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The chart below shows the numbers of three types of visitors to a museum between 1997 and 2012.Summarise the information by sele

The chart below shows the numbers of three types of visitors to a museum between 1997 and 2012.
Summarise the information by sele

The given chart illustrates how many people of three types of guests visiting a museum from 1997 to 2012. Overall, what stands out from the graph is that there was an upward trend in the number of matured visitors and special exhibition visitors, while visitors aged under 15 witnessed the opposite pattern. Another interesting point is that adult visitors by far the most popular guests during the mentioned period.

Looking at the details, there was slightly over 300000 adults visiting museum in 1997. After that, the figure experienced a minimal increase in the next 5 years, before soaring up to more than 400000 guests, which was the highest number during the mentioned period. Then, there was a decline by 20000 visitors in 2012.

With respect to Special Exhibition visitors, the number started at 28000 in 1997, followed by an slight growth by 14000 people in the following year and finally peaking at 42000 guests. An opposite pattern was found in the premature visitors, there was 120000 individuals paying a visit in 1997. At this point, the next 15 years experienced a considerable decline, hitting the trough of over 82000 guests in 2012, ranked the second.


 

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. “matured” -> “adult”
    Explanation: The term “matured” is not commonly used to describe the age group; “adult” is a more precise and standard term to refer to individuals of a certain age range.
  2. “witnessed the opposite pattern” -> “experienced a decline”
    Explanation: While “witnessed the opposite pattern” somewhat conveys the idea of a decline, “experienced a decline” provides a clearer and more direct description of the decrease in the number of visitors under 15.
  3. “by far the most popular” -> “the most prevalent”
    Explanation: “By far the most popular” is slightly informal; using “the most prevalent” maintains formality and expresses the dominance of adult visitors more effectively.
  4. “slightly over” -> “just above”
    Explanation: “Just above” is a more precise and concise way to describe a figure that is slightly higher than a specific number, enhancing clarity.
  5. “soaring up” -> “increasing sharply”
    Explanation: “Soaring up” is less formal; “increasing sharply” maintains formality and specificity in describing a substantial rise in the number of visitors.
  6. “a decline by” -> “a decrease of”
    Explanation: “A decline by” could be clearer as “a decrease of,” offering a more direct representation of the reduction in the number of visitors.
  7. “Special Exhibition visitors” -> “Visitors to Special Exhibitions”
    Explanation: This change maintains clarity and reads more fluently by rearranging the phrase.
  8. “an slight growth” -> “a modest growth”
    Explanation: “An slight growth” contains a typo and uses a less descriptive term; “a modest growth” conveys a clearer sense of a small increase.
  9. “premature visitors” -> “visitors under 15”
    Explanation: “Premature visitors” does not accurately represent the intended age group; using “visitors under 15” is more precise and clearer.
  10. “considerable decline” -> “significant decrease”
    Explanation: “Considerable decline” can be more precisely conveyed as a “significant decrease,” providing a clearer sense of the substantial drop in visitor numbers.
  11. “hitting the trough of” -> “reaching a low point of”
    Explanation: “Hitting the trough of” is less formal; “reaching a low point of” maintains formality and expresses the decline in visitor numbers more explicitly.

 

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay adequately addresses the requirements of the task, providing a clear overview of the main trends in the numbers of three types of museum visitors between 1997 and 2012. It appropriately covers the key features, including the upward trend in matured and special exhibition visitors and the opposite pattern for visitors under 15. The information is presented with clarity, and key details such as the peak number of adult visitors and the decline in premature visitors are appropriately highlighted.

How to improve:
To enhance the essay and potentially reach a higher band score, consider providing a more detailed analysis of the data. For instance, offering specific figures or percentages related to the changes in visitor numbers could add depth to the response. Additionally, ensure that the language used is consistently precise and that details provided are entirely accurate. Strive for a more extended and detailed explanation of the trends observed in the data.

 

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information, providing a clear progression throughout. The introduction effectively outlines the main trends observed in the chart. The body paragraphs are well-structured, focusing on each visitor type individually and providing specific details for each year. Cohesive devices are used appropriately, helping to connect ideas within and between sentences. There is a clear central topic within each paragraph, enhancing overall coherence. Paragraphing is mostly logical, contributing to the essay’s overall coherence and cohesion.

How to improve:
To enhance coherence and cohesion further, consider refining the transitions between paragraphs to create a smoother flow. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are consistently used, avoiding any potential under- or overuse. Pay attention to maintaining a more consistent tone and style throughout the essay. Overall, maintaining this level of organization while fine-tuning transitional elements would contribute to a higher band score.

 

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with varied and appropriate word choices. The writer effectively communicates the trends observed in the museum visitors over the specified period. There is a consistent effort to use less common lexical items, such as “matured visitors” and “special exhibition visitors,” showcasing an awareness of style and collocation. The use of descriptive language, such as “soaring up” and “hitting the trough,” adds nuance to the expression. Despite occasional errors in word choice and word formation (e.g., “premature visitors” instead of “visitors aged under 15”), the essay maintains clarity and coherence. Spelling and word formation errors, though present, are not pervasive and do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve:
To enhance the Lexical Resource score further, the writer should pay closer attention to word choice accuracy, ensuring precise use of terminology. Additionally, a more consistent and accurate use of less common vocabulary, along with attention to minor spelling and word formation errors, would contribute to a more sophisticated lexical presentation.

 

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of a variety of complex structures, such as the use of subordinate clauses and compound sentences. There is effective use of transitions and linking words to connect ideas, enhancing the overall coherence. The majority of sentences are error-free, and the writer maintains good control of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few minor errors present, such as “matured visitors” instead of “adult visitors” and a missing word in “followed by a slight growth.” These errors, while noticeable, do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve: To further enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should pay closer attention to word choices and proofread for minor errors. Additionally, ensuring consistency in terminology, such as using “adult visitors” instead of “matured visitors,” will contribute to a more polished and accurate essay. Overall, maintaining the current level of complexity in sentence structures while addressing minor errors will lead to improvement.

 

Bài sửa mẫu

Improved IELTS Task 1 Report:

The provided chart delineates the numbers of three distinct visitor categories to a museum from 1997 to 2012. In general, a notable upward trajectory is evident in the counts of matured visitors and those attending special exhibitions, whereas a contrasting pattern is observed among visitors aged under 15. It is noteworthy that adult visitors dominated as the most frequent guests throughout the specified period.

Examining the specifics, the count of adult visitors slightly exceeded 300,000 in 1997. Subsequently, there was a marginal increase over the next five years, culminating in a significant surge to over 400,000 guests, marking the peak of the mentioned period. However, by 2012, there was a decrease of 20,000 visitors.

Turning attention to Special Exhibition visitors, the count commenced at 28,000 in 1997, experienced a modest growth of 14,000 individuals in the subsequent year, and ultimately reached a pinnacle at 42,000 guests. Conversely, premature visitors numbered 120,000 in 1997, followed by a substantial decline over the next 15 years, reaching a nadir of over 82,000 guests in 2012, ranking second in the mentioned period.

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