphs addressing different aspects of the argument. The introduction sets up the debate effectively, presenting the writer’s stance. Body paragraphs are logically developed, with each one focusing on a particular aspect of the argument – the benefits of increasing fuel prices and the limitations of this approach. Finally, the conclusion neatly summarizes the argument and reiterates the writer’s position. However, there could be a smoother transition between paragraphs, particularly between the second and third paragraphs where the shift from discussing the benefits to the limitations of increasing fuel prices feels slightly abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that there is a clear transition between paragraphs to maintain the coherence of the essay. Consider using transitional phrases or sentences to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to structure the argument. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, including the introduction, two body paragraphs presenting arguments for and against increasing fuel prices, and a conclusion. However, while the paragraphs are logically structured, there is room for improvement in terms of paragraph length and development. The third paragraph, discussing the limitations of increasing fuel prices, could be expanded further to provide additional supporting evidence or examples.
- How to improve: Aim for balanced paragraph lengths and ensure that each paragraph is fully developed with sufficient explanation and examples. Consider expanding on ideas presented in each paragraph to strengthen the argument and provide more comprehensive support for the writer’s position.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices to connect ideas and enhance coherence. Examples include transition words and phrases such as "on the one hand," "on the other hand," "in conclusion," and "besides," which help to signal shifts between different parts of the argument. Additionally, pronouns like "this approach" and "these solutions" are used to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, contributing to cohesion. However, there is limited variety in cohesive devices, and the essay could benefit from incorporating a wider range of connectors and transitional expressions.
- How to improve: Expand the repertoire of cohesive devices used in the essay to include a broader range of connectors, pronouns, conjunctions, and transitional phrases. This will help to create smoother transitions between ideas and strengthen the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, pay attention to the placement of cohesive devices to ensure they effectively link ideas within and between sentences.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, showcasing the writer’s ability to express ideas effectively. For instance, phrases such as "confront the global environmental problems," "noxious fumes," "world-wide campaign," and "clean energy sources" contribute to the lexical diversity. Additionally, the essay incorporates various synonyms and related terms, enhancing clarity and richness of expression.
- How to improve: While the essay already exhibits a good vocabulary range, further diversification could be achieved by integrating more nuanced or specialized terms related to environmental issues. This could involve incorporating specific terminology related to sustainable development, climate science, or environmental policy where applicable. For example, instead of repeatedly using "environmental problems," the writer could employ terms like "ecological challenges" or "environmental degradation" to add depth to the discussion.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with reasonable precision, effectively conveying the intended meaning. For instance, phrases like "rising fuel prices," "noxious fumes," and "clean energy sources" are aptly chosen and contribute to the clarity of the writer’s arguments. However, there are a few instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For example, the phrase "wild, solar, and nuclear" may benefit from clarification, as "wild" energy might be interpreted ambiguously.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, it’s advisable to ensure that terms are used accurately and contextually. Additionally, providing specific examples or definitions where necessary can help avoid ambiguity. For instance, instead of "wild energy," specifying "wind energy" could eliminate potential confusion. Moreover, incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic, such as technical terms in renewable energy or environmental science, can elevate the precision of expression.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally accurate spelling throughout, contributing to the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. Spelling errors are minimal, with most words spelled correctly. However, there are a few instances where minor errors occur, such as "Beside" instead of "Besides." Overall, the level of spelling accuracy is consistent with the expected standard.
- How to improve: To further enhance spelling accuracy, proofreading techniques such as careful review of written work and utilization of spelling and grammar check tools can be beneficial. Additionally, practicing spelling through activities like word games or vocabulary exercises can help reinforce correct spelling patterns. Maintaining vigilance during the writing process to identify and correct errors promptly can also contribute to improved spelling proficiency.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of sentence structures, including compound and complex sentences. For instance, the essay employs compound sentences like "While this idea could somehow reduce the amount of harmful fumes, I maintain that changes in people’s awareness and the switch to renewables sources are the most feasible options." Additionally, complex sentences are utilized, such as "An increase in the cost of fuel serves as a deterrent to the excessive car usage and promote the greener public transportation alternatives such as buses and electric bikes." These structures enhance the readability and coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider integrating more complex structures, such as conditional sentences (e.g., "If governments were to implement stricter regulations on emissions, significant progress could be achieved."). Additionally, varying the length and complexity of sentences can add richness to the essay’s prose.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates grammatical accuracy, with few errors impacting comprehension. For instance, the essay correctly uses subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and pronoun-antecedent agreement. However, there are some minor issues, such as the incorrect use of "running" in the sentence "As a result, running a world-wide campaign to raise awareness within people and companies is essential to protect the environment." Here, the gerund "running" lacks clarity and could be revised for better grammatical accuracy.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, carefully review sentence structures for agreement errors, verb tense consistency, and appropriate word choice. Additionally, consider revising ambiguous or awkward phrasings for clarity. Proofreading the essay thoroughly can help identify and correct any remaining grammatical errors.

Bài sửa mẫu

Many individuals believe that raising fuel prices might potentially reduce global environmental issues. While this notion might deter excessive vehicle usage and promote greener transportation alternatives, I argue that changes in awareness and transitioning to renewable energy sources are more practical solutions.

On one hand, increasing fuel costs could help diminish emissions from private vehicles, which significantly contribute to air pollution. This strategy acts as a deterrent to excessive car usage and encourages the adoption of greener transportation alternatives like buses and electric bikes. The United States serves as a notable example in this regard. Since 2010, hybrid vehicles and smaller transports have gained popularity due to escalating fuel prices, thereby reducing the overall emission levels in urban areas.

On the other hand, simply raising fuel prices cannot fully address environmental issues. Pollution stems from various sources, including emissions from livestock farming and industries, as well as the widespread use of plastic bags in shopping. Therefore, conducting a global campaign to raise awareness among individuals and businesses is crucial for environmental protection. Moreover, promoting clean energy sources such as wind, solar, and nuclear power is effective since they do not produce significant greenhouse gases. Several countries have successfully implemented this method, thus it is advisable for nations worldwide to adopt and fully utilize this approach.

In conclusion, while increasing fuel prices may discourage private car usage, the optimal strategy entails enhancing awareness and promoting the use of clean energy. By addressing the root causes of pollution and transitioning to renewable energy sources, we can effectively combat environmental challenges on a global scale.

the best way to solve the world’s environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree?