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The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Troubling environmental problems have required nations to come up with sufficient solutions. Among them, many people have accepted that raising taxes on fuels is the preferred choice to tackle environmental problems. From my point of view, although making fuels more expensive would ostensibly create a strong incentive to environment protection, this policy is far from being the best way and there are other more efficacious measures.
On the one hand, raising cost of fossil fuels makes some effective impacts on the protection of environment and humans' life. It is common knowledge that cars and other means running on fossil fuel release exhaust fume that causes global warming as well as exacerbates existing air pollution. Some rapidly-industrialising countries such as China have suffered serious consequences of these climate change, when the air is so polluted that residents even wear masks for the most part but have ability to face respiratory problems. Therefore, if raising cost of fuel is supplemented, the means powering up private cars are unaffordable, which force to resort to public transportation alternatives. As a result, people could alleviate the carbon footprint and spend more effort on restoring pollution damage. It may be essential that the governments should levy a hight tax on fuel .
However, the expensive cost for fossil fuels can be counterproductive and I believe that the authorities should apply other methods to reduce harmful emissions. When the price of petrol has increased dramatically, this would negatively impact the economy of nations. The more the expense have soared, the more expensive the transportation could be, which causes enormous hindrance to economic activity and freight transportation. This exactly engender resentment among the families who cannot pay for their goods and have unwillingness to switch to other sources at once. In addition, human should focus on better measures such as encouraging using renewable source of energy, investing in projects that produce environmental solutions. It is believed that the power of technology combined with professors could suggest clear solutions and answer to many issues plaguing the environment without making detrimental shift to the economy as previously described.

In conclusion, increasing fuel costs brings some benefits to human, but this way would do more harm than good and giving priority to other usefully environmental measures. Hopefully, the governments have to implement better alternatives to preserve our Earth for the sake of future generation.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the effectiveness of increasing fuel costs as a solution to environmental problems. The author presents both sides of the argument, acknowledging that while raising fuel prices could incentivize environmental protection, it is not the best solution. The essay effectively outlines the potential benefits and drawbacks of this approach, fulfilling the requirement to explore the extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement. However, the analysis could be more balanced, as the discussion on the negative impacts of increased fuel costs is somewhat underdeveloped compared to the potential benefits.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should ensure that both sides of the argument are equally developed. This could involve providing more specific examples or statistics that illustrate the negative economic impacts of increased fuel costs, as well as discussing other viable solutions in greater detail.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that increasing fuel costs is not the best solution to environmental problems. This stance is maintained throughout the essay, with the author consistently arguing against the effectiveness of this measure while suggesting alternative solutions. However, the phrasing in some sections, such as "this policy is far from being the best way," could be made more assertive to reinforce the author’s position.
    • How to improve: The author could strengthen their position by using more definitive language and explicitly stating their stance in the introduction and conclusion. Additionally, reiterating the main argument in the conclusion would help to reinforce the clarity of the position taken.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the topic, such as the impact of fossil fuel consumption on air pollution and the potential economic consequences of raising fuel prices. However, some ideas are not fully developed or supported with concrete examples. For instance, while the author mentions the use of public transportation as a potential benefit of increased fuel costs, they do not elaborate on how this transition could be facilitated or the challenges that might arise.
    • How to improve: To improve the development and support of ideas, the author should provide specific examples or case studies that illustrate their points. For instance, discussing successful public transportation initiatives in cities that have implemented fuel taxes could strengthen the argument. Additionally, expanding on alternative solutions with examples of successful renewable energy projects would provide a more comprehensive view.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the question of whether increasing fuel costs is an effective solution to environmental problems. However, there are moments where the discussion veers slightly off-topic, particularly in the latter part of the essay where the author introduces the role of technology and professors without clearly linking it back to the main argument.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the central argument regarding fuel costs. It would be beneficial to clearly connect the discussion of technology and renewable energy solutions to the overarching theme of the essay, perhaps by explaining how these alternatives could complement or replace the need for increased fuel costs.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument. With improvements in balance, clarity, support, and focus, the author could enhance their score in the Task Response category.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively outlines the writer’s position, while the body paragraphs discuss both sides of the argument. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits of raising fuel costs to the drawbacks is somewhat abrupt. The first body paragraph focuses on the positive impacts, but the shift to the negative impacts in the second paragraph lacks a clear transition, which can confuse readers about the relationship between the two points.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases or sentences that explicitly connect the ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the benefits of raising fuel costs, a sentence like "However, this approach is not without its drawbacks" could provide a smoother transition to the subsequent paragraph.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The first paragraph discusses the benefits of increasing fuel costs, while the second addresses the potential negative consequences. However, the paragraphs could be more effectively structured. The first body paragraph contains multiple ideas that could be better organized into separate sentences for clarity. Additionally, the conclusion, while summarizing the main points, could be more concise and directly related to the arguments presented.
    • How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. Additionally, consider breaking down complex sentences into simpler ones to enhance readability. For the conclusion, focus on summarizing the key arguments succinctly and reiterating the main stance clearly.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "However," which help to signal contrasting ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some phrases are used repetitively. For instance, the phrase "the expensive cost for fossil fuels" could be varied to avoid redundancy. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices within sentences could be improved; some sentences feel disjointed due to a lack of linking words.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "In addition," "Conversely," and "Consequently." This will help to create a more fluid reading experience. Additionally, ensure that each sentence flows logically into the next by using cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between sentences. For example, instead of starting a new sentence abruptly, you could use phrases like "This leads to…" or "As a result…" to create smoother transitions.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance clarity and coherence, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of environmental issues and fuel costs. Terms such as "exhaust fume," "rapidly-industrialising," and "carbon footprint" indicate a solid understanding of the subject matter. However, there are instances of repetition, such as the use of "expensive" and "cost" in close proximity, which could be varied to enhance lexical diversity.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and related terms to avoid redundancy. For example, instead of repeatedly using "cost," alternatives like "price," "expense," or "financial burden" could be employed. Additionally, introducing more advanced vocabulary, such as "escalate" instead of "increase," could elevate the essay further.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: While the essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, there are moments of imprecision. For instance, the phrase "the means powering up private cars are unaffordable" could be clearer. The term "powering up" is somewhat informal and vague in this context. Similarly, "hight tax" is a typographical error that detracts from clarity.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using more formal and specific language. Instead of "powering up," a more precise phrase could be "operating." Additionally, ensuring correct spelling, such as changing "hight" to "high," is crucial for clarity. Regularly consulting a thesaurus or using vocabulary exercises can help refine word choice.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors that affect its overall professionalism. The misspelling of "hight" as "high" is one example, and the phrase "the governments have to implement better alternatives" should read "the government has to implement better alternatives," as "government" is typically treated as a singular collective noun in this context.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or flashcards can reinforce correct spelling habits.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a commendable level of lexical resource with a score of 7, there are clear areas for improvement. By expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and ensuring correct spelling, the writer can elevate their lexical resource score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For example, the use of phrases like "Although making fuels more expensive would ostensibly create a strong incentive to environment protection" showcases the ability to construct complex ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the second paragraph where similar sentence beginnings are used, such as "It is common knowledge that…" and "Some rapidly-industrialising countries such as…". This limits the variety and can make the writing feel monotonous.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more introductory phrases or clauses. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with "It is common knowledge that…", the writer could use alternatives like "Many experts agree that…" or "Research indicates that…". Additionally, varying the length of sentences can create a more engaging rhythm in the writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, the phrase "the means powering up private cars are unaffordable" is awkwardly constructed and could be clearer as "the means of powering private cars become unaffordable." Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as the missing comma in "this way would do more harm than good and giving priority to other usefully environmental measures," which should read "this way would do more harm than good, and giving priority to other useful environmental measures."
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. A thorough proofreading process can help identify awkward phrases and punctuation errors. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can also aid in catching mistakes. Furthermore, practicing writing complex sentences with clear subjects and verbs can enhance overall grammatical precision.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a commendable range of structures and some effective ideas, addressing the identified weaknesses in sentence variety and grammatical accuracy will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Troubling environmental problems have required nations to come up with sufficient solutions. Among them, many people have accepted that raising taxes on fuels is the preferred choice to tackle environmental issues. From my point of view, although making fuels more expensive would ostensibly create a strong incentive for environmental protection, this policy is far from being the best way, and there are other more effective measures.

On the one hand, raising the cost of fossil fuels has some effective impacts on the protection of the environment and human life. It is common knowledge that cars and other means of transport running on fossil fuel release exhaust fumes that cause global warming and exacerbate existing air pollution. Some rapidly industrializing countries, such as China, have suffered serious consequences of climate change, where the air is so polluted that residents often wear masks and face respiratory problems. Therefore, if the cost of fuel is raised, the means of powering private cars will become unaffordable, which forces people to resort to public transportation alternatives. As a result, individuals could alleviate their carbon footprint and spend more effort on restoring pollution damage. It may be essential for governments to levy a high tax on fuel.

However, the expensive cost of fossil fuels can be counterproductive, and I believe that the authorities should apply other methods to reduce harmful emissions. When the price of petrol increases dramatically, it negatively impacts the economies of nations. The more expenses soar, the more expensive transportation becomes, which causes enormous hindrances to economic activity and freight transportation. This engenders resentment among families who cannot afford their goods and are unwilling to switch to other sources immediately. In addition, we should focus on better measures, such as encouraging the use of renewable sources of energy and investing in projects that produce environmental solutions. It is believed that the power of technology combined with experts could suggest clear solutions and answers to many issues plaguing the environment without making detrimental shifts to the economy, as previously described.

In conclusion, increasing fuel costs brings some benefits to humanity, but this approach would do more harm than good, and we should give priority to other useful environmental measures. Hopefully, governments will implement better alternatives to preserve our Earth for the sake of future generations.

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