The chart below shows the yield of wheat, barley, rice, and other grains grown in three different countries in 2001. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given bar chart presents information pertaining to the yield of three different countries in 2001.
Overall, it is apparent that Other grains held the largest crop compared to other categories in 2001. Notably, the figure for Wheat consistently represented the smallest yield capacity in this year, and the yield markets in both USA and China were far more competitive than their India counterpart.
Focusing on the category of Other grains, the chart reveals that both USA and China attained the greatest capacity of 9 tonnes, which was roughly 7 tonnes higher than India. Surprisingly, the USA was noted to be the largest market for Barley with a remarkable accumulation of 7.1 tonnes, and this was followed by 6.5 tonnes in China. The same was true for Wheat, as the USA and China maintained the first and second position, with respective figures being 3.5 tonnes and 2.5 tonnes.
Conversely, China took dominance over USA in terms of rice, reaching 7 tonnes whilst the USA harvested 6 tonnes of rice in 2001. However, India remained at its lowest ranking in these grain categories, and the lowest data of India was only one ton regarding to rice.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"yield markets" -> "production markets"
Explanation: "Yield" typically refers to the amount of agricultural product harvested, while "production" encompasses the entire process of growing and harvesting crops. Using "production markets" provides a clearer and more accurate description of the markets being discussed.
"capacity of 9 tonnes" -> "production of 9 tonnes"
Explanation: "Capacity" suggests the maximum amount that can be produced, whereas "production" refers to the actual amount harvested. Since the context is about the actual yield, "production of 9 tonnes" is a more appropriate phrase.
"accumulation of 7.1 tonnes" -> "production of 7.1 tonnes"
Explanation: Similar to the previous suggestion, "accumulation" implies a buildup over time, whereas "production" refers to the actual amount harvested. Using "production of 7.1 tonnes" maintains clarity in discussing the yield of barley.
"Conversely" -> "In contrast"
Explanation: "Conversely" is typically used to introduce a contrasting idea, but in this context, the word "conversely" doesn’t accurately capture the contrast between China and the USA in terms of rice production. "In contrast" provides a smoother transition between the comparison of rice production in the two countries.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

[
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features of the chart, including comparisons between the three countries’ yields of wheat, barley, rice, and other grains. The overview provided is clear and includes key details such as the dominance of other grains, the lower yield of wheat compared to other categories, and the competitiveness of the USA and China markets. However, some details may be irrelevant or inaccurate, such as the mention of "yield markets" and the statement about the competitiveness of India’s market. Additionally, the essay could provide a more thorough extension of key features and bullet points.
How to improve: Focus on presenting accurate and relevant details without adding unnecessary information. Ensure that comparisons between countries are clear and supported by the data provided in the chart. Expand on key features and bullet points to provide a more comprehensive analysis of the information presented in the chart.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a clear logical organization with a coherent progression of ideas. Each paragraph presents a clear central topic, starting with an overview statement and followed by detailed comparisons. The sequencing of information is logical, with comparisons made between countries and grain types. Cohesive devices are used appropriately to connect ideas, aiding the flow of the essay. However, there are instances of minor underuse and overuse of cohesive devices, which prevent a higher score.

How to improve:
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure consistent and appropriate use of cohesive devices throughout the essay. Avoid overusing phrases like "Notably" or "Surprisingly" and ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smoother. Additionally, strive for more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance clarity and cohesion. Finally, pay attention to the logical progression within and between paragraphs, ensuring that each paragraph builds upon the previous one in a cohesive manner.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, covering the key terms related to the chart such as "yield," "bar chart," and the specific types of grains. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "attained," "accumulation," and "counterpart," but with some inaccuracy in their usage. The essay also makes some errors in word formation and spelling, such as "yield markets" (should be "yields"), "maintained the first and second position" (should be "positions"), and "the lowest data of India" (should be "lowest data in India").

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource, focus on using more varied vocabulary with greater accuracy. Ensure that less common vocabulary is used correctly in the appropriate context. Pay attention to word formation and spelling to minimize errors and enhance clarity. Additionally, aim for more precise and concise expression throughout the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with attempts at a variety of sentence structures. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but they rarely reduce communication. The essay shows an attempt at using a wide range of structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent.

How to improve:
To improve, focus on achieving more consistency in the accuracy of complex structures. Pay attention to punctuation and ensure it is used correctly throughout the essay. Aim for clearer and more precise expression, especially in complex sentences. Additionally, work on using a wider range of complex structures with more confidence and accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided bar chart illustrates the yield of wheat, barley, rice, and other grains in three distinct countries during the year 2001.

In general, it is evident that other grains had the highest yield compared to wheat, barley, and rice in 2001. Notably, wheat consistently exhibited the lowest yield across the mentioned year, and both the USA and China demonstrated significantly more competitive yield markets compared to India.

Focusing on other grains, it is observed that both the USA and China achieved the highest yield of 9 tonnes, which was approximately 7 tonnes higher than India’s yield. Remarkably, the USA emerged as the leading market for barley with an impressive yield of 7.1 tonnes, followed closely by China with 6.5 tonnes. Similarly, in the category of wheat, the USA and China occupied the top two positions, with yields of 3.5 tonnes and 2.5 tonnes respectively.

Conversely, China surpassed the USA in rice yield, with 7 tonnes compared to the USA’s 6 tonnes in 2001. However, India consistently maintained its lowest ranking across all grain categories, with its lowest recorded yield being only one ton in rice.