the chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual’ income in 2007, 2011, and 2015
the chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual' income in 2007, 2011, and 2015
The given bar graph gives information about the number of households residing in the states, based on their yearly income. The statistic was recorded every four years, in 2007, 2011 and 2015.
It is clear that the number of households earning 10,000 dollars or more experienced a significant increase over the period while the middle- income groups remained stable. In contrast, the number of the lowest group, which earned less than 25,000 dollars each year went up with a small decline by 2015.
Turning to the data, the wealthest community, who earned 10,000 dollars or more yearly was the most dominant group in 2007, initiating at nearly 30 million households declined. Slightly to approximately 27 million in 2011 then reached the highest point of almost 35 million households after 4 years. Meanwhile, the number of households in the middle- earnings groups remained unchangeable throughout the period. The figure for the households whose annual income ranging from 50,000 dollars to 74,999 dollars kept stable at 20 million from 2007 to 2015. Another group in the middle- income communities, who earned from 75,000 dollars to 99,999 dollars every year declined slightly, from 14 million households to 13 million households between 2007 and 2011 then rose to exactly 15 million households in 2015. Interms of people whose annual income ranging from 25,000 dollars to 49,999 dollars, the number which was initially recorded at almost 27 million households jumped in 2011 and peaked at 30 million then decreased to 29 million households in 2015. Conversely, the figure for the lowest- income group, who only earned less than 25,000 dollars each year rose significantly in 2011, from 25 million to almost 29 million then decreased to approximately 27 million households at the end of the period.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"the given bar graph gives information about" -> "the provided bar graph presents data regarding"
Explanation: "Provided" is more formal than "given," and "presents data regarding" is a more precise and academic way to describe the function of the graph. -
"the statistic was recorded every four years" -> "the data were collected every four years"
Explanation: "Data" is plural, so "were" is the correct verb form. "Collected" is a more precise term than "recorded," which can imply a less formal action. -
"the number of households earning 10,000 dollars or more experienced a significant increase" -> "the number of households earning $10,000 or more experienced a substantial increase"
Explanation: "Substantial" is a more formal and precise term than "significant," which can be vague in academic writing. Additionally, using the dollar sign ($) is more standard in formal contexts. -
"the lowest group, which earned less than 25,000 dollars each year went up with a small decline" -> "the lowest income group, which earned less than $25,000 annually, increased slightly before experiencing a decline"
Explanation: "Income group" clarifies the context, and "annually" is more formal than "each year." The phrase "increased slightly before experiencing a decline" improves clarity and maintains a formal tone. -
"the wealthest community, who earned 10,000 dollars or more yearly was the most dominant group" -> "the wealthiest demographic, which earned $10,000 or more annually, was the most prominent group"
Explanation: "Wealthiest" is the correct spelling, and "demographic" is a more precise term than "community." "Prominent" is a more formal alternative to "dominant." -
"initiating at nearly 30 million households declined" -> "starting at nearly 30 million households, then declining"
Explanation: "Starting" is clearer than "initiating," and the structure is improved for better readability. -
"the number of households in the middle- earnings groups remained unchangeable" -> "the number of households in the middle-income groups remained unchanged"
Explanation: "Unchanged" is the correct term to convey stability, and "middle-income" is the appropriate term without the hyphen. -
"the households whose annual income ranging from 50,000 dollars to 74,999 dollars kept stable" -> "the households with annual incomes ranging from $50,000 to $74,999 remained stable"
Explanation: "With" is a more natural preposition than "whose," and "remained stable" is a clearer expression than "kept stable." -
"Another group in the middle- income communities, who earned from 75,000 dollars to 99,999 dollars every year declined slightly" -> "Another group within the middle-income demographic, which earned between $75,000 and $99,999 annually, declined slightly"
Explanation: "Within" is more precise than "in," and "between" is the correct term for ranges. "Annually" is preferred over "every year" for formality. -
"Interms of people whose annual income ranging from 25,000 dollars to 49,999 dollars" -> "In terms of individuals with annual incomes ranging from $25,000 to $49,999"
Explanation: "Individuals" is a more formal term than "people," and "with" is a more appropriate preposition. -
"the number which was initially recorded at almost 27 million households jumped in 2011 and peaked at 30 million" -> "the number, initially recorded at nearly 27 million households, increased in 2011 and peaked at 30 million"
Explanation: "Increased" is a more formal term than "jumped," and "nearly" is preferred over "almost" for academic writing. -
"Conversely, the figure for the lowest- income group, who only earned less than 25,000 dollars each year rose significantly in 2011" -> "Conversely, the figure for the lowest-income group, which earned less than $25,000 annually, rose markedly in 2011"
Explanation: "Markedly" is a more formal alternative to "significantly," and "annually" is preferred over "each year." -
"then decreased to approximately 27 million households at the end of the period" -> "then decreased to approximately 27 million households by the end of the period"
Explanation: "By the end of the period" is a more precise expression for indicating a time frame.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5
Explanation: The essay provides a general overview of the information presented in the chart, but it does not fully address all the requirements of the task. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends, differences, or stages in the data. The essay also presents some key features/bullet points, but it does not fully extend them.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the data. For example, the essay could state that the number of households earning $100,000 or more increased significantly over the period, while the number of households earning less than $25,000 increased slightly. The essay could also provide more detailed information about the key features/bullet points. For example, the essay could state that the number of households earning $100,000 or more increased from approximately 27 million in 2011 to almost 35 million in 2015. The essay could also provide more specific examples to support its claims. For example, the essay could state that the number of households earning $100,000 or more increased by approximately 8 million between 2011 and 2015.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay presents information in a coherent manner, with a clear overall progression from one idea to the next. The introduction effectively sets the context for the data being discussed. However, while the essay does use cohesive devices, their application can be somewhat mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences could be improved. The paragraphing is present but not always logical, as some ideas could be better grouped together to enhance clarity.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on improving the logical flow of ideas by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that related information is grouped together. Additionally, varying the use of cohesive devices and ensuring they enhance rather than disrupt the flow of the essay would be beneficial. Finally, refining the paragraph structure to ensure that it logically supports the progression of ideas would help in achieving a higher score in coherence and cohesion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, allowing for some flexibility in expression. It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "residing," "dominant," and "peaked," but there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "wealthest community" (should be "wealthiest community") and "the lowest group, which earned less than 25,000 dollars each year went up with a small decline" (which is confusing and poorly phrased). Additionally, there are errors in spelling and word formation, such as "Interms" (should be "In terms") and inconsistent use of hyphens in phrases like "middle- income groups." While these errors do not completely impede communication, they do detract from the overall clarity and sophistication of the vocabulary used.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range and ensuring precise word choice, particularly with less common lexical items. Additionally, they should work on spelling and grammatical accuracy, as well as improving the clarity of their phrasing. Practicing the use of collocations and ensuring that word forms are correct will also enhance the overall quality of the essay.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 performance. While there are some attempts to use complex structures, the overall grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several grammatical errors, such as "the wealthest community" (should be "the wealthiest community") and "initiating at nearly 30 million households declined" (which is awkwardly phrased). These errors occasionally hinder clarity but do not completely obstruct communication. The punctuation is also somewhat faulty, as seen in the inconsistent use of commas and hyphens.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing grammatical accuracy and control over sentence structures. This can be done by practicing the formation of complex sentences and ensuring that all sentences are clear and grammatically correct. Additionally, proofreading for common errors and improving punctuation usage would help in producing a more polished essay. Expanding the range of vocabulary and using varied sentence structures effectively can also contribute to a higher score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.
Bài sửa mẫu
The given bar graph provides information about the number of households residing in the United States, categorized by their annual income. The statistics were recorded every four years, specifically in 2007, 2011, and 2015.
It is clear that the number of households earning $10,000 or more experienced a significant increase over the period, while the middle-income groups remained stable. In contrast, the number of households in the lowest income group, which earned less than $25,000 each year, showed a slight decline by 2015.
Turning to the data, the wealthiest group, those earning $10,000 or more annually, was the most dominant in 2007, starting at nearly 30 million households. This figure declined slightly to approximately 27 million in 2011 before reaching its highest point of almost 35 million households after four years. Meanwhile, the number of households in the middle-income groups remained unchanged throughout the period. The figure for households with an annual income ranging from $50,000 to $74,999 remained stable at 20 million from 2007 to 2015. Another group within the middle-income communities, those earning between $75,000 and $99,999 each year, declined slightly from 14 million households to 13 million households between 2007 and 2011, then rose to exactly 15 million households in 2015. In terms of households with an annual income ranging from $25,000 to $49,999, the number, initially recorded at almost 27 million households, jumped in 2011 and peaked at 30 million before decreasing to 29 million households in 2015. Conversely, the figure for the lowest-income group, those earning less than $25,000 each year, rose significantly in 2011 from 25 million to almost 29 million, then decreased to approximately 27 million households by the end of the period.
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