the chart below shows the performance of spending on roads and transport in 4 countries from 1990 to 2005, Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

overall, there was a decline in the proportion of the government expenditure on roads and transport in all four countries. In addition, Portugal had the highest percentage in all years of the period.

the proportion of spending on roads and transport in Portugal reached at 27%, then it witnessed a significant decrease to 15% in 15 years later. Similarly, the government invested exactly 20% in the first year in Italia, after which it fell to about 13% and a final increase to around 14% in the last year.

the share of the UK government expenditure on roads and transport systems started at 11%, with a considerable fluctuation, before ending the period at 7 %. The figure for the USA fluctuated from 14% in 1990 to around 15% in 2000, followed by a decline to 13% in 2005.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"overall" -> "generally"
Explanation: "Generally" is a more formal and precise term than "overall," which is somewhat colloquial and vague in this context.
"there was a decline" -> "there was a decrease"
Explanation: "Decrease" is a more specific term in this context, as it refers to a reduction in quantity or amount, which is more appropriate for discussing changes in government expenditure.
"the proportion of the government expenditure" -> "the proportion of government expenditure"
Explanation: Removing "the" before "government expenditure" corrects the grammatical structure, making the phrase more concise and formally correct.
"reached at" -> "reached"
Explanation: "Reached at" is incorrect. "Reached" alone is sufficient and grammatically correct.
"15 years later" -> "fifteen years later"
Explanation: "Fifteen" should be spelled out in full to maintain the formal tone of academic writing.
"invested exactly" -> "allocated precisely"
Explanation: "Allocated precisely" is more formal and precise than "invested exactly," which is somewhat informal and less specific in this context.
"about 13%" -> "approximately 13%"
Explanation: "Approximately" is a more formal and precise term than "about," which is somewhat casual and imprecise in academic writing.
"a final increase to around" -> "a final increase to approximately"
Explanation: "Approximately" is more formal and precise than "around," which is less specific and less formal.
"started at" -> "began at"
Explanation: "Begun" is a more formal synonym for "started," which is more suitable for academic writing.
"considerable fluctuation" -> "significant fluctuation"
Explanation: "Significant" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "considerable," which can be vague and less formal.
"ending the period at" -> "ending the period with"
Explanation: "With" is more appropriate than "at" in this context, as it correctly describes the final state of the fluctuation.

These changes enhance the formality and precision of the language, aligning it more closely with the standards expected in academic writing.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay addresses the task by providing an overview of the main trends in government spending on roads and transport in four countries. It also makes some comparisons between the countries. However, the essay does not fully satisfy all the requirements of the task. For example, it does not provide a clear overview of the main trends in spending for each country. It also does not highlight all the key features of the data.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a more detailed overview of the main trends in spending for each country. It could also highlight more key features of the data, such as the highest and lowest spending levels for each country. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language to describe the trends in spending. For example, instead of saying "the proportion of spending on roads and transport in Portugal reached at 27%", the essay could say "the proportion of spending on roads and transport in Portugal peaked at 27% in 1990".

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to summarize the data, the transitions between points are not smooth, leading to a somewhat disjointed reading experience. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate, and there are instances of repetition without effective referencing or substitution. Additionally, paragraphing is present but not always logical, which further detracts from the coherence of the essay.

How to improve: To enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, the writer should focus on improving the logical flow of ideas. This can be achieved by using a wider range of cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that ideas progress logically from one to the next would strengthen the overall structure. Finally, refining paragraphing to clearly delineate different aspects of the data would improve clarity.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it conveys the main trends in government expenditure on roads and transport, the vocabulary used is basic and lacks variety. There are noticeable errors in word choice, such as "witnessed a significant decrease to 15% in 15 years later," which could be more clearly expressed. Additionally, phrases like "the government invested exactly 20%" are somewhat awkward and could be improved for clarity and precision. Spelling and word formation errors are present, which may cause some difficulty for the reader, such as "Italia" instead of "Italy."

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items and more precise expressions. Avoiding repetitive phrases and improving collocation would also help. Additionally, focusing on grammatical accuracy and clarity in expression will strengthen the overall quality of the essay. Using synonyms and varying sentence structures can contribute to a more sophisticated presentation of ideas.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6. While there are some attempts at using complex structures, the overall grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are errors in punctuation and sentence construction that occasionally hinder clarity, such as "then it witnessed a significant decrease to 15% in 15 years later," which could be more clearly expressed. The use of phrases like "the government invested exactly 20%" also lacks precision in terms of grammatical structure.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing grammatical accuracy and expanding the range of sentence structures. This can be done by practicing complex sentences with correct punctuation and ensuring that all sentences are clear and coherent. Additionally, reducing grammatical errors and ensuring that the meaning is conveyed without ambiguity will improve the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Overall, there was a decline in the proportion of government expenditure on roads and transport in all four countries. Additionally, Portugal consistently had the highest percentage throughout the entire period.

The proportion of spending on roads and transport in Portugal peaked at 27%, before experiencing a significant decrease to 15% 15 years later. Similarly, the government invested exactly 20% in the first year in Italy, after which it fell to approximately 13%, followed by a slight increase to around 14% in the final year.

The share of UK government expenditure on roads and transport systems started at 11%, exhibiting considerable fluctuations, before ending the period at 7%. In contrast, the figure for the USA fluctuated from 14% in 1990 to around 15% in 2000, followed by a decline to 13% in 2005.