The chart below shows the number of different kinds of vehicles registered in Europe from 1996 to 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart illustrates the number of different means of transport registered in Europe between 1996 and 2006.

Overall, there were significant changes in vehicle registration over the 10-year period, except for bus, coach, and taxi. It is also clear that private cars were by far the most in use by Europeans among the vehicle types examined.

In 1996, 19 million private cars were bought by Europeans, compared to modest figures for motorcycles, lorries, and bus, coach, taxi at 1, 0.5, and 0.1 million, respectively. Meanwhile, the number of other types used in Europe was 4.5 million that year.

Over the next 10 years, the figure for private cars consistently dominated other types at 24 million after rising by 26.32%. However, the most significant change was observed in the number of unidentified vehicles, at 58.38%. While the number of motorcycles and lorries in use decreased considerably by 40% and 20% respectively, that for bus, coach, and taxi remained unchanged.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The bar chart illustrates" -> "The bar chart depicts"
Explanation: "Depicts" is a more formal and precise term than "illustrates" in the context of presenting data in a visual format like a bar chart, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"registered in Europe" -> "registered in European countries"
Explanation: Specifying "European countries" provides a clearer geographical context, which is more precise and appropriate for academic writing.
"significant changes" -> "substantial changes"
Explanation: "Substantial" is a more formal synonym for "significant" and is commonly used in academic contexts to describe notable variations.
"by far the most in use" -> "by far the most widely used"
Explanation: "Widely used" is a more formal and precise phrase than "in use," which sounds somewhat informal and vague in this context.
"modest figures" -> "relatively low numbers"
Explanation: "Relatively low numbers" is more specific and formal, better suited for academic writing than the colloquial "modest figures."
"bought by Europeans" -> "purchased by European residents"
Explanation: "Purchased by European residents" is more specific and formal, improving the clarity and formality of the sentence.
"the number of other types used in Europe was" -> "the number of other types in use in Europe was"
Explanation: Adding "in use" clarifies that the 4.5 million refers to the number of vehicles in use, enhancing the precision of the statement.
"consistently dominated" -> "persistently dominated"
Explanation: "Persistently" conveys a sense of continuous dominance over time, which is more precise and formal than "consistently."
"rose by 26.32%" -> "increased by 26.32%"
Explanation: "Increased" is more commonly used in formal academic writing to describe changes in quantity, making it a more appropriate choice than "rose."
"the most significant change was observed" -> "the most notable change occurred"
Explanation: "Occurred" is a more formal verb choice than "was observed," which is slightly less common in academic writing.
"decreased considerably by 40% and 20%" -> "decreased significantly by 40% and 20%"
Explanation: "Significantly" is more formal and commonly used in academic texts than "considerably" when describing changes in data.
"remained unchanged" -> "remained constant"
Explanation: "Remained constant" is a more formal expression than "remained unchanged," which is slightly more colloquial.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the main trends in vehicle registration in Europe between 1996 and 2006. The essay also makes comparisons where relevant, highlighting the significant increase in the number of unidentified vehicles and the decrease in the number of motorcycles and lorries. However, the essay does not fully extend the key features/bullet points, and some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that the number of bus, coach, and taxi remained unchanged, but the chart shows a slight increase in the number of these vehicles.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more detailed information about the key features/bullet points. For example, the essay could provide more specific information about the percentage change in the number of unidentified vehicles. The essay could also be improved by avoiding irrelevant or inaccurate details. For example, the essay could avoid stating that the number of bus, coach, and taxi remained unchanged, as this is not accurate.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay presents information and ideas in a coherent manner, with a clear overall progression from the introduction to the summary of data. However, while cohesive devices are used effectively, there are instances where the cohesion between sentences could be improved, leading to a somewhat mechanical flow. The paragraphing is present but not always logical, as the transition between the discussion of different vehicle types could be more fluid. Additionally, referencing could be clearer, particularly when discussing changes in vehicle registration over time.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on improving the flow between sentences by using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that transitions are smooth. Additionally, organizing the information into distinct paragraphs that each focus on a specific aspect of the data (e.g., one paragraph for private cars, another for motorcycles, etc.) would help clarify the structure. Finally, ensuring that referencing is clear and consistent will aid in guiding the reader through the analysis.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, which allows for clear communication of the main features of the chart. The use of terms such as "significant changes," "dominated," and "unidentified vehicles" shows an attempt to incorporate less common vocabulary. However, there are inaccuracies in word choice and some awkward phrasing, such as "modest figures for motorcycles, lorries, and bus, coach, taxi," which could be more clearly expressed. Additionally, there are minor errors in spelling and punctuation (e.g., the inconsistent use of commas in lists) that do not impede understanding but detract from the overall quality.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary further by incorporating more sophisticated and precise terms. Additionally, improving the accuracy of word choice and ensuring correct collocations would strengthen the essay. Practicing varied sentence structures and reducing spelling or punctuation errors will also contribute to a higher score. Engaging with a wider range of reading materials can help in acquiring new vocabulary and understanding its contextual usage.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 performance. There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as "the most significant change was observed in the number of unidentified vehicles," which could confuse the reader. While the overall meaning is communicated, the errors in grammar and punctuation occasionally hinder clarity. The essay shows an attempt to use a variety of structures, but the control over these structures is inconsistent.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing grammatical accuracy and increasing the variety of complex sentence structures. This can be done by proofreading the essay to correct any grammatical errors and rephrasing awkward sentences for clarity. Additionally, incorporating more complex sentence forms and ensuring that the majority of sentences are error-free would help in demonstrating better control of grammar and punctuation.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar chart illustrates the number of different types of vehicles registered in Europe between 1996 and 2006.

Overall, there were significant changes in vehicle registration over the 10-year period, except for buses, coaches, and taxis. It is also clear that private cars were by far the most commonly used vehicles among the types examined.

In 1996, 19 million private cars were registered in Europe, compared to modest figures for motorcycles, lorries, and buses, coaches, and taxis, which stood at 1 million, 0.5 million, and 0.1 million, respectively. Meanwhile, the number of other types of vehicles registered in Europe that year was 4.5 million.

Over the next 10 years, the figure for private cars consistently dominated other types, reaching 24 million after an increase of 26.32%. However, the most significant change was observed in the number of unidentified vehicles, which rose by 58.38%. While the number of motorcycles and lorries in use decreased considerably by 40% and 20%, respectively, the figures for buses, coaches, and taxis remained unchanged.