the chart below shows information about the problems people have when they go to live in other countries. Summerise the information by seecting reporting and the main features and make comparisions where relevant

the chart below shows information about the problems people have when they go to live in other countries.
Summerise the information by seecting reporting and the main features and make comparisions where relevant

The bar chart gives information about accommodation issues from living abroad by several ages.
Overall, what is notable from the chart is that while predominant sorting out healthcare throughout the period, the opposite was true for academic problems besides sorting out income hold the general statistic.
Lack of fitness and medical which typically the main issues for youngsters, adults and oldsters in addition stand at the highest around 30 proportions. Teenagers and elders who do not have to find a school or university as a result hit the bottom of the bar chart despite people age 35 to 54 grow sharply at approximately 20 percentage who have to find a school or college for their children. Income problem witessed a same trend for youngsters and adults which around one fourth proportion despite elder people do not have to face this problem too much therefore accounted for 30 percentage.

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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "The bar chart gives information about accommodation issues from living abroad by several ages." -> "The bar chart illustrates various accommodation issues experienced by individuals of different ages while living abroad."
   Explanation: The original phrase "accommodation issues from living abroad by several ages" is awkward and unclear. The revised version clarifies the subject matter and the scope of the chart, enhancing the academic tone.

2. "what is notable from the chart is that" -> "it is evident from the chart that"
   Explanation: "what is notable" is somewhat informal and vague. "It is evident" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.

3. "predominant sorting out healthcare" -> "the predominant concern is healthcare"
   Explanation: "Sorting out healthcare" is an incorrect and unclear phrase. "The predominant concern is healthcare" correctly identifies the main issue discussed in the chart.

4. "besides sorting out income hold the general statistic" -> "while healthcare issues dominate, income issues are the second most prevalent concern"
   Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The suggested revision clarifies the comparison and corrects the grammatical structure.

5. "Lack of fitness and medical which typically the main issues" -> "Lack of fitness and medical issues, which are typically the primary concerns"
   Explanation: The original phrase lacks a verb and is grammatically incorrect. The revision corrects these issues and uses more formal language.

6. "typically the main issues for youngsters, adults and oldsters" -> "typically the primary concerns for youth, adults, and the elderly"
   Explanation: "Youngsters" and "oldsters" are informal and less precise. "Youth, adults, and the elderly" are more formal and appropriate for academic writing.

7. "in addition stand at the highest around 30 proportions" -> "in addition, account for approximately 30% of the total"
   Explanation: "Stand at the highest around 30 proportions" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revision corrects the grammar and clarifies the meaning.

8. "Teenagers and elders who do not have to find a school or university as a result hit the bottom of the bar chart" -> "Teenagers and the elderly, who do not need to find schools or universities, are at the lowest level on the bar chart"
   Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and informal. The revision is clearer and maintains a formal tone.

9. "despite people age 35 to 54 grow sharply at approximately 20 percentage" -> "despite those aged 35-54 experiencing a significant increase of around 20%"
   Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revision corrects these issues and uses more precise language.

10. "Income problem witessed a same trend for youngsters and adults which around one fourth proportion" -> "Income problems exhibit a similar trend for youth and adults, with around one-quarter of the population affected"
    Explanation: "Witessed" is a typographical error, and "which around one fourth proportion" is grammatically incorrect. The revision corrects these errors and improves clarity and formality.

11. "despite elder people do not have to face this problem too much therefore accounted for 30 percentage" -> "although older individuals do not face this problem extensively, it still affects 30% of the population"
    Explanation: The original sentence is awkward and grammatically incorrect. The revision corrects these issues and clarifies the meaning.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task but does not cover all key features/bullet points. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends in the data. The essay also confuses key features/bullet points with detail. For example, the essay states that "lack of fitness and medical which typically the main issues for youngsters, adults and oldsters in addition stand at the highest around 30 proportions." This is not a key feature of the data. The essay also does not make comparisons where relevant.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clear overview of the main trends in the data. The essay should also focus on presenting the key features of the data, rather than providing irrelevant details. The essay should also make comparisons where relevant. For example, the essay could compare the percentage of people who have problems sorting out finances to the percentage of people who have problems sorting out healthcare.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng:

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng:

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng:

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